*

FEW MONTHS LATER - 845

My mother once told me..........

'That mistakes always happen, even when we're stronger than we think.....but if you're gonna fight, fight til the very end til you come out on top.........it proves you survived as a human.....that's your greatest battle yet.'

Even though I've seen so many lives taken, I continue to train harder til I collapse. Maintaining my mind to focus on the end goal, but our end was invisibly to the naked eye. No one knows what will happen, but that's why I've joined the survey corps. To reach that end, even if it's like a endless clouded fog.

Adjusting my gauze around my knuckles, my eyes flicker upon Levi who was also mirroring my actions. After having a small spar earlier this morning, it was just a normal intense training battle. Some moments he would come out on top, and then sometimes I take first place. We both were at equal levels, despite our age gap. He was only a few years older than me, which I found out.

"Seriously, you're a challenge," he comments, nonchalantly.

Smirking softly by the small compliment, I soon pull out my loose hair out before adjusting my hair again. Sweat glistening against my skin, with small shallow pants leaving my lips. Even though he seems rather quiet and cold, I'm starting to pick up on the small things about him. Especially when he's actually be nice or not, which causes Renji to be a little short tempered in situations.

"Thank you, you're still incredibly strong.....despite getting much sunlight a while ago," I say softly, hearing him scoff.

"Well that's the past," he mutters, while my smile slowly falters.

Lowering my head after tying my hair up, I wipe away the sweat against my temple.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mea--"

He shook his head, "No need, I know what you meant........but it's the past," he assures me, as my eyes slightly widen.

"Oh.....right, okay then......."

Walking over to my ODM gear, I lift up the belts and straps to adjust the large equipment. Sliding in the straps and belts, the sound of steel clangs together. My mind wandering elsewhere, as I finally clip the gear on my hips and back. Doing so I swipe my jacket from the post beside me, before placing it around my shoulders while sliding through the sleeves.

"Right.........well, let's do some ODM maneuver gear training," I suggest, seeing him placing his straps on. While waiting for him to get ready, i couldn't help feeling like I'm being watched. Keeping myself focusing on Levi, I pretended not noticing at all.

"Alright, let's go,"

****

The wind pounds against my ears while flying through the thick growth of the trees, feeling that surge of euphoria just drifting through. My hair loosely falls around my face, but blows back from the direction we are flying.

Levi suddenly flies from above before flying in level with me, seeing him smirk lightly at me.

"You look like a child," he comments.

Furrowing my eyebrows I release more gas flying more faster, as a wooden titan appears. Swiftly digging my handles into the blades, I sheath them out with the sound of steel grinding together before chiming softly.

Just within a few metres I drop my hands holding them downwards, before angling my body spiraling down upon the dummy. Slicing through clean cut, along with splintering the wood. I continue flying while Levi takes another dummy out, before I fly up upon a branch with him following along.

Firmly planting my feet I rest my palm against the base of the tree, as he lands beside me.

"You seem to be a natural, I don't understand why you need my help," I comment, seeing how much he's improved.

He sheepishly glances my way, before averting his eyes from me.

"Well learning to conserve my tank, it's hard so I needed......." he trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

"You needed my expertise?"

"No, just wanted some way to go fast without using so much of the tanks gas," he replies, noticing his hands tighten around his handles.

"Well I think you've gotten better right now, with me......I more lean my body in," I began, before showing him. "When we weigh our weight back up against our tanks, it pulls ourselves back. That's why sometimes other's moves falter, missing the timing in attacking."

"Wait........so, when you're flying you placing all your weight to the front to balance the gear from behind," his eyes remain nonchalant, but his voice was more in realisation. "That's how you're able to have more gas, especially with how agile and sharp your movements are."

Nodding, he finally understood where I cam from.

"I did explain to some of the soldier's, but some of them couldn't understand or even do it," I reply softly. "When blades are drawn you also maintain your balance, hold a sharp eye and aim. I've always had an eye on observation, so.......really everyone has their own techniques."

"I see......"

