«...To think about it, you spend years on planning out the whole thing, uncountable time, to realise that it's going to be brought to life in less than a month. How terrifyingly beautiful it is, to feel the satisfaction fill your veins, while you...»

— A snippet from Drusilla Tyrell's diary.

• 

It is unpleasantly scary, to feel that someone is interested in your personality or in your life, Aegon realises, when Drusilla continues to listen to him for a few hours, with no disgust or tiredness. She hums and gasps on certain parts, though, but as her hand slightly pats his shoulder in the act of support, Aegon knows that she is not judging him.

He thinks he forgot when was the last time something like this happened.

'You... You shouldn't really, well, pity me,' he says to her forwardly, glancing in her eyes. 'Perhaps, you don't know but people in there hate me, dear Silla.'

Drusilla raises her thin brows, surprised. And he couldn't help but wonder how after everything she heard from him, she still doesn't understand the gravity of the situation he is in.

'Oh? Why would they?'

'Because I am a disgrace to my own family,' his lips turn high in the smile, and he continues bitterly. 'You know, my company will bring nothing good to you. How can a drunkard and a man who spends time with whores can be a good friend?'

It is obvious that Aegon's reputation never reached the Highgardens. Either way, someone like Drusilla wouldn't spend time around him. So... So he shall warn her himself, just so she could run away before he allows himself to think that someone cares for him. And before his mother does so for him, because she would be much harsher with words.

'Oh,' she mutters. 'You know, my sweet Augustus always says this - every person is like a coin. Have two sides. But the thing is... Ah, how he said that... Ah, he thinks that these sides depend on every person... Like... A thousand people will toss a coin, and everyone will catch like different sides... I mean...' Drusilla sighs, rubbing her forehead, desperately. 'Please, say that you understand me.'

Wow, Drusilla, just like him, must be the least interested in philosophy... Aemond would be so disappointed.

But, surprisedly, Aegon understands what she means.

'And?'

'And, I mean, some people saw this side of you. The one that is always in brothels, and doing... Stuff,' he laughs from how she tries not to use rude words, the lady at its finest. 'But I saw the opposite side. I still see the boy, who played with me and my brother. I still see him in you, but he simply became... More lonely.'

His breath stutters.

'Wh–'

'I am sorry... I think it is unfair... Me and Augustus left you, after all. Never wrote anything after we parted our ways, and... Well, I feel responsible,' Drusilla tells him, with sincere sadness in her blue orbs. 'Aegon. You are still my friend. Even if you don't think so. And... You can do so much better! Don't listen to anyone, alright?'

'I...'

It must be the nicest thing Aegon had ever heard about himself. For his own life, truly.

He could say his eyes prickling, and heart feels uneasy, the desire to cry on Drusilla's shoulder is almost too irresistible. But he manages to hold himself in place, somehow, though he gladly accepts the handkerchief she offers him.

'You know, Silla... You should tell your brother that you want to marry someone, who is not Targaryen.' Aegon advises her slowly.

Drusilla blinks at him numbly.

'...Why?'

Why? Why would anyone want to marry Targaryen if not deliberately? Why, when they only bring chaos, and every house that decides to share it with them, falls as well?

'You are too nice for this house. They will destroy you.'

And he means that.

•

Ha.

Drusilla knew for sure, from the very beginning, that Aegon will be the easiest target out of all of Targaryens, but she still thought that it will take at least a few days to soften his heart to start everything else.

Well.

..A few hours is fine too, she guesses.

How pathetic truly he is. Perhaps, Drusilla would be less disgusted by him, if he was a better person, but she is not stupid. She knows every single thing that happens in these walls, for a long time, and poor servants, who suffer from Aegon are included in this list.

Drusilla is placing her books by the right alphabet order, when there is a short knock on the door, making her tense. She coughs slightly, ready to change her voice on the less deep one.

'Yes? Come in, please!'

But the one at the door is Aemond, and so she relaxes, nodding at him shortly and returning to sorting things.

'I see you are already quite comfortable with... Our chambers.'

