*

Leaning against the cold brick wall, my thoughts were sinking further into my head. With so much happening all at once, sometimes I feel like it wasn't real. It was all a facade. Some of the faces of those children I practically trained, and raised for three years, were gone, not once stepped out to their desired dream. It made my heart hurt, my blood boil, making me what to cry for their lost souls.

Shaking my head I sigh deeply pinching the bridge of my nose, brushing off those feelings. 

I'm being selfish of what I couldn't accomplish, and wishing to find a better way. Things weren't as easy, especially when you're under orders. They were only ordered straight into a bloody battle, too early and young.

"Excuse me, have you see--" a voice approaches me, recognising her in an instant.

Lifting my head up I met with soft brown eyes, seeing them widen in shock. Smile ear to ear, we both envelope each other in a hug. She squeezes me a little, hearing the excitement bubbling her cheery voice. Pulling away she scans my face, only to see it falter when her eyes land upon my scar that was permanently marred across my eye.

"What happe--"

"I'm fine, just a small wound from Trost," I assure her, not wanting to concern than what we all already are. 

She sighs hesitantly really wanting to ask, but soon respects my wishes standing back.

Exhaling heartedly I smile, "Anyway, you've changed.....new haircut?" I raises an eyebrow, as she laughs swish her shorter blonde hair. My hand reaches over touching the softer ends, that only rested upon her shoulders.

"Well yes, and you have changed a lot too yourself!" She grins widely, as she's grown into more of a woman than I last saw her. She would be at least twenty three now, which I'm assuming. I feel like I'm getting old, by just saying that. "Curvier and more beautiful!"

I ruffle her hair to stop with her compliments, feeling rather insecure about my body.

"Okay, that's enough......." cutting her off with a soft chuckle, while she groans in response. ".....anyway you're still my second hand in command, right?"

She fixes her hair for a moment with a pouty look, before nodding.

"Sure am, I've been training harder over the past few years," smiling widely, seeing how much she's changed. She even matured so much, I'm proud to call her an friend and my second in command. "Just so I can be able to pull my own weight, beside you!"

Smiling softly I could tell by her eyes she endured training, mentally and physically. She didn't even have to say anything, I just could tell by observing. Patting her shoulder gently, I soon got down to business with our current situation. With our plan in motion tonight, I hope we narrow down the cadets until we find the spies we're trying to uncover. Finally keeping her updated with everything, explaining about the cadet who could transform, to the special operation squad protecting and keeping Eren under surveillance. 

"Luckily the Commander has been keeping me in the loop," She laughs nervously, before her face softens with a sign of relief. "What matters is that you're well."

Slightly taken back by her words I was never expecting, made me realise how much she's placed her trust in me.

"I appreciate it, same goes for you too," I nudge her shoulder. "Anyway, we better get back down to our plan for tonight's speech. It's a risky one, but has Erwin filled you in yet?"

Shaking her head, the Commander soon finds us before ushering us to follow behind. With so much going on, following a loose thread currently, I just placed my trust in Erwin's hunch and plan. 

*

LATER AT NIGHT

Standing on the side of the large podium where Erwin stood, Petra held the map in hands while hearing the bustling of soldiers approaching before the Commander. The fire flickers, dimming the area, but enough to see the face of everyone that I've trained. Some looked rather nervous already, even when Erwin hasn't explained the plan if they join the Scouts. With Miche, Hanji and a few other squad leaders behind me, I still felt myself in a corner.

Then that will make the plan ten times more scarier, than right now.

Slapping a hand over my face while drawing a deep sigh, Lena exclaims in fright placing a concerning touch against my back. 

"You alright?" She whispers, but I shook my head.

"No, but I'm more concerned for the cadets," my voice grew airy, and drained while I remain emotionless trying to not alarm anymore soldiers. "This won't go down well......I feel it."

After falling silent I notice Erwin's eyes fall upon me, giving me a nod. Given that must be time to begin, I return the gesture before standing straight behind the curtains.

"Good evening! I am Erwin Smith, Commander of the Survey Corp, also known as the Scout Regiment!" He announces, loudly. "Today, you will choose your regiment. Let's cute to the chase here. The Scouts need you. We need all the warm bodies we can get."

