~•~

Gwendolyn sat on Neil's bed, across from Todd, a notepad settled in her lap and a pen stuck behind her ear. She watched as Todd wrote, sometimes scribbling furiously and occasionally ripping the page out.

She blew out a breath as Todd ripped his...fourth piece of paper and crumpled it up, putting it near the others on his bed.

"I'm sure what you've written is fine Todd. Maybe you can let me read some of it?" She pressured, a hopeful look on her face.

"No." Todd said, the singular syllable dropping like a hundred bricks.

"Fine. Be stubborn." She sighed and jumped slightly as Neil came rushing into the dorm, smiling like he'd won the lottery.

"I found it."

"Found what?" Todd asked, grabbing the sheet of paper Neil handed him.

"What I wanna do right now. What's really inside of me."

"And what's that?" Gwendolyn drawled, catching Neil's attention.

"And what are you doing on my bed? You and Todd aren't getting up to anything are you?" Todd choked, Gwendolyn flushed.

"Unless you count me watching Todd rip sheets of paper out of his notepad as "getting up to anything" then no."

"A Midsummer Night's Dream?" Todd asked no one in particular.

"What?!" Gwendolyn screeched, rushing over and grabbing the paper out of Todd's hands, "No way!"

"What is it?" Todd questioned.

Gwendolyn looked at him, mouth unhinged, "You're not serious!"

"It's a play dummy." Neil laughed in Todd's direction.

"I know that. What does it have to do with you?"

"Alright they're putting it on at Henley Hall. Open tryouts."

Gwendolyn's eyes almost popped out of her skull, "Open. Tryouts?! You're gonna—"

"I'm gonna act!" He climbed up onto the bed. Gwendolyn nearly screamed, "Yes, yes I'm gonna be an actor!" He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders, "Ever since I can remember I've wanted to try this! I even tried to go to summer stock auditions last year, but of course my father wouldn't let me. For the first time in my whole life, I know what I wanna do." Neil had moved around the room, standing atop various things.

Gwendolyn fell back onto Neil's bed, hair splaying out everywhere.

"And for the first time...I'm gonna do it!" He threw papers in the air, "Whether my father wants me to or not. Carpe diem!"

"Carpe diem!" Gwendolyn yelled cheerfully.

"Neil hold on." Todd was starting to reorganize his papers, "How are you gonna be in a play if your father won't let you?"

"First I gotta get the part, then I can worry about that."

"Won't he kill you if he finds out you went to an audition and didn't tell him?"

"As far as I'm concerned, he's not gonna know anything about this."

Todd hesitated, "That's impossible."

"Bullshit! Nothing's impossible."

Gwendolyn spoke up, "I agree with you on that but...why don't you just call him and ask, maybe he'll say yes."

Neil turned around and snorted, "That's a laugh. At least if I don't ask him, I won't be disobeying him."

"Yeah...but if he said no—" Todd started.

"Jesus, who's side are you both on?!" Neil shouted angrily. Todd flinched as well as Gwendolyn. Neil sighed and gently took the paper from Gwendolyn, hitting himself for how hurt she looked, "I mean...I haven't even gotten the part yet. Can't I enjoy the idea for a little while?" I sat on the windowsill.

"Of course." Gwendolyn said, a little distantly, "We're on your side Neil..." Todd sat in silence. He grabbed his notepad and began to write again.

"You're coming to the meeting this afternoon Todd?" Neil broke the uncomfortable silence that stretched on for much too long.

"I don't know maybe."

"Like hell you're not." Gwendolyn stood from the bed, "Does nothing my father say mean anything to you...does anything I say?" She looked hurt.

Todd was plain confused, "What does that mean?"

Neil pushed himself off the windowsill, "You're in the club! Being in the club means being stirred up by things. You look about as stirred up as a cesspool."

"So you want me out?"

"No, that's not what Neil said. He wants you in. I want you in. But...Todd you have to do something. Even if it's just a little thing. Carpe diem Todd." She said, her eyes wide.

