jeonghan was slurring and shuffling. joshua retracted his hand from the latter's hair, and waited for him to wake up.

"ugh... my head hurts.." jeonghan stretched his arms and legs, hitting joshua a little. jeonghan looked up at the feeling of someone brushing against his arm. "oh! joshuji! you're here!" jeonghan opened his arms wide. at first, joshua thought he was just stretching—but jeonghan stayed like that for five seconds.

that meant that jeonghan was asking for a hug, so joshua hugged him. "hey, angel. they're having an afterparty in the eleventh floor, wanna come?"

jeonghan was utterly speechless at what joshua called him, but he composed himself and answered. angel, again? he's really making me fall hard for him. "i won't drink alcohol if that's so."

"good, wanna go now?" joshua pulled away from the hug and looked at jeonghan. "jeonghan? do you still want to doze off for a bit?"

he's so caring. jeonghan thinks, staring at the man in front of him. jeonghan likes remembering that this is the man that he loves, and having him care for jeonghan is a huge thing. some even don't get noticed by the people they love, but here jeonghan is, being privileged of having joshua care for him.

how would it feel like if he loved me? probably the best feeling the world. if he thinks nothing of jeonghan but a friend, then being loved by joshua must be like living in cloud nine. don't get jeonghan wrong, he was happy with what he had with joshua, but he'll always wish for joshua to love him back. is he that unbearable? for nobody to love him as much as he loves them?

"j-jeonghan, you're crying." joshua worriedly asked, making jeonghan snap back to reality. "why are you crying?"

"you'd know how i feel if you were in my place. tell me instead, joshua, how did it feel loving gumi?" jeonghan asked. jeonghan was a little happy that he didn't see joshua's eyes sparkle upon the mention of his ex-lover's name. it would really hurt if joshua showed signs of excitement towards her.

"gumi was a very tough and straightforward girl. at first, all i had towards her was hate. but when i cracked her shell open, i found out that there was a lot of wonderful things that are very admirable about her. she was beautiful," joshua nods. "honestly, i don't even know if she loved me. maybe she just needed a body to use for her desires.

"but even if she showed little signs, i continued loving her like a blind fool. that dragged on until she baited me and i found seungcheol. gumi... she's something else, i admit, but i'm over her."

so joshua has experienced love. then why can't he see jeonghan desperately trying to reach his heart? "joshua... i'm glad that she showed you that she loved you too. even the tiniest bit."

"what do you mean?"

"joshua... i love someone, and they can't even pretend that they love me back. because maybe he really doesn't, and it breaks my heart, you know?" jeonghan lets his tears fall. "i-i—no, i'm sorry, i asked if you can just let me love you and you haven't even answered yet. i'm sorry. i will stop this nonsense once and for all." jeonghan sits up, preparing to stand up, but joshua stops him.

"jeonghan, why me?" joshua asks, eyes on jeonghan. jeonghan felt a little unusual, since joshua never bothered to look at him.

"because you're the best fucking person out there? you're fucking smart, an all-around guy, caring, you can sing, you let me hang around you—just because! one day, i woke up, and i just love you, okay!" jeonghan explains, wiping his tears away.

indeed, why joshua?

"fuck... i'm jealous of gumi." jeonghan ran his hand through his hair, tired. "let's just go, joshua."

"jeonghan, you're always so stupid. firstly, you're impulsive and you panic when a conflict arises—"

"i know i'm stupid!"

"don't interrupt!" joshua raises his voice. "jeonghan, you're fucking blind. don't you know why i gave up my parka that chilly night in seoul tower? why i almost pulled the trigger on gumi at the restaurant? why i always look away when you're with seungcheol? why i bought you those cookies and smiled everytime you cracked a fortune cookie open? why i let you flirt on me, call me stupid nicknames—it's because i've fallen so fucking hard for you, jeonghan!"

jeonghan finally smiled.

"what the heck, junhui? where did the rest of your shorts go?" minghao asks, looking at junhui judgingly. junhui's shorts were almost qualified as briefs, plus it was tight. what is he trying to pull off here?

mingyu laughed. "oh god. your shorts suck." mingyu points to junhui's shorts, then high fives with minghao.

"hey, when did you two become friends?!" junhui growled, not minding if he got a small crowd around him. "look—these are the only shorts i have left! i know it's winter, but like, i don't feel like wearing pants."

"i'm surprised your legs still aren't frozen by now." minghao comments. "let's just go, the mall's getting pretty crowded. stupid consequences." the two of his companions follow him.

"yeah, it's my fault that we lost because i said that i was a doctor all of a sudden—but junhui was reacting a little more extra to everythigg bg i say so we got caught!" mingyu retorted, referring to the mafia game yesterday. the mafia, consisting of junhui, minghao and mingyu, lost. "and the consequence. really? giving us their wishlist for christmas? can't they just wait?!"

"wait, what the fuck. you have an ability that could help us with that!" junhui replied. "you didn't seem to clever to know that, huh?"

"oh, right!" minghao snaps his fingers. "let's just buy paper of different sizes to match the ridiculous things on their wishlist. let's go?"

"no, just wait, i'll buy it alone." mingyu glared at junhui who was sticking out his tongue at him. he doesn't want to deal with that. "meet you at the fountain by the entrance. bye!"

"alright. let's go to the fountain and wait." minghao declares. junhui follows suit, winking at a few girls who giggled at him.

honestly, junhui was trying to pick up some girls with his short shorts. and that was what exactly happened, so junhui definitely knew that the insults from his colleague was worth it.

minghao suddenly wolf whistled. "i forgot that you are still a single ass craving for some...hole to get your meat in."

junhui huffed at minghao in annoyance. minghao just laughs. "you make it sound so sexual! anyway, my body is the only thing that can attract girls fast. they say my humour and personality is weird. and they don't want weird."

minghao gasped, as if he found junhui's statement offensive. "who said your humor was weird? i totally agree with them!" and then it gets followed by giggles. junhui shook his head. "but we still laugh at your jokes and antics. sometimes, when you're just staring at us—we laugh full on."

"yeah, but the girls i like don't find that attractive. what will i do with you guys? get in a thirteen-some because you guys appreciate my humor?" junhui asked, making minghao's laughter double up. soon, junhui joined in as well.

"yeah, i'm not fond of your weird personality as well. idolizing me and stuff when you're clearly better than me, but you know what? your weird personality and humour is the one i like best among everyone else's. not too basic, not too faked, not too extravagant or exotic." minghao explained. "it's something rare and enjoyable for me."

"wow.... are you even minghao?"

"i just complimented you and you return it with a fucking insult!" minghao quipped, making junhui laugh. "weird ass."

"thanks, i worked out for it," junhui eyes his buttocks, before giving minghao a thumbs up sign. minghao was in a fit of laughter again.

"i didn't mean literally!"

"yeah, i know. i was trying to make you laugh." junhui smiled genuinely. minghao's laughter died down. "what? do i have something in my face?"

"you're a good one. i think i'm gonna keep you," minghao giggled and playfully headlocked the taller. "weird ass."