~*~

UBUYASHIKI ESTATE

This is such a nuisance.......

"Well aren't you something? Hey...." My eyes filled with rage. ".....Master Ubuyashiki!!!"

Seeing the man himself made me sick, his face with an awful shade of purple scars marred over his temple and almost beneath his eyes. Eyes pale violet, and one seemed blind. Raven hair neatly brushed and framing his face evenly. Sitting there with a gentle amicable smile, and his hands were that of a woman's with how smooth and pure they were.

My jaw clenches tightly, not caring what the other Pillar's thought of me.

There were at least six present before the master, and three of them were taller than myself. One blind and quiet, one too bright and flashy, and the other looks familiar but I've never met him before. Even the elder sister Kocho was there, and some gloomy looking one as well.

"Shinazugawa....it appears you do not understand...." A strong voice spoke, seeing it was that Stone Pillar. His hands pressed together, large red beads dangling from his wrists. "....how to speak properly."

Clenching my jaw with a slight growl, I went to speak when...

"It's all right Gyomei," Ubuyashiki assures him. "Let him speak, I don't mind."

"But master....." Kanae insists softly, despite my rude introduction. 

The master nods with assurance, "It's all right, Kanae...." his pale violet eyes met mine, and it made me sick with all this bullshit. My anger was still boiling, and I was only getting started.

"You've got no shame! You make me sick!!!" I spoke loudly, not giving a shit what the rest think. "You only think of corps members as pawns to be used and tossed aside! You've barely even tried martial arts or anything else....I can tell just by looking at you!"

My frustration, my anger towards these people grew and grew. My chest burning and aching with rage I've held in for, since Kumeno drew his last breath.

"But you're the head of the Demon slayer corps!" I continue on, with a sneer. "It's pathetic! I've had it with all this!!!!"

Silence fills the air after my heavy rant, towards him expecting some retaliation. Yet, he lifts his head with a gentle smile, "I'm sorry...."

Taken back for a moment, with that simple apology before he continues.

"I tried swinging a sword.......but it made my heart pound and I couldn't do it ten times," he explain calmly, with a soft tone. "I would have been like you if I could have. I wanted to be a strong swordsman and protect others' lives with my own body....but.......it was impossible for me. I'm sorry to have to ask you to do such difficult things."

I couldn't say....anything to that...

The look on Master's face made me think of my mother. Overflowing affection from him like parents show toward their own children.....was gently caressing my cheek...... 

"If you are pawns......then I am a sacrificial piece too," Ubuyashiki claims strongly. "And if a single piece like myself that moves the Demon Slayer corps were to die, nothing would change. My replacement is already here, " gesturing to his child beside him, with raven short hair. 

"This is your first time at a gathering of The Hashira......so I think you misunderstand......" His eyes remain on me, with his full attention. "....I do not place myself higher than you or anything like that......but everyone just treats me that way. If that bothers you, you don't have to along with it. Instead of worrying about that, defend the lives of others as a Hashira. That is my only request. I'm sorry to summon you so soon after Masachika's death. You were close like brothers, which must make it even harder."

My eyes slowly widen in surprise, "His name......"

"Shinazugawa," Kocho turns to me. "Ever since Master Ubuyashiki became our leader....he has memorised all the names and backgrounds of corps members who have died..."

My body froze and my blood ran cold, guilt settling deep down in my heart.

But.......even I.....can't remember the names of all the corps members I have fought with who died...

Master rose to his feet and slowly walks towards me, his child holding his hand to steady himself, "Sanemi.....all the children of the Demon Slayer Corps.....write their own will...." he carefully steps down from the verandah, as his son placed his sandals on the pebbles before sliding into them. He pulls something from his sleeve, "Strangely the contents of those wills.....are mostly similar. Masachika's was the same. I have been thinking about giving it to you."

He passed me the neatly folded will of paper, as I took it delicately. 

"Masachika thought of you.....like the younger brother he lost," He continues, while I unfold it scanning across. "He dreamed of a shining future. Just like my dream. A wish for loved ones to smile. To live happily until the day they die....and to never have their lives cruelly threatened."

Even if you can't be by their side.....we want them to live. We want them to survive.

My hand shakes as the paper crinkles in my hands stunned by this, this revelation that Masachika wasn't forgotten. Closing my eyes I inhale and exhale slowly, knowing today is the day I take the mantle of the Wind Hashira. Though this was both Kumeno and I's dream, the guilt settles in the pits of my stomach. Recalling the gory setting where he laid in my arms, drawing his last breath made me realise how precious life is. 

The meeting soon came to a close, when a dark shadow casts over. 

"Oi......you and I need to talk," A different voice spoke up, before seeing that guy again. He looks very familiar, but a shadow casts over his eyes. 

"Why should I? Huh?" I sneer quietly, when his large hand grips my shoulder firmly causing me to grimace. 

