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''JJ, if you die on me right now, I swear I'll lose it. Don't even think about it, okay?''

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 JJ AND I exchanged a knowing look, both grinning as Eberhimi's voice crackled overhead, directing his men to the forward hull.

''We've got him,'' JJ whispered, barely audible.

From our hiding spot behind a wall of stacked crates, I carefully peeked around the corner. The shadows of the crew disappeared one by one into the hull. JJ leaned in close, his voice barely more than a breath. ''How many?''

I lifted three fingers, keeping my movements deliberate and quiet. My eyes stayed fixed on the figures shuffling down the corridor. My chest tightened as I caught sight of Rafe, Rose, and Wheezie trailing behind the group. Rose looked as composed as ever, her steps measured and her gaze sharp, while Wheezie clung to her side, visibly uneasy.

And then there was Rafe. His posture screamed tension, his jaw clenched so tight I wondered if he'd ever relax. There was something broken about him that I couldn't ignore, even though I wanted to. I hated him for murdering Peterkin, for making my life hell with the Kooks. But seeing how Ward treated him... it was like watching someone kick a dog that already lived its life in a cage.

He was just following orders.

JJ nudged me gently, pulling me back from my thoughts. ''That's all the crew,'' I murmured.

His lips pressed into a thin line as he whispered, ''Except Ward. We need Ward.''

I shook my head, trying to keep my voice steady. ''We can't wait.''

He exhaled, frustrated but understanding. Without another word, we darted out from behind the crates. Every muscle in my body screamed to move fast but quietly. The metallic clang of our boots hitting the floor echoed faintly, but the chaos on the other side of the ship masked most of it.

JJ slammed the heavy door shut, his muscles straining as he turned the lock. From inside, the muffled shouts of the trapped crew reached us. My hands were shaking as I pressed them against the door.

''Let's move,'' JJ urged.

We didn't wait for anything else. Together, we slipped down the narrow corridor. My heartbeat thundered in my ears as we made our way toward the next checkpoint.

Just as we turned a corner, we froze. There he was—Eberhimi. Somehow, he had escaped Pope and Cleo's trap, and now he stood directly in our path, a glinting knife in hand. His dark eyes narrowed when he saw us, and a cruel smile spread across his face.

''Of course,'' he drawled, his voice dripping with disdain. ''There's more of you. Get down on your knees.''

JJ didn't hesitate. With a fierce growl, he lunged at Eberhimi, the two of them colliding with a sickening thud. My brain barely had time to process before I reacted. I charged at Eberhimi, grabbing onto his arm and twisting with all my strength. He let out a grunt of pain, but he shoved JJ hard, sending him stumbling toward the railing.

''No!'' I shouted, my voice raw with panic.

JJ tried to regain his footing, but Eberhimi shoved him again, harder this time. The sound of JJ hitting the water was deafening. My stomach dropped as I ran toward the edge, but Eberhimi grabbed me by the arm, jerking me back. His knife flashed in the dim light as he tried to drive it toward me.

Adrenaline surged through me. I twisted, biting down hard on his wrist. He yelped, loosening his grip just enough for me to pull free. I drove my knee into his stomach, sending him stumbling backward. My eyes locked on the machete strapped to his side, and without thinking, I grabbed it, pulling it free with a sharp tug.

Time seemed to slow as I turned the blade in my hands. Eberhimi lunged at me, but I was faster. I drove the machete into his throat. The weight of what I'd done hit me like a freight train, but there was no time to process it. His body crumpled to the ground, and I spun toward the railing.

''JJ!'' I screamed, my voice echoing in the open air.

Without hesitating, I climbed over and leapt into the freezing water below. The cold hit me like a slap to the face, but I didn't care. JJ was floating a few feet away, his head bobbing above the waves. His eyes were half-closed, and his breathing was shallow.

''JJ, I've got you!'' I shouted, swimming toward him. The salt stung my eyes, but I didn't stop. Wrapping an arm around his chest, I fought to keep him above the water.

''John B!'' I screamed at the top of my lungs. ''John B, you motherfucker, help me!''

