warning; mention of self inflicted wounds. depressive thoughts.

your mind slowly began to rouse from its slumber, stirred by the cheerful chirping of birds outside. your body followed suit, gradually regaining its functionality as you reluctantly emerged from the depths of sleep. a wave of frustration washed over you as you cursed the necessity of waking up. 

extending your arms and blinking your still-drowsy eyes, you halfheartedly scanned the room for the presence of another body. you were certain that they had occupied the couch moments ago. however, as your vision sharpened, you came to the realization that the couch lay empty. confusion permeated the remnants of sleep as you struggled to recall the events leading up to this moment.

the door creaked open, capturing your attention, and there stood onceler, peering in with a mischievous grin adorning his face. "good morning!" he chuckled, his voice brimming with lightheartedness as he approached you and settled down on his bed. his gaze fell upon your disheveled hair, prompting a soft chuckle to escape his lips. yawning, you mustered the energy to ask, "why are you up so early?" your eyes focused on his face, seeking an explanation for his early awakening.

he shrugged playfully, his grin widening. "i guess i was just in a nice mood, you know?" his response was accompanied by a gentle shrug, as if the joy within him couldn't be contained. the early morning sunlight streamed through the window, casting a warm glow upon the room.

you nodded, still rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you took in onceler's playful comment. "you look stupid," he had teased, prompting a chuckle to escape his lips. in response, you let out a grumbling sound and continued to rub your eyes, but a hint of insecurity began to creep into your thoughts. sensing your vulnerability, onceler reached out and gently stroked your back, his touch offering reassurance. "hey, i'm just kidding. you look fine," he assured you, his voice carrying a joking tone.

amidst the exchange, the rumbling of your stomach became impossible to ignore. "i'm starving," you admitted, the hunger evident in your voice. onceler hummed in acknowledgment, offering a solution. "i made breakfast. as usual, brush your teeth and do whatever you need to do, then come sit down with me." you nodded in agreement, grateful for his thoughtfulness.

as you made your way to the bathroom, onceler asked if you wanted him to close the door. however, he predictably left it open, causing you to let out another groan of exasperation. this was a recurring habit of his that always managed to irk you. you entered the bathroom, scowling once again as you stared at your own reflection in the mirror. the sight of your own face only intensified your self-disgust, and a heavy sigh escaped your lips.

you take off your pajamas, revealing the wounds and scars that adorned your body—testaments to your own struggles. closing your eyes and furrowing your brows, you took a moment to compose yourself before proceeding with your morning routine. you brushed your hair and teeth, opting for a simple hoodie and sweatpants that lay nearby. slipping on a pair of socks, you braced yourself for the day ahead.

feeling a slight surge of satisfaction after your interaction with the mirror, you left the bathroom and made your way to the kitchen. as you entered, you found onceler hunched over his thneed, clearly engrossed in his work. standing in the doorway, you leaned against the frame and casually asked, "when are you gonna sell that thing? It's been a good four months." four months, you also met him four months ago.

letting out an exasperated groan, onceler replied, "i have no idea! what happens if it doesn't turn out well? what if my family was right?" the mention of his family caused your eyes to roll in annoyance, but you approached him nonetheless. stepping closer, you placed yourself in front of him and gently took hold of his hands, forcing him to look down at you. "hey, look at me," you said firmly, making sure you had his full attention. when he turned to face you, you continued, "it'll turn out great. you have my support at every turn because i know you can do it."

a genuine smile of relief formed on onceler's face as he took in your words. "thanks, y/n," he said, his voice laced with gratitude. "no clue what i'd do without you." touched by his words, you leaned your head closer to his and placed a quick, affectionate peck on his cheek. it was a simple gesture, yet it conveyed the depth of your feelings and your unwavering support for him.

as you were about to turn back to your breakfast, onceler surprised you by wrapping his arms around your waist and mashing his lips against yours. your eyes widened in surprise, letting out a small gasp, but the initial shock quickly gave way to a wave of warmth and affection. his eyes were closed, and you could sense a hint of uncertainty in his actions, as if he was afraid of overstepping boundaries. however, you couldn't help but smile, feeling the genuine love and adoration he held for you.

your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as you tiptoed to meet him at eye level. 

four months.

was that right?

something felt off. amidst the surge of emotions, a subtle twinge of doubt crept into your mind. four months of friendship, was it too early for this level of intimacy? were you truly ready for this step in your relationship? uncertainty clouded your thoughts, and you couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right.

