*

My mind went completely blank......

Slowly registering what I held in my hands, left my blood running cold. 

"It couldn't be........." 

No more words could fathom nor comprehend my emotions, while trying to choke out more words. The silence around me made it worse, while feeling this sense of loneliness. This feeling, was making my stomach churn and heart heavy. An arm was in the palms of my hands, torn completely off at the joint of his shoulder.

It was all I found, and it was all that was left on the field. 

Blood was dried up beneath when I knelt down, seeing the darkened soil where his blood must've splattered. My hair covers my eyes, as a shadow casted over my eyes. The silence was loud enough, that all I could do was swallow my tears and accept it. 

This is how it was.......

No matter how prepared we were, death seems to still surprise me. The love I shared to everyone of my comrades were taken, leaving only pain and heartache behind. They come and they go, but no matter hard it is I can't forget the memories we shared. Yet, Miche died all alone, with no one with him to at least try to fight for him. 

I was pathetic and a fool to leave him alone, wishing I ignored him and helped him when he needed it.

Clenching my jaw to the point when it hurts, I almost forgot to breath.

"Shit......Shit......." cursing under my breath, while holding his arm close to me. I didn't care if it was disgusting, all I felt was his pain in his last few moments. He must've been so alone. My body shakes subtly, while trying to bite the bullet and keep a tough facade. My knees dug into the tainted soil, while slowly ripping the emblem off his sleeve. Ripping it off carefully, the sun was beginning to slowly dip behind the walls.

"Akira, Akira!!!!!"

Sniffling I wipe the stray tears before clearing my throat, as I stood up holding his arm in my hands with care. She approaches me with my horse, seeing her anxious expression shift back to a wave of relief. The heavy hooves dig into the dirt, before slowing down in front of me. Her attention soon drifts to the arm in my possession, before her face fell in realisation.

"That can't be.........that can't--" She chokes out, before covering her mouth in horror.

Lifting my hand up, I usher her to pass me a cloth or something, before wrapping his arm around. Once that was done, I place it in my bag on the side of my horse to keep it safe and contained. My hand drifts against my horses neck, with a long and exasperated sigh drawing from my lips.

The silence was enough to know, that our investigation was put to an end.

So much was happening all at a once, I feel so overwhelmed with it all. I couldn't tell who were the enemies were, whether they're foe or just misunderstood. With Bertholdt's outburst back there, it seems they were doing it against their own wills. Whether he was faking it or not, I've just noticed we jumped to conclusions the hearing others out. 

Accusation was a foe, but also lying is also our own enemy that can be used as a weapon.....

Lena was quietly crying while I remained strong for both of us, shifting my eyes across the bloody terrain. Turning to glance at Miche's emblem from the Survey Corps, I clench it tight before turning to my horse, lifting my foot to the stirrups. Mounting my horse, I straighten my back and found a better height to take it all in. The breeze was a somewhat pleasantly cool, with a mixture of the sunsets warmth.

"Best we head back and report in," I spoke up, only for it to crack. "Explain my assumption on what occurred here an--"

"What......did happen here?" She spoke up, while I shove the emblem in my pocket. 

My eyebrows knit together, feeling unsettled by it all. Even if I have to assume that's the truth, behind his death.

"There.......there was a beast titan," I spoke up, directing my horse to directly look her in the eyes. "It came out of nowhere that night......but it threw rocks.....no.....boulders at us. Like we were cornered, killing our horses as it knew our only way out. It was intelligent, like Eren."

"Wait......but then......could it be consorting with those two kids?" She suggests, while my expression hardens, with a unpersuasive nod. "So wait, you're saying.......Miche died......only because of that beast?"

Exhaling deeply I nod, but she still was in confusion.

"Regarding our situation, Miche decided to be the bait," I continue on, before scanning across the field around us. "Titans were here, and he fought them.......and that's when I noticed his horse on the roof......meaning he had no way in escaping."

Her eyes slowly widen in realisation, "The beast titan.......did that?" in utter disbelief, while I nod.

"Now let's just get back before nightfall, Hanji will get worried," I flick my reigns, wanting nothing more than to be back with Levi. 

It was all too much, losing my best friend since day one as cadets. 

