~*~

SHIGANSHINA SCOUT HQ

"Section Commander, the preparations going for the gravestones for our fallen comrades are underway" 

Walking down the HQ hallways I felt my pace out of time, sluggish and filled with such exhaustion from what occurred a few hours ago. 

"Section Commander, what will we do now that we have Eren Yeager?" Another scout questions.

I just need some damn sleep.......

"Section Commander Akira--"

Turning to the few Scouts trailing behind me, as my eyes flicker across them all acknowledging their presence, "Enough! Eren Yeager is left under Commander Hanji's surveillance, and there will be more discuss in the few days to come," I quickly answer sharply, feeling my breath draw heavier than expected.

Their eyes widen in surprise by my outburst, while I shook my head trying to dismiss the discomfort of guilt and anger that gradually surfaces from the root of all problems.

"Everyone can get some damn sleep, and we'll start fresh later!" I add, before walking away towards my assigned quarters for the morning. My hair messily covers my eyes, finding everything overwhelming as if the world was weighing my shoulders again. Just going out there and having to kill, reminded me when the 104th, Levi and I were on the run by Kenny. It brought back a memory, I wanted to tuck away. 

It was a trigger, that was ready to be fired.........

Opening the wide oak wood doors, I slip inside and closed it abruptly with a heavy exhale leaving me. Without wasting a second this burning sensation, became anger as my body ran hot in frustration. Fumbling with my buckles I try to unbuckle them, but I kept failing by ever second. "godammit," I mutter under my breath, as it grew heavier by the second.

My body went hot to cold instantly, feeling myself becoming unbalanced with emotions that were foreign or familiar to me. 

Sitting down on the Queen sized bed, the mattress sinks beneath my weight as I began taking my boots off. Sweat glistens under the morning light, as it streams into the room reminding me that it was morning. Standing back up I walk over, and closed the curtains before hearing the doors open and close. Eyes met with his own steel blue ones, I didn't know how to converse or utter a word except with silent rage within me. 

He walks over to me steadily while I tried to remain calm, as his hands find their way around me and held me close.

"I'm sorry......" He whispers quietly.

Shaking my head I burying face into the crook of his neck, "Don't be, please?"

He pulls away and cups my face delicately, "Baby, it's your fault," his thumbs drew soothing circles against my cheekbones. "Death comes for you, no matter how many times you try to evade it......just like Erwin....our fallen comrades.....everyone. I'm here....'kay?" 

His lips soothingly press against mine, as my eyes flutter closed feeling tears roll down in defeat. Our lips move slowly with patience, with his fingertips caressing my cheeks, before trailing down my neck towards my hips and pulled me in closer and securely. 

Pulling away he leans his temple against mine, "I know I'm not good at consoling people, and her death took me by surprise......." he admits softly, as his lips begin tracing over my cheek and jawline. ".......but I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. I guess it's been a few years since we last went onto the battlefield, that.....we forgot that it hurts."

"It hurts.......Levi, it fucking hurts so much," 

"I know baby......" His lips press against the corner of my lips, as he slowly unbuckles the straps that wrapped around my body. He continues to help me out of my uniform, slowly and patiently finding the state we're in to be more sensitive than what we would've liked to be. Slowly he unzips my black turtleneck shirt to the middle of my back, as he slips the sleeves down pressing lingering kisses to my shoulder and the juncture of my neck.

His hot breath coaxes over my flushed skin, as his touch begins to calm my senses all around to a level of comfort.

He then began to take off his straps and gear off slowly, before revealing his more softer and muscular physique. A few flaws here and there, but his eyes kept me at peace finding solace in him. It felt so wrong to crave his touch, his love when we've lost comrades of ours. His fingers then slid off the rest of his clothes leaving him in his briefs before helping me out of mine, as his lips found mine again.

"Let's just allow things to cool off for a bit," he whispers, pressing another chaste kiss to my cheek. He leans closer to my ear with a quiet undertone, "I know this is off subject, but......tomorrow about late morning I'm assigned to escort that Zeke Yeager on house arrest within the Forest of Giant trees, just in case something goes wrong."

My eyes narrow in response, "Why in case? Do you expect a retaliation?"

