𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓/𝟏.𝟕. 
☆ PROXIMITY ☆
"𝓘 𝓬𝓪𝓷'𝓽 𝓬𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮."

☆꧁*꧂☆

   IT'S BEEN HALF an hour since the fog has assailed. Allaia, Bellamy and Charlotte were sitting in the cave in complete silence, immersed in their own thoughts. Alle's face was contorted in a sense of guilt. She was blaming herself for not being brave enough to attempt to save Atom. The images of him, laying somewhere on the ground, completely on his own, as the fog was burning his skin like a living fire with its acidic qualities, were crossing through her mind constantly. The amount of unbearable pain Atom must have felt was keeping her unsettled and extremely worried. Even though she wasn't the reason of his suffering, her conscience was making her restless.

   Bellamy was watching Allaia stealthily with concern written on his face. He was sitting a few meters away from her on the same side of the cave's wall. Her eyes gleaming with sorrow betrayed it all. Bellamy could only guess what was going through her mind. All he wanted to do at that moment was to take her in his arms and comfort her; say everything would be alright, but he knew Allaia needed space right now to process it on her own. 

   Charlotte was sneakily staring at the two. A small smile popped up on her lips as she sensed the words that were left unspoken between Allaia and Bellamy. Although Lottie was young, she realized that Bellamy's gaze directed at Alle held so much more emotion than it seemed. 

"Angel, are you okay?" Bellamy spoke carefully as if he was afraid he would startle her with louder volume. 

   Allaia's head shot upwards at the sound of his cautious and gentle voice. His soft tone made her heart flutter. She found it strange that such a simple gesture was able to cease her worries; make them disappear almost instantly. As Lai looked deeply into Bellamy's distressed eyes, she felt her mood improve even more when they started softening directly after she laid her eyes upon them. The influence he had on her appeared unexplainable to Allaia who couldn't exactly figure out why Bellamy affected her so much.

"I'm fine, Bellamy." She assured. "Just a little worried."

"A little?" He scoffed. "You look like you're about to explode from guilt, love. I don't get it. You didn't do anything. Why are you blaming yourself?" Bellamy inquired curiously. 

"It's just the way I am, Bellamy." Allaia replied, playing with her fingers nervously. "I care. I always did. Too much sometimes, as you can see. It's stronger than me." She admitted. "Being oversensitive is my biggest flaw, maybe except being a lazy ass. I always wanna help and when I can't... It just makes me feel so sad and guilty, even though I don't have a reason to be. I always overthink afterwards. Like... Oh, I could've done this, and that. Pathetic, I know."  Allaia laughed sadly. "I gotta pull myself together or I'm gonna end up dead really soon." 

"I don't think it's pathetic, Allaia." Bellamy protested. "I think you're strong. You know, it takes a real courage to be willing to sacrifice yourself for someone else. Like you did with Octavia when the river monster attacked you both. Angel, you freaking saved her life, even though O was a total stranger to you. You didn't care you could get hurt. You just followed your instinct. It's impressive, love." 

"Other people would say it's rather suicidal, not selfless." Alle mumbled.

"Is it?" Bellamy implied with a hint of seriousness in his demanding tone.

"What? No!" Allaia denied quickly. "But... others see it like this. Most people don't believe that someone can be genuinely altruistic."

"Then don't listen to them, princess." Bellamy said. "You're a hero, not kamikaze. It's actually funny how perfect my nickname fits you. You're like a real angel who fell from heaven to protect lives." He winked.

Allaia blushed slightly at his words. "Okay, that was really cheesy. Don't say it again or I'm gonna throw up." She laughed loudly, still a little embarrassed. 

A wide smile appeared on Bellamy's face at the sound of her melodic giggle. "I'm glad I could make you feel better, love."

"Yeah, thank you, Bell." 

"You called me Bell." Bellamy noticed.

Allaia realized her mistake. "Oh, I'm sorry! I mean, it's just kinda slipped out. If you're not okay with this, then—" 

"Angel, relax." Bellamy grinned. "You can call me Bell anytime you wish."

