a/n: please do be reminded that this isn't connected to the two chapters before this.

that is all for Sunghoon.

in order for you to not be confused, this one is following the Before Her Last Message.

just letting you know before some readers did not get it like to my other books even if the chapter title said alternate ending.

now let's get it on for my bias, Park Jay!

Love is a beautiful kind of fear.

One year ago, back to the time you were still not stepping into Bighit Academy, if someone were to say to you that you will choose the playboy who have gotten your first kiss, all you will respond is how ridiculous it was.

It was back in a bathtub from a farmhouse back in Nevada, Colorado, reading an Italian words aloud from a dictionary to a kid you were tutoring, that you first begun realized the person you think about is Jay.

In a way you understand it, your life had gone to bits through the years of hating your dad and you were so unrecognizable to yourself that you couldn't probably pinpoint when did you started to be full of hatred inside.

But you felt a glimmer of happiness when you started studying Italian and then you were delivered back to the time he first take you out on a date in an Italian restaurant.

When you sense a faint potentiality of missing a person after such a dark times of being homesick and regretting what you did in those last days with him, you must grab onto that ankle of happiness and not let go until it drags you face first out of your sadness.

This is not selfishness, but obligation. You were given a chance to love; it is your duty as a simple human to find something beautiful within life, no matter how scary it was in the first look.

And this morning after a whole year stuck between deciding and doubting it in the last minute, it found you sitting in the hotel room as you waited with your bags packed for Jay's inevitable arrival.

You were trying your best not to run off again and a part of you was always prepared for the chance your dad will send someone else other than Jay. If that happens, you needed to be ready to leave.

There was a knock on the door that had your eyes rooted to it. You stared at it for a moment, pondering over the likelihood that you'd be able to slip out if it's not the person you were hoping to see before rising to your feet.

Nevertheless, you were done running now. It's time to face this from now on.

Crossing the room with steady steps, you took one last moment to calm yourself before opening the door to reveal Jay on the other side.

He stood with his hands tucked onto his pockets, staring at the ground before him. The sound of the door had him looking up, his eyes scanning over each of your features and you took the opportunity to do the same.

He looked the same, but he had gone broader and bigger from his shoulder to his biceps. Though, you supposed he started going into the gym from the last time you've seen him.

Silently, you stepped aside to let him in and he did so after reluctantly pulling his eyes away from you. You shut the door behind him, pressing yourself to it and watching as he stepped into the room, eyes scouring your bags settled in the bed.

Jay stopped at the foot of the bed before he stopped to look at you and hesitated for a moment, as if unsure how to begin, "Your dad -"

And that was not the right way.

"I asked him for you", you cut in suddenly, meeting his eyes head on when his own faltered to meet your stare, "And you should understand what that meant. So don't be confused on why I called you to be here instead of Jake or Sunghoon"

He glanced away from you for a moment, unsure of what to say. Eventually, he murmured, "You finally acknowledged me as something else other than being your friend. You haven't done that since we stopped dating"

Smiling, you pushed away from the door to walk slowly around the room as you gathered the few things still scattered around the small place, "It's never too late to do better than the person I've been before when I'm still with you"

Jay chose not to respond to that but from the corner of your eye, you could still glimpse the beginning of a smile in his face.

"Is that all you have with you?", he smiled as he followed your movements with his eyes while you placed your things into your suitcase and zipped it up.

"I needed to travel light", you reminded him and he just sighed, "You know considering I've been venturing this old west of a county by myself alone"

"Right", he muttered quietly before looking at his watch, "We should probably go now to the airport before our service changed their mind and send someone in here"

"We need to check out first", you reminded him as he picked up your suitcase for you.

"Lead the way", Jay said, his eyes not level into your face but to the eye catching ring in your finger.

Silently you walked out of the hotel room knowing that he'd follow after you anyway. Once you reached the front desk and return your key, then it was finally your turn to say goodbye from this place that had been home to you in a year.

Jay walked a few paces in front of you after he walked you by the same black van you'd seen your stepsiblings used to follow you around here. And your company was still close enough to keep an eye on you in case you chose to run.

Reaching the van, he silently handed your suitcase to the waiting driver and wrapped an arm around your waist as he helped you to climb inside, into the seats.

As the van slowly drives away from Arizona to take you towards the airport, Jay looked towards you from his seat with a small smile and only then did you recognized the butterflies that erupt in the bit of your stomach.

For your heart's sake, it was good to see that smile again.

"You're really cute when you smiled like that", you said quietly.

"Why is that the first thing you would say to me after disappearing to me and making me feel like it's my fault?", Jay allowed himself to complain, voice trembling slightly as he crossed the space between the two of you.

"You're right, I'm sorry", you said as he reached out and took you in his arms, rocking you slightly from side to side, "I missed you"

"I missed you too", he murmured, squeezing you tight in his arms, reluctant to let you go again.

