~*~

The sunrise was so beautiful, yet this moment was painful.......

The sound of Tanjiro's cries of frustration was mostly from exhaustion, as he took it all out just before towards that damn demon. He was hunched over while I go over to Rengoku to aid him out of concern, collapsing to my knees to analyse his wound. My breath hitches in response realising how fatal it was, that I'm surprised he's still keeping himself up. My hands hesitantly goes to apply some pressure to prevent him bleeding out, but I didn't know where to. 

How could I? What would Big sister do in this moment? Please, I gotta know......

"It's pointless, young Igarashi......" Rengoku advises, with a deep and gentle voice. ".......I've lost too much blood, so my fate ends here........"

"But......but I....." I utter out, my jaw clamping shut as my teeth grind in frustration.

"Don't work yourself up like that," Rengoku turns to Tanjiro, with a voice so mellow and warm. Despite his injuries he was concerned for us instead, "You would reopen your wound, and that would be very bad......you dying my young Kamado would truly spell my defeat........come here lad, let us speak one last time....."

Tanjiro picks himself up and walks over to us and kneels down beside me, as I rest a hand upon his back for support knowing this must be hard for him. Seeing someone so important and strong, finally dying from a battle that we weren't prepared for.

"When I was dreaming of the past, there was something I remembered," Rengoku began, in realisation and reminisces. "My old residence, you Tanjiro.....should go pay it a visit. You too Igarashi if you wish.......but for Tanjiro, there are notes of the previous flame Hashira there. I recall my father used to read them often, but I'm afraid I don't know their contents myself....."

The demons arm that was torn and embedded into his abdomen, slowly evaporates into thin air the moment the sun peaks.

".....within those notes, you may find the dance you mentioned," Rengoku grimaces slightly, his voice becoming gravelling and hoarse. "The hinokami kagura......"

Tanjiro was silently crying with large tears, "Please, Mr Rengoku.....enough of that!" he raises his hands, trying to be considerate of the hashira as his voice trembles. "Just think about yourself now, can you heal up with a breathing technique?"

Rengoku gives him a subtle smile, "No, very soon......I'll be dead," He replies, rather morbidly. "Before that happens, I need you to hear me out.......I have a younger brother named Senjuro. Please tell him to follow his heart, and walk down the path he feels is right.....and tell my father that I want him to look after himself......and last....about your sister......know that I believe in her. I accept her as our ranks, your sister shed blood to protect the people inside that train from demons....and anyone who does that, reagrdless of what is said to the contrary is a rightful member of the demon slayer corp. So hold your head high........"

Tanjiro tries to stifle his sobs, whilst I tried to keep myself strong for him though I was on the verge of tears.

"......if you are feeling disheartened, that you somehow not enough," Rengoku continues. "Set your heart ablaze......dry your eyes, and look ahead. You may feel like digging your heels in, but the flow of time waits for no one. It won't patiently stand by as you grieve, don't feel bad that I'm going to die........as a hashira it's natural I'd protect you all. The young buds must be allowed to bloom.......any other hashira would've done the same as I.....Young Kamado, Young Igarashi, Young Boar.....Boy of Yellow.......you must continue to grow, and eventually you will lend your aid and become the next hashira. I believe.....in each and every one of you.............."

My jaw was locked tight, trying to hold back my tears seeing the light fadining from his vibrant golden red eyes.

".......and Young Igarashi, please tell..........Lady Mizutsuki this," Rengoku utters out, blood leaking from his lips. "That I'm glad to be her ally, and comrade.......and that she's grown into a strong woman......as well as Lady Kanroji."

Nodding while a small whimper leaves my lips, I slam my hand against my chest over my heart.

"I-I will........Lord Rengoku," I choke out, as a stray tear rolls down one side.

Slowly his head begins to drop slowly forward and closes his eyes, as a smile drifts upon his lips causing my heart to wrench. His body slowly hunches over as we all stood or sat there, registering the fact that he was no longer with us. Is this how Big sister felt, when she lost her big brother against the Upper Moon? It hurts so much, knowing we couldn't do much to prevent it.

The sound of feet approaches us, as my eyes weakly flicker up to see Zenitsu carrying Tanjiro's wooden box with Nezuko inside I assume.

