*

YEAR 839 - CADET CORPS - TROST

Slamming my opponent to the ground, a heavy grunt from the impact catches in their throat.

Pressing my palm against their throat, my foot pinned their torso down with a forceful grip. Breathing heavily through our noses, the intense fight become of a close with a light smirk curling upon my lips. Sweat aligns my temple, glistening under the visible warm sun. Winter was already coming in, but training did work a sweat.

"Great Yamasaki, very strong as always!!!"

Releasing my comrade all at once, I took a step back lending them a hand, "Good match," I acknowledge softly, before apologising for their battered wounds. My comrade nods also acknowledging our fair fight, before taking my hand.

Three years have flown by so quickly, with intense training and learning more skills than when what I've learned in Shiganshina. Three whole years since my father has seen me, since his abuse was becoming out of control. His words stung, and he never once cared. The only people I missed was Renji, who must be at least twelve years of age and little Mei must be three.

I hope mother is alright?

"Oi, Yamasaki!" the Commandant calls, ushering me over. "Did you hear....?!"

Dusting my hands on my pants, I jog a few steps towards him.

"Hmm, what?"

He smirks, "I've heard Renji Yamasaki will be joined the new cadet corps, after you graduate," he informs me, causing me to pause. Chills ran up my spine, as if everything paused.

"What? How do you know?"

He folds his arms, "It seems you've got blood of a warrior within ya, you're quite skilled so I assume your brother will be," he assumes, nudging my arm playfully as if he's gonna have the honour training us.

Mother never mentioned this in her letters, so why would he be joining?

Shaking my head, "He shouldn't be joining......so why would he--?"

Cutting myself off I could comprehend how I felt about it, as I swore to mother I'll only become a soldier for our family. Wait, what regiment is he gonna join, if he signs up? What is his reason?

"Oh that reminds me," The Commandant spoke up, breaking the silence. He rummages through his pocket before a letter was in hand. "I've been given a notice that you are needed back to Shiganshina......and one of the Scouts will escort you there."

Surprised, I peel open the crisp white letter, my eyes scanning across the delicate cursive writing. Taking in who sent this to me, I easily recognised her beautiful hand writing. Soon my eyes fall upon a phrase, that left me standing there speechless.

"It's.......my birthday?" I question, taken back at the fact that I've forgotten my own age for a second. It was my sixteenth birthday. Raking my fingers through my messy strands of hair, my eyes were slightly wide. "Sir........what's the date tomorrow?"

He lifts his head, "Hmm......I'm assuming the fifteenth...why?"

Taken back by how much time I consumed myself into my training, I never really counted the days.

"I'm needed at home for something tomorrow, it's urgent," I inform him, remembering mother told me she's doing something for my sixteenth birthday. "I'm sorry about this, I forgot--"

"Hey, how come she'll get to go home?!" one of my comrades calls me out, overhearing the conversation.

The Commandant arches an eyebrow, turning to the young cadet, "I'm the commander, I give the orders.......and Yamasaki has every right to be go home," he sternly informs him, which sent chills down to my fingertips. Shifting his glasses he turns back to me, "Besides.....she has enough scores to have at least three days to be spared, two to travel and one day to rest....."

Smiling ear to ear I salute with my fist, with the letter crinkling in my grasp.

"Thank you Commandant,"

He closes his brown eyes with a smile, "Miche Zacharius offered to escort you, so he'll be down at the front of the training grounds,"

Saluting him again I quickly run down towards the shared cabins, boots clamping up the smaller steps.

Swinging open my door widely I race towards my bunk bed, only to suddenly feel presence inside my quarters. Ignoring him knowing full well who he was, I began to unbuckle my straps as the Commandant added that I could wear my usual casual clothing.

It wasn't a drill or anything, so finally I'm able to dress freely.

Silence soon drifts within the room, feeling the guys presence drawing closer to me from behind.

"Can I help you?" keeping my focus on packing a few things, waiting for him to step outside so I could dress myself.

He dryly scoffs, "Akira Yamasaki........the Southern Regiments strongest soldier," his voice laced with amusement, envy dripping after.

His hands skim down my arms, with a possessive touch.