'Mhm,' Drusilla hums. 'It is a vast room. I like it.'

Their chambers are really enormous, with a big bed and two workplaces that are located in front of each other. Drusilla assumes Aemond was nice enough to think that she will want to work at the table just as much as him, despite possible jokes from his grandfather. Yet, Aemond was not wrong, and she feels grateful.

He slowly steps closer to her, and she can feel his chest pressed to her back a little bit; not in the caging manner like all men do, usually, but rather more interested in the books she brought with herself.

'I chose it. Hopefully, you don't mind that it's darker here than in most of the rooms, my lady,' he says, carefully taking the book from her hands, examining the cover. 'I am suffering from constant headaches. A lot of windows are not helping my state, usually. Mhm. I see you are interested in history.'

'That is fine, I am sensitive to light, too,' Drusilla assures him, turning a little bit to see what book he took. 'I am interested in many things. Why?'

Aemond takes a sharp breath, and she can say he likes this response. Drusilla thinks that he has a long way to go to realise that they are too alike in most things.

...Or almost all.

She is smarter and less desperate than him. Which adds him a charm, of course, but obviously makes her better.

'No particular reasons why,' he returns calmly.

The evening dawns behind the window, which means that family dinner is coming soon, and from this day Drusilla should participate in all of them as well. It is fine for her, if only not... Helaena's presence.

The girl is nice, really - more than anyone in this family, respectfully - but she is smarter than others. And she sees more than others. Yes, most of the family doesn't trust her judgement, being fools, but Aemond? No, he will believe her right away. And if Helaena sees something, regarding her–

'We need to discuss the schedule.'

Drusilla blinks her thoughts away, raising her head, trying to maintain eye contact; something that is utterly hard with their terrible height difference.

'Elaborate?'

'When you usually wake up and go to sleep. Are our timings matching or will there be an additional struggle.'

It is a pleasant, though not surprising, thing that Aemond is still an over-controlling little freak. She just needs to make sure that he will not understand that she is over-controlling as well, until the right time comes.

'I wake up at eight, usually,' Drusilla starts thoughtfully. '...And I go to sleep really late at night. It might be a problem.'

'Not necessarily, I have troubles with falling asleep as well,' Aemond nods to himself. 'Another thing... An eye patch.'

Drusilla almost hisses; her neck is starting to ache from the urge to raise it high, so his eye is the last problem that she cares for. Gods, how the fuck he got so tall! Even Aegon is quite short!

'What about it?'

'I think we both agree that our marriage most likely will be held in the end,' Aemond starts to talk, watching her expression carefully as if he is waiting for her to object. 'My face without an eyepatch was only ever seen to family members, and it is only fair that–'

Drusilla raises a hand to stop him from talking further.

She knew this conversation would happen—after all, she did everything for it: created some non-existing tradition with sharing chambers, made sure Aemond likes her a little bit already before hearing it as well; only because it is like this with him. He needs to be pushed in some extra conditions, so he could slip in trust more easily than usual–just thought that she had some time before it.

How funny, after all.

Aemond is more defensive than Aegon, clearly, yet, in the right circumstances, and by playing the right scenario—and by that she means allowing him to think that he controls the situation–he is no less starved than his brother.

'Before I'll say what I say, I need to warn you, my Prince, that I am saying not as an excuse, because I am scared or disgusted by scars and everything else.'

He smirks at her.

'Oh, I remember hearing something about my scar adding a charm to my features,' he teases.

Drusilla pretends to be surprised by the sudden realisation; in the way she knows her eyes will go wide for a mere second, and shoulders will twitch - little details that make it look as if her perfect act broke for a second from a sincerity of emotions.

'You... You heard that part, too,' she mutters, acting embarrassed. As if she didn't write these lines and this scenario a few years ago. 'A-anyway. I don't want you to open up to me your most vulnerable part, just because you think you must do that out of respect.'

It is his turn to ask for an elaboration, and Drusilla happily provides him with it.

