𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚘 𝚁𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚎'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

☞ 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 4𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 1996

I disenchanted the spell of invisibility that concealed me from unwanted eyes. I found myself in the restricted section again, walking along the aisle of books as old as time. My hands latched around the familiar black book, engraved with a small gold leaf she once showed me.

As the walls opened, revealing the garden paradise hidden in this corner of the castle. Walking into the room, finding myself alone with the statue and twisting trees and flourishing flora. Walking further into the room, I slowly walk around, my eyes scraping across the scenery before me. The suspension was killing me.

I invited her here, the girl clouding my mind with mysteries both pure and lustrous. No woman has ever captured my attention the way she has. Maybe that's because she's always been the one my eyes can't seem to pull away from, ever since-

"Hello?" A small voice called out from behind me, startling me. She came. Y/n Snape is here. What does this mean? Is there hope after all? I've yet to string together a single sentence or structure a plan that would explain my actions these past few weeks.

"I'm here." I spoke, revealing myself from behind the statue. There she stood, wrapped up warm in her winter Slytherin uniform, her cheeks rosy from the cold air. She must've just come from outside.

"Hello." She spoke quietly, her eyes looking directly into mine. My heart strained to watch her stiff, uncomfortable stance. "Get on with it, Riddle." She huffed, her arms crossing over her chest. I sighed.

"Right..." I guess I'll have to begin. This conversation might be the hardest I'll ever face. "I have absolutely no idea who or what attacked your father." I began, although the roll of her eyes told me she did not believe me. "But, I shall not lie to you and say that there is no possibility that my father didn't have an involvement with this." I added, stepping towards the girl, hoping to make her see my sincerity.

"What does that mean?" She frowned, her brows furrowed slightly. I sighed once more, the deep sinking feeling rising in my chest. The mention of my father leaves a distaste in my mouth.

"It means, my father is an incredibly powerful yet deranged man. To say there's no chance he had nothing to do with this would be very foolish." I frowned, thinking back to the state Professor Snape is currently in. He's bed-bound, showing no signs of recovery, the red marks on his face becoming more prominent.

"What do I do?" Y/n sighed, falling to the floor, crossing her legs as her head fell into the palms of her hands. "If you're saying it might not be Voldemort, then what else." Her voice broke, muffled by her hands.

"It's hard to say..." The words fell quietly from my mouth. I decided to take a seat opposite the girl. Y/n finally looked at me when noticing me taking a seat. Her eyes examined me with much suspicion that it hurt to see her be so weary of me.

"Why do you hate me?" She frowned, her eyes beginning to swell with tears. Confused, I began to protest, stating that I did not hate her. She shook her head. "You do. All of you do. I can see it in your eyes. I thought we were finally getting along. I thought you all were becoming less of the big-headed dick you once were. I thought we were friends." Tears slowly ran down her cheeks, falling gracefully onto the stone floor.

I sighed. Knowing that if anyone was to find out I told her, I'd be meeting my grave sooner than anticipated. "We don't hate you, Y/n. We hate ourselves for how we've been treating you. You were precious to all of us. You are still precious to us." I gave her a weak smile, the pain in my chest as I spoke my mind struck me hard. I'm not used to showing this much vulnerability, despite it not being the first time I've been vulnerable around Y/n. Why is this time different?

"What changed? Did I do something to drive you all, and Astoria, away?" Y/n cried more as she stuttered on some syllables. Once more I shook my head, my brain yelling, screaming at me to keep my mouth shut. Yet my heart was calling out, not to me, to her.

"Pansy told our family that we had been spending more time with you. Usually, this wouldn't be an issue but she exaggerated and made it seem we were... neglecting our studies... in favour of spending time with you. So myself, Draco, Blaise, Theo and Astoria have been forced to distance ourselves from you." Y/n sat quietly, mulling over my words. I held my breath, hoping she'd buy the little white lie I tossed in with the truth.

"But Astoria and I have been best friends since before we could walk! Why would her parents force her to stay away from me? They know me, they treat me like their own daughter." She huffed, growing frustrated.

