Dear Diary,

For the first time in ages, I've woken up with a smile on my face. I'm ready to start the day. I'm ready to say "I'm fine" and smile and mean it. And I don't know, this may be the giddy teenage girl inside me speaking, but I believe I'm one step closer to full recovery. Clearly, there are still some problems that I need to address... Like Jeremy's addiction, Vicki's recovery, and Jenna's discomfort.

But despite all these problems, I have the feeling that I'm gonna have a great year. All I have to do is keep my family intact and manage to get through without telling Bonnie and Caroline where I was all summer. They haven't asked but I know they will. They'll mention my disappearance in one of our regular conversations, and there will be a point where I can't avoid it without slipping up. I have a lie prepared. But if I tell them, they won't see me in the same light.

Sincerely, Raven E. Gilbert

"So..." Raven drawled, restlessly tapping her foot against the floor as Holly finished reading her most recent entry aloud. "What do you think?"

Holly paused for a moment, recollecting her thoughts. She removed her reading glasses and slammed them on the drawer, allowing Raven to into her frosty green eyes. "I think you're not being entirely truthful, Raven," She confessed icily. "And honesty is vital to a longstanding relationship such as this one, don't you think?"

Here we go with the subtle accusations.

"What are you talking about?" Raven asked, irritated and exhausted. Despite the night whisking past her as she got caught up in the most random discussions with Stefan, she'd been having an exceptional morning. She noticed the scarcity of her mood and acknowledged it, but now her joy was being torn apart by her own therapist. "I am honest! I even put in that bit about Bonnie and Caroline, which I've almost never done."

"Because you wanted to protect them."

It wasn't a question. It was a fact. A fact that Raven confirmed when she averted her eyes to the clasped hands in her lap, hanging her head shamefully. But Holly didn't seem to mind her caginess. She understood it more than anyone and knew that being a therapist wasn't only about building rapport but also gaining trust. That was a process. It took time, especially when they had such a questionable connection.

Holly smiled. "It's okay, Raven. I know you didn't trust me before because of what my father did to you—and I'm glad you do now, but...I'm sensing that you're holding back. In all of the problems you listed, you didn't mention your own once." 

"That's not true," Raven scoffed. "I mentioned Jeremy and Jenna--" 

"Those aren't your problems, Raven." 

"They feel like my problems." 

Holly set her clipboard aside. Raven bit back a groan. "I've noticed your aversion to vulnerability. You deflect. You omit. You're not honest." 

"Okay..." Raven tried not to roll her eyes in Holly's face. She could be such a nuisance when she wanted to be. "And what would you have me say?" 

Holly sighed, catching on to Raven's annoyance. "I don't know. Maybe what happened to your leg?" Raven looked at the band-aid above her foot. She mentally swore at herself for not getting changed out of her sleepwear and looked up to meet Holly's disappointed glare. "We've made so much progress, Raven. I'd hate for any impulsive decisions to ruin that."

"It was an accident," She said impatiently. She didn't like the assumption that she relapsed. And she was offended by the fact that her therapist of all people didn't believe her. If the one person who'd been acquainted with all her demons couldn't believe she would battle depression with everything she had, then who would?

"Raven-"

"It was," She insisted. "I was running, and I tripped. Besides, if I was going to hurt myself, I wouldn't do it in such an obvious place, you know that."

Holly stared at her for a moment, her eyes casting about for a trace of truth. Finally, she surrendered. "Why don't you tell me why you were so happy waking up this morning?"

At this, Raven beamed. "I met someone," She announced cheerfully. "A guy. And we talked... almost all night. But I think I fell asleep at one point because one minute we were out laughing on the balcony and the next, it was four in the morning, I was in bed, and he was gone."

"Did you have the usual night terrors?"

Why ask about my personal life if you don't even care? Raven thought. Every session was always centered on her struggles, but never on her happiness. "One."

"You didn't mention it in your journal."

"That's because I don't remember what it was about," She responded.

Holly's eyebrow arched. "Then how do you know it was a night terror?"

"I don't," Raven confessed. "But on my way here, I got this feeling, and I had this weird...flash, like part of a dream, and I almost crashed my bike." Holly gave an intrigued hum as she grabbed her clipboard and began to jot notes down. "That was accidental, too."

