[august]

"Dadda~" the toddler whined from his crib.

Namjoon sighed, shoving his books into his backpack.

He'd already tried explaining that tomorrow was the first day of school and he needed time to get ready, so Young-Jae would have to stay in his crib for a while.

But...

Namjoon couldn't resist dropping everything when he saw his son's large, innocent eyes and grabby hands held out to him, begging to be picked up and cuddled.

Reaching into the crib, his lips curved in a loving smile as he gently scooped up the small child, settling him on his hip. He then resumed his search for more miscellaneous supplies.

"Yes, Jae-Jae?" he asked softly, tossing a pack of newly bought pencils into the worn-out bag.

"Stolwy. Want stolwy," the toddler pouted.

Namjoon chuckled to himself at his son's adorable mispronunciation.

"I know, I know. But I have to pack before I can read you a bedtime story. If you wait juuust a few minutes, I'll read your favorite." He smiled at his son, watching as the little boy seemed to ponder over the words for a second before nodding his head vigorously.

Tiny, just fully-formed teeth visible in his smile.

Young-Jae threw his small arms around his father's neck, laying his head on Namjoon's shoulder. The teenager patted his son gently, before walking over to the crib and setting him down.

As he stood up, a knock came from the door.

Before he had time to answer, a blonde streak dashed inside, plopping itself down on Namjoon's bed.

"Tae, what's the point of knocking if you come in without permission, anyways," Namjoon lifted an eyebrow at the blonde.

"I was just being courteous by announcing my amazing presence before gracing your room." The younger brother rolled his eyes, jumping up, at the sound of his nephew calling his name.

"Hyung, relax. It's not like you had a girl over, and I was interrupting or something. You're about as sexually active as an old, decrepit grandma..." Taehyung turned to his brother, eyes squinted, finger stroking his chin, "Mmm which on second thought is offensive to grandmas everywhere-" the teenager raised his eyes to the ceiling, before sighing dramatically, "I'm sorry grandmas..."

Namjoon could only stare at his brother in bewilderment.

He would never understand the extent of Taehyung's weird humor.

"Taehyung, I'm seventeen. Why would I have a girl-"

"Hasn't stopped you before, Hyung," the younger brother interjected, sending a pointed look towards the crib with the unsuspecting toddler staring back wide-eyed and innocent.

Namjoon closed his mouth, glaring.

Taehyung nonchalantly shrugged, throwing his hands up as if surrendering, giving Namjoon a look that said, 'Hey, don't look at me, you walked into that one'.

The blonde cleared his throat.

"Plus, having someone over? Ridiculous and unheard of. You have a son to look after- speaking of which- hello my adorable little nephew~" Taehyung cooed.

He picked up the toddler, tickling his tummy and eliciting adorable little giggles from his mouth.

"Tata!" The little boy exclaimed as Taehyung spun him around, before going back in to tickle him again.

"Yes, my favorite little nephew?"

"He's your only nephew."

"Shush," Taehyung snapped, looking over at Namjoon and pointing a finger.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and let out a small snort at his brother's dramatics.

"I think we should go read a bedtime story, what do you think, Jae?"

You could tell the small boy was hesitant to leave his father, giving a wary look his way, as he continued to cling to his uncle's neck.

Namjoon scanned the room for his son's books, cursing himself for keeping them in their moving box, as he struggled to remember which one he left them in.

After finally retrieving his son's favorite and handing it to his brother, Namjoon placed a warm hand on the small child's back before planting a kiss on his chubby cheek.

"I think that's a nice idea. Why don't you go hang out with Uncle Tae for a bit while I finish packing, okay? When I'm done I'll come get you and tuck you in."

The small boy gave his father a pout before slowly moving his head up and down.

Taehyung didn't waste another second, as he placed the book in his nephew's hands, quickly shuffling across the floor.

"Great! Well, let's leave your dad to finish and go read this fantastic book. Off to my room, we goooo!" he quickly sped out with the giggling youngster, only turning to send a wink Namjoon's way after the older boy silently thanked him for the distraction.

Namjoon let out a sigh as he heard a door close further down the hallway, allowing him to relax and re-collect himself.

Anxiety coursed through his body, bringing an unsettling feeling to his stomach as he began to realize what tomorrow actually was.

The first fucking day of his twelfth fucking year at a new fucking school.

Fuck.

-

The first day of grade twelve, in a new school, in a new city, as the new kid who didn't know anybody and nobody knew him.

A fresh start, in a way- a clean slate.

One where he hopefully wouldn't be tormented, bullied, harassed, and called names for who he was and what he chose to become.