"Zenitsu.......you alright?" I murmur gently, picking myself up to meet his gaze at the same level. 

"When the train.....went off the rails, Mr Rengoku used a bunch of his techniques," Zenitsu whispers out, in utter disbelief at the sight of Rengoku's lifeless body on his knees. "That must be how he somehow avoided suffering casualties...........along with Kaito's aid, but.....I can't believe he's gone.....was it really an Upper rank demon?"

My eyes harden, "Yeah..........he was stronger than the demon on the train," I spoke up, my voice hoarse from silently crying for a moment. 

"Why would something like that, come here?" Zenitsu questions, with a wavering voice. "Something that strong, I don't get it......."

My brows furrow in frustration as my fists tighten, "He wasn't our objective, and yet.........he somehow was probably nearby," I growl subtly, with my eyes covered by my shaggy raven hair.

Tanjiro breaths heavily, "I'm so frustrated, soon I managed to break through one wall......." He utters out, his crimson eyes swimming in tears. "......it feels like I hit an even higher, thicker wall.......and all the while I can hear the sounds of my heroes fighting beyond it. But I can't make it over there to join them, if I'm still here fumbling around in the dark.....how could I ever......is becoming someone like him, impossible for me?"

Zenitsu soon begins to cry with Tanjiro, following with Inosuke trying to keep it.

"Stop blubbering like a little baby!!!!" Insouke blurts out, angrily through tears under his mask. "This can I and can't I junk.....is really pissing me off!!!! He already said he believes in you, so you just have to worry about how to get there! All living things just go back to the earth where they die, feeling sorry for yourself isn't gonna change that! No matter what big eyes said to you, no matter how pathetic or humiliated you feel......you just gotta keep on living!"

"-But your crying too," Zenitsu points out, through his tears. "I can see all the tears coming out of that head piece of yours--"

Inosuke abruptly slams his head against Zenitsu's, "I am not crying!!!!!!" 

Zenitsu's temple begins to bleed as he stumbles forward, as I walk up to him and caught him before he could fall and held him up around the arm. Watching them all cry and becoming vulnerable to each other, felt refreshing realising how even when surrounded by death we shouldn't cancel our own emotions. Gazing up to the sunrise behind the mountains, all I could think about is what Big sister is doing right now.

I wonder how you'll take this news.......

~*~

AT THE WIND ESTATE - (Hayami's POV)

The sound of wind, blows a gust outside........

Preparing warm green tea and a few snacks upon the tray, my hands delicately and carefully adjust it upon the low table. Standing up I slip my haori off to avoid spillage, slipping it over the divider within his home, revealing in my sleeveless uniform top. Scars litter across my arms, but being with Sanemi helped me embrace my flaws. Picking up the tray I step outside to see Sanemi training rather vigorously, which was the cause of the thundering sounds of wind blowing a heavy gust.

He's been training far more than me today, as I've been preparing more homework for Sanemi and even Kaito when I teach them how to spell and write letters. I've been brainstorming and researching some old scrolls from the Ubuyashiki home, thanks to Ayame.

"Snacks are here if you need," I announce, placing it upon the verandah edge.

"Sure baby, I'll be there shortly," He calls out, before he places more bamboo around for him to improve his blades sharpness and his stealth. 

Sitting down on the edge of the verandah I would watch him, the way his forearms would show when he strikes. His hair disheveled, to the way his attacks were powerful and yet so light on his feet with his large frame. He was very strong, but when he's so focused in his training I found it rather attractive . Was that wrong to feel that way? Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I analysed his movements wondering how I could get better and stronger than I am right now.

With a final blow all bamboo were sliced into splinters, and lying at his feet while hearing his heavy breathing from his few hours of training.

"Shit......not good enough," He mutters out, smearing the sweat from his brow with his fist.

Before I could go over to check on him I hear a flapping, as I extend my arm recognising the sound and caw that follows. Nami slowly perches herself upon my arm, as I scratch her chin gently.

"What is it? Another mission?" I ask her softly, with a gentle smile.