Nanaba.......... 

When you screamed out to your father, I didn't realise how much you were suffering. You must've endured a lot from him, with his high expectations. I knew the moment I met him that time, when he wasn't impressed with whatever you did. Your goals, and your achievements. You deserved so much better, but I didn't realise how little time I spent with you.

I'm a failure.......

Why can't I protect everyone, and ease their minds by holding their burdens?

If i see a smile, it only brings me happiness and ensures that they're safe. So what am I doing wrong?

*

AT HQ WITHIN TROST

We finally reached Trost after two and a half days, since we investigated and returned on horseback. The days felt longer, like time had stopped when retracing the incident. Hanji and Connie left earlier, so the remaining soldiers in Ragako informed Lena and I to head on back to Trost. My muscles were still sore, and all I felt was completely hollow. The trip took a while, but we managed to get back later in the afternoon.

Making our way down the hallways, I went searching for Hanji first.

"Corporal, glad you're here!" I hear Tobias call, when his eyes meets Lena's. His eyes linger upon her for a moment, before turning back, "Hanji and the new Recruit is in Erwin's room currently, you just made it....."

Raising my head in interest, he smiles in relief.

"The Commander just woke up about fifteen hours ago," He adds, as my shoulders felt lighter. Smiling softly, I couldn't but feel at ease knowing saving him was the right call.

"I see, thank you........" I muse softly, before shifting to my side where Lena stood. ".....just stay here, I'll be a while......"

She salutes firmly, "Ma'am,"

Leaving the two alone I make my way down to Erwin's room, feeling more relieved that he was awake and well. Turning the corner, I soon approach his door and knocked a few times. The heavy information Miche's whereabouts, were confirmed. Yet, it wasn't how I wanted to find out about his quiet death. 

"Come in!"

My heart skipped a beat, when I hear his voice.

Twisting the knob I pushing myself in being greeted with a few more people, as Commander Pyxis, Hanji, Connie, Levi and Erwin were inside. Levi's eyes lit up for a moment, his expression softens with relief.

"Akira.......I'm glad you're doing well," Erwin greets me, while I salute him for a moment. Judging by state, he's grown stubble around his chin and jaw, and his hair not in his usual slicked back style. Unusual, but I'm glad he's alright, "I see you went to investigate with Hanji, so........what's the report?"

"It's good, with Commander Pyxis," Hanji spoke up, before clearing their throat. "We're here to report on the recent incident. This young man is--"

"Connie! Connie Springer, of the 104th Survey Corps, Sir!" Connie salutes.

"He's from the village I mentioned, Ragako," Hanji adds. "Since both Akira and him were there to witness the incident, we both had him accompany us to the village. Luckily Akira managed to survive, and kept him safe......."

Pyxis' eyes shift upon me, while my eyes felt more heavier not taking much notice.

"Connie!" Levi spoke up, causing the young boy to listen in. "Good work."

Connie's face lowers with a distant look, "Thank you.....sir,"

Everyone in the room picked up on the solemn comment, while I inhale and exhale slowly and deeply. It would inappropriate to show Miche's limb to the Commander, but I will wait til everyone has gone. Miche was a trusted soldier to Erwin, a comrade and his loyalty was beyond.

Hanji clears their throat, "Allow me to explain, the town was full of evidence that supports the theory we have....." Hanji continues on, while eyeing me. "....about where the titans came from this time....the buildings in the village all appeared to have been blown apart from the inside, as Akira pointed out. She noticed rather quickly, but despite all of this destruction, not a drop of blood was shed around the village........"

Sighing heavily, I lift my eyes to meet the Commanders.

"Whilst my time at the Scouts facility guarding the cadets, both Miche and I sensed the horde of titans coming from the village......" I spoke up, as Hanji allowed me to explain more further. Having to witness, it would be best if I explained myself. 

"........however the total number of titan that were targeting us, were the same number of individuals who lived within ragako," I continue, forcefully trying to not let my emotions cloud my head. "It's the only solid proof, but we think....no, we believe it is high likely that the titans that appeared inside the wall, were really the residents of Ragako village."

Everyone falls silent, noticing Pyxis' eyes slight widen taken back by our assumption.