Holly looked up at her, her eyes narrowing. "I didn't say it wasn't."

"You didn't have to. I know that look. It was the same one your dad gave me when he thought I was lying."

"Well, did you lie?"

No, I stayed completely honest while he tortured me and deceived me every chance he got. "I told selective truths," She clarified. "It was the only way to survive there."

Alarm flashed across Holly's face for a moment. "You believed Dr. Blake was going to kill you?"

She wouldn't be Holly if she didn't collect information every moment she could. She truly was a Blake, and their similarities were beginning to get slightly unnerving.

"No, but I knew that by the time I got out, there were parts of me that wouldn't exist anymore," Raven admitted, choosing her words carefully. "And I didn't want to look in the mirror and not recognize my reflection. Obviously, I wasn't successful."

"Raven," Holly spoke gravely as if time was of the essence. "Do you know what happened to the doctor?"

Raven leaned back in her chair, unappreciative of her accusatory tone. The number of times she'd been asked this by Holly alone was countless and irritating. She sighed heavily. "No. I don't. But whatever it is, I'm sure he deserved it."

◇◇◇

Sneaking in and slipping out wasn't as nearly as easy as it was conveyed in movies. Raven couldn't just hop out of a window and run for it. No, she had to go through the whole process. That meant hiding her bike in the bushes, climbing up a less-than-sturdy ladder to quietly hop onto the roof, and then crawling through the window. The effort was ridiculous, but was it worth it? Sometimes.

So, by the time Raven completed that routine and her daily routine, she was always shocked by the amount of energy she had left. But she never questioned it. She just appreciated it and went on her way. But that morning was different. It all started when she left her room.

Almost directly after she stepped out, cold fingers brushed against her arm. She flinched and looked up to see Jenna dressed in a simple but stunning eggplant-colored dress and black pumps. "Do I look adult? As in respectfully parental?"

"Where you going?"

"Jeremy's parent-teacher conference," Jenna answered, strutting to a mirror hung up on the hallway wall. She tilted her head to the side and mustered her hair upwards before letting it fall to her shoulders as she asked, "Should I put my hair up...or hair down?"

"Up," Raven answered instantly. "Definitely up. Unless you want to look like a hooker or if we're going in the more parental direction, a boozy housewife."

Jenna scoffed. "Up it is. Hey, what's wrong with your face?"

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You're smiling," Jenna said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "You didn't switch your brother's shampoo with bleach again, did you?"

Raven scoffed, but her grin widened when she thought of Jeremy walking around with yellow hair.  But she snapped out of the memory when she realized Jenna was still eyeing her and smiled.

"No, of course not. I'm just in a good mood. Why wouldn't I be? It's bright...and sunny...and I think I heard birds chirping outside of my window this morning."

Jenna laughed as she fixed her hair in the mirror.  "I'm sure you did."

"So, where is Jeremy anyways?" Raven asked, peeking inside his empty room. It wasn't like him to leave so early. Normally, it took a bucket of ice to even get him to consider getting out of bed. 

"He left early. Something about getting to a wood shop early to finish a birdhouse." Raven frowned, giving her aunt an 'Are you serious?'  look, but as soon as the words tumbled past her lips, Jenna dropped her hand from her hair and lifted a finger. "There is no birdhouse, is there?"

"Tricked by Jeremy of all people," Raven commented and clapped her aunt on the back. "That's gotta hurt."

"Oh quiet!" Jenna said, and Raven giggled. "Don't you have to get to school?"

"Yep. And before you ask, I'm catching a ride with Bonnie and Caroline."

"Good," Jenna remarked with a satisfied smile. "I'm glad you three are hanging out again. It's nice to see they've pulled you out of your usual slump."

"Mm-hm."

"Do they know why you were gone all summer?"

They turned and started to descend down the staircase. Raven cleared her throat. "Um, no, I haven't told them yet."

"Raven," Jenna began softly, giving her a gentle smile. Here comes the kind and casual approach to persuade me to come clean. I've been through this before. "You went through something incredibly traumatic. Going to a trauma recovery center is nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been there, and I'm sure they'll be glad to know you were able to heal in a healthy way."