My eyes lower, feeling uneasy by his short straightforward introduction.

It's fine Akira, this plan is to lure the spies out.......that's all......

"After the recent titan attack, you now know first-hand the horrors of which they are capable," he continues, noticing the Commander has gained the attention of the cadets. "As well as the limits of your own skill. However.......This battle's aftermath gave humanity a new chance for victory. I refer to Eren Yeager. After selflessly risking life and limb, he has proven beyond a doubt, his unwavering loyalty to our cause. Hope lives in him. Eren didn't just help to deter the titan invasion. He's offered us a means to discern the truth of their origin!"

Everyone gasps simultaneously, before chattering amongst themself in shock.

My eyes harden trying to allow Erwin's plan to be exposed, "Intel suggests that the cellar of Yeagers home in Shiganshina holds a vital secret regarding our enemy," Eren resumes, allowing it to sink in. "We will form an expedition to find this secret. Find it...and use it to break free from the titans' tyrannical hundred-year reign once and for all!"

I could hear people questioning his motives, or talking with some enthusiasm if we could find the weaknesses. Even though this was a plan to be set, to bait the spies, some people were assuming a chance at victory to our hundred year carnage.

"Before we reach the aforementioned cellar in Shiganshina, another problem must be dealt with!" Erwin continues again, signalling Petra to stand up front with the map. "We must first retake Wall Maria. Of course, this is much easier said than done.....!"

Miche walks out with Petra, as they both held the map of the walls.

Erwin turns to the map, "...and now that that the gate at Trost has been rendered inaccessible, we'll be forced to stage future operations from the Calaneth District, further east...." turning back to meet the cadet's eyes. "...thus, the battalion route we've spent the last four years establishing is now completely useless to us. Over the course of those four years, we've incurred losses in excess of sixty percent. Sixty percent in four years. That's a horrifying figure."

My eyes harden for a moment, feeling my chest tighten too.

"One month from now, we will conduct a recon mission outside the walls!" Erwin informs them all. "Recruits from among your ranks will be expected to take part. I estimate a third of them will die. After four years most will be dead. But those who endure will be amongst the most capable soldiers alive........Now having heard this dismal state of affairs, whoever still wishes to put their life on the line and join us, remain here. But first ask yourself.....!"

Sighing deeply, I hoped they aren't as traumatised to join.

"....Can you give your heart? Can you give everything for humanity?!" he questions, rhetorically. Seeing the expressions from the cadets, they were all taken back. "That is all. Those wanting to join other regiments are dismissed."

My eyes lift up only to see Darius approaching the Commander quietly, "Commander! I think that you may've overly intimidated the cadets, sir," he stammers. "None of them are gonna stick around."

He was right, but I guess he wasn't told about Erwin's real intentions.

Turning back to the cadets, most of them began turning back. So many was were chattering, while some stood by before us. Signs of regret flashes behind their eyes, knowing this was their final decision and last choice. The pain i felt for them, made me hopeless now. Yet, the ones are standing before us, were the bravest to stand forward.

Standing beside Erwin resting my hands behind my lower back, I give them a soft expression to ease their minds.

"I ask you, if you were ordered to die, could you do it?" Erwin breaks the thick tension, that surrounds the traumatised children. 

"We don't wanna die, sir!" a cadet calls, making me smile following with Erwin also to smile in response.

"Of course, let us hope that you don't then!" Erwin narrows his eyes. "you who stayed, you are now one of us! Allow me to welcome you to the Scout Regiment. This is a genuine salute soldiers! Together, we give our hearts!"

We all raise our right fists, slamming against our left chest firmly, saluting.

"Sir!"

My eyes scan the crowd of fearful expressions, and all I could say to myself was how proud I am with how forward and strong they stood, after hearing what happens when your fate was to end anytime on the field. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves, I give them a small smile of encouragement.

"Those of you standing here have worked through your fear," Erwin began. "You have proven yourselves courageous. Each one of you has my respect, and I thank Corporal Akira for training you all, so I know I have great faith in your work!"

