Sunday, May 1, 1966 (About seventeen weeks pregnant)

☆ﾐ ROSE

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   THESE PAST WEEKS have been extremely confusing. After being checked out of the hospital I did not attend school which is causing my grades to drop. The next thing was that Cherry and I are slowly becoming friends again but I don't entirely trust her after everything she's done but I did appreciate her helping me. Randy, Bob, and Marcia are going to have a trial in a couple of weeks to determine if they are guilty or not. I was really hoping they would be convicted and was scared about that. With the gang, it has been good we all hang out when we can, and now that my stomach has grown they love to crack jokes particularly Two-Bit. With Dal, he was still very stubborn, and he had been a lot kinder to me however still will always want to maintain his bad-boy image.

We were currently at the Curtis Home all hanging out. My aunt Jennifer has been helpful to the gang even providing groceries and cooking appetizing meals. I was glad to see everyone getting along no matter what our reps were and all that. I sat on the couch as I watched Two-Bit and Steve arm wrestling on the ground it was entertaining but also strange. Johnny and Hazel were in the corner whispering to each other about something we couldn't quite hear. They weren't together at least that's what they said when we picked fun at their cute little relationship. Soda and Mary sat next to each other talking about the DX lately they had begun to become a lot closer but I still felt as if Soda still liked me since he always had a look of jealousy when Dal talked or was near me in any way. Ponyboy was reading a book like always and then Dal who sat next to me was also watching the arm wrestling.

"So Rose what are you going to do about school? Aren't you a junior?"Darry questioned as he stepped into the living room. Everyone soon stopped what they were doing and turned to face me. I knew Darry didn't mean to make me feel as if I'm being interrogated by some cops but it felt like I was in that situation. I hadn't known what I would do about school since I wasn't sure if I was keeping the twins yet.

"Yes, I am a junior. And to be truthful I'm not sure."I nervously began to pick at my nails as the awful silence was too much to handle. I didn't want to be judged for my choice. If I did keep the twins, I would have to give up a lot including my dreams of going to college but if I gave them away to a nice family I would still have the opportunity to go to college and get a degree and the job I desired.

"You are keeping the twins, right?" Johnny asked with both of his eyebrows raised up while he and the others kept their gaze on me. I glanced over at Dal and again I saw that look where he happened to be irritated by this conversation. I always felt guilty because somewhere in me wanted to keep them more than anything else in the world but seeing Dal I knew he didn't want this. He was so young, so I understood that he didn't want to be responsible over two newborns. He was the life of the party he liked drinking and smoking and that doesn't precisely fit being a father.

"No, I don't think so," I confided as I clenched on to the locket I had been given on my birthday. The room that had once been filled with laughter and chatter was now silent and uncomfortable. I knew the gang for whatever reason wanted me to keep the babies along with Mary and Hazel who clearly did too. But again I couldn't wreck someone's life over that and even if I would keep them there's no promise that Dal would even be in their lives or be of any help. Did I really want to spend my life worrying if my twins will be fed or clothed properly? No matter how complicated adoption would be at least I wouldn't have to worry I told myself.

"Who wants spaghetti?" Jennifer popped her head into the living room cheerfully as ever not seeming to notice that the room was tense and that nobody has been happy anymore.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" Johnny tapped my shoulder as I was heading my way to the kitchen. Despite my immense craving for spaghetti, I nodded my head, and he pulled me aside. I realized that Dal had now walked out probably to smoke a weed. But quickly turned my attention back to Johnny's question.

"So what is it?" I inquired I wasn't nervous around Johnny since he was one of my closest friends from the gang ever since I was younger. I felt for him because of his horrible parents and how they abused him. He didn't deserve that he was polite and cared a lot about his friends.

"Well, I think you should keep the babies."

  "Johnny-"

"No, just hear me out, Rose! I think you should keep them because I can tell the only reason why you're choosing not to keep them is because of Dal, and he shouldn't be the reason why you shouldn't keep your own kids. You got everything you need Rose you have a huge house and Jennifer clearly supports you. I'm sure she would help, and you can still do the things you want to like school. And most importantly you have us." Johnny described all these things to me making me want to cry. I understood his viewpoint and was thankful for him but Dal still lingered in my mind.

  "What about Dal? I don't want to screw up his life. And I don't know about school and all that." I explained as I looked out the window seein Dal appearing to be pissed off and stressed. I for some reason wanted to go outside and help him, but Dal didn't talk about his feelings to anyone, so I dismissed that idea and stayed focus on Johnny. 

  "I don't know about Dal, but I do know he cares he might not show it, but he does. And maybe he will come around someday and maybe he won't but you will have us. You won't destroy his life at all trust me. And maybe you can wait until the twins are older and go to school again I don't know. I'm not that smart when it comes to school stuff or whatever." I smiled hearing Johnny's little speech. I began to imagine my life if I had these twins. My mother always did mention that kids were a blessing but at 17 were they? I wasn't convinced but Johnny's pleading eyes made me reconsider my feelings for adoption.

"Fine..." I let out not entirely certain if I'm making the best decision but something in me told me that keeping them would somehow help me and possibly help me heal from the pain of losing both of my parents. Johnny then motioned to the door and I turned to see that the gang had been hiding and listening to our whole conversation from the beginning.

  "Wait so you're keeping it?!" Mary yelled with excitement in her voice. I nodded my head with a massive grin on my face. Soon the gang all cheered and ran to hug me. We joked about how they all smelled of cancer sticks, booze, sweat, and other weird smells when they had hugged me around the dinner table as we relished the amazingly good spaghetti Jennifer had prepared for us. I had completely forgotten about Dal until he rushed in slamming the door reeking of booze. He must have gone to one of Buck's parties that's why he had been gone for so long.

"M-Man let me speak to Rose." He drunkenly mumbled as he slurred on his words. Darry and Steve dragged him away to Pony and Soda's room and I quickly got up to go talk to Dal.

"Rose you should finish your dinner. He's gonna' say some shit that's not gonna be nice." Instead of listening to Steve's warning, I walked into the bedroom to see him laid on the bed with his lip being slightly cut. I didn't know why but didn't suspect anything.

"Hey, Dal it's Rose. What happened to your lip?" I asked while Darry, who remained in the room placed a cloth to help stop the bleeding.

"Randy and Bob." I stepped back as he mentioned the boys who had attacked me and I connected everything together. He had most likely beat up both of them. Darry also seemed surprised but continued to clean up his bleeding lip.

"Did you beat up Randy and Bob?" I quietly asked Dal who was closing his eyes clearly exhausted.

  "Nobody hurts my Rose." He muttered out before turning away to sleep. I was shocked but knew that his choice of words was due to the fact that he was drunk. I couldn't help but think he had said 'My Rose' but tried my best to hide my nervousness from this. Darry didn't say anything and instead walked out of the room. Soda walked in certainly hearing Dal since he appeared annoyed. But I didn't care about that. I was only curious about Dal's words.