"Follow, and no questions," He sternly spoke, before dragging me without hesitation. Getting sorry looks from the other Hashira's, I wasn't sure if my life was gonna end or how this will play out. Shoving his hand off I growl under my breath, before following him somewhere secluded as if he was planning my execution. Or even a lecture.

"Where are we even goin--"

He turn around and folds his arms and held an apathetic demeanour, but his eyes bore into mine, "So......Shinazugawa, we haven't met properly," he raises a hand, with a firm tone. "The name is Ryuji, Ryuji Mizutsuki.....The Water Dragon Pillar, or Dragon for short...."

Surprised by how everything clicked, my face remains neutral and stoic.

He had short raven hair with white ombre end like Hayami's, but hers was a deep turquoise colour instead with white ends. His face worn a scar from his cheek, across his nose to below his eye, but held a pretty boy face. The way he presented himself just now was intimidating, but it didn't make me waver.

"I didn't like how you spoke to master, let alone get away with it by Master himself," His brows furrows, glowering down upon me. His tone gave it away that he wasn't pleased, "Such behaviour should be dealt with punishment--"

"Huh?! I'm not up for this right now," I bitterly growl, with zero interest waving my hand in disinterest. About to take a few steps on my way out of the Demon Slayer Corps grounds, a firm grip clamped down on my shoulder tightly. Grimacing from the strength, my head whips to see his silver eyes darken. "What the hell do you need? This is pointless..."

"Are you in contact with my sister?" 

My blood began to boil when he mentions Hayami, even having the audacity to grab my shoulder without a real reason. Swatting his grip away from me, I step back and turned back with my full attention. "Why do you want to know?"

The question itself weighed on me, but I had my own reasons.

"...because I don't think you're fit to fight beside her, and now you're a Hashira..." he began vehemently, his words filled with gravity. ".....I want you to stay away from her. She doesn't need to be surrounded by such a repulsive delinquent with no filter."

"WHAT'D YOU SAY?!!" I snap angrily, my teeth grinding together.

 My breath became heavy filled with mixed emotions about it all, and this guy was pissing me off more and more. About to draw my blade, his hand shot out grabbing the hilt and clamped it down shut. In confusion, I found myself hitting the pebbled ground hard knocking the wind from my lungs. Grunting from the impact, the slight stinging sensation of my wounds, reopen. "Shit," with a croaky groan.

Ryuji's glare was dangerous and impassive, trying to be the cool guy.

"You listen here, I'm not gonna tell you twice!" his foot dug into my shoulder, grinding it back into the pebbles. Inhaling through my nose sharply, all I could think was about Masachika's will and his last words to take care of Hayami.

"I don't give a shit, I've been by her side more than you have as of late," I spat venomously, my eyes filled with rage that hasn't mellowed out since the mission. His foot dug deeper into my shoulder, causing some of my wounds to throb painfully. "I won't apologise to you, but......I do see Master differently--"

"Ryuji, get off him now!!!!!"

Lifting my head I saw Kocho rushing towards us both, before Ryuji lets his guard down for a moment. With a straining groan I push myself to my feet, dusting myself off before lifting my blade that managed to fall out from my belt. With the chime of my blade sliding down with a clank, i place it back between my hip and belt before making my way somewhere but here. 

"Hold it!"

Halting my steps my jaw clenched tightly, "I don't want your bullshit, I'm a Hashira now....don't look down on me..." with a subtle growl in my voice. "....the least you could do is back off. I don't need anyone, and I don't need to be fucking lectured."

Blood seeps through my gauzed bandages, but I bit the bullet and mustered forth.

"Shinazugawa, your wounds," Kocho gasps in surprise, but I wave my hand dismissively. This was just wasting my time, I didn't want anything else from them. I've lost someone close again, and this time I'm fucking sick of it. Then being told what to do, especially to back away from someone who doesn't have much.

Shaking my head I walk away, "Don't need your damn pity," with a murmur.

~*~

A FEW DAYS LATER 

Kneeling down I place a set of flowers and Ohagi upon the gravestone, as an offering to Masachika. Covering the incense with one hand, I lit a stick as a thin line of smoke trails in the air above. The silence was heavy, my shoulders weighed heavier than ever before. With a troubling sigh, my jaw loosens for a moment.

"In the end...." my voice barely a whisper. "....I didn't know anything about you."

I only found out recently that Masachika in fact had a younger brother, who had been killed by a demon before his eyes. Or even the fact Masachika blamed himself for his brother's death, despite his parents' constant reassurances. Or that he brushed off his mother as she begged him, weeping, not to throw his own life away by joining the Demon Slayer corps.

I've only see one side of him, the majority I've known his cheerful, unruffled surface. 

I only assumed he came from a peaceful background, a carefree life. But deep down underneath all the carefree and cheery smile, Masachika shared the same undying hatred of demons the same as me. He just dealt with it in his own way, and wouldn't allow anyone or even myself to see that side of him. 

Though I saw it for his last moments.....