'My Prince, if you desire to show me it, because you think I am trustable enough for that, because you want to share that sentiment with you,' she holds a pause, 'then, I will be glad and honoured. But until now... Please, don't make it some kind of an act of duty. It is not the place for that, we both know.'

Oh, isn't she is the perfect image of the most unproblematic, comfortable wife? Drusilla is smart enough to contain Aemond's wish to have a friend and company, and she pretends the best to be a woman that his family wishes to see around him. Drusilla is quiet and not pressing on anything, not even bothering that he openly told her that she forever will be nothing compared to a dead girl. Drusilla is respectful and understanding. And from his point of view, she needs him as much as he needs her.

She is everything Aemond wanted.

And while it makes him wonder how he got so lucky, he can't help but slowly yet surely grow fond of her. At least, platonically at first.

Drusilla Tyrell is the best choice he has.

She made everything to make sure that it is how she looks.

And it works perfectly.

'Hm. I appreciate that, though, you shall understand that there will hardly be a time when I will do so, no matter how warm our relationship will be.'

She shrugs.

'So be it, then.'

'So be it,' Aemond agrees eventually.

Drusilla smiles.

She thinks it will be the end of month, when he will be on his knees before her, head on her lap, while she will stroke down his hair, an eyepatch long forgotten somewhere on the bed.

•

Aemond thinks he will go insane from how awkward their dinner is. The worst one from every one they held before, actually.

They can't talk about politics since Otto insisted not to do so before they will make sure that Drusilla is not a spy.

("She might be stupid enough not to understand what we will discuss, but, it doesn't mean that she is bad at remembering what she heard".)

And while his mother tries to make them look like a normal family, by talking on different topics, no one beyond Drusilla answers to her: Aemond hardly being talkable, Helaena still flinching from their mom from time to time, and Aegon... Aegon clearly tries to reach a wine.

And it is the worst part of this evening, because due to having Drusilla around them, Alicent can't just stand up and hit her son, or yell at him, still willing to hold reputation, at least for this month.

'Oh, I heard that in Highgardens...' Alicent never finishes her sentence, the burning gaze stopping at Aegon, who actually managed to find a bottle of wine from somewhere. 'Aegon. Sweetie. Please, I don't think we should drink anything today. Do you want juice?'

Aegon huffs, rolling his eyes, ever disrespectful.

'Oh, mom, darling,' he copies her intonation, well-knowing that none of them uses pet names, 'I am so happy that we are about to have another family member, I can't not celebrate.'

'Aegon,' Otto says, voice strained.

Aemond experts nothing but a feeling of burning shame.

Dealing with Aegon shenanigans all the time is fine for him, really. But it gets really awfully pathetic, when people outside the family see that. If Drusilla was the woman she seemed to be in their first meeting, Aemond would probably be less worried than he is now. But Aegon is simply embarrassing him and his mother, both, and that is unacceptable.

'Aegon,' Drusilla calls him suddenly, raising a little bit on her chair; she sits beside Aemond, but Aegon's place is located right in front of them, 'why drink? You promised to tell me about holidays here, remember? I think it is a good time to start!'

Aemond mentally waits for his brother's explosion, and though he is not really in mood for fighting with him publicly—because he will clearly snap by calling Lady Tyrell cunt or worse, and he is a good prince, who should protect his woman's honour—he also is prepared to do so. A tradition, really.

At this point, everyone already knows what will happen next, because Helaena smiles at Drusilla gently, shaking her head.

'Please, lady Tyrell, be careful... You don't need to bother yourself with taking care of our personal–'

'Oh, I forgot about that,' Aegon sighs suddenly, ever calm. His grip on the alcohol becomes so weak that Drusilla manages to take the bottle from him, fully returning to her place. 'Fine, Silla. Well, what is that holiday you want to know, little air-head?'

Aemond blinks, surprised.

So do others.

Alicent coughs, and quickly suggests, before anything goes wrong:

'Why don't you tell her about how we usually celebrate birthdays, Aegon?'