To be honest having more comfortable one on one conversations with him, made it easier to cooperate. Noticing how he doesn't speak much when I have Lena, my brother or anyone else around, he only speaks when it's us two if he needed something. Noticing how much he's matured, it's made me feel at ease knowing he feeling comfortable within our ranks.

Soon I hear someone flying up towards us, landing firmly on the branch before me.

"Squad Leader Akira, Commander Shadis wishes to speak with you," he informs me.

Nodding, remembering it was the next expedition.

"Thank you Moses, well Levi, you continue with this," I instruct him, being that I was in charge of my squad with him being part of it.

This month I was chosen again to help out, as Levi didn't have to come every month.

"Right, give em hell,"

Smiling softly, both Moses and I jump down before flying down towards the training area to prepare myself.

"May I ask how you can easily talk to him?" The blonde questions. "Seriously, I glance his way and he gives me the stink eye.."

Raising an eyebrow I chuckle.

"Maybe because you also give off a cold stare sometimes,"

"Hey, I'm not always cold," the male pouts, before landing on the ground. He taps my head with a goofy grin, while I gave him a pout back.

"How dare you touch me," I dramatically accuse him, before flicking my hair. "Alright.......anyway, we better get going."

"Also........another message from Commander Shadis," he adds, as we head over to our horses.

"Hmm?"

*

OUTSIDE SHIGANSHINA DISTRICT

Charging head on through the thick growth of the forest, rain showers down heavily. Fog surrounding the place, making it hard to sense and be aware when titans were near. Tightening my hands around the reigns, I purse my lips while riding alongside Moses, Erwin, Commander Shadis.

Stomping into puddles the water sprays up, drenching our clothes til the bone. The battle field has only begun, finding new territory with titans roaming around aimlessly. The heavy stomps could be heard, giving us the advantage to go into formations.

"All soldier's, prepare for battle!!!!" The Commander declares loudly. "We have one target up ahead! We will slay it, and claim this spot as humanity's first stronghold beyond the walls!!!"

My eyes squint trying to see through the blurry rain, when I could see a titan up ahead.

"Target approaching!!!!"

The titan from where I could see was no more than twenty metres, wth a body full of muscle mass and hardly no face. It's slow in movements, gave us that confidence to take the beast down to claim this land back.

Shadis raises his left arm signalling to split up.

"Split into five groups just as we have practiced!!!!" he orders, remembering our strategy earlier on. "We'll act as bait, all assault squads, switch to ODM gear!!!"

Following his plan I activate my gear in response, clicking the handle before my grappling hooks shoot out before embedding within the tree. Flying through we finally reach the titan that stumbled towards us, as Moses flew high up raises his blades. Spiral towards the beast, he slices through the nape. Blood sprays from the attack, but suddenly just think we're clear at a side glance a titan suddenly appears.

My eyes slowly widen making everyone slightly taken back, before seeing Moses's body slowly falling into the maws of the beast.

"No Moses, lookout!!!!!!"

Flying down towards him leaning forward, I raise my blades ready to slice the damn thing down. The sound of bones crunching left me shocked, and taken back. Clenching my jaw in frustration, I continue to cut down the beast slicing through the nape sharply. Panting heavily two large bodies collapses heavily into the mud, leaving me to land on the ground harshly.

"Captain Akira!"

Standing there feeling my breath grow shallow in response, the stinging sensation of tears threatening to spill. Shit.

"Look out, three more coming from the rear!!!!"

"It's an ambush!!!!!!"

My eyes drift up only to find something on the ground, making me walk over not bothered by the titans. Squatting down on one knee, I lift the limb in my hands.

Moses...........he was a strong soldier, so how did he die so easily?

"Akira, titans spotted from the rear and front!" Erwin informs me, as I pass the Commander the limb. His eyes widen by how lenient I was, even losing a comrade again. It was like watching a heart slowly dying, so many souls already lost.

"I'll take care of it, order a retreat! It's too risky by the weather!" I suggest, as the Commander looked rather hesitant first.

"Commander?" one of the soldier's questions.

Inhaling sharply with a few seconds of thinking, he knew we had no chance within this tough predicament. We've wiped out a few titans already earlier, thinking that the last one was it. No, it was like an ambush of some kind.