Swatting his hands away, "Quite patronising me, I have to go leave very soon," I mutter under my breath, tweaking a few tight buckles. Soon my straps fall, pooling beneath me on the floor. Stepping over them, I lift them while winding it up and placed it in the small box under my mattress, kicking it under.

His hot breath fans over my neck, feeling his hands reach to my thick waist, causing my body to flinch. Inhaling sharply, I tried to keep myself calm and composed, hi larger body towers over me from behind.

"Come on, why are you always so strict," He whispers huskily, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear. "We're alone right now, that was the whole entire reason I waited here."

Grimacing in disgust I grab his arm and shoulder sharply, before twisting my body standing right behind him gripping his arm tightly. Swiftly kicking right beneath his knee, his body lurches forward hitting the ground with a heavy thud.

Glaring with a downward gaze, my eyes darken.

"You listen here, one: I'm not ready for relationships......secondly: I'm not interested," I mutter darkly, a shadow casts over my eyes while I have him pinned beneath my foot. "....and third:.....touching a woman first without consent isn't really a turn on....."

Releasing him, I grab his shirt and shoved him out the room, before kicking him down the stairs forcefully. Glaring for a moment, I returned to my quarters and resumed getting dressed. Slipping off the straps around my breasts and back, I grab a fresh navy blue shirt and black jeans with my thigh high soldier boots on.

Without another word I slip my jacket, before heading outside as the snow crunched beneath my boots.

*

"So why did you decide to escort me, big bro?" I questioned, while our horses thundered down the dirt road towards Wall Maria.

The Survey Corps soldier quietly smiles, "I have a few things to do in Shiganshina, and also it's your birthday.....couldn't miss it,"

Miche has known me for years now, as mother said she met him when I was only a baby. He was only a new recruit for the Scouts, and now he's the walls strongest soldier out there. Every year he would try to see me, and train me, and always supported me as a soldier.

Approaching the outside village to the inner gates of the District, I noticed a few familiar faces glancing up in our direction.

Tugging my reigns, our horses began walking slowly, as I took in the small village that quietly did their usual chores or work. It felt so nostalgic, as it's been three years since I've been here. Miche guides me through the gates, being welcomed by a few garrison soldiers before slowly making our way through the streets.

"It's been a while hasn't it," Miche clicked his teeth, seeing a few more buildings been already constructed.

"Hmm.......still, I'm glad to be back," I breath out, relief washing over me before feeling excited.

He chuckles with a small smile, "You've changed in a good way, you seem more confident after three years," he observes, glancing my way. "Damn, you're making me feel much older than I am."

"What? So like you're eighty?" I tease him, earning a stiff scoff from him.

He grimaces shaking his head, "I'm only thirty......turning thirty one," he mutters the last part, while I laugh in response.

"Perfect age, for the Walls strongest soldier.....hmm?" steering my horse closer to him, with a teasing grin. "Seriously, don't you have a wife or anyone in particularly?"

"Nope, don't need anyone...." He replies, with a carefree tone. He glances over, "Besides, I have enough on my plate as it is.....by babysitting you."

Rolling my eyes with a pout, "Come on, I'm not a child......"

Finally we found the front of my home, that stood just in the centre of the district, but it was nice and quiet. Halting in front while feeling eyes watching us, Miche jumps down before helping me down. Thanking him, he ruffled my hair playfully before tying our horses to a wooden post for a moment.

Walking up the cobble stone stairs, hesitation begins to pull myself back, remembering the unpleasant memories.

"You've got this," The giant burly man placed a hand on my shoulder, reassuringly.

Taking a big deep breath in, I exhaled before stepping towards the door knocking twice.

A few seconds pass hearing soft feet walking towards the door, knowing who it was judging by the sound of her firmer walk. The door slowly swings open, revealing mother standing there stunned to see me. Without wasting a moment, I threw my arms around her, earning a warm chuckle to soothe my ears.

"My baby girl, you're finally home," She muses softly, burying her face into my shoulder. She lifts her head, "Miche, come here.....you've grown taller."

Ushering with her hand, he gives her a warm side hug before standing back.