"I see..." Erwin notes. "So, in actuality, titans are human beings...."

I could tell by Levi's eyes, that he was appalled by this.

"Well......we don't have any solid proof that all titans are this way....." Hanji trails off, with uncertainty. "....but, if they are, I have a hunch about what's really inside the titans' weak spots."

"What do you mean, by that?" Pyxis questions.

Hanji's eyes harden, "Even if two titan vary widely in size, the weak spot is always the same," She continues on. "One meter long, ten centimetres wide......if you matched those proportions up to a typical human body......you'd get the spinal column, leading out of the brain. A titan can't regenerate and ceases to function if you cut this area......probably because these organs are independent from the rest of titans body."

Levi scoffs drly, "You always slice open the necks of all the titans you capture alive......but you've never seen anything like that, have you?"

"True.....I've never seen anything looks particularly human," Hanji admits, nonchalantly. "Their napes close up immediately if you do something like cut through them with a single blade, so I can't imagine that a human brain could stay intact in there........."

Listening to them explain from their past research, it started to make sense.

"....yet there has to be something in there the size of a brain and spinal column," She resumes. "Perhaps it's synthesized into the titan body and hard to make out, but....."

"I don't understand what you're getting at, four-eyes," Levi cuts her off. 

"Er, sorry......"

Levi sighs heavily leaning forward, "Great.....just perfect, I've spent all this time and all this energy...." his voice sounded more exhausted. "....and the things I've been carving through like carrion....were people?"

Hanji seemed more distressed about this, the same as we all are.

"Look, I told you there's no solid proof," She repeats herself, confidentally.

Everyone falls silent trying to process both Hanji and I's explanation, while Connie stood there staring at his parents picture frame. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, earning his attention.

"You may be excused, Connie.....thank you," I follow him out to the door, while he nods.

"Thank you Corporal, and......" He pauses, while leaving the door open halfway. His eyes slowly met mine. ".....thanks for.....protecting us that night. Without, I don't know what would've happened."

Taken back by his gratefulness, my face softens.

"It nothing, you go and rest up," I usher him out with a gentle pat on the shoulder, before closing the door behind me. The moment I turn around, I noticed Erwin's face was lit up with a smile, that even made Levi unsettled.

"um........excuse me, what's with that smile?" Levi questions, before the Commander's face falters back to normal.

"Oh....it's nothing......"

"You're gonna make me sick," Levi grimaces, while I walk over towards him and sent a sharp tap on his shoulder. Leaning up against the chair beside him, I felt his hands subtly wrap around with a gentle but firm grip thighs. 

Erwin breathily scoffs, "I've been told that since I was a child,"

"Is that the real reason you're in the Survey Corps?" Levi brought up, rather bluntly.

I tap his foot again, earning his eyes to snap up to meet my scolding ones.

"Levi, manners......" I hush him, sharply.

"Yeah, ease off Levi," Erwin lightly jokes. "My arm was eaten. I'm physically and emotionally exhausted. Don't you have some pity for me?"

"Well.....you are pitiful..." Levi mutters, while my attentions shifts to the limb that I carried in my left hand. Covered and secure, my heart felt heavier dwelling on how I could've prevented all of this.

I couldn't forgive myself, now that Miche was no longer with us......

"Akira...." Erwin shifts to me, causing me to jump out of my thoughts. "....heard you went to investigate about Section Commander Miche.......any luck?"

Hanji, levi, Pyxis all turned to me, now that Erwin shifted the main issue to myself. Pulling away from Levi's grip, I wanted to act more professional at least.

My hands grip the limb firmly, feeling my stomach churning. Raising my head, I nod rather timidly, "I'm sorry Commander, but........Miche was killed......."

Everyone's reactions were the same, as their eyes widen. 

"How can that be.....he was....." Hanji utters out, with disbelief flickering behind her eyes. "But.......he's our--"

"Do you have proof?" Erwin questions cutting them off, referring to what's been in my hand since I entered the room. The material was definitely stained with blood, seeing the fabric darken. "You may proceed showing me.....if you may?"

Hesitantly I take a deep breath in, before exhaling.

