When Hiro had returned with my Father, who agreed on letting Baymax watch over me until I was better, I wished that the ground under me had opened up. My Father was not happy with me in the slightest since I woke up, but he didn't yell at me either. The disappointment and hurt which I could feel rolling off him like waves stabbed me more excruciatingly than a knife possibly could. He was upset with me, and within good reason. He was upset that I never managed to find it within myself, to confide with him how I had been feeling for the last two years. Upset that I had shouldered so much responsibility, believing I could handle it when the truth was that I was using it as a distraction from actually facing my feelings.
I wanted to hide away in shame when he told me off, my face was probably on the verge of melting from embarrassment, especially since Hiro was right next to him as I was being lectured.
He was quick to move the conversation along as he called Baymax out to scan me, and I could do nothing but lay there as Baymax listed off my diagnosis, which I had to give permission for.
"Diagnosis..."
I slowly hid myself under the blankets as they were read out, and I could see both Hiro and my Father pale with each diagnosis being listed off.
"Clinical Depression."
"Chronic Anxiety and paranoia."
"Insomnia."
"The common cold."
"Vitamin C deficiency."
"And, a Vitamin D deficiency."
There was a tense silence which filled the room, only broken when I released an muffled, but unpreventable sneeze from under my duvet.
"Kshoo"
"Y/nnnnnnn-"
I heard Father's voice, leading my name in a stern tone of voice.
I lowered the duvet to argue with him or soften the state in how I was currently presented. Unfortunately, my body hates me for the stress I've put it through, and despite having eaten some pretty good food for breakfast (at noon) my words failed me, and a childlike, weeeeeh left my vocal chords instead. The congestion in my nose gave me a heavy head, and I found myself unable to think properly, leading to several weird noises (combined with words) being my only form of communication during the day.
My eyes sleepily drifted to Hiro's, and I glared as I saw him sucking his lips into his mouth, as though he had eaten a lemon as he pressed a hand to his mouth. He was trying not to laugh at me. I knew it.
I already felt absolutely mortified at the fact that I was now bedridden with a blistering fever which had me feeling albeit delirious most times, and my dizziness was only increased tenfold with the new wave of heat that my embarrassment was rolling over me. I wanted to complain, to tell them both to leave my room. I was exposed, vulnerable and presented in a way that I used to think would never be possible.
I very much so wanted to die.
However, Hiro must have caught the look on my face when I looked over my blankets, because he placed a hand on my Dad's back and pushed him out of the room, telling him that Baymax would take care of me.
I really wanted to die.
Now, being looked after by Baymax for those next few days was certainly an...experience...
He immediately got my Dad to run to a pharmacy and pick up some vitamin supplements as well as the strongest sleeping pills he could find.
Good god, the pills.
I couldn't communicate much the first night I took the pills, I was an embarrassing mess of slurs and sleepy murmurs. They would have me knocked out in a death-like sleep by 10 pm, and O would wake up, extremely woozy, at 7 am the next morning. The fatigue from the pills also took a while to wear off at first, which meant that I was stuck, all the more vulnerable, and a little bit lightheaded until midday where I could finally feel my sense of thought returning. I was quite surprised that Baymax managed to understand my sleepy murmurs during those hours considering I didn't have Rem at home with me after I returned either.
Hiro had visited me again on Sunday morning, asking if he could keep Rem with him for a couple of days, as a personal assistant in other words, until I was fit to take care of myself again without Baymax needing to help me.
I ended up agreeing, to a fraction. It turned out he asked me whilst my sleeping medicine was still wearing off, and he had to pry Rem out of my arms whilst I drunkenly cried, bawling with a hoarse threat if he ever put so much as a scratch on Rem's perfectly polished body, he wouldn't live to see the next week.
I was very sure he couldn't take my threat seriously.
It took a lot of getting used to, around Baymax. Not just in the concept of accepting being taken care of, but...just getting used to Baymax in general.
"On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate your pain?"
I answered him with a glare that first day, bedsheets pulled up to my chin and a damp cloth set on my forehead to lessen the fever which had me in a chokehold, insistent on keeping me there until I died.
"Physically, or emotionally?"
I muttered darkly, ever since I was transfered from the mansion, back to my own room, there was always one person (or robot) standing as surveillance thanks to my Father's complete freak out once he saw me awake and attempting to stand up.
(All my attempts ended up failing, I was much too weak to walk by myself)
"My previous knowledge of that answer tells me, you are being, sarcastic."
"Oh joy, Hamada taught you about sarcasm."
Now, Marylin's cooking was amazing, and my Dad did cook me dinner and breakfast foods which were easy enough for me to eat. However, my problem wasn't exactly with the food, but more so to do with the fact that...
Baymax insisted on feeding me, and would not take no as an answer.
"Here comes, the airplane. Aaaah."
"I am not a-"
Baymax shoved the spoon into my mouth as I spoke, sitting up with my arms crossed every time he fed me my meals.
"-child..."
I mumbled weakly with a sigh.