He sighs an pull away, "Not sure, but I know it's not safe to bring our son back with us due to the circumstances," he replies, eyes flickering to the closed windows briefly. "He's under good care, and I can't risk it after our attack on Liberio. You know things are gonna go ALWOL once Marley retaliate, so inform a secret letter to Karanes District to Mrs Becker."

To be honest Levi was right, because right now things are becoming dire and we just had eight of our scouts die at Marley's hands. Next would be all of Paradis, if things go to shit...

"Alright, I'll inform Lena to send a letter," I assure him, as he takes my hand interlacing them. Bringing my knuckles to his lips, he kisses them one by one slowly and softly.

"Your injuries? How are they holding up?" He asks softly, gesturing to my gauzed bicep that had to be wrapped around beneath my left breast for support. "Still can't believe you almost got shot twice in the same spot...."

"I'm here, aren't I?" 

He scoffs dryly as he sits down on the mattress and takes my hand, pulling me to join him;  sinking my knee into the mattress to support myself. Crawling over I slid beneath the sheets and snuggled into him, grimacing slightly with pressure applied to my bicep. He gathers me into arms, as my face meets his own cheek and kisses me again more sweetly. "Let's get some sleep, before I have to drag that monkey's ass before he plans something," he sighs deeply, finding my body slowly succumbing to sleep.

"That sounds about.....right,"

~*~

AT THE CEMETERY

You think you're used to death, but it still hurts more than you realise......

The overcast shadowing the graves that were placed one by one, by our own hands were drenched by the spots of rain that gradually begin to shower. Ears were ringing around me, and voices muffled surrounding in my own guilt. My chest felt like it was being crushed, suffocating me as I wanted to forget how to breath. I'm meant to be Section Commander Akira Ackerman, Paradis' hope and path to the future with Levi.

Yet, I couldn't even protect her ...........or even the other eight soldiers that have fallen.......

Droplets glide along my eyelashes, dropping to my cheeks and resumed sliding down to the muddy grounds. No one could tell you're crying, which made it easier to hold it back I guess, but I held nothing but anger. That small child managed to shoot her, just like that? A small little warrior inheritor? She kind of reminds me of Eren, boisterous and very eager to eradicate the enemy without hesitation.

Like parallels those two are, even just by a glimpse I could tell.....

Sasha was like a daughter of mine, despite the gap we share in age. I've practically raised her like my own, along with the 104th. From the very beginning long before she became a soldier, her family traded well-bred horses to the scouts. Her father are so well acquainted, that I'm even scared to utter a word to him. To his wife. It was my fault for being careless, especially underestimating the two children.

"HEY! Aren't you a Marleyan?!" A voice abruptly shouts, knocking out of my numbed state. "What the hell are you doing?! This graveyard is full of people your kind killed! You have no right--"

"Hey stop!!!!!" Connie and Jean rush towards the scene, like brothers would.

"Let us take care of this guy!" Jean suggests, before uttering quiet words whilst storming over towards the commotion, leaving Mikasa curled up against Sasha's grave. Making my way over, my boots squelch in the muddy ground, with my forest green overcoat soaked right through to the bone. Seeing the military shove Jean off, my eyes narrow towards the man.

"I hope you can keep yourself civilised, Bauer," I sharply spoke, with a steady tone.

The military soldier scoffs, "Damn Scouts," he mutters, before storming off with bitterness contorting his face. 

Sighing with discomfort in this time, all I could do was try and keep myself maintained and level headed. 

Walking over to see Jean and Connie's grave remorseful expressions, there stood Nicolo with devastation within his eyes. He's anti-Marleyan cook, that Levi threatened to kill when he first arrived and used him as a hostage. Now things have changed so much, that he became important in Sasha's life because of his amazing cooking. It was so delicious, that i left his restaurant happy and nourished with an enjoyable flavour.

Just by the time I got over there, jean seems to be filling Nicolo in what had happened and how she was killed. 

He looked pale in the face that I was concerned for him, but he had every right to be angry. This mission was to be less bloodshed, just casualties at most or even least. No one could predict this, and even I myself couldn't protect Sasha. She didn't deserve this at all, no one deserves to die like that. Mikasa seemed to caught interest and joined the three, as we both approach the boys in the middle of the explanation.