Peeling the material away, the arm was soon exposed causing him to finally realise he was definitely shocked. However he didn't hold an ounce of worry, but this calmess being used to death. We've experienced so much death, it wasn't new to us anymore.

"How..........how do you think he......died?"

"I don't know for sure........but the beast titan was the cause," I reply, uncertainty lacing my voice. Suspicious glances rest on me, while I continue with my further speculation of the mystery of Miche's death. "He died while stalling the titans for me and the recruits, hoping for us to get to safety and warn the villages......."

"Beast titan?" Hanji questions, with curiosity. "What do you mean.....? There's another shifter, like Reiner and Bertholdt?"

Nodding with confirmation, her eyes widen.

"Miche's horse was thrown across the buildings, only dead on the rooftop," I continue on, with my investigation. "Despite not finding any clear evidence, his horse is a giveaway that no titan, other than a shifter could lift a horse. Yes, an abnormal are unpredictable......but this clearly explains the sudden invasion of titans......I just don't know how....."

Everyone falls silent, trying to understand the circumstances.

"I see...........thank you Akira," Erwin nods with respect, while I purse my lips into a thing line. My hands shakily wrap back around Miche's limb, before letting out an audible sigh. "....by the way...where are Eren and Historia Reiss, right now?"

My eyes flicker from the floor, to Erwin.

"Ah.....we've made progress there, too," Hanji replies, ensuring the Commander their safety is secret. "For now, the two are being hidden in a safe location.....we're keeping it quiet until things settle down."

I nod with agreement, remembering my discussion with Hanji earlier.

"We can't be rash....it's like a stirred-up next of hornets out there," Pyxis adds, explaining our current situation. News can spread fast, so we must keep things at a minimum for now. "Now isn't the time to spread around the theory we just heard about the titans, either."

I hum softly, "We can't afford to make any more mistakes, Commander," 

I knew he was listening to us, but he was far too excited about what we have uncovered so far. Yes, I'm feeling a little better knowing we're a step forward, but how many do we have to make to reach to our goal? Thousand? Most of this was going no where, but clueless assumptions and less evidence.

"If we look into Christa, we should be able to get on the trail of an organisation that knows even more about the titans than we do," Erwin explains. "Meanwhile, if we can deploy Eren's powers, we can take back the walls.....those two are our most valuable assets right now.......where are they?"

Levi clears his throat, "Your arm was eaten and you're physically and emotionally exhausted," He spoke up. "I felt bad for you, so I went ahead and made some decisions......That includes the new members of my squad.....what Eren needs is to be pushed into total desperation."

Soon I was filled in with the arrangements, as I must've been asleep when they were discussing it. Knowing the location and whereabouts, I was put at ease knowing the kids are safe. Adding into the mixture of events, the walls were now claimed breach free. Meaning, Wall Rose wasn't compromised and is safe. With that as the good news, I couldn't shake the feeling with how titans can be people.

After a while of discussion, Hanji took Miche's arm for me and leaves the room following Commander Pyxis as the day wastes away quietly.

Sitting down where Commander Pyxis sat, while feeling my body weigh heavier than before, feeling tired already from my travels to Ragako and back. Erwin seemed to notice, turning his head to me quietly. He was rather hesitant, before finally breaking the ice.

"Akira.........thank you, for investigating him," He spoke up, while my eyes meet his, taken back by his appreciation. "Also.....thank you for saving me back outside the walls..........it was meant to be the other way around. I owe you."

Shaking my head, I smile softly.

"No.......there's nothing you owe......" I assure him, knowing there's nothing he could owe me. He was my Commander, and any soldier should aid their leader. "Anyway.......next time someone tries to help you, don't be stubborn......"

Levi shifts eyes to me, seeing a sense of longing swim in them.

"But there's something I don't understand," Erwin spoke up, his tone shifts to more serious and stern. "Why would those two young traitors, abduct you? I just don't understand, so......could you explain to me......?"

Blinking a few times, my hands grip my thighs firmly.

Recalling back to when I was abducted, Reiner and Bertholdt did mention something. However no name was addressed, or to whom was tracking me down. What I don't understand myself, is why and who? I don't know anyone beyond these walls, especially when I'm in my