My cheeks flush deeply while earning credit for their growth, and all the times I've worked on them for three years.

"You are all now dismissed, get some rest and in the morning you will join us at the Scouts HQ!" I announce, informing them of their next steps. 

"Ma'am!"

Closing my eyes with a smile, they all left the grounds while I stood there. My mind was processing for a good few minutes, before relief washes over me. Slowly the scout leaders part ways, to their assigned posts and duties. Lena was still new to the castle, so I had to bring her along with me and Petra knowing Levi and the group will be back, after pulling Eren away from the castle for the entire afternoon.

*

AT THE CASTLE 

The crickets buzz their nightly tune while everything has fallen silent, only to hear the sounds of our horse's clopping against the pavement. Pulling the reigns back I coo gently halting her, before swinging my leg round, jumping off guiding Lena to the Stables.

"This is the stables, your horse will be right beside mine," I gesture to the empty spots, allowing her to freely place her horse inside. "We're still cleaning and preparing the place for the cadets, but they will be learning the plan for the next expedition."

She glances my way, understanding why they weren't coming straight away.

"I see.......so you got a room for me?" She asks, with interest. Smiling while taking off the saddle and straps, I gave her a nod.

"Sure do, you're next to me......but if you ever need me I will most likely be in my office," I reply, before placing a bucket of water beside my horses hoof. Patting her, I notice Petra was already gone to report and check in.

Lena and I head inside seeing candle light dimming the rooms. My assistant twirls around, breathing out in amazement. Her eyes lit up, knowing her interests. 

"Wow I love old buildings, they all give off.....a 'story to tell' feel," She muses softly, seeing the chandelier in the centre nearby the wooden front doors. Walking inside we approach the main common room, seeing Gunther and Eld talking together quietly. Smiling softly we part ways from the room to the stairs, that lead up to the main rooms of the building.

After showing her around the area we stood outside her bedroom door, hearing a soft yawn follow from her lips.

"Wow, you guys have cleaned up nicely," She rubs her eyes, before tapping her wooden door. "Well, anyway.....I will be here whenever you need. Just call me, or I will already be there!....hahaha you know the drill!"

"Night, rest up.....this coming month will get busier," addressing our upcoming expedition, and supervising Eren. "Also.....it's really great seeing you again, really....."

Her eyes slowly widen, taken back by my words she leans her weight against the door. 

A small smile curls upon her lips, "Same here, I'm glad we've survived this long," before slowly waving her hand, whispering a soft goodnight. Waving goodnight, the door closes with a slight creak before the hallway grow darker. Standing still I've come to realise how much I had to be grateful for, whether I denied things. 

Lena was someone I managed to save, and she was the only remaining soldier from my squad. Someone important, someone I can't let go. Closing my eyes with a contented smile, I turn on my heel making my way to his office. After today, my nerves were still not settling and a cup of tea might seem nice, right for now.

//

~Knock~Knock~

"State name and business!"

My knuckle hovers against the wooden door, wondering if I should disturb him? Hesitation sinks in, leaving me silent for a moment. Swallowing thickly I raise my head, brushing off second thoughts.

"Akira......"

"Come in!"

Taking the knob in hand I open the door, slowly creaking before I close it behind me. The room was rather dim, but enough to see. With the office so clean and tidy, and his bed tucked on the side in a joined room. Interesting, didn't see that before.

My eyes drift up to see him quietly signing the papers in hand, before hearing the rustling sounds placing one in a small pile he previously signed. His hair was tousled over his eyes, buried into his work. Walking slowly up to him he soon takes his attention from the work, to meet my eyes, seeing his tense expression soften.

"Been a while," he comments, while I chuckle softly leaning against his desk.

"It's only been about half a day," I joke lightly, but he stood up meeting my gaze. His fingers drift from the side of my forearm, to my forehand, interlacing my fingers with his. "Anyway.....thought we can grab some tea....?"

Warm lips press against my temple, out of the blue.

"Sounds good, it's been a hell of a day," He sighs deeply, while my face grew warmer to the tips of my ears. "Stay here, I will go make us some.....alright?"

