"His words to you....." Levi spoke softly.
*
To Akira Yamasaki
My actions couldn't express my mutual feelings towards you as a Commander, but as a Comrade during our time in the Scouts. We had a complicated friendship, if you consider that it was, but it doesn't matter now. If you're reading this, it means something has happened to me, and I'm unable to tell you.
I remember your first impression to me wasn't the greatest to begin with, but clearly it was because of my bluntness and detaching exterior that made you feel that way.
"Why did you become a Scout, if you're not willing to give everything your all?" you said this to me, and I only saw frustration and courage behind your eyes. They were filled with a future, that I couldn't see for myself. It was as if I knew all along, you would become someone far greater than I thought I saw.
A mere woman, foolish to give her life for something she can't see.......and I was wrong.
Things were complicated as I was a child, learning the past secrets of the walls and my ambitions grew since my father was murdered for his acts of knowing such information, that it made me question our purpose behind the walls. Things were hazy then, and things has escalated since the Breach of Wall Maria now.
I've treated you with such disrespect, because I envied your bravery and strength. I dismissed your personal feelings which couldn't be helped, and I pushed you to lie and do horrible deeds that I'not proud of. Yet, you still came back for me despite the arm I lost, despite the hardships we faced, and with so much other things I can never forgive myself. You were right in most situations, but i allowed only ambitions to be pushed ahead of your priorities, the same goes for everyone else.
I'm sorry......
I might've died with some regrets, and that regret was not telling you how I really felt about you as a comrade, and as Commander.
You're a woman, a force to be reckoned with, and if you ever see the enemy beyond these walls, give them hell.......
Erst Denken, Dann Handeln....
It means....'First think, then Act'........which requires for you to first set your priorities straight, make decisions no matter the situation, and not rush into battle...
From Commander Erwin Smith
*
A droplet sank into the paper, darkening a spot in the old paper that crumbles in my hand. My jaw clenched so tightly, I found it hard to swallow as confliction runs through my head. I couldn't help but chuckle dryly, even though my chest felt tighter than before. Covering my mouth to hold in the small sounds that escaped my trembling lips, I felt Levi's hand drift around my waist drawing me to his side.
My head falls in the crook of his neck, trying to not sound pathetic.
"Let it out.......and don't hold back," he says flatly, knowing he's keeping his emotions in check.
His hand rubs my plush side vertically, soothingly before drifting to my damp hair. His fingers scratching my scalp, while holding me close for comfort. Pressing a soft kiss to my temple, my body melts against him as i allow myself to feel vulnerable for a moment.
I hope I can become the person you've wanted me to be, Erwin.......
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A/N: Hey everyone!
I apologise for how long my updates have been taking, but I've been rather busy with my job and other things as well. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and sorry for so much angst in this. Anyway, stay safe!
~ Little bean
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