I understood that I needed some help since I was feverish, but holy shit I didn't need everything being done for me like I was some toddler or a senior in a care home. I mean, this robot even insisted on helping me take a bath!
(I mean, technically I was too weak to walk myself to the bathroom without collapsing from fatigue, but still!)
"Turn around, don't look at me, or else."
I threatened in a low voice as I hid myself in the bathtub, Baymax just tilted his head, holding the shower head which was aimed at me and cooling me off with water which I was grateful for considering my skin felt as though it was being drowned in lava constantly.
"Why?"
"Because I'm a girl, naked, and you are a male."
"I am, Baymax, a health care companion, it is my job to help you."
"Can you close your eyes and help me?"
"If I close my eyes, I cannot see you, and then, cannot help you."
I sunk into the water with a groan, submerging myself into the water as Baymax leaned over.
"Staying underwater for excessive amounts of time is, dangerous-"
It took a long time to get used to having him around, but, by the time Tuesday rolled around and I had recovered a majority of my strength back, I came to appreciate his efforts in helping me. Even if he was programmed to help anyways.
Having the robot around meant that I got the opportunity to witness Baymax in his low battery state. I couldn't wrap my head around how he would act like a drunk. However it was a very funny event to witness, especially when he would lose his footing so often when trying to climb into his charging port.
Baymax was made of vinyl, so he was very soft, and very squishy, and since he had a heat setting too I would sometimes find myself snuggling his arms if I got the chills during the night. He was also very literal in many terms, and I was on the receiving end of much of his affections. This included being cradled like a baby after he had given me my insomnia medications, and playing a sleep meditation audio to help me fall asleep quicker. As much as it used to aggravate me at first, it wasn't...too bad.
Even during bathtimes, I grew used to Baymax hanging around, surprisingly, and he would usually just stand there with a screen on his stomach displaying an article for me to read as I laid back in the bathtub. Sometimes, he'd make me engage in some small talk and little therapy sessions since I would end up crying in the bathtub rather than into more tissues.
He was slow, and understanding, not really. He was slow, and informative, and a good listener. Whilst Baymax couldn't empathise a lot as a robot, he prioritised making me feel better, and as I grew accustomed to him being around, it also gave me time to reflect on my attitude and personality towards people.
He asked me about my Mom that Monday evening.
"We can start off, gently. Tell me about your, Mother."
I tool a deep breath when he asked me the first question, and whilst I was searching for my voice it made me wonder. Why was I so nervous about telling him anything about my Mom? Why was I feeling so wrong talking about someone who had passed away two years ago? Why was I so hesitant? Could I really not share the littlest of information? What mental blocks were holding me back?
Too many questions, too many answers, too many answers which I had to keep locked away for the greater good of my secret identity and everyone's safety.
Being Glitch wasn't stressful, hiding Glitch on the other hand. Proved to be a much more emotionally taxing job that what I had credited it to be now that my emotions had broken through like a burst pipe.
I took a deep breath, once I caught my bearings, glad my tears could mingle with the water as I wrapped my arms around myself and looked up to Baymax. I wasn't upset with talking about my mother, I don't think I was at least. I cried all my tears about her to Hiro those nights ago. This time, I think that it was guilt which made me cry.
I valued trust, but the fact that I had to hide away something so big from the friends who seemed to trust me with their world. I don't think I deserved to belong with them, not with my history. I am a hypocrite. I think I am at least. Truth be told I don't know who I am at this point, even when I felt so sure of who I was.
It felt like I was inhabiting a strangers body.
"My mother's name, was Iris Suni..."
I shared tidbits of information that day, in the bathroom. Like her favourite colour was, and what her job was.
I trailed off after that, and refused to say anymore, pulling the plug from the bathtub and moving the conversation along to indicate that I was done talking about her for the day. It helped talking to Baymax, even though the conversation definitely went nowhere deep enough. I refused to allow it to go deeper, not because I didn't want to tell Baymax about what really has me upset, but more because...of Hiro.
Hiro, searched for me, that night. He found me, consoled me, worried about me in a way I had never experienced before. My memory was hazy in regards to remembering everything that happened that night, but I could clearly remember the way his heart was beating against my ear, and the way his body wrapped around mine to keep us both warm after we had got soaked to the bone.
I didn't want to go into detail with Baymax...I wanted to talk to...Hiro.
I wanted to talk to Hiro.
God it felt weird coming to that realisation in my mind.
The first time I had openly said that to Baymax, he was quick to try and call him. Which resulted in me shredding my strained vocal chords as I shrieked at him to switch the call off since I was in the bath, and there was no way in hell that it would be appropriate for me to talk to him, even if it was just an audio call, whilst I was stark naked. I shudder violently just thinking about it.
Now, here I was in my bed again whilst Baymax was doing me a huge favour by entertaining my siblings before putting them to bed.
Ah, Isla and Sorei.
When they saw me being escorted home, delirious with fever, it was safe to say they both started freaking out. Baymax wouldn't let them get too close to me with the risk that the sea held a pathogen which was the reason I was so sick, and that they might contract whatever I have. They complied reluctently, and frequently slipped papers under my bedroom door with drawings on them.
