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Since she was young, Sol knew she wanted a big family like her parents. Five, six, or maybe even more kids. Her husband would be just as nurturing as her and they would never yell at each other. Instead, they would have mature discussions and resolve their differences. She knew she wanted someone who would be the best father in the world. She thought she had found all that in Taehyung, but he was too immature at the time. She would give up her dream until she found everything she wanted in Godfrey. Despite being fifteen years older, Godfrey was more mature, responsible, and selfless. They both wanted the same things in life but most importantly, he was the only person that understood Sol to levels her family and friends never could.

While Godfrey was visiting Sol, they were interrupted by a nurse who needed to take her to run some tests. Godfrey used the opportunity to go see their daughter. Sol was taken out ina wheelchair. Twenty-five minutes later, Sol finished her tests and asked if the nurse could take her to see her daughter.

What they walked into was a mesmerizing sight. A shirtless Godfrey was holding his daughter to his chest. Also known as the Kangaroo hold or care, this practice not only helped them bond but also helped stabilize the infant. The scene before her is tender and beautiful, yet it also elicits a sense of fragility and vulnerability. Her heart swells with love, admiration, and immense gratitude—gratitude that their daughter, despite her premature birth, is alive and breathing and that Godfrey is there, holding everything together.

She feels a pang of sadness, and guilt even, for not being able to be the one to cradle their baby this way, for not having the strength to be the first source of warmth and comfort to their child. Sol felt betrayed by her own body. She can't even carry a pregnancy full-term. But at the same time, watching Godfrey so naturally embrace the role of a father reassures her that everything will be okay. There's a gentle ache in her chest, the kind that comes when love is so profound it's almost painful. Tears gather in her eyes, but they're not just tears of sadness or fear—they're also tears of joy and relief.

Seeing him there, holding their daughter with such tenderness and care brings Sol back to all the dreams she had for her family. The picture she sees is exactly what she imagined, if not more. Godfrey's calm, soothing presence, the gentle way he rocks their baby back and forth, the quiet whisper of his voice as he hums to their daughter—it's everything she had hoped for in a partner. It's almost surreal, like a dream she doesn't want to wake up from.

She also feels admiration—admiration for Godfrey's strength and how he remains unwaveringly supportive and present, even as she herself struggles with her recovery. It's in this moment that Sol realizes, perhaps more deeply than ever before, just how lucky she is to have Godfrey by her side. Despite everything—the fear, the complications, the uncertainty—Godfrey's presence is like a lighthouse guiding her through the storm.

After weeks in the hospital, Sol was finally discharged and could continue recovering from home. However, Sol would not be coming home with her baby. Instead, their premature daughter would stay in the NICU where she would recover.

During the ride home, Godfrey hinted at a surprise awaiting Sol. They weren't driving in the busy streets of the city to their penthouse. Instead, they were driving down roads where houses were minimal and limited until there were no houses left but woods.

"I think I started loving you earlier in our relationship than you realize. Before I didn't know what was next for me after peaking in my career, but now I do. You have given me so much, that I wanted to give back even more. This was meant to be my engagement gift to you." Sol turned away from the surrounding woods and looked at Godfrey. He had a small smile.

His words came about randomly but were meaningful to her. Sol wasn't going home to the familiar apartment that held memories of the last four years. Sol now knew she was home to the estate where they would build new memories.

The car approached a beautiful mansion. It was a modern estate but was surrounded by nature. As they drove into the gates, Sol noted the large greenhouse sitting beside the house. The whole time, Sol's attention was taken away by the details. Due to still being too weak to walk on her own, she couldn't tour the home, but Godfrey told her all about it.

The whole house was built to support a large family. There was a large family room, two gyms, two basketball courts—for Godfrey, two swimming pools, a garden, a kid's playground, a greenhouse, an arcade, multiple kitchens, a game room, and so much more. There were over 15 bedrooms but only 6 of them were guest bedrooms. The rest were for them, their kids, and any future kids they have

Despite never informing Sol about the construction, Godfrey got everything right. He knew the type of wood she wanted. He knew the carpet she preferred for the kids' room versus other rooms. He even knew the decor Sol liked.

Sol never told him of these details but they were all there.

Godfrey took Sol to her room on the first floor. The room was bright with open windows showing the backyard. In the middle of the room there was a queen sized bed with medical machines on the bedside.

"This is your room for the time being. When you get better, you'll stay in our bedroom," Godfrey explained.

From then on, Sol would find herself staying in bed more often than she had in the hospital. A professional nurse helped Sol with everything and even took care of the kids when Godfrey was gone. At the hospital, Sol was recovering at a constant rate, each day walking a little more and gaining her strength little by little. Now her progress seemed to regress.

Sol didn't know what it was, why was she feeling this. She got more time with the kids and Godfrey could now see her whenever. She was no longer surrounded by doctors all the time. Better yet, she was at home.

Is that the problem? She thought.