JJ's head lolled against my shoulder, and I tightened my grip. ''JJ, if you die on me right now, I swear I'll lose it. Don't even think about it, okay?'' My voice cracked, but I didn't care. ''Stay with me. Just stay with me.''

The waves tossed us around, but I kept kicking, kept screaming for help. I wasn't about to let him go—not now, not ever. 

Suddenly I heared an engine roaring and then out of the corner of my eye I saw a small boat with the Pouges already waiting on it. Every muscle in my body tensed as I scrambled to help him onto the boat, my breath coming in sharp gasps.

I pulled him toward me, guiding his unconscious form onto the boat, my hands trembling as I adjusted his weight. He was so cold, and his skin felt slick with the water, his chest barely rising. My heart was pounding in my ears. I needed him awake. I needed him to be okay.

I could barely focus on anything else as I pushed him fully onto the boat, but the moment I heard John B's voice, I snapped back to reality. His hand was already outstretched, waiting to help me. I didn't hesitate for a second as I grabbed it, pulling myself up onto the boat after him. My legs felt like jelly, but I managed to steady myself as I fell beside JJ, kneeling over him, my heart racing as I gently brushed his damp hair away from his face.

''JJ, wake up,'' I whispered, my voice cracking as I touched his cold cheek. My fingers felt like they were burning against him. With my other hand, I held his own. It was cold and I waited for it to turn warmer against my touch. 

I repeated it, my words frantic now. ''Come on, JJ. Please. You've gotta wake up. Wake up.''

The world seemed to hold its breath as I stared down at him, willing him to open his eyes. Then, just as my hope started to fade, his chest jerked, and he coughed violently, spluttering water out of his lungs. The sound was the sweetest thing I'd ever heard. I watched as his bleary eyes slowly opened, confusion crossing his face as he blinked against the bright sunlight.

His gaze locked with mine, and I could feel the weight of it, the relief flooding through me. But then, a small, breathless smile curled at the edges of his lips, and he gave a weak chuckle. ''I don't think I've actually heard you so worried before,'' he rasped, his voice hoarse, but there was that familiar spark in his eyes.

''Fuck you,'' I muttered, half out of exasperation, half out of relief. Before I could say anything else, I yanked him into a tight hug, my arms wrapping around him as if he might disappear if I let go.

He laughed weakly, his voice barely a whisper. ''Did you fight him off?'' he asked, his head lolling against my shoulder.

I pulled back slightly, my hands still trembling as I looked down at them. They weren't covered in blood since it mostly washed out, but my heart still sank as I thought about what I'd done. I felt sick. ''I—'' My words stuck in my throat. Too much.

The others had crowded around now, their hands resting on JJ as they pulled him into their arms, offering their own silent comfort. John B's face was creased with worry, but I could feel his eyes on me, like he was waiting for me to speak, waiting for me to explain.

''What?'' John B asked, his voice soft but insistent.

I shook my head, trying to push the thoughts away. My hands were still shaking, and I couldn't seem to find the words.

''Are you hurt too?'' John B asked, his voice edged with concern as he scanned my face, looking for any sign of injury. He reached out, touching my arm gently, but I could barely focus on him.

I stumbled over my words, trying to find the right ones, trying to pull myself together. But it was hard. It was so hard. And then Kie leaned over, her voice steady and reassuring as she took my hand in hers. She squeezed it gently.

''It's okay, Mimi,'' she murmured. ''You can tell us what happened.''

I didn't know where to start. I wasn't sure I could. The image of Eberhimi's bloodied body flashed in my mind, and the words came out in a rush. ''I think I killed him,'' I whispered, the admission tasting like ash in my mouth.

I expected something, anything really—shock, fear, disgust. I couldn't bear the thought of them seeing me differently, of them thinking I was capable of something like that.

But when I looked up, no one recoiled. There was no judgment, no fear. The only thing I saw in their eyes was something I hadn't expected—understanding.

John B was the first to move. He pulled me into a hug, his arms wrapping around me tightly. His words were soft but firm. ''You did it to protect us, Mavis. You were brave. You had no choice.''