I keep every drawing either of them make me, no matter how bad or embarrassing it is.
Since Rem wasn't around for the meantime as well, Baymax' company was very much approved of by the two. Sorei loved being held by Baymax and often fell asleep on his leg or stomach, whilst Isla just loved using the poor bot as a trampoline.
(I asked Baymax for a neurological examination for Isla, as suspected, it turns out she has ADHD.)
I was down for the count, but the kids were happy, Dad was content with leaving me in Baymax' care whilst he went to work, and Rem would call through Baymax so that he could talk to the younger ones as well as myself. Things were working well, so I tried not to worry.
(It didn't work out too well, my mind kept reminding me that I had work to do, and that Y/n the stone-cold, friendless workaholic was no more.)
I was on my side, in bed, staring blankly at the logo on the private and personalised website I had made for Glitch, since it seemed safer than using Reddit. I stared hard at my profile, and the blank bio box above my posts, fingers wavering over the Add post button as I closed my eyes.
Baymax wouldn't let me go anywhere near my computers until I had fully recovered, which was a problem considering I had work to do as a student, staff and as an online investigator. However, I don't think I was going to be able to be online as Glitch for a while until I had recovered...fully. I needed a break, I know I did, overloading myself with so many responsibilities in order to prevent myself from thinking about how much I missed my mom just made the pain feel even worse. I needed to...relax...something I had absolutely no idea how to do, and something that everyone seemed to be very excited in helping me with as my phone became spammed with text messages every day.
Hiro and I ended up changing each others contact names on our phones now that we were friends now, and I definitely appreciated his name change from being known as 'Little Miss Bitch'. He had stammered apology after apology when I saw the name over his shoulder when he changed it. Though I couldn't exactly be mad when his old contact name on my device was a couple of...bad words. Luckily for myself though, Hiro cannot read Korean, and I could do nothing but hope that he never asks Gogo what the words may have meant.
We hadn't seen each other since the day he decided to borrow Rem. All of our conversations had been over text so far, which was surprisingly easier than I thought it would be. It was definitely a lot less difficult to communicate over texts than having to explain things face to face (I was a nervous text-er though, so I always waited till Hiro started the convo). I could text from the comfort of my blankets and hot water bottles, curling up on my side. The best thing I discovered about texting too, though, was that you could start a conversation talking about anything.
He would send me memes, pictures he took during class, and random pictures of Rem, which I greatly appreciated. He seemed to be having a wonderful time staying with Hiro. I have dozens of pictures of Rem fighting Hiro's megabot, helping Cass with orders, balancing a book on his head, heck, even playing video games with Hiro. Though personally, my favourite picture was Rem sitting on Mochi's back, his little digital eyes were in the shape of red hearts in that picture, and in the background, reflected in the mirror...
Was Hiro in a pair of superman pyjamas.
If I wasn't so congested I would have snorted.
Jokes aside, it was...pleasant. As much as I resented the idea of having friends thanks to the bad experiences of my childhood, and as hard as it was trying to adapt to a completely new world of friendship, I...liked the company.
It terrified me, slightly.
I didn't realise how much I would enjoy having friendships with people, until I woke up every morning to see my phone absolutely buzzing with good morning messages from a group chat I had been added to. Instead of being albeit plain, my room was now overflowing with bouquets of flowers and get well soon cards, best friend cards, a drawing of a kaiju from Fred, cookies from Honey. Even Cass joined in and bought a pretty, lavender scented candle.
(I went into shock seeing all the gifts when I woke up at 10, on Monday.)
It was all so very foreign, and I was still getting used to everything that made Hiro's little group, friends, but the changes weren't unwelcome, even though I was very hesitant with talking to everyone for now.
God, fourteen year old me would be tearing her hair out if she saw me now. I couldn't tell whether this newfound sense of happiness was my fight or flight kicking into play, or something else. I hadn't quite felt so light since the last time I was out with my mother. It felt as though my heart was transfigured into an embodiment of the sun, warm rays daring to burst right out of my chest and engulf me entirely as I became absorbed into an entirely new world, with entirely new feelings I don't think I had felt on a level so big. A happiness, unlike what I felt being around my family, spreading from the roots of my hair to the tips of my toes, gentle tingles of static and adrenaline pumping through my veins when I heard the chiming of my notifications.
I ended up spending a lot of time on my phone since being bedridden. Which was very rare considering I only used my phone an average of two hours a day, most of it used for calling or messaging my father, or playing a game for around 20 minutes. Now, I was on it for a lot longer, especially when I knew Hiro had finished his lessons for the day. We ended up talking a lot, about his day since I didn't want to tell him anything personal over text. It felt more appropriate to have those conversations in person when I felt better, and he agreed with me as well, but we still got to know a lot more about one another as time went along those next four days.
Hiro likes the colour red, which didn't come to me as a surprise when I saw the colour of his moped, the woven bracelet on his wrist, the colour of his undershirt 90% of the time was a shade of red. He also likes the colour black and purple though, which I had to admit were a pallete that seemed to look pretty decent on him. Oh, and he has an
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