"Okay, Bell." She chuckled.

   They stayed silent for a few minutes, sneakily glancing at each other with slight smiles on their faces when the other one wasn't looking.

"Lai, I was just wondering..." Bellamy started, immediately gaining her full attention. "Why is Finn so protective of you?" A ting of jealousy was audible in his tense voice.

"Why are you so protective of Octavia?" Allaia replied mysteriously.

"I don't see how my relationship with Octavia has anything to do with my question." He complained at the lack of the response he wanted to hear.

"That is literally the same thing." She chuckled.

"No, it's not." Bellamy protested.

"Yeah, it is." Allaia confirmed with a twinkling spark in her gaze. 

Bellamy's eyes glimmered in realization. "Wait... Finn's your brother?!" He exclaimed, digesting her confession.

Allaia only nodded, trying to suppress a laugh. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" Bellamy inquired.

"I only found out like... three days ago?" Alle said. "And why would I brag about having brother? I mean, it's illegal on the Ark. My whole existence is freaking illegal, so..." She sighed heavily.

"You're just like Octavia." He whispered and sat closer to her. Their shoulders were now touching. "You know, I was actually wondering what someone as kind as you could do to get locked up. I guess I have my answer now." He exhaled sadly. "How old were you when they found out about you, angel?" Bellamy muttered, genuinely afraid of her response. He intertwined his fingers with hers and squeezed her hand reassuringly. 

"It's actually hard to tell." Allaia admitted quietly. "I'd say... Around a month, two maybe?"

"What?" Bellamy's eyes were now wide opened, filled with pure disbelief. 

"Did I forget to mention?" She chuckled with no sign of a sense of humor. "I was still in my mother's womb then. They knew about me from the beginning." A tear ran down her cheek. "I lived in the Sky Box my entire life."

   Bellamy was having a hard time processing Allaia's words. He was speechless, unable to utter anything. The girl sitting next to him was like an alternative version of Octavia, whose existence was discovered instead of remaining unknown for so long.  The hell Allaia was forced to go through scared Bellamy. It was impossible for him to imagine how lonely she must have felt all this time. Her confession made him infuriated. He clenched his jaw, fuming with pure rage. His hatred towards Jaha and the Council increased even more. Bellamy was incapable of understanding how could they be so cruel to convict an innocent baby to such an inhuman fate. 

"I'm so sorry, love." He whispered, gently caressing her hair. "I... I don't know what to say. I can't imagine—" Bellamy mumbled, playing with Lai's fingers.

"It's okay." Allaia assured. "It's still really... fresh, you know? A week ago, I was still stuck in that stupid box." Her head automatically settled on his shoulder. 

Bellamy sighed heavily. "Sweetheart... Whenever you feel like talking to someone about it, or anything else, just remember I'm here for you, okay?" 

Allaia nodded shyly, a little flustered by his tenderness.

"So... How are you feeling with being a little Collins?" He asked, trying to brighten her up.

   Allaia bit her lip in hesitation, not knowing if she should tell Bellamy the truth. 

"My surname isn't actually Collins." She eventually replied in honesty.  "It's Kane." Allaia's face contorted in disgust. 

"You're Marcus Kane's daughter?" Bellamy exclaimed in a voice dripping with disbelief.

"Unfortunately." She muttered.

"You're... technically one of the privileged?" 

"Privileged my ass." Allaia snorted. "I saw my father once. A moment before the launch. I spent my whole life in prison for the crime I didn't commit. How can you say that?" She was outraged.

"Right, sorry, angel. I just... I don't get it. How could your father let you rot in the Sky Box?" Bellamy inquired angrily. "Why didn't he visit you or try to get Jaha to release you?"

"Who knows?" Allaia grunted. "What can I say, he's a jerk." She sighed.

"Yeah. He is." Bellamy chuckled. "Hey, princess? How about you sleep for a while? You look really tired, love. I'll take the watch." 

"Okay." She whispered.