"It's nice to see you, Mrs Yama--"

"Ah!" She scolds him, raising her index finger, arching an eyebrow. "What did we say last time, just call me Katsumi. It makes me feel old, even though you're three years younger than me......"

"Yes, katsumi,"

She smiles, "That's better, now.....how about you come you two come in--?"

Miche shakes his head, "I have a few things I need to do in Shiganshina, but I'll be here for her birthday tomorrow," he declines the offer, gently. "Just wanted to make sure this one," ruffling my hair. "Makes it here safely."

"Thanks Miche, hope everything goes well," Katsumi says softly, before Miche bids himself goodbye for the time being. "Wow, you look tan........must be the sun, and you've gotten toned up......wow...and a little taller!"

I laugh in response, "Okay, okay....you're gonna suffocate me--" before suddenly someone bursts from the door, as arms wrap around my middle unexpectedly. Speak of the little devil.

"Big Sis...!!!!"

I blink in surprise taken back from the sudden welcome, before slowly returning the warm hug.

"Hey shortie......" I chuckle softly, patting Renji's back he held me closely.

My eyes meet with mother's while Renji's arms still embrace me, "He's been missing you like terrible......so, he applied for the cadet corps," Mother informs me, causing myself to falter in my warm welcoming.

Pulling away I look down to Renji, "You and I need to talk later, okay?"

His eyes widen, "Sure!!!"

Standing up I slip off my boots stepping inside, as the sun began to set for the night. Things were rather different in the home, but I knew I was back. Back where my life began, and where I will live on.

*

Though the place felt empty, I could easily tell who wasn't present at him. To my relief I was happy he wasn't here, not wanting to put up with his shit. Three hours past since I arrived, and Renji rambled on about mother teaching him reading and writing, what he's learnt and that mother trained him martial arts that she taught, before I joined the Scouts.

Chewing into my warm home-cooked meal, the savoury aroma of mother's cooking brought back nostalgic memories.

"I've made your favourite," She smiles, pushing her dress beneath her to accommodate some room to sit down beside me. She passes me some bread, "Here, they're buttered with some garlic for you.....just the way you like them...."

My eyes light up, a small smile curls at the corner of my lips.

"Thank you so much," before passing her a piece. "Have some too, please?"

She chuckles, "Don't mind if I do,"

Continuing to eat all in silence I notice two little pigtails, poke up at the end of the table very cutely. Knotting my eyebrows together, the two piggy tails move, before noticing it was little Mei climbing up on the chair in curiosity. She grunts while struggling to climb up, before she locks eyes with mine.

"Hey Mei Mei," I coo softly, seeing her eyes look at me confused.

That's right, she barely can remember me since she was a baby when I left.

Mother places a gentle hand on my shoulder, "She'll warm up around you so quick, as she's quite a social child," She assures me, making me hum in response.

"Fair enough,"

Things are a little different I guess, but that's what happens when you leave for three years.

"Hey Big Sis, I've heard you're number one in the cadet corps?" Renji exclaims, hearing excitement bubbling in his voice. He swallows the rest of his mouthful he had before, while in my head I felt frustrated with my own little brother's choice enlisting in the cadet corps. My instincts kick in, as my protective side begins to show.

Nodding, I place my fork down, leaning back in my chair, "Y-Yeah, that's right.....how did you know?"

His smile grew wider, "I've heard by the garrison soldiers, but some talk down about you as well too!" he pouts, with a displeased expression. "So I give them a whoppin', and I back you up and express how strong you are!"

Rolling my eyes I didn't have much of a heart towards some garrison soldiers, seen some would just sit and drink on the job. I know things were at peace, but we still had crime, human trafficking offenses, theft, allegations of corruptions....and so forth.

Things weren't better at all, and even the underground was the worst.

*

After dressing myself into my Pj's, I threw my thick raven hair up into a loose bun, I walk across the tiny hallway upstairs and stood outside his door. Lowering my eyes, a heavy sigh draws from my lips wondering how to convince in declining his enlistment. My fingertips drift over the cool metal of the doorknob, before gripping with determination.

What was his motive? Why did he want to become a soldier, so badly?

It concerned me more, than the corruption this land is going through.

