CHAPTER TWELVE

Control

     That night, Estelle snuck away to take a walk in the gardens by herself. The crescent moon illuminated enough, but sometimes, Estelle had to squint to see. She didn't dare use her powers for something as simple as seeing in the night.

Her thoughts couldn't help but wander. And what did they wander to?

Prince Nikolai Lantsov.

Of course. Who else?

They met in Ketterdam, while Nikolai was just beginning his studies at the University there. Estelle was trying to live inconspicuously after having run away from the most notorious Grisha in the world.

Somehow, they clicked.

Nikolai offered Estelle food and helped her get work while she tried to help him study for school. But it just wasn't enough for Nikolai. He needed to do more. He wanted to help people, instead of learning useless things he was sure he didn't need to know.

So for a few years, they separated. Estelle knew he went to find another purpose to his life, he had never elaborated what that meant. She couldn't live off of scraps on the street anymore.

A life on the seas called to her.

Being on the run was easier when you had a ship and a loyal crew. No one could find you. You could slip away in the night, and live on the sea with only a few stops once in a while.

Then, they found each other again. They made the same stop in the Southern Countries, and the moment Estelle saw him, she recognized the sketches he'd drawn of an alter-ego privateer. Rust-colored hair, muddy green eyes, that teal frock coat he adored.

Obviously, friendship between two captains on wanted ships couldn't be easy. Nikolai angered a lot of people and the former captain of the Izoćeici was trying to reclaim his ship.

They communicated with coded letters. A decoder only the two of them owned, they left secret messages everywhere they went, sure that the other would stop there for supplies soon.

Jobs came and went. Find a missing son. Break a blockade. Wherever the money came from, whether they did it together or alone, they always had a new story to tell.

And occasionally, they even met up. A day or two out of a year, their ships would dock at the same place at the same time and their crews would have drinks together. The crew aboard the Volkvolny were nervous about Estelle's crew at first, it was bad luck to have a woman aboard ship, but they soon learned that they weren't too different from each other. Runaways, people who get a high off the chase, peacekeepers, loyals.

One of these nights was the night Estelle drank a little too much with Nikolai and ended up sleeping with him.

They both agreed that it was a mistake, no matter how much it hurt Estelle to say. They were both drunk, not thinking properly. She hated that it happened that way, and not some way they'd remember for years to come.

For the first time in a while, Nikolai had been speechless. His eyes wide like he couldn't believe he actually managed to sleep with Estelle. He didn't even have anything witty to say.

That was also right before Estelle received their last job before separating one final time. That was the job that truly changed everything.

"You look deep in thought."

Estelle's head snapped up at the sudden voice. She assumed the man in formal dress standing a few paces from her was Vasily Lantsov, Nikolai's older brother and the crown prince of Ravka. His weak chin and his heavy lids made it look like he was bored or drunk.

She let out a breath and nodded. "I was, yes."

Vasily nodded, his hands clasped behind his back. It was hard to see him in the dark, but Estelle didn't mind. It would surely make her only more uncomfortable.

"No doubt thinking of our new arrivals coming tomorrow."

Estelle frowned. "You mean your brother?"

"Indeed. And the Sun Summoner. I've heard you have history."

"I don't know who told you that, but I wouldn't believe everything you hear," she told him.

He raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. Behind her, thorns from a rose bush pricked her legs. "Is that so?"

"It is so," Estelle replied curtly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to my room. I've wasted enough of tonight."

She made to leave, but Vasily reached out and grabbed her forearm. Estelle clenched her fist, but did nothing as he stepped even closer, his breath fanning her ear.

"If Nikolai thinks he can take the throne I deserve, he's going to have to try a lot harder than coming in with a Sun Summoner, Star Summoner, and the threat of the Darkling. He doesn't get this. I will be the king. You tell your lover that."

Quickly, Estelle yanked her arm away and rushed out of the gardens. His harsh words shouldn't have affected her, but they somehow made her angry. He didn't deserve the throne, he's never done anything to deserve it.

Nikolai served in the army, and spent the last few years secretly helping Ravka as the privateer Sturmhond. Nikolai cared about his people, the only thing Vasily cared about was his reputation and power.

That little weasel.

Well, Estelle knew one thing. He was going to choke on his words. Nikolai would be king, and he would be a great one.

A king that people generations from then would look up to. A king that cared. A king that did everything in his power to make his country better for everyone.

—

Although it pained her so, Estelle didn't wait with the thousands of First Army soldiers waiting at Os Alta's entrance, Vasily leading them. Instead, she went to survey the Little Palace on her own.

Going about their everyday activities, Grisha in keftas walked around the grounds, practicing on their own or in groups. As Estelle passed by, they gave her varying looks. Curiosity, confusion, disgust, bare amusement. Estelle didn't have a kefta, so either they thought she was a random messenger being too curious, or word of her Small Science had already spread.

The second proved to be true when a Tidemaker stopped her from going further. "You're really a Star Summoner?" he challenged.

Estelle's lips quirked up and she leaned back on her left leg. "I am."

"Why are you here?" he demanded.

"Excuse me?" Estelle asked.

The Tidemaker stared at her. "You heard me. Why are you really here? Are you going to try to take over the throne, just like the Darkling?"

"No," she defended herself. That was ridiculous. Why would she want the throne?

Another Tidemaker joined the other. "Wait. I remember you. The Darkling was keeping you a secret from everyone a few years ago. You were a child then, but I remember you."

Estelle froze. No one should have seen her. The Darkling made sure of it. He kept her nice and hidden, where no one could find her. Yet she had seen Estelle.

"What?" Estelle uttered, her heart rate quickening rapidly.

The Tidemakers glanced at each other. "So it's true. You were here," the woman remarked. "The Darkling must have you here for some reason, right? You were his special Grisha, the Star Summoner. You couldn't be here for anything else."

"I'm not..." Estelle swallowed, trying to get rid of the dryness in her throat. "I'm not with the Darkling. I would never—"

The man shook his head, interrupting her. "No. I don't want to hear your manipulation, the very same you probably learned from the Shadow Summoner himself."

They were closing in on her. She couldn't breathe. She wouldn't—she couldn't be associated with him. He was a monster, she'd been pulled in by his hook. Estelle would have never done a single thing for him if she had known his true motives and the things he'd done in the past.

Together.

His voice pushed through the panic, luring her back to the dark.

Estelle tried shoving the whispers away. It didn't work very well, only bringing them back, more fervent than before.

We can rule the world.

We'll make Ravka great.

We can do it all together.

Together.

"Afraid you'll be found out and executed?" one of the Tidemakers taunted. Estelle didn't know which one. Black was seeping into her vision.

Together, Estelle.

"Pathetic," the other muttered. "Can't even own up to where her loyalties lie."

I am loyal to Ravka. I will do anything for this country, as I'm sure you would, too.

Estelle was shoved backwards and onto her back, the rocks beneath her digging into her skin, no doubt leaving marks. The Tidemakers laughed at her helpless figure.

Her fists clenched now, Estelle had no real control over what she did next.

Starlight burst out, blinding Estelle and the two Tidemakers. They shouted in shock and pain, and she swung her legs out to trip them. Their bodies thumped on the ground before they could realize what was happening.

And once they could collect their bearings again, Estelle was long gone.

Then words spread quickly. The Star Summoner attacked a pair of unsuspecting Grisha, the story warped and twisted, turning into a tale of hit-and-run.

It spread all through the Little Palace, then the Grand Palace, through the higher part of Os Alta. Estelle didn't regret it, though.

She didn't know why, but she didn't regret it. Not one bit. 

a/n— Nikolai's coming soon, don't worry!