"Caw~ A Lower rank demon has been annihilated with mission a success, but the Flame hashira has fallen early this morning at the crack of dawn, killed by an Upper Rank demon. Kaito is alive and well and has gone to the butterfly mansion to be treated~ Caw"

For a moment it ran past me until I slowly register the news, as my breath comes out shakily before closing my mouth with my teeth clenched. Lowering my arm Nami perches herself upon the verandah, as I glance over to see Sanemi with his crow sharing the same news. A growl soon left him from afar, "Those repulsive demons......I'll exterminate them all," He vows, in a gravelling tone.

My throat felt numb that I couldn't even barely swallow, as my body ran cold. 

Why am I reacting this way again, this familiar and gut wrenching feeling after losing someone so dear and close to us? 

"H-How........." 

My breath began to shake and my body to tremble, but I tried to swallow that lump in my throat that wouldn't go back down. The salty and bitter tears threatening to spill, as a stray tear rolls down subconsciously one cheek. Recalling those bitter memories from losing my big brother, and now Kyojuro? 

This was the way of life I suppose.........

"Hayami, love.....?" Sanemi's voice broke me out of my own thoughts, finding him standing between my knees. His large calloused palms from his training, cradles my face as if I'm some delicate porcelain vase.

"....I......"

"Don't say anything if you can't........." He spoke, as his thumb brushes over the tears that rolled down unknowingly. 

Finally I could swallow snapping back to reality, as I kiss his palm taking his hands away from my face and held them close to my chest. "I'm okay.........I'm okay, but I think I need to pay someone a visit......." I assure him, as he steps back to give me room to step down onto the ground. ".........I know someone is hurting more than me, so I need to send a letter......"

Turning back inside I walk towards Sanemi's small office room, and knelt down finding paper, brush and ink and began to write my letter immediately.

However with every stroke comes more rigid or rushed, trying to ignore the fact his death impacted me greatly. Placing the brush down I scrunch the paper, and restarted a few times which was unlike me to fumble with my writing. Splotches of ink taints my fingertips after minutes trying, before finally I written a letter and let that sit and dry for a moment. Sitting there I began to think about Kaito, about how's feeling in witnessing a Hashira's death. I wonder how he handled it? 

What got my curious........why was there an upper rank demon on the scene, when they just defeated a Lower rank demon just before? Two strong demons in one place, it was no coincidence right?

"Hayami.......are you going to check on Kaito?" Sanemi questions, hearing his feet padding his way towards me. He kneels down beside me seeing the scattered pieces of failed letter attempts, feeling his gaze upon me. "Kanroji, huh? Guess I didn't think about it too much.........but she was Rengoku's pupil once right? They knew each other before she rose the ranks....?"

Nodding in response with a gentle hum, before seeing him picking up the papers and placed them in stone vase and lights it til they're burning into ash.

"We'll make sure those demon will meet their end," He swore firmly, his voice gravelling in anger and assurance. He packs up the desk while the letter dries for a moment, "This is only the beginning, since that thick skulled brat showed up............things have been happening as you've noticed...."

"I guess........" I murmur, before touching the writing to make sure it was dry. Once it was I folded it up into four squares and slipped it around a clip on Nami's ankle, where she was perched on the floor. ".........take this to Mitsuri Kanroji........"

With that Nami flaps her wings and flew out of the room, leaving me with Sanemi who was also still processing the fact we lost a hashira. This wasn't a joke.....something is coming, it was very unsettling.

~*~

A WEEK LATER ~ AT THE BUTTERFLY MANSION

Next few days was harder to walk through......

Rengoku's funeral was arranged and had been acknowledged, hearing only a few words and his father however was rather grouchy at the service. Standing there in black and grey, listening to the ritual being performed. It was even more beautiful, than my brother's funeral. Even I got to see young Senjuro, Rengoku's little brother who couldn't perform breathing techniques. If so, he would've been the next Flame hashira which I knew he was frustrated about.

Even saying a few words myself, I held back my tears and gave my respect to the Rengoku family.

"Help!" A high pitch voice cries out. "Mr Tanjiro has gone missing!!! Oh, Mr Zenitsu, I'm so sorry!!!!"

Standing at the corner of the corridor to the butterfly mansion, I peer around to find the yellow haired boy on the ground in a mess of buns and a blood nose. One of the young butterfly girls was alarmed, while I resume walking around to find Kaito. Zenitsu I assume that's his name sat up, while i approach the two slowly. 