Drusilla claps enthusiastically, always with a happy face and Aemond leans to her side a little bit unconsciously. Curiously.

'I would be very happy to hear that!' She giggles in that annoying voice of hers. 'Please, Aegon!'

'Fine, fine! So, basically...'

No, there is clearly something absolutely magical in this girl. Not only is she absolutely comfortable to cooperate with, but also knows how to win the hearts of others. Aemond can practically feel like Drusilla charmed his mother and Helaena by this simple gesture of stopping Aegon. And judging by the easiness, she carries herself, Drusilla doesn't even understand what she has done.

Amazing.

When they finish dinner—it is the first one for so many years without arguments or drunk Aegon at the table—Aegon excuses himself by saying that he is tired and wants to sleep; and according to the maids he actually goes to sleep, everyone is enchanted by Drusilla.

Helaena helps her to stand up, and that is when Aemond notices that lady Tyrell looks slightly stiff. He wonders if it is tiredness from a long day of pretending or simply something made her uncomfortable? Clearly, not his sister; Helaena is admittedly the only one whose company makes others feel easy.

Aemond approaches Drusilla from behind, lightly tapping her shoulder, warning about his presence. She nods quickly, but her eyes fully locked on Helaena, almost concerned. He understands why she looks so only seconds later.

'The green and black walls collide, only to be painted blue,' Helaena announces with a wide smile.

Alicent pales, running to her daughter's side.

'Oh, what does that mean?' Drusilla asks with big round eyes, almost childishly curious.

'It is nothing,' Alicent quickly wraps her arm around her daughter's elbows. 'You see, sometimes our sweet Helaena–'

'I see that pretty clearly,' Helaena interrupts mother. 'You will stay here with us, lady Tyrell. And your presence will bring us only good. Thank you for that.'

Drusilla is surprised.

Her fingertips tremble a little, and Aemond probably is the only one to see that, this sign being so small that he can't even say why he noticed it.

'Oh!' She exclaims after a long pause. 'Thank you, my lady Targaryen! It is such a nice thing to say!'

If Aemond had his suspicions about Drusilla's real motives considering his family, they are all gone after hearing his sister's words. Helaena knows it, when the danger is around, and clearly Drusilla is the opposite of this.

Mother thinks it is stupid to trust her fever visions, but Aemond knows better.

After all, it was him who closed his eye to achieve the dragon.

 •

It is midnight, Drusilla is still nauseous after family dinner, panic she got while talking to Helaena—she was so close to a tragedy, really; she spent an additional hour, breathing harshly in and out, thinking about actually puking everything she had eaten—when Aemond returns to their shared chambers.

'Did you know that it is the first night in a few years that my brother has fallen asleep without getting wasted?'

Of course, she knows.

She knows everything about them, after all.

'Oh,' Drusilla raises her eyes from a book she was reading. 'It is a good thing, then? I am glad I was able to help, even a little bit.'

'Mhm,' she watches how Aemond slowly unlaces his boots, still deep in thoughts. 'I appreciate your concerns about my family.'

'I like them,' she lies bluntly. 'Queen Alicent reminds me of my mother, when she was in a better state, something I deeply miss. And Aegon used to be a good friend of mine. Helaena is the sweetest as well. I also... Your grandfather looks like a smart man, but I don't think he likes me very much.'

She doesn't like Alicent as much as she is indifferent to her mother. And she never liked Aegon, even in the past. And Otto? Gods, she wishes to see him dead once.

'He hardly likes us, and strangers to him mean nothing,' Aemond chuckles, sitting on the bed, with his back to her. 'It is a good thing you like them. But be careful of Aegon, though, Lady Tyrell. He is unpredictable and unstable.'

Ha!

It is her who is unpredictable and unstable. And his family is the easiest people to play with to ever exist. But, oh, of course. Whatever makes him sleep easier at night.

'Thank you for advice, my Prince. I will try to be as careful as possible.'

A/N: I wonder how confusing things are for people who don't know the plot like I do, but I swear it will be easier to understand it later... Anyway, one man almost down, am I right?