"....Shot by a kid who snuck onto the airship?" Nicolo breaths out, in disbelief. He knelt before Sasha's grave, flowers decorated the muted and melancholy coloured headstone. "It's too ridiculous to be true."

"It wasn't an ordinary kid," Mikasa breaks the silence. "The girl has been trained."

A scoff leaves the chef, "Sounds like a warrior candidate," he assumes. 

"Should've kept my guard up, I'm sorry," Jean mutters out, cursing himself with the way his breathe was shaky. 

The chef shook his head as droplets of rain falls through his blonde curly locks, "Why apologise to me?" he weakly questions. "All I did was cook her a meal or two...."

Connie places a firm grip on Nicolo's shoulder, "Thank you," he spoke up, wearily. "Thank you for every tasty meal you made for her, Nicolo."

"How are you....taking it, Connie?" Nicolo's voice becomes gravely, and filled with exhaustion. A shadow casts over his tired eyes, indicating how much this has impacted him. 

"Sasha and I were like twins," Connie spoke softly. "So it feels like half of me is just......gone."

Standing quietly before Sasha's grave beneath the light shower of rain, I soon hear footsteps rustling in the grass from behind me. Glancing over for a moment, my eyes met with Mr Braus, Mrs Braus and young Kaya I assume. He soon lowered his hat as everyone acknowledges her family, "Section Commander, and y'all were friends with my daughter, Sasha?" 

Sasha's mother steps forward and lays down the bouquet of flowers, and gently laid it down upon the other bouquets. 

Stepping back i allowed the Braus family to have a moment, as my jaw hardens feeling like it was all on me. Even if I blamed Eren for the matter of dragging us into this, having to rescue him..........maybe another outcome would've taken Sasha's life as well. Hearing the sounds of her mother and sisters cries, left my heart sinking further in despair not knowing what to say or do.

I felt utterly stuck, and responsible for all this.......

"Uh, Pardon!" A voice breaks the silence, noticing Nicolo steps forward towards the three. Mr Braus glances over, "I'm just a captive Marleyan, but I have permission to work as a chef. Your daughter loved my cooking, more than anyone else ever will, I think. So...um, if you ever want to......please come and let me cook you something."

There was still silence as Mrs Braus slowly recovers from her tears, as Mr Braus steps forward lifting his hand to Nicolo.

"This would be on the house, right?" He asks gently, with his thick bumpkin accent of his. 

Nicolo gasps with a smile and takes his hand with a shake, "Yeah,"

After a while Nicolo left the cemetery along with Mikasa, Jean and Connie as well paying respects in departure. However Jean was hesitant and soon walks back over, resting a comforting hand upon my shoulder. Swallowing thickly was hard to do so, especially I could read within his eyes. Telling me it wasn't my fault, regardless the situation. 

"It is.......I'll take her death on board," I claim shakily, finding my hands shaking for a moment. Blinking away the salty tears that threaten to spill, I avert my eyes from his trying to not let it get to me. This guilt. 

"Section Commander....."

Shaking my head, "You go get yourself cleaned up, your soaked to the bone," I chuckle through my awaiting tears, patting his soaked overcoat. 

His brows narrow about to protest, "But--"

"Please, Jean?" I whisper quietly, nudging him to following with Connie and Mikasa. He kept glancing back, but soon catches up with his friends allowing me to turn to Sasha's family. Mr Braus acknowledged me before, as he walks over to me and gives me a tender warm smile. 

"Mrs Ackerman, thank you," He rests his hat on his chest, with a nod. "You've raised her since the very beginning of her cadet years, til the end. Don't beat yerself 'bout it, please?"

My jaw clamps shut for a moment, "Thank you for entrusting her with me, it was an honour to raise such a bright light in my unit," I raise my head, with a teary smile. "When she put her mind to it, she's quite the talented soldier. Her friends supported her through and through, many relied on her amazing archery and had a good balance of commendable skills to this unit. She was like a daughter to me........"