"i love you."

the weight of onceler's words settled heavily on your heart, creating a storm of conflicting emotions within you. you stared into his eyes, searching for a glimmer of understanding, but all you saw was the sincerity and affection that you couldn't bring yourself to accept. doubt consumed you as you convinced yourself that you were unworthy of his love, that he deserved someone better than you.

you looked him in the eye, feeling overwhelmed by conflicting emotions. "this... this isn't right," you stammered, your voice trembling. "you're too good for me. you deserve someone better. i'm sorry. i can't do this," you managed to say, your voice trembling with a mix of fear and self-doubt. pushing him away, you could feel the desperation in his touch, his hand reaching out to hold onto what was slipping away. but you couldn't bear the weight of his love when you couldn't love yourself.

confusion clouded onceler's face as he reached out for you. "what are you talking about? i love you, y/n." the confusion in onceler's voice only added to your anguish. you turned your back on him, unable to face the depth of his emotions. the sound of his repeated declaration, "i love you," echoed in your ears as you rushed out of the room, your footsteps echoing in the silence.

you sprinted out the door, seeking solace amidst the truffula trees. "shit! shit! shit!" you whispered, your voice filled with frustration. your hands pounded against your thighs in a mix of anger and regret. "i ruined everything! why'd i do that? why can't I let myself be happy?"

as you struggled to make sense of your actions, a sense of disappointment consumed you. you berated yourself for pushing away the one person who cared for you, who saw something in you that you couldn't see in yourself.

as you sat there, feeling lost and broken, a flurry of tip taps approached, catching your attention. you looked up to see the lorax, barbaloots, and humming fish looking at you with concern. your orange little friend hurried over and wrapped his arms around your head, his fur providing comfort against your face. his voice was filled with genuine concern as he spoke, "don't do that, don't hurt cha'self. it'll bruise."

you let out a sigh, your voice muffled against his arms, "help." he held you tighter, his eyes reflecting his concern. "how?" he asked gently.

feeling a mix of frustration and sadness, you responded, "i don't know, i just.. wanna feel okay. that's all I need." his arms tightened around you, and he whispered reassuringly, "It'll be okay."

his next question caught you off guard. "how can I make you happy?" happiness felt like a distant concept, and you let out another sigh. "i don't know... i'm sorry," you admitted, feeling a weight of guilt for not having a clear answer.

the lorax continued to soothe you, his voice filled with compassion and understanding. "you're not a burden," he reassured, his hand gently rubbing your back. his gaze met yours, and he spoke with conviction, "like everyone else, you're a person. your personality is special, and both yer' strengths and weaknesses are present. don't let those negative thoughts about cha'self make ya' feel unworthy. you deserve to be loved and heard."

"you're worth way more than you realize, y/n," the lorax continued. as he spoke, you felt a sense of calm wash over you. his voice was soothing, yet there was a strength and authority behind his words that captivated your attention. his genuine care and belief in your worth began to chip away at the self-doubt that had plagued you.

with a nod, you conveyed your gratitude and understanding. "i'm glad you're here," the lorax said, his voice filled with genuine sincerity. you nodded vigorously in agreement, your heart overflowing with appreciation for his presence and support. "yeah," you replied.

after a few minutes, you feel calmer and somewhat composed, but you don't feel a hundred percent. you want to go back to onceler, but you're too embarrassed. you did love him, truly. what if he hated you now? you bury your face in your hands, reassuring yourself that it's fine, it's onceler, and he won't hate you. you'll make it up to him somehow. despite your lingering doubts, you feel confident that you can mend things.

as you walk back to onceler's little home, you ponder over the odd nature of his personality. he can be both comforting and annoying, but somehow you feel like you can trust him. you may not even know what he is, but that doesn't matter. when you reach his cottage, you find him pacing in the living room. his eyes light up when he sees you, and he rushes over to wrap his arms around you. you let out a little yelp of surprise, but it quickly turns into a sigh of relief.

"i'm sorry! i'm so sorry i drove you away," onceler blurts out, his voice filled with genuine remorse. but you shake your head, assuring him that it's not necessary. "no, you don't need to apologize. it's all my fault. i promised you i'd be there for you no matter what, and i'll keep my word. i was just... scared. i love you too, onceler," you say with a friendly smile, patting his cheek gently.

his grip tightens, and he refuses to let go. "let me make it up to you!" he pleads, but you insist that it's unnecessary. "i was scared too, but I'm not anymore, and i won't let anything stop me from being with you. i'm gonna make you proud of me," he declares, determination shining in his eyes. onceler lifts you up and spins you around, his happiness palpable. he then presses his forehead against yours, his affectionate gestures filling you with warmth.

"thank you," he whispers, showering your forehead with tender kisses. being with someone who genuinely cares about you feels incredible. for once, you feel okay. you feel safe.