   Allaia placed her head on Bellamy's shoulder, positioning herself leisurely. She silently hoped his proximity would chase away her nightmares which haunted her every time she slept. His touch usually soothed Allaia, so maybe Bellamy could miraculously cast out her bad memories constantly replaying themselves in her dreams. 

   Eventually, her heavy eyelids closed and she fell asleep, praying the face of the person she hated the most in this world wouldn't emerge from her past.

☆꧁*꧂☆

   Allaia abruptly shot upwards as the door to her cell opened with a loud thud. A gasp full of fear escaped her mouth when her eyes spotted Nixon Harris — her tormentor  — who plagued her life like an irreversible disease, sucking viability out of her existence. He abused her whenever he had the chance to. 

   Nixon was rather a handsome boy. However, his almost black eyes seemed to possess a terrifying secret. When he was mad, a dark glint shined in his irises. That dangerous sparkle always frightened Allaia to the core. 

   They met for the first time when Lai was thirteen, nearly fourteen, and Nixon was barely seventeen. He has just started training as a guard and his daily task was to patrol cells in the Sky Box with his mentor to familiarize with the procedures. 

   When Nixon laid his eyes upon Allaia, he instantly took an interest in her. An illegal child, locked up her whole life, so lonely all the time, with no one to talk to. Nixon saw a kindred spirit in Allaia. His parents were floated when he was young, so he'd always felt abandoned and isolated. He was an outcast. His classmates pointed fingers at him, calling him a poor little orphan. He felt misunderstood and unloved. 

   As a result, Nixon decided to befriend Allaia. He would often visit her in the Sky Box and tell her stories about the Ark. At first, Alle genuinely liked Nixon and considered him her first friend. 

But then something changed.

    Nixon desired proximity more than anything in this world. He longed warmth and closeness since he was deprived of the purest kind of love as a little boy. He started subtly suggesting Alle his intentions towards her. It was rather innocent at first. Nixon would caress her hair, touch her hand or hug her a little longer than it seemed appropriate for simply friends. However, he quickly grew tired of her blindness towards his courting. 

   It's been over half a year; Allaia was almost fifteen. Nixon decided to confess his feelings to Lai, but she didn't feel the same way. Allaia only saw Nixon as her friend. 

   He was furious with her reaction. Alle's rejection offended him. Wasn't he enough? Didn't he deserve love?

   So he tried to force himself on her, possessed by suppressing feelings burning inside of him. Allaia was terrified. She's never seen him like this before. He acted so violent and attempted to violate her by strength. Allaia's first kiss was taken away from her without her permission. The way Nixon's lips forcefully moved against hers left an excruciating mark on her psyche. She had always imagined her first kiss in the romantic scenario with the person she genuinely liked, but reality rendered way more bitter. Alle managed to plead him to stop before he took his actions even further.  

   Nonetheless, Nixon changed irrevocably. He became aggressive. The only reason why he ever came to visit her was to take his anger out on her. Nixon would slap Allaia and punch her in the places no one could notice the traces of abuse. According to Nixon, Alle deserved to be tortured after she mercilessly disregarded his love for her. He fell for her and that's how she repaid him?

   Allaia was afraid of him to the core. He was bringing her so much pain and misery. Her whole body felt like it was about to break into thousands little pieces every time Nixon threw another hit. 

   The worst thing was that she couldn't tell anyone about Nixon tormenting her. He threatened Lai that even if she said anything about the true purpose of his visits, he would kill everyone she cared about. Her father, her sibling, Abby — their lives were at the stake. Allaia knew she couldn't risk their safety by turning Nixon in. He was mentally unstable and very much capable of murdering them. So instead she chose to sacrifice her well-being and suffer in silence. 

   The hell her life became was unbearable. 

☆꧁*꧂☆

   That day Nixon was angrier than usual. His glimpse held so much hatred and spite, and his fists were clenched tightly. Nixon glared at Allaia. A dreadful smirk formed on his lips as he scanned her tiny figure with his eyes. 