A father to his son.

Don't get him wrong, Namjoon loved his son with every fiber of his being. In fact, Kim Young-Jae was the apple of Namjoon's eye. A little angel sent from heaven, reminding him every day of how lucky he was to call that boy his own. Namjoon's world revolved around Young-Jae, and he honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

And yet, he always felt guilty about wishing that part of his life would stay hidden from the rest.

At fourteen, Namjoon was your typical teenage boy.

He enjoyed a normal school life: hanging out with friends, talking about video games and science, making his parents proud by being a straight-A student, and playing on the school's basketball team (even winning a few awards...which was impressive considering his clumsy nature).

Even as someone who often preferred plants over people, he didn't mind the crazy parties every weekend, spending them with his friends or with Taehyung who constantly begged to let him tag along.

His life was good.

Everyone seemed to enjoy his company, and he was even considered "popular".

But because of a careless mistake and one of those stupid, alcoholic-fueled parties, he was left a brief disappointment to his parents, a laughing stock to the whole school, and a father at the young age of fifteen.

After they found out, his friends ditched him, not wanting to be associated with the boy who knocked up the daughter of the vice principal. None of the girls wanted to be around him- not that that bothered him much- for fear that he would do the same to them.

And the bullying and harassment didn't stop at school. He had to change his phone number and delete all social media.

Even his parents were forced to change the home phone and their business numbers because of the constant barrage of prank calls, and nosy mothers disguising themselves as concerned individuals.

When his father explained to the family they were moving for his job, Namjoon was elated.

The relief upon realizing he would finally be rid of the harassment he had suffered for two long years, and the guilt of dragging his family's name through the mud, was probably the greatest moment of his life.

Aside from when he first held his newborn son, of course.

At one point, he might have been sad to leave such a perfectly normal life behind, but now, he couldn't wait to get out of the hellhole he once called his home.

-

Groaning, he threw himself on the bed, face up.

He was nervous and excited about the following day's events.

Would he like his new school? Would he make friends? He wondered about the people and the teachers. He even thought about clubs.

Of course, he wouldn't have time to do them, but he wondered if they had a basketball team. Were they any good?

Namjoon lay there, staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours, taking a much-needed breather. He sighed, feeling his shoulders relax, the tension leaving his body.

Slowly but surely, his eyes began to droop.

Moments like these were rare. Constantly taking care of an active two year old, there was never a dull moment. The few minutes of peace and quiet he did get, he cherished.

A light knocking stirred him from his thoughts, making his head dizzy with the effort of sitting upright so suddenly.

Remembering the ball of energy that barged through earlier without warning, Namjoon knew it wasn't Taehyung.

He quickly stood, going back to straightening his things as he'd already finished packing his school materials.

"Come in," he called out, hearing the door open.

Namjoon's mother, an elegant, lively lady, came waltzing in.

"Hi sweetheart, just wanted to check in on you," she explained, watching as he unpacked some shirts, shoving them into his drawer unceremoniously.

"Aish, let me help you. You're going to wrinkle your clothes," she scolded him lightly.

Namjoon jokingly rolled his eyes, smiling graciously at her, before helping to re-fold and place the shirts neatly in the drawer.

They worked in silence, continuing to unpack his clothes, finishing one box before moving to another.

-

Aside from the items that belonged to Young-Jae- those things, he'd unpacked first- much of Namjoon's stuff was still in their moving boxes.

Per request by his parents, Namjoon was given the biggest room in the house.

Their new home contained one master bedroom, which belonged to the young father and son. His parents got the second largest room, and although not tiny, Taehyung still whined about getting the smallest.

Young-Jae's crib sat in the corner, a play area fenced off alongside. Namjoon's bed was centered against the far wall, giving him easy access to the crib. The bathroom and closet sat on the opposite wall.

Presently, a handful of containers sat in the middle of the floor, stacked one on top of the other, filled with Namjoon's life.

It was sad that the teenager's life only consisted of ten(ish), medium-sized, cardboard boxes, but when his son was born, he didn't have much time for himself or things that he would enjoy having.

He'd traded in much of his small, sharp, collectors, and not-so-kid-friendly items to make sure the little boy would grow up in a safe environment. He only ever wanted what was best for his son.

-

"All done!" his mother exclaimed, shutting the door to the now full closet.

"Thanks, mom," Namjoon yawned, stretching out his arms.

"No problem, sweetheart. Oh! Look at the time. I better go get ready for bed, I have work tomorrow. Goodnight!" Namjoon's mother quickly kissed his cheek before exiting.

Glancing at his watch, his eyes widened at how much time had passed.