"You know how purebloods are. Studying and obtaining perfect scores are more important than anything else." I chuckled lightly, a pathetic attempt at lighting the mood. To no avail. Y/n gave me an unamused look that could rival her father's.

"I suppose... I am pretty high on Voldemort's list of next victims." Y/n rolled her eyes as she began to pick at the skin beside her fingernails. She instantly pulled up lines of skin until a speck of blood seeped out. Strange. "Riddle?" Y/n said after a moment of silence. I looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. "I've missed spending time with you." Y/n sent me a small smile, before quickly standing. "Thank you for this, but I must leave."

I nodded, an ache in my heart forming knowing this may be the last time either of us could be civil towards each other. She began to leave, her hair gracefully swaying with each step. Then she stopped. "Riddle. If you're interested in... breaking more rules... I'll be happy to meet here again. Perhaps you could bring company." Y/n smirked, a small twinkle forming in her beautiful eyes.

I beamed, my heart began beating back to life. "Perhaps I will, Snape." I chuckled, bringing myself to my feet. I felt my body relax as I leaned back, my hands finding solitude in my pockets. Y/n nodded, a smile fighting to shine on her face. As she walked away, I called out to her one last time, "Hey! Don't be a stranger." Then she was out of sight.

This walk back to the common room is excruciatingly lonely. No one was in the corridors. No sound could be heard. No smell was filling the air. It was as if any sense that made me human would leave when she wasn't around. Strange.

"Where have you been, Matts!" Pansy huffed as I pushed off the last step into the common room. I rolled my eyes, not wanting to deal with her eye-watering voice again. Perhaps that was too harsh.

"None of your business, Parkinson." I groaned, throwing myself on the sofa beside Theo. I noticed him taking a drag from a cigarette. I nodded my head towards the burning stick, hoping he'd get the message. Theo rolled his eyes playfully before passing me the cigarette. A sigh of relief passed through me like a soul escaping to heaven when the burning sensation swallowed my throat and filled my lungs. My brain instantly mellowed, as though the toxic fumes were oxygen to my body and I finally took a breath.

"Of course, it's my business! It's my job to make sure you aren't getting distracted and focusing on the task." Parkinson droned on. My hands balled into fists, her constant mine teeing and belittling statements finally caught up to me. Merlin so help me otherwise this girl will never utter another ear-bleeding word again.

"What do you think I was doing, genius?" I spat out, making Parkinson take a step backwards, finally shutting her trap. I passed the cigarette back to Theo. "I'm going to bed."

"Hang on! You're meant to give me a detailed report of your day!" Parkinson began to chase after me, stepping in my way between this room and the stairway to the dormitories.

"To help with you Parkinson. Go munch my father's dick from behind the next time you suck up to him by snitching on us." I spat in her face, meaning she screamed in disgust. I shoved the girl out of my way, marching up the stairs.

I collapsed on my bed, my hands finding my forehead. Soon the boys came stumbling in like a herd of wild horses. "What the bloody hell, Mattheo!" Draco began, followed by the others with their own remarks of profanities. In response, all I could do was smile.

Theo pointed at me and my grin, shutting the other two up quickly. They stood in pure confusion, taking their time to examine and process the situation. "What the- he's lost it. The prick is smiling! He's officially lost his mind and is now a certified psychopath!" Blaise began to stress, waving his arms around like a drowning first year.

"I saw her today. She doesn't hate us. She wants to see me again, see us again!" I exclaimed, pulling myself out of bed and I paced the room. My body felt light, my mind felt free.

"I'm sorry... what." Theo pulled me harshly towards them, his expression filled with anger yet hope. "You went against your father's wishes! That was extremely selfish, you are risking us all by doing that!" Theo yelled, his face going red. "So next time you decide to do something so obliviously stupid, don't leave us out. You're not the only one missing her." Theo's anger washed into a soft smile as they all beamed at me.

Despite how annoying these pricks may be, I'm so fucking lucky to have them. I hope no one knows I thought that...