As they reached the end of the stairs, Raven's eyes shifted anywhere except her aunt's troubled gaze. "I'm not ashamed, Jenna. I just..." I'm terrified. But she couldn't say that. She couldn't say anything. 

Jenna nodded. She had no way inside Raven's mind but knew the girl better than she thought. "I understand," She said, offering a kind smile. "But if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"I know," Raven said, smiling. But she wasn't going to talk about it, no matter how badly she wanted to. "Oh, and by the way, if you want to find Jeremy, you should try the hospital. He probably went to visit Vicki, bring her flowers or something."

"Then why didn't he just say that?"

"Beats me," Raven replied with a shrug. "But you know him. If word gets out that he's done something nice for once, it'll annihilate his image."

Jenna sighed. Not only did he have a tortured soul, but he had a confusing mind, the worst combination. But at least he wasn't a borderline psychopath. Then they'd really be in trouble. "See you at school?"

"Definitely."

Jenna turned to give Raven a quick hug before her unusually calm departure, with the promise of buying enough frozen yogurt to last the week after the meeting.

As soon as the front door slammed shut, Raven checked her phone. No new messages. She dialed Ryder's number. "Come on...pick up."

"The person you have called is not available at this. Please leave a message at the tone." Beep.

"Shit!" Raven screamed, banging her fist against the wall. She took a deep breath. "Hey, Ryder, it's Raven. I need to know you're okay. Please call me back. I love—I miss you. Bye."

Stuffing her phone in her jean pockets, Raven found herself wandering inside the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator in search of something to eat. After a moment of contemplation, she grabbed the last cup of yogurt, ready to dig in, when someone asked, "That's it?"

Raven froze. She shook her head and slowly turned to see Bonnie standing by the kitchen entrance, appearing just as confused as she was. "What the–"

"Aren't you going to eat anything else?"

Raven sat down on the stool, giving her friend a nonchalant shrug. "Not very big on cooking."

Puzzled, Bonnie opened her mouth to respond when another voice rang out. "Then it's a good thing we brought you breakfast!"

Raven looked to see a certain blonde beside Bonnie, grinning from ear to ear as she held up a bag of diner food. Raven's gaze switched between a perturbed Bonnie and an oblivious Caroline, and slowly, the corners of her lips tugged upwards.

"Let's eat."

Caroline squealed before placing the paper bag on the counter. She plopped onto the stool, pulling out various trays to display their options. Bonnie pulled up a stool beside her, still eyeing Raven with a hardened frown. She didn't know what had happened in the last three months, but she had the feeling that whoever was sitting across from her wasn't her best friend.

◇◇◇

"I'm confused," Caroline was saying as she, Bonnie, and Raven strolled down the bustling hallways of Mystic Falls High. Bonnie had just explained last night's events while Raven cast her eyes in every direction, on the lookout for Jeremy and any of his stoner friends, ready to bust them on the spot. "Are you psychic or clairvoyant?"

"Technically, Grams says I'm a witch," Bonnie clarified. "My ancestors were these really cool Salem witch chicks or something. Grams tried to explain it all, but she was looped on the liquor so I kinda tuned out. Crazy family? Yes. Witches? I don't think so."

"Yeah, well, feel free to conjure up the name and number of that guy from last night."

"What guy?" Raven asked, snapping her eyes to Caroline. In their string of rants all morning, no guy had ever been brought up.

"There was this really hot guy at The Grill and I really felt a spark, you know?"

"But it was one of those love-at-first-sight sparks," Bonnie added. "She told me they didn't even talk."

"I know what I felt," Caroline insisted. "And I'm telling you, there's something there."

An entertained smile stretched across Raven's face as she glanced between the two of them and noticed their contrasting moods.

"Oh look, there's Matt!" Caroline said bubbly.

The other two girls looked to see him standing in the front of the school, right in the field, and Raven looked around. She hadn't even realized they'd left the building.

"Matt!" Caroline called out. He turned to look at her, smiling when his eyes landed on her. Their schoolmate and his best friend since childhood, Tyler Lockwood, muttered something in his ear, and they both laughed before performing a not-so-secret handshake. When that was over, Matt made his way to the group, where there was a chorus of greetings.