"I'm really, really sorry", you said with a wince, "After leaving like that as if I don't want to accept being arranged with you"

"No, it's alright now", he said, kissing you quickly in the lips, "It's alright now that you're here"

"Thank you", you said, leaning up to kiss him again, "I would never disappear on you again, I promise"

And that was your promise to yourself, that you would never let go of Jay again even if it comes with the scary reality of the wedding waiting for the two of you.

It's not like you couldn't wish for Jay to ask everyone to push it aside for now.

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The whole flight on the way back to SoKor went off without a hitch and by the time it takes down, you were more than overwhelmed how it feels like nothing had changed at all but what can you say?

It only had been a year but that whole year of you not being here is spent driving around Arizona or finding jobs to other cities with the help of Victoire who, just like you, never wanted to stay in the same place.

So looking now at the familiar buildings and attraction sites that Jay's car is passing by is so strange in your eyes.

Like it was the first time you'd been here and only had seen it in pictures.

When Jay finally stopped his car in front of a lawn and a house bigger than your dad's, he pulled you beside him as he passed his car keys to their valet waiting at the front door, you looked around curiously.

"We're in my parents house", Jay explained quietly, dropping his arm from around you and taking your suitcase, "You should probably hurry up, they're all waiting for you in the dining room"

You were stuck with following him as he led you through his home towards the dining room. When you reached the closed doors, he cleared his throat as if readying himself before knocking on the door.

Jay waited patiently but not calmly, he was fidgeting too much for that to be true, and when a voice told him to come in, his shoulders tensed before he pushed the doors open.

"Walk in first", he told you quietly, stepping aside.

You hesitated to do as told as you suddenly became aware of all the eyes that turned to the two of you and did not expect for your mom to be here.

Gathering what little courage you possesed, you took slow, measured steps into the room. The sounds of Jay's own footsteps following slowly after you had some of the tension easing out of you.

Your eyes centered onto the man sitting beside the others near the head of the table. Your dad rose from his seat suddenly and your steps came into a halt when he suddenly began to smile, as if he could forget your mistakes against him.

He didn't stop until he was right in front of you and even then, he reached out to take you in an embrace. You remained stiff in his arms, not really used to it as it had been so long. The last time he must've hugged you is back in your childhood times.

"You've finally came home, my princess", he said, the words loud and intended to draw a reaction from you.

"This isn't my home", you spoke finally, looking to the table where Jay's parents is seated side by side as they smiled warmly, "This is the Park family's home"

"Of course", your dad agreed while maintaining a cautious smile around you before turning to the others, "But it would be your home as well if you marry their son, so what are you doing Mr. and Mrs. Park, won't you welcome your future daughter in law?"

And just like that, Jay's parents is standing now from their feet before the wife is pulling you into a hug and you turned suddenly towards Jay, meeting his eyes and shook your head minutely, pleading for him to help you.

But it was too much to ask of the boy who was just talking now to your mom in the table.

"That's enough, honey, I think you've overwhelmed the girl of our son", Jay's dad laughed as he pulled his wife away from you gently before gesturing to your owm dad to take his place again.

When he turned his eyes back to you, you tried not to flinch on how happy he looked, "I'm so pleased about your return that I'll grant you anything you want"

"It is about the arrangement between Jay and I", you said quietly, "I'm ready to accept it now"

Silence was his only answer but the joyous smile he shared with Jay is a tell tale sign enough for you to know that he agreed.

Mr. Park then turned to his beautiful wife, "Show her to her room"

"My room?", you repeated quietly, looking at your mom for an explanation but she's still talking to Jay in the moment.

"They were going to look after you from now on", your dad explained, laying a hand in his friend's shoulder, "Of course, you'll not be in the same room with their son"

"Oh yes, we have to be careful with them", Mr. Park piped up suddenly, chortling a bit as he said, "Not when I know how Jay is actually inlove with her because they were in the same school"

"Go and rest", your dad said as he turned away from you, focusing to Mr. Park instead.

You barely resisted the urge to stop them from talking about you but the second Mrs. Park is happily leading you out of the room, you have no choice but to follow.

Either way, it is now to make yourself feel at home in this house.

Home, when you think about, it is not where you are from or where you were born at, it is where you belong.

Some of the people travel the whole world to find it, like you once did.

But in your whole adventure alone in Arizona, you realized that sometimes you find it in the person.

═════════•°•⚠•°•═════════

Three Months Later..

Jay was beginning to think that your family now merging with the Hwangs had beat his in terms of stubbornness.

First it took a long time for him and Yeji to convinced you in fixing up your relationship with Hyunjin in order to start over together in something new.

The only one left in his lists of problems is your dad. The same one who offered the arranged marriage and is the same person who couldn't stand the idea of his youngest daughter being touched by him.

In Jay's opinion, he had successfully managed to get you more to loosen up. Not that Mr. Hwang appreciated seeing the two of you being lovey dovey together whenever he took a visit.

But Jay was determined to win him over - to win his trust about not corrupting you too much.

"Jay", his mom called out from the car waiting outside, trying to get him to be faster, "We're going to be late"

"Just a minute, mom", Jay called back to her, looking to his clothes one more time.

