chapter 4
"christopher"

it's been nearly a month since me and dejah talked since we had that conversation in the janitors closet. she hasn't really been in classes since she's been bunking with jude fucking cunningham. he's such a fucking dick. i wish he never came to this school. i wish he never met dejah. i just wish he'd disappear. anyways, she's not been sitting with us at break and lunch because she's been sitting with jude. she hasn't been replying to me, and she's been giving matt and nick dry responses. she still talks to liv and abbie all the time, it's like jude has her in a trance or something. oh and i forgot to mention the fact that they're now dating, and that's why she's been blowing us all off all the fucking time.

seeing them together just makes me angry. it's not because i like her or anything it's just that she deserves someone better like.. someone.. well, someone like me i guess. obviously not me but someone like me who can actually treat her right. he keeps smirking at me in the hallways when he's got his arm around her like he's showing her off to me or something. she doesn't even wear the beats anymore, wouldn't be surprised is lover boy judey wudey bought her new ones and she threw mine away. it's like she's forgotten about me, about matt, about nick. i miss her. i never really had her, but i still miss her.

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"chris are you even fucking listening to me?" says liv, snapping him out of his thoughts. he had been staring at dejah and jude for the last 6 minutes and it was annoying liv.

chris shakes his head slightly, trying to snap himself back to reality. he looks at liv and raises his eyebrow as to say 'say it again, i'm listening'

liv groans, "i said, are you coming round to dejahs house on saturday? she's invited everyone." she says, tapping her finger on the table in front of them as she's had to re explain the same sentence about 10 times as chris wouldn't listen to her.

chris lights up when she spoke, but looks back at dejah who laughs with jude and he looks back at liv, "is that fucker coming?"

"no, jude's not coming." she speaks. chris grins to himself that she knew who 'that fucker' was without even saying his name, she just knew. "she wants to hang out with everyone without jude because she's been hanging out with him a lot."

chris laughs in amusement. she had completely blown everyone off and ignored everyone and now all of a sudden she wants to hang out? he knew that he was gonna go regardless of jude being there or not, because then that would give him an excuse to punch the shit out of him when he turns into a dick. "yeah, i guess i'll come"

liv smiles and turns to abbie to start conversation with her. chris glances over at dejah once more to find her already looking at him but when they make eye contact she looks away quickly. she was staring at me first? hm, interesting. she turned back to face jude, and pulled him in for a short peck on the lips.

the bell rings, alerting everyone to start making their way to class. chris doesn't get up at first, he watches to see if dejah was going to bunk yet another class with jude, but when he sees that she doesn't follow jude and instead she's making her way to her next class, he gets up immediately. they were both in the next class and he was excited to see her face again. he trudged his way through the crowds of people to get to his next class, which for once, he was somewhat excited for but he didn't know why. ⁽ˡᵉᵗˢ ᵇᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡ ʰᵉ ᵈᵒᵉˢ⁾

when he walks into the classroom, he scans his eyes around to find an empty seat that he can sit in. he almost gives up as he can't find one, but stops once his eyes focus on the only empy seat. next to dejah. well, this is bound to be fun!

he walks slowly towards the seat, and dejah hasn't noticed him yet but he finally sits down next to her, alerting her of his presence. when he sits down, she doesn't roll her eyes or scoff like she probably would of done if this would of happened a few months ago, instead she just glances at him, and looks away. weird. chris didn't know if he should try talk to her or not, or if he should stay silent.

the teacher begins the class, putting a task on the board for them to start which chris begins to do. he looks over at dejahs book which is still empy so he faces her, seeing zero interest in this class at all. "you have to subtract it by 2 by the way" he whispers, assuming she just doesn't understand the work as she's skipped every class for the last month. dejah looks at chris and she shrugs her shoulders. she didn't even try and attempt the question at all, she may as well of just skipped this class too.

"so.." he says, trying to fill the extremely awkward tension that was in the air, "you're inviting us all to your house?"

dejah whips her head around to face chris as he speaks. she nods slightly, "yeah, i'll message you the ti-"

"i think we should talk.. you know, at your place."

dejah pauses, not even finishing her sentence. she furrows her eyebrows and looks at the ceiling as if she's thinking about what chris had just said, "about what?" she says, confused. there was nothing to talk about as she was completely fine with her life with her perfect boyfriend and her amazing friends.

chris rolls his eyes. she was always playing dumb in front of him as if he hasn't know her all his life and that he could read her like a book, "i think we should just talk. about everything" he says, resting his head on his palm, "i miss having you around at our table and in classes. you're just always with jude."