Take a deep breath in and then out, I push the door open before leaning against the door frame, arms folded. My eyes trail around the tiny room, before seeing Renji at his tiny desk scribbling on some paper. Knocking my knuckle gently on the frame, his head perks up.

"Big Sis! Are you gonna talk to me about something?" He assumes, unaware of how serious this conversation was gonna be. Pinching the bridge of my nose with a deep exhale, I hum in response before making my way over to him. Sitting down upon the mattress, I sink slightly before patting the spot beside him, ushering to sit next to me as well. He follows and sits down beside me, getting comfortable before focusing his attention on me.

My hand slides up and rests against his upper back, my eyes furrow with concern.

Parting my lips hesitantly I soon got the courage, "What is your.......real reason, in becoming a soldier?" dropping the heaviest question, that would make him think twice on his actions.

All I had to do was bite the bullet, and hope for the best this conversation goes smoothly.......

"....."

His eyes flickered to meet mine for a moment, as if confliction was already surfacing to his true feelings. My hand reaches up brushing a few strands of hair from his eyes, "You applied only to keep me company.....because you missed me," I recollect, remembering from earlier. "So........why do something so dangerous.......just because you miss me?....."

He pouts a little with a painful look following, making me look into his azure eyes with assurance.

"Father........he....." he growls in frustration, gripping my jacket tightly but not forcefully. "......you don't deserve to be treated the way father does......that bastard! What gives him the right to disown you.....it's not fair--"

He cuts himself off, his knuckles turning white while realising his actions. He lowered his hands releasing me, but I shuffle closer pulling him closer to my side, rubbing his back soothingly. The frustration finally being surfaced, allowing me to understand how much he had to suffer under father's watchful eye. 

Sighing deeply he looks up to me hesitantly, "....he's been also pressuring me, wanting me to be strong and better.....to suck it up," He continued, his voice trembling. "Even mother doesn't know about it--"

"What don't I know about.....huh?" a sudden soft voice appeared, seeing mother leaning against the doorframe with her arms folded. 

Renji began to fumble over his own words, becoming incoherent and trembling as to rethink his words. However, he buried his face into my chest out of nowhere, following with muffled sobs inaudible for only mother and I to hear. Startled by Renji's unusual behaviour, I slowly held him closer to me and scratched his back soothingly.

"Hey.....hey, come now......" I whispered, my brows creased with worry while mother walked up to us both and sat on the other side of renji. She placed a tender hand upon his back as well, her eyes meet mine with worry and concern.

"Sweetie, what has been happening?" Mothers whispered softly, enough to try and get him to open up to her. It wasn't because he could, but it was because I could see that mother has been struggling with father. He was the main problem, the centre issue between our family. It was tearing us all apart, and to think Mei would be next to endure his abuse. "Come on......Renji, why couldn't you tell me....you know I'm your moth--"

"It doesn't matter!" Renji snapped with tears, his voice muffled in my shirt while I held him tighter. He lifted his face to show his red blotchy face, tears streaming down while facing mother. Mother pulled out a handkerchief and wiped away his tears, and nose while tenderly cupping his face. "I....I.....couldn't..........you've been h-hurt...." his voice was becoming harder to breath, as the mental exhaustion hits him after all this time.

Mother worriedly caressed his tears stained cheeks, eyes glazed with tears and bloodshot red.

"Renji......" My voice came smooth, and warm coaxing the tension. ".......if this wish of yours if to leave father's lectures and intense pressure, then I won't stop you. You do what you think is best, but I will warn you.......the outside world is cruel....I can't lose you out there.....so, if you choose the Scouts like me......I'll protect you. You understand me?"

His azure eyes swimming with tears meet mine, shocked by how willing I gave him freedom. Mother knew what I was thinking, and didn't say a word but hum in agreement.

"So.....will you accept your sister's wish? Will you accept your decision?" Mother asked him seriously, her eyes filled with confliction after finding the truth. The horrors of father's doing to Renji, that I couldn't allow him to suffer like this. 

After a moment of consideration, and time to slowly cool down from his sudden emotional outburst, he took a deep breath in and then out. Closing his eyes, I waited patiently for his decision, preparing myself to step up.

"I'll......I'll become a Scout, by my own