"You can't just say you're in." Neil added.

"I appreciate the concern Gwen, I really do." He looked at her sincerely, "but I'm not like you, and I'm not like you either Neil, alright. You say things and people listen." He gestured to Neil, "and-and you can not care about what other people think so easily," he said to Gwendolyn, "and...I'm...not like that."

"But don't you think you could be? I think so." Gwendolyn pressed, now sitting at the end of Todd's bed.

Todd looked at her, "No-no I—that's not the point the-the point is that there's nothing you two can do about it. So you can just butt out. I can take care of myself just fine."

Gwendolyn brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her hands around them, silent. Neil leaned against the wall, silent like Gwendolyn. A scowl formed on her face, she was lost in thought. Suddenly she shook her head and spoke shocking both Todd and Neil, "No." she said a cheeky smile pulling at her lips.

Todd glanced up from his notepad, confused, "Wha-what do you mean "no"?"

Neil was now smiling, catching what Gwendolyn was doing, "No. Just no." Suddenly, Neil threw his paper in Todd's lap and grabbed his notepad, stealing it from Todd and took off.

"Give me—! Neil give that back!" Todd came after him, chasing Neil around the room in circles, climbing atop the various flat surfaces.

"What is this? "We are dreaming of a—" Is-is this poetry?! Is it for Gwen?! Ah! Ok not for Gwen! Hey! Help me Gwen, I'm being chased by Walt Whitman!" He yelled attempting to jump over Gwendolyn who ducked down, cradling her head.

"I'm about to be crushed by Walt Whitman and his best friend! Neil! Let me see! I wanna read it too!" Gwendolyn stood and started to follow Neil and Todd who were still going around the room.

"No!" Todd yelled.

Cameron opened the door and stormed in, "What are you guys doing? I'm trying—you see this chemistry?" He hit the sheets of paper, within the book, trying to show Neil who ran past.

Gwendolyn jumped down from the table, "Oh boo chemistry!" She tore it out of his hands and hopped up on Todd's bed.

"Hey—give me—Gwendolyn come on! Don't be immature. I need my—" he began to chase Gwendolyn. Now, all four teens were going in circles. Todd trying to catch Neil, Cameron trying to catch Gwendolyn.

"Hey Ribbon! Pass that over here!" Charlie yelled. Gwendolyn threw the book, Charlie caught it and passed it to Todd who threw it to Gwendolyn. Charlie and Neil danced around in circles, Neil playing the flute and Charlie drumming on the bongos while Gwendolyn and Todd were having a game of "monkey in the middle" with Cameron who was furiously trying to catch his chemistry homework.

Todd caught Gwendolyn's eye for a moment, staring at her laughing, breathless, her hair coming out of her ponytail and the ribbon lopsided. Her cheeks held a rosy flush and her smile lit his heart on fire.

That's the moment he realized that Gwendolyn Keating was truly beautiful, and that he couldn't even dream of a chance to be with her.

***

Gwendolyn sat on the grass underneath a vibrant red maple tree, her legs tucked up underneath her and a trig assignment on her thighs. Gwendolyn, however, wasn't focusing on the trig assignment. She was enraptured by the outdoor scene in front of her. It was times that these that she was reminded of a painful experience that she would never forget. She fought back tears, as she twisted the white ribbon on her wrist, careful not to tug at it too hard.

Fall always reminded Gwendolyn of her.

She quickly blinked away the water threatening to spill when she saw Todd walking around the courtyard in her direction. He was looking down with one hand in his pocket and the other holding an open notepad. Todd didn't notice Gwendolyn until he almost passed her completely.

"Hi Todd." Gwendolyn smiled, her voice sounded weird.

Todd jumped a little bit looked up nonetheless, "Hi." He mumbled, cleared his throat and said, "What are you doing?"

"Oh just trig." She gestured to the everything on her legs, "Well...trying to do trig...I find I can't focus now. It's too beautiful outside." She grinned at the sunny sky.