Mr and Mrs Braus glance at each other, before turning to me and suddenly I felt warmth surround me in open arms. They held me close to them, knowing our long line of years we've known each other. 

"Thank you for raising her," Mrs Braus whispers against my neck, holding me close to her. "You look like your carrying the whole world on your shoulders; you did your best and that's all we ask of you, nothing more or nothing less....."

Tears began to flow down not realising how heavy my shoulders have been, as I sank into their embrace. 

"If yer ever need to talk, we still live in Dauper village," Artur offers, before they pull away. Wiping my tears away I nod, before giving them my traditional salute to them both with a warm smile assurance. 

"I'll keep that in mind, thankyou,"

~*~
MEANWHILE ~ SHIGANSHINA DISTRICT ~ (Levi's Pov:)

Leaving her like that early this noon left me in turmoil, knowing she will continue to blame herself after all that happened. She didn't sleep very much, and neither did I so we spoke about the past. About what life was like back then, compared to the shit show now. How much time flew by, and how she saved me from the undergrounds. 

She may think I blame her for the deaths of Isabel and Farlan, but I don't. It was an endless string of links to the main perpetrators. Marley.

Glaring heavily towards the curious Yeager before me, the carriage rattles and shakes majority of the time since we entered the ride. Keeping my eyes on heavy guard on him, there were many assumptions and this gut feeling to still not trust him. Regardless of our agreement weeks ago, he was still an enemy to us. 

He releases the curtain after peeking out,".....How interesting," turning to me, leaning back in his seat. "They're calling it a victory? Ignorance is scary, but delusion's even worse."

My brow slightly lifts, I'm going to kill you and ship your corpse back to Marley," I venomously threaten. "With a nose about your little plot. Should spell the end for your grandparents. That said, is this secret plan of yours isn't bullshit, I can wait and chop you up once it's finished. I don't care much either way...."

"I'm actually surprised, your little Mrs decided to not show up," He brought up, as my jaw clenches subtly in response. My blood was boiling already, but mentioning her by his damn mouth left it rather bitter. "I was sure that she would follow you around, like a good puppy to her mas--"

"Speak about my wife like that, and I'll make sure you'll die slowly and painfully," I threaten with a dangerous look, with murderous intent. "The only bitch here is you, so cut the shit."

His eyes glare into mine with a smirk, "Well, I appreciate your willingness to accommodate," before a sarcastic smile lifts, waving his hand in suggestion as if changing the subject. "But hey. I do get to meet Eren soon, don't I?"

My eyes darken, "There's no need to rush," I assure him, blatantly. "We've prepared a nice little place for you to stay here. A beautiful hotel that you can relax at."

There was a heavy silence between us as the carriage resumes through Shiganshina, and through the gates towards the open plains. The noon sun streams through the curtains, allowing me to see every detail of his four eyed face. However my eyes wouldn't stray from his own, as I bore my anger into his own soul. Akira doesn't deserve to be spoken in that way, especially when he knows I'm capable in killing him instantly in that regard.

He's patronising me, and he's relishing in that small freedom of his......

"So, could I ask you to stop glaring?"

"Tch.......no,"

~*~

"This is my hotel?"

The monkey gawks at the sight of the giant trees, clearly disappointed.

"What better lodging could there be?" I remark, steering my black horse behind him. "It's a giant forest. Difficult to move through and devoid of boulders."

Zeke lowers his head, "Looks like a fun spot for using ODM gear, too," he comments, before glancing over his shoulder to meet my steel gaze. "Hey. Quick Question. This natural wonder. Would you mind letting me show it to Gabi and falco?"

Grimacing with a scoff, "Tch. Whether they get to see the sight, or not depends on you," before guiding my horse round to see the few wagons trailing right behind us. "Get everything set up, and get comfortable.........this could last for days or weeks. Who knows...."

The sun began to set behind the mountains, feeling myself soak in the warm glow of the afternoon. 

Glancing in the direction where we came from, my eyes harden for a moment in hope that Akira will be alright. Giving her information on our whereabouts was something I could only trust her with, because I need all the help I can get. Relying on her, goes to show how reliable of a wife and a woman she is. 

I believe she's very strong, holding everyone together.......yet she worries me sometimes......

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