Soon he turns to me, "Fire off the retreat smoke, we have too many casualties!"

Nodding, I rummage through my pocket before clicking in the blue smoke canister. Soon I raise it high, notifying everyone instantly.

"Alright Akira, thank you......"

With that he begins to lead the soldier's from the forest, trying to make a retreat. The heavy stomps thunder around, while hearing cries and pleas from many soldier's. My head whips around, as my hair was soaked with droplets falling at the ends of the strands. Clicking the ODM gear, I flew high up and began to circle around from the front and rear.

The painful cries echoes within the danger zone, seeing mostly of our squad have left the area. Following along the trail I begin to take down titan after titan, hoping to finish them all down. Guess this claiming land plan didn't really come to be set in stone this time, especially this mission failing instantly.

"Screw this damn rain," I mutter, anger bubbling in my throat.

***

The rain finally starts to clear up around us, feeling the warm start shining down warming our cold skin. My eyes following along the many corpses that were sprawled in a line, blood soaking the material that covered their faces. Remembering their faces, I knew I've drawn their faces to keep their loyalty to the survey corps in our memories.

"Akira......"

Turning around I notice Miche standing behind me, "Miche.......sorry, lost in thought," I apologise, when he shook his head.

"You came out unscatched again," he comments, before placing a gentle hand upon my shoulder. "We owe our lives, after what you did today."

"H-How?"

He glances around gesturing to only a small amount of casualties, "Less casualties, but we did lose more soldiers today than the ones that survived," He replies. "But it wasn't your fault, it always happens everytime we set foot in titan territory."

Nodding in agreement, I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I guess....." my voice unsure whether to feel better or not, but right now......we failed our mission yet again.

"Everyone, we head back through Shiganshina district!!!!!" Commander Shadis announces, but I could see how firm his tone was. Over time, I've notice our Commander looking more grim, despaired and less hopeful than when I began my time as a soldier.

"Yes sir!"

"Akira!"

Turning around I see one of the men with my horse, holding her reigns for me.

"Here is your horse," he informs me.

Sending him a weak smile I took her reigns, patting her neck softly. Her black fur was muddy and dirty, tattered with crusty blood dried to her fur.

"Good girl," I coo softly, thankful she wasn't stomped upon.

***********

{Shiganshina District}

Bells chiming signalling our arrival from outside, which would alert the citizen's of my hometown to gather around in the centre. Remembering Moses's words, I furrow my eyebrows together.

~ "Also........another message from Commander Shadis," he adds, as we head over to our horses.

"Hmm?"

He passes me a letter, as I took it peeling it open.

Unfolding the crisp yet orange stained letter, my eyes trace over the cursives writing that was imprinted.

'There is something I want you to do, order given by Commander Shadis

We wish for you to help the Garrison out, within Shiganshina District. Knowing your capabilities, you will stay within Shiganshina. There has been a lot of fights, and disruptions and I've overheard the Garrison haven't paid enough attention due to nothing to keep them occupied. Trusting you with this, you may wish to see your family while you're there too. If anything serious comes up, inform me or anyone else who's in charge immediately.

My eyes harden with my mind questioning, on why he wanted me to stay behind. Slowly making our way through my eyes glance up seeing people gathering already, but most of the men we brought back were bleeding out, bruised, and scarred. The horrifying repetition on why we fight, flashing in our minds. Finally reaching near the crowd, I hear people murmuring.

"It's Captain Akira!"

"She's here!!"

Yet I saw people looking discouraged, and angered by us. My eyes fall upon a boy and girl, when I soon recognised the two instantly. Eren and Mikasa was it? They sure have grown, but Eren's face looked to hopeful comparing to the other looks that were shared among the crowd.

Slowly riding my horse beside the Commander, while he kept walking by with a spaced out look. Scarred and falling in despair, realising we failed yet again. Holding the arm of Moses, my grip tightens slightly clenching my jaw in frustration. I tried my best, we all did.......and yet all I felt was an empty void within my own heart.

"Moses! Moses!"

A woman walks out from the crowd, wearing a dark red shawl around her shoulders with an apron on and dark auburn dress. Her face was middle aged, grey hair pulled back into low ponytail.