I couldn't blame him now that I understood about the battle with Ubume, when he was driven into a deeper rage. In Ubume's young victims, he'd seen his own lost little brother. No wonder he'd always played big brother to me, insisting to call me his own brother whenever he got the chance. 

"Guess I look like a little brother to you, huh?" I murmur to him, my eyes taking in every detail of his name engraved on the stone. 

We weren't that much apart in age, despite the differences, I've always found him like a peer or even a pesky little brother.

The corner of my lips turn slightly up, "You really were the most difficult big brother ever," with a weak chuckle.

~

'Sanemi, let's go get beef hotpot!'

'Sanemi, I picked up some ohagi. Put on the tea!'

'Aw, I lost again! You've got some nerve, Sanemi. Let your big brother keep his dignity!'

'Now, now. How are you gonna attract girls if you make that face?'

'Sanemi! I caught you a rhinoceros beetle. Cut up some watermelon and save a slice for me'

'You were looking at Hayami, weren't ya? Go talk to her again!'

'Make sure.....to live your life...."

~

He has always taught me not to give up on life, but....what about his life? Was it happy? Falling silent again, I sighed heavily for a moment basking the scent of the incense. My eyes remain down, reminiscing on all the moment I've spent with him. A gentle breeze skims past my cheeks, fluttering my hair subtly.

The sound of feet walks from behind, before seeing her knee down placing iris' beside mine.

She closed her eyes clasping her hands together in prayer, while I focus on the gravestone. She hasn't spoken a word since his death, nor spoken a word to me. To be honest, I didn't understand her story and how she came across Masachika before me. Soon her head rose, lowering her hands she turns to me with a faint weak smile.

With a gentle mellow voice, "How are you feeling?"

Why is she asking me that now? She shouldn't be.....I'm fine. 

"Fine,"

Simple as my answer was, I hated the fact that my pride was taking over me again.

She took a deep breath in for a moment, noticing she shifted her attention back to the gravestone. Her fingertips grazing across the old stone, and moss that layered roughly across the faint writing of Kumeno's brother. The pain within her eyes was enough to know how much he meant to her, and my question still stands. 

"You knew everything.......didn't you?" I assume calmly, my voice clear and firm. "Why was I kept in the dark.....why did I--"

"I didn't know that he kept it from you," She replies, cutting me off. Her answer clear, but I couldn't tell if she was lying or covering it up. "All I know was he wasn't a slayer when we first met, when he was roughly nine at the time. His younger brother was about a year younger than myself, but that was only because one of the generals from my home......were friends with his father. It was only brief."

"Generals? So it was only through ties...." I dryly scoff, averting my eyes from her own.

"On the night you saved me from hypothermia, that was the first I saw kumeno in years...." She admits, reminding me of that night. 

She was bleeding out in the snow, her skin pale as a sheet and wounds jagged and deep. For a moment I hesitated saving her, only because I didn't want to get close with anyone else. Then demons were preying on her, and a part of myself wanted to save her. She was lucky to have survived that night, and now it was a night of a blessing. 

For once I haven't regretted saving her that night......

"....so I never knew his brother passed, nor knew he would become a slayer," She finishes, before standing up on her two feet. Taking in her attire, it seems she was ready for another mission. Standing up myself I tower over her, noticing her eyes not breaking away from the stone. It was like seeing her breaking inside, but she soon clears her throat and turns to me with a gentle smile of assurance.

"So to answer.......I was only told a few months back," She claims firmly, her brow slightly creases. "Anyway......I have a mission underway, with a few other younger slayers. I'm leading this time, so I must go before it gets dark..."

She turns on her heel, when my hand reaches out latching around her wrist tugging her back. A small subtle gasp parts from her lips, while she was left in confusion.           

"Wait!" my voice hung in the air, causing her to step back towards me. Should I suggest it? Should I ask her now?

"Hmm?"

Clicking my teeth in irritation, "Argh........can we.......go grab....." my tongue felt like lead, weighing heavily the more I think about Kumeno's wish. "......some sweets and tea, the promise Kumeno made......." as I didn't give a damn what he brother asked of me, to avoid her. She's done nothing wrong, and I'm not gonna allow a hot shot to intimidate me.

Her eyes widen with a flash of fresh tears well in them, before she smiles with a nod.

"Sounds nice, I would like that," She pulls her wrist from my grip, before taking my hand giving it a warm grip of comfort. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone, okay?"

With a scoff I roll my eyes, "Yeah, yeah.......I won't," 

Taking her leave I watch her figure disappear from my view, as my heart felt warmth. Grasping at my chest for a moment, it felt whole and filled with assurance. What were these emotions I'm feeling? 

They feel unfamiliar, and yet........familiar from years ago....

Turning back to the grave my eyes hung heavy for a moment, and knelt down running my calloused fingers over the rough stone, resting my palm against it. The silence was finally surrounding me, able to hear his voice faintly in my head for the last time. Before I forget his voice. I can't, but that's how it is. 

"Thankyou......Masachika," I murmur softly. "For showing me the way, when I didn't see it...."

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