    Allaia's hands started shaking terribly. Her gaze was filled with so much fear. Anxiety rose in her stomach, in panic of the upcoming pain. Every breath she took was erratic, uneven. She looked like a startled animal. 

   Nixon slowly made his way towards Alle. His eyes were now void; no sign of emotion was visible in his cast. He looked like a robot, an empty machine incapable of feelings. He stopped his steps right before Allaia who was sitting on the bed. His hand reached for her hair, gently putting its strand behind her ear. The gesture only seemed affectionate. In reality, Nixon's toxic desire of proximity drove him mad. He couldn't get over his infatuation with Allaia, so he sought her touch like an addict.

"Well, well, well..." Nixon whispered. "Who do we have here?" 

Allaia started playing with her fingers nervously, avoiding his eyes.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He pulled her firmly by the hair, causing Allaia to face him.

   She hissed, instinctively placing her hand on her head. Her fright only heightened as she stared at his nearly black eyes full of distaste.

"You know what, Allaia? I'm fucking sick of this." Nixon growled, slapping her hardly, but not to heavily in order not to leave a mark. "Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? You think you can just play with my feelings and get away with it?" 

   He grabbed her harshly by her arms, making her to stand up. Suddenly, she was pressed against the wall and a hand was placed on her neck, cutting her access to the air.

"You think I'm unworthy of you, don't you?" Nixon roared. "You despise me! You act like a fucking queen, but the truth is, you're just a bitch who no one cares about!" 

   Allaia's eyes started watering as she desperately tried to catch a breath, but it only caused his hand to tighten around her throat. 

"Since I can't have you... Why don't I just do everyone a favor and simply kill you?" A dark smirk popped up on his lips. "I'm sure your dear daddy would be happy. I mean, it's not like he actually cares about you." He chuckled. "You're just a problem no one knows how to deal with. You're illegal, Allaia, but it's unethical to kill a minor. The only reason why they're letting you breathe."  He taunted slowly.

   Nixon let go of her neck and Allaia gasped, taking a few deep breaths rapidly. Tears were streaming down her face. His words hurt her more than physical abuse. They were like the sharpest knife whose blade was pounding its way into her thin skin all over again.

"You're a fucking waste, Allaia! No one loves you and no one ever will, except for me!" He yelled, punching her in the stomach. "We're the same, why can't you see that?! We're both unloved and misunderstood! We are made for each other, my little flower." He caressed her cheek. "But you think I'm some kind of trash who doesn't deserve your love. You're just like everyone else!" Nixon sneered, hitting her repeatedly in the abdomen. 

   Allaia was sobbing loudly as she struggled to breathe. She tried to shield herself from his enraged blows, but Nixon was way stronger than her. There was no chance Alle could fight back. It wasn't worth a try. Lai would only risk provoking Nixon and as a result, he would become even more violent. Allaia wasn't sure she could endure that.

"Please, stop." She cried out, falling to her knees out of unbearable pain. "Nixon, please... I'm begging you. I can't take it anymore." 

"Just love me and it'll all stop, little one."  He whispered. "I need you to love me. Tell me you love me." Nixon demanded. 

"It doesn't work like that." Allaia whimpered. "I can't choose who I love, Nixon." 

Nixon slammed his fist onto the nearest wall in pure rage. 

"Bullshit." He snapped. "If you just tried... It would all be different! But no, you think you're so much better than me! Fucking bitch." Nixon spat, kicking her in the stomach. Allaia yelped achingly, clutching her abdomen. "You're worthless, Allaia! No one loves you. And no one loves me!" 

"That's why we're perfect for each other, babe." Nixon caressed her cheek and wiped her tears away. "But if you don't come around soon... I will be forced to kill you, my darling Allaia. I don't want to, but if I can't have you, then no one ever will!" He screamed, slapping her again. "And after I kill you, I'll kill myself too. You'll have eternity to learn how to love me. Just you and me. Forever." He purred, placing a hard kiss on her swollen lips which caused her to shudder in disgust.  

   Nixon walked out of the cell without sparing Allaia another glance. She was sobbing quietly on the floor with her knees pressed against her chest.