chapter 28
"brotherly love"

"it's been a whole month without you, chris." begins nick, sitting on the slightly wet grass beside his gravestone. "you were more than just my brother. you were.. my best friend. from the moment we were born, i knew i had someone special in my life."

a slight smile tugged at nicks lips as he recalled memories that now felt like distant dreams. "you had this way of making everything an adventure. i remember this one time when we were kids, and you had convinced me and matt to explore the woods behind our old house. we would spend hours getting lost, and then you would find our way back like it was the easiest thing in the world."

nicks voice faltered for a moment, the weight of the loss pressing down on him. "you were always there for me, and anyone who needed you. you had a big heart that was too big for this world, and maybe that's why you left us. but i know you're still with us, guiding us, just like how you always used to do."

nick leaned back, his shoulders slumping slightly as he adjusted himself in his seated position. there was a moment of silence before matt began to talk.

matts expression was a mix of sorrow and anger, emotions battling for dominance. his hands gripped onto the grass beside him as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded.

"chris." matts voice cracked, and he took a deep breath, steadying himself. "you were the type of person who would drive me crazy one second and then make me laugh the next. you were always pushing my boundaries, always testing limits. but that was just you."

matt's gaze dropped to his gravestone, his voice  becoming softer. "you were reckless, and yeah, sometimes it scared the shit out of us. but that's what i envied about you the most, the fact that you wasn't afraid about anything and that you would do anything to protect your family and friends."

nick could see that matt was about cry, so he grabbed his shoulder, "chris wouldn't want us to be sad. he'd want us to remember him with a smile, to live our lives with the same passion he had."

with that, matt wiped away at his eyes using his sleeve so the tears wouldn't spill over. the two brothers sat in silence, side by side, united in their grief and their love for the brother they had lost.

middle school

nick had locked himself in his schools bathroom, trying to hide away from these two boys who were constantly making fun of nick. he was frantically typing away to matt and chris for help once they could hear the boys enter the bathroom.

"we know you're in here, nick. just come out" one of the boy laughs, banging hard on each closed stall. nick was standing on the toilet so they couldn't see his legs below the door. he was just hoping for matt and chris' help as soon as possible, but neither of them had seen the message yet.

as more time passed, everyone else in the bathroom had left their stalls and left the bathroom completely, leaving only one door that was closed. the other boy banged hard on nicks door, "we know you're in there, fairy boy" sniggered one of the boys.

nick frantically checks his phone and sees that matt had replied, saying he was on his way. relief was let out with a sigh, "just leave me alone!" he shouts, earning laughter from the pair of bullies.

"now, why would we do that, freak" he says, grabbing his left over tuna sandwich from his lunchbox, throwing it over the door hitting nick in the face, "hope you like fish."

the two boys laughter soon stops when matt bursts through the bathroom, tackling one of the boys to the ground, "get off me!" he shouts, getting a few blows to the face from matt.

the other boy grips onto matt, throwing him to the ground. he gets on top of him, holding his arms out to the floor so he can't move, "you really thought you could come in here and try to fight us? not a chance" he says, about to throw a punch but immediately getting stopped by chris.

chris had come into the bathroom with his lacrosse stick, hitting the guy that was on top of matt. he falls to the ground, putting his hands on his head to try and soothe the pain.

the other boy that was previously on the floor due to matt tackling him, now had his arms in the air, "i'm sorry man, we won't go near your brothers again." he trembles, looking at chris who is waving his lacrosse stick around.

chris turns his attention towards the trembling boy on the floor. he begins to walk closer to him, making the boy flinch, "if you ever come near nick or matt again. i'll fucking kill you with this lacrosse stick. you hear me?"

the boy nods and struggles to get up. he helps his friend up and they both run out of the bathroom. nick comes out of the stalk to see chris and matt hugging, "thanks man, i probably would've gotten my ass beat" he laughs, looking behind chris' shoulder to see nick walking towards them.

"thank you chris. you didn't have to do all that." he smiles, "and you matt. thank you."

chris chuckles to himself, "are you kidding me? of course i had to do all that. people can't just bully you and get away with it. they won't ever come near you again and if they do they know what's coming for them." he turns around to face matt, "and you. they won't touch you again either."

nick pulls chris in for a big hug. he respected chris for everything he did for his family, it was brave and a quality that everyone should have.

the drive back to their house was quiet, each brother lost in thought. the house, once filled with life and laughter, now felt unbearably empty. the absence of chris was a gaping hole that neither of them knew how to fill.

as they walked through the door, the house was filled with their friends, yet it was still so quiet and something was missing, someone was missing.

the familiar creaks of the old floorboards seemed louder, the echoe of their footsteps haunting.

nate was looking through his old photos of when him and chris were together. a particular photo stuck out to him. they were at nate's and dejah's old beach house for the summer and abbie had taken that photo for them. chris was on the right. his eyes were closed and his mouth was wide open pulling a funny face, while nate's arm was wrapped around him, throwing a peace sign towards the camera. that whole summer was a core memory for him, but that picture reminded nate of a memory that he still thinks about to this day. right after that picture was taken, chris took the dr pepper (that was in that photo) and opened it to take a sip but it exploded everywhere as nick had previously shaken it. it blew right into chris' face and dripped all over the floor. the whole house filled with laughter, especially chris. chris was laughing the most despite him being dripping in dr pepper. to make matters worse, chris stood up to take a shower to get rid of the sticky feeling that was lingering on his body, and he slipped and fell over the spillage on the floor. hearing chris' roar of laughter filled the whole beach house a sense of comfort and fun.

nate smiles at his phone, looking up at nick and matt who had just entered the house. "i miss him so much." sighs nate.

"yeah" replies liv, her voice heavy, "me too."

they all sat there for a while, lost in their memories, before dejah finally spoke up. "we need to do something. we can't just sit here and let grief consume us. chris wouldn't want that."

nick nods, "you're right. but what can we do?how do we move forward without him?"

dejah sighed, running a hand through her hair, "i don't know. but we have to try. maybe.." she begins, struggling to think on what to do.

nate wants to suggest something but he feels like he can't, "how about we.." he begins, giving up. "nevermind."

everyone brushes off what nate was about to say apart from liv, "no, say what you were gonna say nate?"

nate giggles and pulls out his phone, showing everyone all the photos he had of their beach house, "i was looking at theses earlier and i was thinking.. we could go back to the beach house and spend this summer there?"

previous beach house pictures:

"i know how much chris enjoyed that beach house and how much he looked forward to going there every summer and maybe we could.. i dunno. maybe we could set some of our memories of him into a bottle and send it off into the sea?" he suggests. the whole group looks around the room, everyone silently agreeing.

"wait.." begins dejah, "didn't we sell that house?"

nate shrugs his shoulders, "well, let's hope that they new owners are willing to let us rent it out for this summer."

the decision was set in stone as everyone agreed on spending their summer at the beach house and at the very end of their last ever stay in that house they were going to send bottles into the ocean including their favourite memories of chris.

¹⁶³⁰ ʷᵒʳᵈˢ

maisie
💌

i have a love, hate relationship with writing sad things like this!! (pray for me (:  )

i thought writing dialogue for dejahs grief was gonna be hard but matt and nick?? hell nah that was difficult 😭😭 (hopefully it wasn't too sad)