Todd glanced up at the cloudless sky, taking his hand out of his pocket to shield his eyes from the sun, "I like winter more."

"Winter's alright. It's when my birthday is...do you wanna sit?" She patted the grass beside.

The loud voice in his head screamed "no!" but there was a quieter one that whispered "yes". So, straightening up, he sat down beside her. The pair enjoyed a soft silence, not quite suffocating or awkward but a quaint, comfortable silence.

"Do you enjoy silences Todd?" Gwen whispered, making his body shiver, "Or do you prefer a bit of noise?" He thought about lying, saying he adored noise, or, saying nothing at all. Sometimes saying nothing was better, but with Gwendolyn, he thought that wouldn't be the case.

"Well...I..." Todd whispered back, trailing off and letting his words fade into the void. He thought of telling her something like, "I like silences, but not the ones that feel like a thick, wet, blanket is pressing in around your airways, the ones that you feel comfortable in and can breathe easily. I can deal with a bit of noise, but I hate it. It makes my ears hurt and my head spin. Noise scares me...not all of it though. I like the sound of nature, like bird-calls, rain storms, leaves rustling, snow crunching beneath your boots. I like sounds that repeat like the ticking of a clock or the hum of heater, stuff that others would find annoying. The noises I hate most are people talking. It makes me nervous, especially when there's numerous people because they could be talking about me and how odd I am. I hate peoples voices, except your voice. Your voice is beautiful and I could listen to you for hours and I would never hate it."

Todd had stopped his mental ramble and was met with more silence.

"Me too." Gwendolyn said simply.

Todd wondered if she could somehow read minds. It would be much easier that way...

***

"Now devotees may argue that one sport or game is inherently better than another." Mr. Keating said, carrying a net full of balls.

(A/N: Yes. Haha. Get it out of your systems and get your mind of the gutter.)

"For me, sport is actually a chance for us to have other human beings push us to excel!" Gwendolyn tied her hair into a ponytail, being careful not to accidentally tug the ribbon also taking residence within her tresses. She held a small frown. She had never enjoyed sports, not as much as her father had. She wasn't all too athletic and rather preferred sitting down and scratching little bits of poetry in the margins of her notebooks.

"I want you all to come over here and take a slip of paper and line up single file." He dropped the netted bag onto the grass, handing Meeks his slip of paper, "Mr Meeks, time to inherit the earth. Mr. Pitts, rise above your name." He gave Pitts his paper, "And Miss Keating," he smiled gleefully, "wipe that look of devastation off your face."

"Why of course Mr. Keating."

***

The sharp sound of whistle pierced through the field, "You know what to do Pitts!" Mr. Keating yelled. Gwendolyn inhaled deeply, knowing that she was next. She would have no trouble saying the line on the paper, it's the kicking the ball and not killing anyone in the process that she was worried about.

"O to struggle against great odds, to meet enemies undaunted."

"Sounds to me like you're daunted! Say it like you're undaunted!"

Pitts repeated the line again with more enthusiasm and at a louder volume. Running forward with great speed, Pitts gave the ball a sharp kick.

"Alright Gwen you're next!" Mr. Keating shouted.

Gwendolyn wiped the clammy hand not holding the paper on her dark grey, long sleeve shirt. The one embellished with little white birds flying all over that she liked to wear on outdoor adventures, "To be a sailor of the world, bound for all ports!" She yelled aloud, mustering up as much volume as she could.

"Go on Gwen! Give it a real good kick!"

Gwendolyn stared at the ball, freezing up. She couldn't do this. She was going to hurt someone. That ball would go nowhere near the net...she could injure her father. Or she would completely miss it and fall flat on her back. She would trip before she even kicked it and would get a bloody nose...and they would all laugh at her, even Neil, even Todd.

"Go Ribbon!" She heard a voice shout, recognizing it immediately as Charlie's, "Go Ribbon! Go Ribbon!" He started chanting until another voice joined, Neil's and then another, much closer to her, Meeks. Knox joined in as well. She could even see Pitts cheering from his place beside her father.