"what is your problem with jude? you're always talking about him. it's like your obsessed or something" she snaps back. she was getting fed up of chris always having something to say about jude, whether it was snarky comments or saying he's trouble. not only that, but dirty looks in the halls.

chris laughs, he is shocked that she really thinks that he would ever be obsessed with jude "that's hilarious that you think that dejah. and my problem, is that he's taken you away from everyone and has completely turned you into a bad person. before, you wouldn't of dreamed of skipping even a few minutes of class, now your skipping every class, even sometimes school? that's my fucking problem" he explains. his hands were balled into a fist and was sort of shouting which got most of the classes attention as they all look at the pair bickering. dejah glared at him, but she couldn't say anything. he was right, and she knew that he was right. she just didn't want to admit it, especially not to chris.

"fuck you chris. genuinely, fuck you. you led me on all throughout middle school and when i finally find someone who i'm happy with, you want to ruin that too. so go fuck your self christopher." she shouts, grabbing her bags, standing up and leaving the classroom in a hurry. the whole class stared at chris who sits there in silence and disbelief. he had no idea what she was talking about, as he didn't remember ever having anything to do with leading her on in middle school? the use of his full name meant that something was seriously wrong. she has never referred to him as christopher, so her using it in an argument clearly means something.

chris didn't understand why that every time he tried to talk to her, it would always end up in an argument. it's like the universe is trying to pull them apart and make everything wrong for them. he never means for it to turn into an argument, that's the last thing that he wants, but somehow it always happens.

all these questions being un answered was bothering him, and people staring at him and whispering wasn't helping. he tried to ignore them all and play it off, but he couldn't. he needed to know more. and he couldn't wait until saturday at her house, he needed to know now. he watches the teacher as she sent an email to the principal to find dejah and send her back to class, so he knew that if he got up and ran after her, he would be in big trouble. but fuck it, he had to get answers. so with that, he stood up and exited the class, running quickly down the halls to try and find where she ran off too. he checked every empty classroom, the library and pretty much every secret skipping area but still no sign of dejah, chris was feeling helpless until he walked past the doors leading to the gates outside, where he saw someone standing there on their phone. he couldn't quite make out if it was dejah or not, but he had nothing to loose, so he went to go check.

he walked towards the mystery girl and as he got closer, it became apparent to chris that it was 100% dejah. she was crying, texting someone frantically on her phone. it was raining, badly raining. her full head of hair was drenched, along with her clothes. the rain dropped harshly on chris' shoulders and the rain dripped from his hair onto his face prompting him to wipe it away. he finally made it next to dejah and his sudden presence scared her a little bit. "you're her-" she says, stopping once she faces him. "you're not jude. you're chris, and i really, really, really don't want to talk to you right now chris."

chris nods in an understanding manner. he was the last person that she wanted to talk to right now, which chris didn't blame her for. the air was thick with tension as unresolved issues lingered between them like unspoken words. "i know. and i'm sorry. i'm just confused more than anything, i mean those things you said back there-"

"forget what i said back there chris. just forget it!" she exclaimed, her eyes ablaze with anger. "just go away."

chris sighed, running a hand through his drenched hair, "you need to stop doing this dejah. you can't keep running away from me and putting important discussions on hold all the time. you lash out and say things to me, and when i want answers you run away." he says, seriousness clear in his eyes. "all i'm asking from you, is that you talk to me? talk to me please because i feel like i'm behind closed doors to everything."

the words that left chris' mouth left a wound in her heart that went deeper than the surface of their disagreement, "the fact that you put me through so much pain, and you can't even remember, or so you say that you can't remember it says a lot about you. so yeah, sorry for inconveniencing you so much chris."

chris starts to breath heavily, a lump forming in his throat. he started to pace the ground slowly, scratching the back of his neck. the pair of them became silent and chris wants to say so much more, but he can't find the words, "what pain did i put you through. i'm so incredibly sorry if i did, but it was so many years ago, and you know how badly i forget things dejah? if you just tell me then i can fix things, okay, i can fix it-"

"you can't fix the past chris. it's done with. i'm happy with the people that i'm surrounded with currently." she says, fighting back the tears that have been forming this entire conversation. chris tucked a wet strand of hair behind her ear and she looks up at chris with glassy eyes, when she blinked a tear rolled down her cheek. chris dragged his thumb down her cheek to wipe the tear away before pulling her in for a hug, squeezing her tight. dejah had no idea how much chris needed a hug right now, but not just any hug, a dejah hug.

"i'm so sorry. i never meant to put you through pain, i'm sorry dejah. i'm just.. so sorry. you don't have to explain anything to me just yet if you're not comfortable." he whispers, pulling her away. he remained the eye contact and dejah began to giggle. if she didn't laugh, she'd cry, and she's rather laugh then cry right now.

"thanks chris, for understanding." she says, noticing jude walking towards them in the distance, "you should probably go, jude's here."

chris turns his head around quickly, making eye contact with jude, and he didn't look happy. in fact, he looked back at chris with anger present in his eyes.

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maisie
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idk if u guys r gonna be excited or scared for the next chapter because i have a lot of plans for it 🥰🥰

ly guys sm 🤗