Your dad since the two of you became closer slowly but surely getting to a closure, was determined to pick out the flaws in everything that Jay did.

The last time the two of you visited in the Hwang's residence for a dinner - dressed casually if Jay may said so himself - your dad had accused of trying to show his chest off because tree of his buttons were undone.

Jay didn't want him to find any flaws in his clothes again especially because you and him will be spending the night there.

"You can stop your worrying you know", an all too familiar voice called from the doorway, bringing an instant smile to his face.

He turned to look at you, watching as you walked towards him, "I told you I'd be there soon"

"I didn't trust you not to back out on this", you said with a smile, running a hand through his hair and laughing gently at the irritated look he threw your way.

"That's easy for you to say - you're his daughter", he reminded you.

"Let's go", you take his hand in yours, and started to lead him away from the mirror and towards the door.

"Give me a second"

Taking his hand out of yours, Jay grabbed his overnight bag before accompanying you down to the car of his mom. The two of you walked hand in hand and his mom didn't even try to hide her grin from the sight of her son finally getting the girl at last.

"We should get going now, Mrs. Park", you said quietly, coming to step inside the car and slid in the back seat, "I promise we'll return the next morning with Jay still being alive"

"Oh please, your dad is harmless. He is just making sure if my son is the right man for you", Mrs. Park rolled her eyes at the look of disbelief her son gave to her, "But you should hurry along now before he starts to think that we don't want you to leave here anymore - which I'm very tempted to do"

"That's nice", you said, shuffling awkwardly on your feet, still not used to her loving you so much.

Seeing this, Jay rolled his eyes, "Mom, you're getting way too ahead of yourself"

And after you listened to the banter of a mother and a son who is easy to pissed off, you reached your dad's home where he is already waiting with Yeji in the front steps.

You stumbled out of the car before Jay and he followed shortly after you, using an arm around your waist to steady you.

"Remove your arm, Park Jay", your dad ordered, voice cold and Jay had never taken his hands off from you quickly.

"Oh god, dad, stop scaring your future son-in-law", Yeji reminded but still chuckling as you laughed a bit.

Being a traitor that you are, you went readily into your dad's arms when he offered you a hug. Jay stood awkwardly, watching his girlfriend (which is you) hugged her dad who was glaring at him from over your shoulder.

When you parted from him, your dad kept you by his side and Jay cleared his throat, almost cursing his mom who's waving as she drove away.

"Why don't you go and get settled in?", Yeji suggested, clearly trying to ease some of the tension around them.

"That sounds like a good idea", your dad agreed, surprising Jay for a second, "I've had one of the maids clear away one of the guest's rooms, far away from your sister's room", Jay knew it was too good to be true, "Is there a problem, Jay?"

"Of course not, Sir"

"Good", your dad said, looking him over from head to toe, "I'll show you where you'll be staying"

After throwing a silent look at you who were dragged by Yeji in the other side of the house, Jay trailed after your dad as he led him through the halls and to the room he was spending the night in.

Mr. Hwang opened the door, gesturing for him to enter first and stepping into the room, Jay looked around with a curious eyes.

Before he could say a word, Mr. Hwang warned, "There's a cctv camera facing the door of Y/N's room and an alarm will alert me if you try and enter it, so don't you even dare"

"I swear, I won't try anything -"

"You had better not", your dad said tightly in his tone, "I promised your dad, I won't cut off anything between you and Y/N as long as you'll not touch her until the time is right"

Jay swallowed nervously, "Yes, sir"

With a nod, Mr. Hwang shut the door behind him and Jay let out a sigh, throwing himself in the bed along his bag. Had your dad been always so intimidating?

Or he had only turned to be like that when he first saw you getting too chummy with Jay?

He sat up at the sound of the door opening, expecting to be Mr. Hwang with more scary words. But it wasn't. It was someone much more beautiful.

For god's sake, Jay knew he was whipped that even the simple sight of you had him smiling like a fool.

"What are you doing here?", he asked, watching as you shut the door behind.

"What does it look like?", you muttered as you walked towards him, "I escaped Yeji and snuck in here"

"But your dad -"

"He's now busy again with his work and all", you informed him, settling into his lap and wrapping your arms around his neck, "Dad could never imagine that his princess would be the one to snuck into her boyfriend's room"

"You're going to get me killed", Jay groaned, dropping his head into your neck.

"Well, you'll die a happy man", you remarked, making him grinned and pressed a kiss to your neck that had you giggling, "Besides, don't take him seriously, he's harmless as a teddy bear"

Jay snorted, "That's about as true as the fact that I'm ugly"

"Well", you bit dowm on your lower lip before admitting, "I hadn't wanted to say anything, but since you brought it up yourself -"

"Nice try, love", he laughed a bit, knowing you were just teasing him as always.

You said nothing, and reached out a hand to trace around from his cheeks down to his jaw because you knew he loved it, making him feel like he was important, he said to you before.

Sure enough, after a few moments of only staring down at your face, there's that look in his eyes, the look that doesn't believe you've chosen him over the others, then he moved closer to you.

His hands gripped your waist