Shaking my head about to protest, I found him dragging me to his seat and pushed me down gently.

"Just rest," he insists, before leaving the room to me. Sitting there blinking my eyes a few times, I thought I would be used to him. His touch, his rare kindness, even though yesterday we finally opened up with our confessions. Shaking my head I take a deep breath in and out, before leaning my elbows against his desk.

After a few minutes of straightening and cleaning his desk, something slips out with a clank.

"Huh?"

Lowering my top half down I lift a small box, which was slightly worn out but kept in tact. Curious as I was, in fancy writing, my name was engraved upon it. My fingertip trails along my name, seeing how delicate the handwriting was.

Carefully opening the lid, I was soon greeted with familiar letters.

Not understanding what they were for a moment, realisation settles in lifting one up. It was written in 848, when I was training the cadets. Reading the date, the memory soon dawns upon me recalling that day. It was his birthday, and it was the many wishes I sent him.

*

Dear Levi....

Today is a very special day for you, I may be a few days early but I knew you would get this on your birthday. Happy Birthday, Captain. Hope you're tolerating with your new squad, and you're settling in well. Many wishes coming from me....

I wish for a perfect day for you.....

I wish to see you soon, but that's in a year's time...

I wish for you to get some rest, and eat well......

I wish for strength and wisdom.....

Please take good care of yourself, till i get back.

~ Akira

*

"I see you found that," a voice broke me out of train of thoughts, causing me to jump. Clasping a hand over my heart, I take a moment to calm my nerves. Seeing his hand carefully place my green tea down in front of me, he pulls out a second chair and props himself beside me.

"Thankyou, and sorry....." I delicately place the letter back in the box, when he shook his head.

He sips his tea, "Tch, it's fine, I'm not really embarrassed," 

Placing the box on the desk I took my tea, and blew gently feeling the warmth coaxing my palms. Taking a gentle sip, the flavour rests upon my tongue feeling a little rush of warmth and relief wash over.

"So nice......thank you," I muse softly, as my shoulders sink down comfortably. "It's been a while, since.......we've done this.....hasn't it?"

He hums softly in agreement, drinking his tea quietly enjoying the peace and quiet while we still have this. This surrounding comfort with tea, and his presence was enough to ease my mind. With our current situation I'm mindlessly following orders, waiting for our next mission or order not knowing if we would survive. 

Subconsciously my hand tightens around my handle, before I exhale quietly for a moment.

"Something on your mind?" his warm voice fills my ears, making my stomach flip.

Shaking my head I drink my tea til there was nothing left, staring at the empty teacup. Placing down the dainty cup, I lean back before a small yawn leaves my lips. "Just a lot is going on, but.....I'm doing alright," assuring him, folding my arms. 

He clicks his tongue hearing him place his cup down, "Alright my ass, seriously......you don't look fine," he leans forward, touching beneath my eyes. "Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating enough?"

Taken back by his abrupt questions, I nod with a reassuring smile.

"I'm fine really, but those questions should be aimed at you," poking his chest, raising an eyebrow while he gave me a harsh glare. Sighing deeply I rest back in the seat, while my eyes mindlessly rest upon the ceiling. Exhaustion was hitting me like a horse and wagon would, while my eyelids refused to stay up. Fluttering them closed, I shook my head sitting back upright.

"So you gonna finish your paperwork?" I question, while he finishes the rest of his tea.

His silver eyes met mine, before flickering down upon the neatly stacked papers.

"Only a few left,"

Taking that response I stood up, "Here's your seat, I might as well go now," I say softly, not wanting to disturb him than I already have. "Rest well too, please get some rest?"

His face slightly changed with disappointment, before nodding.

"Will do,"

Didn't seem very convincing coming from him, but enough me to know that he will at least take care of himself. Placing a tender hand upon his shoulder, I brush a few strands from his face, pressing a soft kiss against his warm temple.

"Night, Levi," 

Swiftly his arm snakes around my waist tugging me back down, finding me straddling his lap upon the chair. Taken back by his sudden movements, his hand grips my plush waist while the other skims against from the