"Excuse me.......I don't see my son Moses anywhere....." She walks up to the Commander, while I halt my horse with a few others. "........Do you know where he is?"

She clutches his green cape, hoping to find a hopeful answer. Eyes filled with desperation, reflecting her true deep feelings for her son.

"This is Moses' mother, Akira do you have it?........" he turns to me, as I hop down walking over to her.

Her eyes slightly widen stepping back a bit, passing her the wrapped up limb in her hands. Blood tainting the dirty material that wrapped around, seeing her look more horrified. She slowly unwraps it, while I stood back beside the Commander. Soon as the limb was revealed, a sudden broken gasp leaves her lips before covering it up again.

Her painful cries left my heart in pain, "It's all we could retrieve,"

She collapses to her knees while cradling her son's arm, making me remember my last moments with Moses. One of my close comrades, that I only knew for a year or so. The Commander bends down on one knee before the woman, as I held my horses reigns tightly.

"But......my son......he was helpful, yes?" She cries, leaving Shadis speechless. "Even if he didn't achieve direct greatness......surely my son's death helped humanity fight back, yes?!"

Everyone fell dead silent, knowing every death that occurred never fulfilled a purpose. Not where we are at now, especially when all we do is lose more men.

"Of course.........no, on this latest scouting mission, we...." he began, faltering before he could sugarcoat the real truth. "..........no......just like all the other missions......we achieved nothing at all!!"

My eyes widen from his sudden outburst, leaving me to hang my head in shame.

"My incompetence has done nothing but needlessly send soldiers to their deaths!!!!" He admits. "We haven't found out anything about them!"

Soon everyone slowly begins to accept that the people we lost, were no longer able to come back. Slowly the Commander stood up leaving the woman to accept her sons fate, before he turns to me slowly with tears staining his cheeks. He looked drained, tired, lost hope in himself. Even so, he always remained calm at times like these. Yet today, was like the last straw.

"Akira.......you may follow my orders......."

"Huh?"

I forgot about the note......finally knowing we're done after a while we continued on. Nodding I nudge my horse in the side, trailing off in the side before slowly making my way to the main building where I'm supposed to gather with the Garrisons.

**

Swinging my legs to the sound I hop down, before taking my green cloak off strapping to my horse. Tying her to a post, I head over to see a few Garrison soldier's sitting around playing cards. The smell of alcohol wafts in my nose, grimacing in disgust. Soon coming in view, there sat Hannes who had a red hazy face.

"Look wvhat we have 'ere," one of them slurs, pointing a lazy finger towards me. "One of the good for nothing survey corps......."

"Watch your tongue, don't you recognise who this is?" Hannes scolds his comrade.

"Huh?"

Placing my hands on my hips I angle my eyes upon him for a moment, before he shrieks in fright finally realising who I was.

"Yeah, don't get cocky while you're drunk on the job," I remark, sharply. "Seriously Hannes, you have always had a drinking problem........especially when there could be crimes......"

He grins waving his hand, "I'm fine, I'm good......we've got this!" he assures me, with a hearty laugh. "Anyways.......I've heard you returned from your expedition, word has it that your mission failed....again....correct?"

Pursing my lips tightly, I remain silent.

"See, the woman is silent because she's ashamed!" one of his comrades laughs. "Seriously, you should've chosen the garrison, you were chosen in the top ten right? Yet you chose the path of death."

Suddenly snapping in frustration after a long day, I grab his collar swiftly pulling his face close to my own. Dangerously glaring upon him, "Many soldiers give their own lives, so we can find the truth.......yet here you are, drinking til you grow bellies of laziness," I seethe through my teeth.

My heart was about burst, with the instant stress of the lives we lost today.

"Many people's taxes go towards our food, weaponry, clothing, stability so we can find a way to live a comfortable life in the future!" I snap angrily. "Stop wasting the money on booze that will only waste away, got it?!"

His eyes were shaking in fear, not realising I was on the brink of knocking him out.

"Y-Yes....M-Ma'am...."

Slowly releasing him shoving him back upon the crate he sat on, almost