"Go Ribbon, go Ribbon, go Ribbon!" The five boys cheered.

She could hear Todd's voice, just faintly, but it was definitely there. With a breath, she ran forward and kicked the ball as hard as she could. Even though it didn't go in the net, the five boys whooped and hollered as if she had scored a game winning goal.

Gwendolyn laughed, basking in the feeling.

***

Neil Perry ran through the halls, holding papers in his hands and screaming, "I got it! I got it!"

"Charlie I got the part!" He rammed on the door to Charlie and Cameron's dorm "I'm gonna play Puck! I'm gonna play Puck!" He told Pitts and Meeks.

"What did he say?" Pitts asked Meeks.

"Puck?" Knox asked.

"The main part!"

Knox gaped, "That's great Neil!"

"Charlie! I got it!" He made his way back to Charlie who had now opened the door. Cameron stood next to him.

"Congratulations!" Cameron said.

"Good for you Neil! Good for you!" Charlie clapped him on the back.

"Where's Gwen? I gotta tell her! She'll be so excited!" Neil looked around wildly. "Oh her dorm, duh. Be right back Todd!" He rushed down the hall, came up to Gwen's dormitory door and knocked on the door loudly. "Gwen!"

Gwendolyn opened the door, a look of confusion crossing her smooth features, "Neil?"

"I got the part!" Neil yelled, a little too loudly for a hallway at Welton.

Gwendolyn's jaw dropped and her eyes lit up in pure excitement, "You—what—no—you're-you're teasing me! You-you got Puck-like the Puck. Main character Puck, in a Midsummer Nights Dream?!" Neil bit his lip, smiling and nodded vigorously. Gwendolyn jumped, "Oh my goodness Neil! Congrats! That's wonderful!" Impulsively Gwendolyn threw her arms around Neil, who received her hug with warmth mixed in with the adrenaline of what he had recently found out. The two laughed, Neil swung her about which only made her laugh harder.

"Wait wait wait." Gwendolyn pulled away, keeping her hands firmly placed on his shoulders, "Your father. Are you going to tell him now that you've got the part?"

"No way! He'd never let me do it!"

"Neil..."

"Come on Gwen, listen," he began pulling her along back to his dorm, "I've got a plan." He led her into his dorm, surprising Todd. "Sorry I didn't give you enough time to get your hair fixed up Todd, but this is important." He sat down at the typewriter while Todd fumbled on Neil's bed. Gwendolyn laid beside him, leaning her arm up against Todd's shoulder. Todd throat dried up and his limbs froze at the closeness.

"I hope you don't mind." Gwendolyn said. Todd shook his head mutely. Neil smiled knowingly.

"Okay I need an acceptance letter from my father and Mr. Nolan." Neil said, readying the type writer.

Todd looked at him, "You're not gonna write it." He stated, just as Gwendolyn had spoke, "You're gonna write it?"

"Oh yes, I am."

"Neil, you're crazy." Todd tried to forget about the warmth seeping into the upper half of his left side.

"Okay, "I am writing to you,"" he spoke aloud as he typed, "on behalf of my son, Neil Perry."" He laughed, stomping his feet underneath the desk, "This is great."

Gwendolyn, however wasn't focused on Neil, she stared at the notebook next to the typewriter. She couldn't read the words, they were written too lightly. "Todd is that your poem?" She whispered too him.

Todd felt his cheeks heat, "Um...yeah...?"

Neil typed away at his typewriter mouthing words as he went along.

"Can I read it yet?" She asked, her lips inches away from touching his ear.

"No." His voice wavered.

"Why not."

"Because...it's not finished yet." It was a lie and he grimaced. He didn't want to lie to her.

"Okay." She sounded a little sad.

Todd stared at Neil's flying hands, thinking. She would surely point out everything wrong in his poem if he showed it to him.

He couldn't handle that...

***