This house reminded Sol that she almost died while trying to for her life dream. Everything was so big and grand, but what was the purpose of it all if there were no kids to fill it? That would lead Sol to think about death. She almost died giving birth and so did her daughter. And thinking about that made Sol think about her miscarriage. That then made her think about some of the darkest times in her life.

"This is all too depressing for me," she whispered to herself.

Sol began to lose all of the strength she had regained post-surgery and you could tell on her face.

"Why do you look sad, eomma?" Taesoo would ask her. Even her son started to notice.

The only light source left in that room would be from the television and the lamp on her nightstand. The curtains were kept closed and the room was no longer as bright as it once was.

To get her mind off these thoughts, she watched TV. Many times, Sol would watch other groups perform in music shows and she slowly got to know of all the recent groups. Before, Sol did not have time to even think about other groups, but now she was learning everything about them. She watched groups that she had never heard of before but were very popular, for example, Riize. She didn't know SM was debuting a new group until then. But watching these rookies made her reminisce about her own rookie years.

Sol would then watch her old movies and shows. When she watched The Lover, she noticed the loving way she looked at Godfrey. Sol could tell which scene she and Godfrey had become closer in their relationship. When Sol watched Sky of Love, she could only cringe at her own acting.

It took a very, very long time for Sol to get out of bed. Many times, Sol refused visitors because she didn't want them to see her in that state.

By January of 2024, Sol finally felt like herself again. It took baby steps, but she has come far. She could now spend time with her kids that she had lost while bedridden. She picked up painting and hung many cute portraits in her kid's bedroom. One time, Taesoo even joined Sol in her art studio which turned into a mess. Godfrey always worked out in the mornings but began to do it in the afternoon so he could help Sol get back to her usual routine.

In February, Sol left the house for the first time. She met with friends she hadn't seen in months. She celebrated her 25th birthday with her family instead of throwing a party. Sol was most grateful that she was healthy enough to attend Hana's wedding.

In March, Sol and Godfrey continued planning their own wedding that was supposed to take place at the end of 2023. This was before they knew they were pregnant. After Sol finished touring and promotions, they wanted to take a long break for their wedding and honeymoon. But plans changed.

By this time, life was mostly back to normal. Except for the fact that Godfrey refused to have sex with Sol. It had been months since they last had sex and they both wanted it so bad, but Godfrey was too scared. Although Sol looked as if she had recovered, he couldn't forget how fragile she was not that long ago. Godfrey was too scared of hurting her. Sol would plead and beg, but Godfrey wouldn't change his mind. It took Sol a confirmation from her doctor saying that she was allowed to have sex for Godfrey to feel okay with doing it. And even then, he was gentle the entire time.

"Godfrey stop, this doesn't feel good. You act like you're too scared to touch me," Sol said, pulling herself away from him.

"That's because I am! The only image in my head is me accidentally ripping open your scar with my dick!" He defended.

"Oh my god.."

It might've taken a long time for Sol to get back up on her feet, but it took the couple even longer to reestablish their sex life. Godfrey would literally make Sol cry during sex from both pleasure and pain because that's how intense their sex life was. They had a designated bed for all of their lewd acts, boxes full of toys, and tapes of many encounters. How could they go from that to Gofrey being too scared to even put the tip in?

In April, their daughter was completely brought back to health. She was now five months old and everyone was more than ready to have her home. Outside of family, Jisoo was the first one to meet the baby. Not many people knew Sol had kids, but the few that did were meeting the new family member one by one.

The baby has vibrant eyes, green like Godfrey's. But she had the same eye shape as Myah.

Both Sol and Godfrey's mother stayed with the family in their new home for a few weeks. They fought over who would take care of the kids, especially the new baby girl. It was nice to have someone to help out with the kids, but it felt like the actual parents had no bonding time with them.

When June finally came, Sol and Godfrey couldn't be more excited. Sol cried a lot before the wedding because she had wanted this so bad. And she knew she deserved it all; Godfrey, the grand event, her family and friends. She was patient and waited for her time and it has finally come.

After getting married in the Cathedral in England, the couple drove away in a vintage car. Inside, Sol showed Godfrey her wedding gift to him. Sol pulled out a cassette tape labeled "20.12.20".

"I thought it would resonate with you more if you listened to this on a cassette tape. That's what your generation used right?" Sol joked. Godfrey rolled his eyes while she giggled.

"Just listen to it. It'll take you exactly the whole drive for you to finish."

Godfrey put on the headphone and did as she said—he listened. It was a song she wrote. Sol has written many songs about Godfrey before and even released some of them, but these sounded so different from the rest of them.

He stared out the window and leaned his head back.

Sol really wanted to see his reaction, but she wanted to save it until he finished the whole thing. She took turned to the window and stared at the passing view. The entire time they held hands, resting on the seat between them.

When they arrived to their destination, Sol unbuckled her seatbelt. She was about to get Godfrey's attention so they could get out of the car but stopped herself. Godfrey was crying. She wiped away his tears and joked, "That good huh?"

[i was going to write more but, I just want to get this published already so I can work on other things]

【 ⚬━━━♔━━ 。 。━━♚━━━。】