10:30

"Crap. It's way past Young-Jae's bedtime," Namjoon mumbled, quickly rushing out of his room and almost bumping into Taehyung, who was heading back to his brother's room with a sleepy toddler in his arms.

"Whoa there, broham. Where's the fire-"

Namjoon scrunched his eyebrows, at his brother's sudden lackadaisical attitude.

"Why are you calling me broham."

"Because it's fun, broham," the younger said with a smile, as Namjoon rolled his eyes.

"Stop saying broham."

"Why-?"

"Because it-"

"-Broham."

Taehyung giggled at his brother's clearly annoyed reaction, as the older Kim simply glared at his brother.

"I swear-"

"Here. Take your small sleepy child." Taehyung quickly handed Young-Jae over, as the child immediately latched onto Namjoon, burying his head in the crook of his father's neck. "He's wearing his pj's and I already helped him brush his teeth."

Namjoon felt guilty for leaving Taehyung to do his fatherly duties.

Although Taehyung could be childish himself, when it came to being an uncle to Young-Jae, he was the very best. If his brother needed anything, he never complained, always willing to be a helping hand.

Namjoon nodded gratefully at his younger brother.

"Thank you, Tae."

"No problem," the younger shrugged. "Broham."

Namjoon's smile turned into a frown.

He takes it back.

With the arm not holding his son, he reeled it back, punching his brother in the shoulder.

"Ow! What the fuuhuhuh-dge nuggets!"

Namjoon rolled his eyes as he turned to take Young-Jae back to their room.

"Go to bed Tae, we have school tomorrow."

The older swore he heard Taehyung grumble 'whatever, broham' before he shut the door.

Namjoon made his way over to the crib, gently setting Young-Jae down-

Well, trying to.

He wouldn't let go of his father's neck, and every time Namjoon tried to put Young-Jae down, he would get fussy and start whining.

"Jae-Jae, come on. It's way past your bedtime. Please lay down," Namjoon attempted to voice, over the small, whiny complaints of the toddler.

"No," the boy pouted, squeezing his father's neck tighter, almost choking him.

Namjoon tried to pry the tiny hands from his neck, confused by his iron grasp.

He'd never understand the super strength babies seemed to possess.

After struggling for a few moments and going through the continuous cycle of trying to set the boy down while he threw a mini tantrum, Namjoon started to rub the boy's back, hoping it would coax him to let go.

"Jae-Jae. Please get in your crib."

"No," the boy said again.

Namjoon tried to be more direct with his son, his voice becoming sterner.

"Young-Jae, you know I don't like to raise my voice at you, but-"

"No, Dadda! No!"

Namjoon sighed.

He knew Young-Jae couldn't be convinced, and quite frankly, he just wanted to sleep.

"Fine. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?"

It was silent as the boy clung to his father's neck.

Namjoon counted the seconds, hoping the response wouldn't be another 'no'.

The boy slowly pulled away, looking at his father in the eyes, when all of a sudden, a huge grin graced his lips as he nodded, furiously.

Namjoon rolled his eyes at his son's mischievous behavior, before making his way to the bed.

"Okay, but just this once! If I let you sleep here tonight, you have to sleep in your crib tomorrow. Promise?" Namjoon told the boy sternly, but Young-Jae continued to smile like he hadn't just caused a scene.

"Pwomise!"

Namjoon helped the giggling boy get under the covers, tucking in the corners, and turned to get himself ready for bed, when the toddler started to whine, not wanting him to leave.

"I'm just going to go brush my teeth and get dressed. I'll be right back baby, I promise," he said, leaning down to kiss the boy's forehead before making his way to the bathroom.

After quickly completing his nighttime routine and slipping into his pajamas, Namjoon exited the bathroom.

"See, Jae-Jae? I told you I wo-" he stopped mid-sentence and chuckled at the sight.

Young-Jae had already passed out on the bed.

Namjoon's heart swelled at the sight of his son's adorable, chubby, face pressed lightly against the pillow, sleeping peacefully. His mouth was parted just slightly, and his hair splayed in every direction.

"I wouldn't be long," Namjoon whispered, before climbing under the covers, careful not to wake the toddler.

He reached over to turn off the bedside lamp, blinking a few times, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dark.

As if sensing his father's presence, Young-Jae rolled on top of his chest, fist balled up in Namjoon's shirt, as he continued to snore softly.

Chuckling at the action, Namjoon momentarily forgot about the day ahead.

He placed a soft kiss on the boy's forehead, before wrapping his arms around the younger, protectively.

"Sweetdreams, Young-Jae."