".......I'm so sorry sir, but Mr Tanjiro can't be found!" Miss Terauchi continues to cry, while preventing Zenitu's nose from bleeding too much. "Even worse, his wounds haven't healed, and he's training again! Miss Shinobu told him he should be resting in bed, but he didn't listen and now we don't know what we should do--"

The two noticed my presence and immediately stiffens in response, but I give them a warm smile of assurance.

Shaking my head, "Don't worry, I'm no snitch..........." I assure them, with a calm approach. "...........I think I saw Young Kamado not long ago, on my way here. I think he's got some business to attend.........it was important so don't stress okay?"

My hand gently pats little Kiyo's head, earning a small sniffle and nod.

"....okay," her voice cracks, with a small whimper.

"But seriously, with the stomach wound he's--" Zenitsu protests, only for the door to slam open abruptly behind us. My eyes flicker to meet cold green eyes, staring towards Zenitsu's. 

"Just let it go," Kaito says, dismissively. 

Zenitsu trails off, "But......."  

Just looking at Kaito see him with minor injuries brought relief, but the look within his eyes told me everything to know what was going on inside. With my final thoughts I turn to the two and bid them goodbye, before ushering Kaito to come with me. He was hesitant as if something was pulling him back, but my eyes spoke clearly to get my message through to him. With that I walk down the hallway to the back gardens to have some privacy, and slowly reached the small bridge over a small pond towards the pergola and turned to him.

"I'm sorry........." I spoke gently, my tone full of pain and regret.

His jaw was clenched and tight, fighting back the numbness in his throat. Hands balled and his eyes averting from my own, as if he was filled with real pain this time. A loss.

"How did you do it..........?" His utters out, his voice strains with his question. His breath comes out shaky and forced, ".........How watched him die, and I stood there unable to p-prevent it.....and I........s-stood there...." his voice becomes breathy and more strained, before he swallows thickly.

My eyes flicker away from his stiff stature, "It's never easy, when you have to watch them die......" I spoke up, with a heavy dragging sigh. ".......Rengoku was and will forever be an amazing Hashira, I will greatly admire. How a fiery and outgoing young man he was, filled with determination and drive to slay all demons...........despite what others thought of his boisterous personality."

I felt his eyes upon me at the corner of my eye, "You two seemed rather closer........"

"Close enough to have a level of respect," I correct him, before smiling softly. "What happened that day, was not your fault......okay?--"

"Yes! Yes it was my fault!!" He begins to protest; trying to take it all upon himself. His face was red, his eyes were bloodshot and his hair was unkempt. "Despite his injuries and the energy he lost saving all those people.......he went up against that damn Demon who had better chances in winning because of the disadvantages Lord Rengoku had! I'm nothing! I'm worthless, he deserved better than this.........he is better of a man than I could ever be!!!"

Tears began to flow down his cheeks, with his green iris' reflecting into my own silver ones. The pain of survivors guilt.......I understood all too well.......

Walking towards him my hands reach out and cupped his face, "I know better than you, that it was not your fault......you fought and saved many people from that train," I spoke firmly, with my voice filled with tenderness and praise. "You cooperated and worked with those three boys and under Lord Rengoku's supervision, and not one person died that night. Why? Because you did your very damn best.....got that? I didn't train you to think your a failure, I'm training you to become a man you desire to be. Kamado, Hashibira, Agatsuma and you took this heavy mission and survived."

He tries to tear his eyes from mine, but I gently held his chin; making him look at me.

"I'm so proud of you, Kaito," I praise him, brushing a few strays of hair from his eyes. His cheeks and eyes were red from the tears, as he sniffles with a small sob. "Thankyou for surviving, Rengoku would be so proud......."

Kaito nods slowly, "He also told me to tell you that 'That he's glad to be your ally, and comrade.......and that you've grown into a strong woman......as well as Lady Kanroji,"

The urge to tear up right here and now was tempting, but I held it in and swallowed thickly with a smile.

Pressing a soft kiss to his temple I whisper, "Thankyou....." before pulling away, and combed my fingers through