"How's Vick?" Raven asked. The last she heard Vicki's wounds had been taken care of, and she was fast asleep.

"She's fine," Matt cleared up. "They're keeping her overnight to make sure there's no infection, but she should be able to come home tomorrow."

"Were you able to reach your mom?"

"Called and left a message. She's in Virginia Beach with her boyfriend, so... we'll see how long it takes her to come rushing home."

Raven frowned. She hardly knew Kelly Donovan, but despite her trashy behavior and questionable choices, the one thing she never doubted was that Mrs. Donovan loved her kids to the moon and back. Even if she had a funny way of showing it. "I'm sure she'll be back soon."

"Yeah."

"Do they know what animal attacked her?"

"She said it was a vampire."

Raven froze. "What?"

Matt stopped alongside her, oblivious to the horrified look on her face. "Yeah, she wakes up last night and mutters 'vampire' and passes out. I think she was drunk."

A vampire...in Mystic Falls? But that would mean... her stomach flipped at the mere thought of him.

Ryder.

But he wouldn't...he couldn't...he promised he would never–

"So what's up with you and the new guy?" Matt asked, nodding toward Stefan, who was sitting at a table across the lawn. Raven hadn't even noticed he was there.

"He's cool." While she'd already made her feelings for Matt clear, she didn't want to rub it in his face that she may have found someone she actually liked. Liked... such a strong word.

Matt scoffed. "I can tell. He was with you at the Grill...at the bonfire..."

Raven went quiet, choosing not to entertain the implication. She glanced at Bonnie and Caroline, who'd somehow managed to sneak twenty feet away from her as she and Matt spoke, but they were still watching attentively and listening in. "Um, we're all headed to the hospital. Do you wanna come?"

"Um, I'll take my car. I'm probably gonna stop somewhere first. If she's awake, she'll probably want to eat something other than hospital food." 

Raven smiled. Matt had always been so thoughtful. Even when she broke up with him, all he could ask was if she was okay, nevermind the pain he was going through. "Okay. Catch you later?"

"Yeah," He said, giving her a small nod and awkward smile before walking away. Bonnie and Caroline went to her side, eyeing him as he left.

"Poor guy," Caroline said.

Bonnie nodded, sympathy gleaming in her eyes. "I know, right? What happened to Vicki is horrible."

"Vicki?" Caroline repeated, scrunching her eyebrows as if that was the dumbest thing she'd heard all day. "I'm not talking about her, I'm talking about Raven. He's totally in love with her."

"What are you talking about?" Raven asked. With her, there were always switching subjects. One minute, they were talking about sexism, and the next, their primary topic was about who was the hottest out of Edward and Jacob (although the answer was obvious—clearly, it was Jacob). It was a wonder anyone could keep up with her, but she and Bonnie had been doing it for years.

Caroline gave Raven a look. "Don't play dumb." She turned back to look at Matt, who was getting into his car. "I mean, look at him. How can you look into those sad puppy eyes and say no? You're killing him."

"No, I'm not."

"You are literally clutching his heart and ripping it out of his chest."

"Have you been watching Indiana Jones again?" Raven asked. Bonnie laughed, and Caroline rolled her eyes. "Look, I already made it perfectly clear to him that I'm not interested."

"You didn't give him the It's not you, it's me speech, did you?" Bonnie chimed in.

"No. I just told him that I'm not the one for him. Last night at the bonfire."

"I didn't know you believed in soulmates." Yet another reason to grow suspicious of her.

And Raven instantly caught on. "I don't."

"Well, I do," Caroline piped up, unaware of the tension between her two friends. "Like that guy at the bar!"

Bonnie teasingly rolled her eyes before trading looks with Raven, who laughed. Their walk to the car and ride to the hospital was filled with Caroline raving on and on about the sexy stranger. She barely took any breaths as she droned about the man, from his solid jawline to his intense blue eyes, but there was something else about the conversation that grabbed her attention.

"...weird ring..."

Raven, who'd been occupied with her latest piece of art, immediately put down her pencil. "Wait, ring?"

"Yeah, I saw it when he waved," Caroline casually mentioned, but then noticed the wary look on her friend's face. "Don't worry, he wasn't married or anything."

Who else