I froze for a moment, the weight of his words crashing down on me. It was the first time in what felt like weeks that I allowed myself to relax into someone. His arms around me were a refuge, a shield from everything that had happened. And I couldn't help it. I let myself cry.

I buried my face against his shoulder, the salty water mixing with my tears. The cries were ugly and raw, the kind that came when you were just so damn tired. But in that moment, I didn't care. John B's steady presence was everything I needed. His heartbeat under my ear, the warmth of his embrace, the gentle way he whispered comforting words—it was enough to make me feel like I did something right. 

For the first time in a long while, I let myself lean into someone else.

RAFE - MEMORY

I STARED AT my father, my hands trembling slightly as I leaned against the edge of his desk. The dim light from the lamp above cast an eerie glow over the room, and the silence that followed felt suffocating. He was pacing, his footsteps heavy with irritation. I had to say something, but I didn't know if I could find the right words.

''Dad, when we get this plan going, can we not hurt Mavis?'' I asked, my voice quieter than I intended. I hated how my tone came out, like I wasn't even sure of what I was saying. But I knew I had to say it, because the thought of him going after her... it felt wrong.

He froze in his tracks, his eyes narrowing on me like I'd just spat in his face. ''What did you just say?'' he growled, his voice low, dangerous.

I swallowed hard, trying to steady my nerves. ''Mavis... she tutored Wheezie, Dad. She's friends with Sarah.'' The words felt weak, like they wouldn't matter, but I had to say it. Maybe it would get through to him somehow.

Ward scoffed, taking a step closer. His voice raised now, seething with anger. ''Since when do you care about any of these people, Rafe?'' He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. ''She's a Pogue. They're all the same.'' His tone was venomous, dismissive. He made it sound so simple, like people were just things to him. And maybe to him, they were.

''But she didn't do anything bad, Dad,'' I continued, my voice wavering now. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, just waiting for him to snap. ''She's not like the others. I've seen her. You let her into our house.''

Ward's expression darkened, his fists clenching. ''Different?'' He scoffed again, the word leaving his lips like it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. He slammed his hand down on the desk, making me flinch. ''You don't understand the importance of all this, Rafe! She's a Pogue. You think she's different? No. She's after the same thing as her mother. She's greedy. She's gonna want that gold just like her mother did, just like the rest of them. And I'll make sure she ends up just like her.''

I felt my chest tighten, my stomach twisting in knots. The words felt like they were suffocating me. I couldn't breathe. I wanted to fight back, but the fear, the anger—it kept me frozen in place. I wanted to defend her. I wanted to protect her. But... I couldn't. Not like this.

I dropped my head, the weight of my father's words crashing down on me. I flinched as Ward turned away from me, his back to me now. I could hear his footsteps moving away, the sound of his shoes echoing in the silence of the room. My heart pounded, but all I could do was stand there, motionless.

I never thought I'd be in this position, not with Mavis. She was always just there, a presence at the parties, her laugh cutting through the noise, her voice always so clear, so easy to listen to. I could never help but listen, even if I didn't always see her. I loved hearing her, just knowing she was around. Maybe that's why I always told her to get away from me. Because I was scared. Scared of what I might do, scared of the way I couldn't control myself.

When I was sober, I would try to apologize, but she'd never take it. She didn't trust me, and I didn't blame her. I wouldn't trust me either. But still, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to do something right for once. Something good. And maybe, just maybe, I could make it right with her. But now, standing here with my father's voice in my ears, I knew that was never going to happen.

I had to make him proud. Even if it meant hurting people, even if it meant destroying the one thing I'd ever cared about. Mavis was nothing but a Pogue, just like her mother. She'd get in the way. She'd get what was coming to her.

But part of me—just a tiny part—wasn't so sure. And that scared the hell out of me.

words: 2484

A/N

let's ignore the fact the dude she ''killed'' will get a come back in season 3, let's just say the blade didn't go that far and he got medical attention in time and survived.

Also if anyone dares to say she's a pick me because rafe said she's different i'm gonna lose my shit. He meant like she's different from the pouges because they only care about the tressure and their friends while she cares for everybody even if that's her enemy (like when she helped ashley and thanked topper)