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“Kenma? You've been in there for
over an hour already, hurry a little.
Your dad needs to use
the bathroom too.”

His mother gently knocked
against the bathroom door,
a hint of worry audible
in her voice.

Her son had never been the most
talk active but these past days he
had been even more quiet.

Maybe the practice week and all
the socializing with the other
students had really worn him out.

“I'll be out in five minutes.”

Kenma answered, hoping that
the remaining bit of energy in
his body was enough for his
mother to hear him.

And he knew that he'd probably
stay in the bathtub much longer
because at the moment it felt
impossible to move a single limb.

He sat crouched in the water,
knees drawn to his chest as he
hugged his legs but his eyes
were empty and staring
at nothing particular.

After the barbecue Friday evening
Kenma had excused himself pretty
early, claiming that he had been
very tired from practice and for
once he had actually avoided his
boyfriend and had left without
telling the ravenette.

Of course it hadn't taken long
for the first messages to pop up
on his phone, asking where he
was and if he was okay but the
blonde hadn't found the courage
to even read the messages.

There had been too much going
on inside his head and facing
Kuroo would have only fueled
this fire of destructive thoughts.

He knew that this wasn't fair.

His whole behavior, ignoring his
boyfriend for days now and
shutting everyone else out was
only hurting all the people
he cared for.

But he couldn't help it,
he was hurting too.

Kuroo had even tried to speak
to him in person, they were
neighbors after all.

But Kenma had only pulled his
blanket over himself, pretending
that he wasn't there when his
mother had asked him to come
down to speak to the ravenette.

It wasn't fair.

A soft sigh escaped the blonde as
he rested his chin on his bare knees
and watched the droplets dripping
from his wet hair create tiny

waves on the smooth surface.

Maybe if he just held his breath
long enough under water,
all his problems would disappear.

Just like him.

“Kenma, now.
I know the warm water is nice
but your dad needs to get ready.
He has the important dinner
with the colleagues from overseas
before they leave again, remember?”

“Right.”

The pudding head croaked softly
before he got up and grabbed his
fluffy towel to wrap it around
his body.

Looking at his bare body had
always made him a little bit
uncomfortable but since Friday
he couldn't see himself in the
mirror at all anymore.

Because whenever he'd stop to
stare just for a second too long,
his gaze would always wander
down to his midsection.

After falling sick a few weeks ago,
Kenma had often thought that he
looked a bit bloated lately.

But now he knew that there
was a different reason for it.

He knew why he'd wake up in
the early morning hours just to
puke his guts out and he could
officially call it morning sickness
in his head because that's
exactly what it was.

He could call his new obsession with
pudding chocolate a craving now.

But all of that didn't mean that he had
already accepted his new situation.

“Sweetie, how many times did I
tell you to blow dry your hair?

It's not summer anymore and
you've been sick just recently.”

His mother lectured him when
he shuffled in the kitchen, hair
still wet and the rest of his body
wrapped in a (Kuroo's) big hoodie,
sweatpants and fuzzy cat paw socks.

“Wait here and sit,
I'll be back in a second.”

She said before she disappeared,
leaving the boy alone with his
thoughts and indescribable anxiety.

His dad had left for the dinner so
it was just him and his mom now.

And he really needed to tell
someone because this burden was
slowly getting too heavy
to carry on his own.

The past two days had already felt
like he was close to drowning,
so desperately trying to stay at
the surface while his secret,
chained to his legs and pulling
him down, weighed heavier
with every passing minute.

He needed a lifebuoy,
someone to hold on who'd
stay and pull him out of this
raging sea that'd eventually
swallow him whole.

He needed his mom.

“You need to take better care
of yourself, sweetie. I won't
be there forever.”

She sighed as she returned with
a towel and spread it over his head
to carefully rub her son's hair dry.

Kenma only whined softly at the
rubbing motion but allowed his
mother to do whatever she wanted.

“Mom?”

“Hm?”

“There's something..
There's something I need to tell you.”

“I wondered when you'd say that.”

Of course she'd say that,
she knew Kenma for 17 years already.

He was an open book to her
and had always been.

“I think you should sit down.”

The pudding head whispered as
his gaze dropped to his hands in
his lap that have suddenly
become awfully interesting.

His mother immediately halted in
her actions at his words and dropped
the towel but still took a moment
to run her fingers through his hair
before she did what she
had been asked to.

The seriousness in his
voice scared her.

“What's going on?”

She asked softly,
her voice so gentle and warm that
it made Kenma tear up again.

His mother had always given her
best for him, she didn't deserve this.

And he was so scared of the look
of disappointment he'd see in a few
seconds after dropping the bomb.

“Mom, I.. I'm sorry..”

The blonde whispered,
the first tears rolling down
his cheeks as he clenched his fists.

“I'm sorry..
It was an accident..”

His soft crying had turned into

heavy sobbing but he hid his face
buried in his sweater paws,
too afraid to show his mother
the total mess he had become.

“Kenma.
What happened?”

God bless that woman's heart,
even now she was still so calm and
caring that it made her son
just cry even more.

He didn't deserve his mom.

“I..”

The boy jumped slightly when
he felt two warm hands on his,
taking them every so gently to
give them a soft squeeze.

And when he looked up,
his mother, his mom, his mama
was right there looking at him with
this comforting smile on her face
and her feline eyes displaying
nothing but worry.

“You can tell me anything.
You don't have to endure this alone.”

But only when she gave his
sweater paws another soft squeeze,
he inhaled heavily before he
managed to blurt out the words
that would change everything
forever.

“Mom, I'm pregnant.”

His big eyes were staring at her
in horror at his own words, tears
glistening in them as he waited
for a reaction, any sort of tiny
movement that'd tell him what
was going on inside her head.

But there wasn't any.

She was staring at him with
the same big, horror-filled eyes.

“Kenma..”

“I-I'm so sorry..”

The blonde cried when he felt
his hands getting squeezed again
before his mother let go to
pull him into a tight hug.

“Shh.. It's okay.”

She whispered as she rocked
him softly and held his head,
allowing the boy to cry
into her shoulder.

“It's okay, sweetie.
I'm here for you.”

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