After a week on the West Coast, the team recently came back to Jersey. Luckily enough, Jack knew I needed space, which he gave to me after I found out about what happened in Vegas. He'd been the one to reach out first, asking if he could come over to talk to me once the team had gotten back. Being away from each other for a week, I'd had enough time to think and sort my thoughts, which made talking today feel right. Emilie was home with me, but she was in her room editing a few videos for sponsors. She knew Jack was coming over to talk and although she was hesitant and worried for me, I assured her I was okay enough to talk to him. When would be the right time to talk about it if it wasn't now?

Fully dressed, but certainly not to impress, I pace back and forth in front of the couch. He should surely be here any minute now. Knots form in my stomach almost like my body could tell Jack is nearby. Not long after, I could hear light footsteps getting closer and closer to my front door. Two seconds later, a knock at the door interrupts my pacing, breaking me out of my thoughts

Taking a deep breath standing in front of the door, I brace myself to see him. Jack, the guy who's occupied my thoughts for months, the guy who has not only made me the happiest girl in the world but also made me feel like the most loved girl in the world. I feel a knot in my stomach forming, not feeling like the happiest girl in the world right now. 

Clearing my thoughts, I place my hand on the doorknob, opening it to reveal a seemingly tired-looking Jack. The glow often on his face was now gone, and the light in his eyes was missing. Dark circles made a home under his eyes, showing that he probably hasn't slept much or at all recently.

"Hey," I say to break up the seemingly awkward silence in the air, something that had never existed between us before. "Hey," He repeated, trying to show even the smallest smile, but failing. Not saying another word, I step to the side, my arm directing him to come in. Leading him into the living room and towards the couch, taking a seat at opposite ends. It was almost as if that pull we'd felt for each other from the beginning was severed. Silence makes a home in the space between, my eyes moving from him to my feet. I felt Jack's eyes looking at me, which made me feel like he was waiting for my eyes to meet his.

You can do this Charlotte. Just look at him and have this conversation. It's important for you both, if not now, then when? My eyes catch his as I try to get a read on him, but I don't even know what I see. "Lotte I'm-" "Jack wh-" We both find ourselves trying to talk at the same time, but fall silent once again, waiting for the other to speak first. Jack looks at me, signaling for me to go first.

Taking a deep breath, "I can't understand why this happened Jack. You kissed a random girl and you even walk off somewhere with her. Why?" Tears brim my eyes, the pit in my stomach from the morning I found out making a reappearance. While sorting my thoughts in the days leading up to this, these were the questions that mostly plagued my mind. Looking at him, my eyes pleaded with him to tell me the truth. His own eyes start to tear up, causing me to feel my own heart shatter.

"Charlotte I messed up bad, I know I did. There's nothing I could say that will make any of this better. She said she was a fan and asked for a picture I said yes, but the next thing I knew she kissed me. As for walking off with her, I don't even remember what she said or why I went with her in the first place, but when I realized what was happening I went back to the guys." His hand takes mine, lightly holding my hand with eyes on me.

"Has anything like that ever happened before?" As much as I wanted to trust him, I couldn't help wondering if anything like this had ever happened before. He looks at me slightly upset that I would even think something like that, "What?... No. The guys and I occasionally go out, but always go to a cordoned-off area so we can have a good time without fans taking pictures of our every move. You can even ask Nico and Jesper if you'd like. They could tell you." We fall silent, my mind working on registering all the new information. Noticing my silence, Jack's eyes hold worry, not sure what might be going on in my head.

"Charlotte, I'm truly so sorry. I know that an apology won't fix the hurt you feel from this and I understand that. I'm not asking you to forgive me now or ever. What happened, and what I did was shitty and you didn't deserve that. I betrayed your trust and I understand if you want or need more time. Take all the time you need." He takes a deep breath, his eyes softly looking at me.

"Jack, it's embarrassing to put so much trust in someone, only for something like this to happen and mess that up. To practically have the whole internet keeping a close eye on us and how we respond to this doesn't make it any better." Disappointment makes itself known on my face, causing Jack to look away from me, but he fails to notice that I saw the tears streaming out of his eyes.

"I h-have to go, but like I said, take your time Charlotte." Clearing his throat and drying his eyes with his sleeve, he walks towards the door. Once he makes it out the door, he abruptly stops for a second, before turning back to me, his mouth opens almost as if he was going to say something. Just as quickly as he'd opened his mouth, it closed again, turning around and walking away. Once he's about to turn a corner, he turns around taking a quick look at me. I feel my arms move to hug myself, tears brimming my eyes once again.

When he's out of sight, I walk back into my apartment closing the door. My hand stays on the door squeezing my eyes shut as more tears flow from my eyes. My hands fly to my eyes trying to wipe away the tears which proves to be fruitless. Emilie must hear me crying as I feel her coming up, her arms coming around me to hug me.