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      » [bed chem by sabrina carpenter ] «
0:58 ─〇───── 2:62
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august 21st, 2022

harry!

I miss you
I'm sorry
Can we talk

when

Tonight?
We can go for a walk or something

Ok

she stared at the screen, a knot forming in her stomach. this was what she wanted, wasn't it? a chance to fix things, to make sense of the tangled mess between them. but now that it was happening, she felt paralyzed by the weight of it all.

the air was crisp as she waited outside her flat, hands shoved deep into her coat pockets. harry arrived a few minutes later, his familiar frame illuminated by the glow of the streetlights. he looked nervous, his hands fidgeting at his sides as he approached her.

"hi," he said softly, his voice tentative.

"hi," millie replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

they fell into step together, the silence between them heavy but not unbearable. it wasn't until they reached the park that harry finally broke it.

"i don't even know where to start," he admitted, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets.

"same," millie said, her voice quiet. "i'm sorry. for ignoring you. for everything."

harry stopped walking, turning to face her. "millie, you don't have to keep apologizing. i get it, okay? i know you've been going through a lot, and i should've been more patient. i didn't know what to do."

"you didn't do anything wrong," she said quickly, her eyes darting to the ground. "it's me. i've been so caught up in my own head, that i didn't know how to let you in. and that's not fair to you."

he stepped closer, his expression softening. "it's not about fair, mills. i hate seeing you like this. and i hate that i didn't know how to help."

her throat tightened, and she blinked back the sting of tears. "you do help," she said, her voice cracking. "just by being there. but that's the problem. i'm scared of needing you too much. i'm scared of what happens if i lose you too."

harry's brow furrowed, and he reached out to gently cup her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek. "you're not going to lose me," he said firmly. "i'm here, millie. i'm not going anywhere."

she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch. "i don't know how to let someone in without falling apart anymore."

"you don't have to figure it out all at once," he said gently. "we'll take it one step at a time. no pressure, no expectations. just let me be there for you."

millie opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. there was so much sincerity in his expression, so much patience, that it made her chest ache. "i don't deserve you," she said, with a small laugh.

harry shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. "don't say that. you deserve the world, mills. and if you let me, i'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

her breath hitched, and for a moment, all she could do was stare at him, overwhelmed by the weight of his words. "harry."

"you don't have to say anything," he said quickly, his hand dropping to his side. "i just... i needed you to know how i feel. but if you're not ready, that's okay. i'll wait."

millie shook her head, a tear slipping down her cheek. "it's not that i don't feel the same," she said, her voice trembling. "i do. i just... i'm scared."

"i know," he said softly. "but you don't have to be scared alone."

they stood there in silence for a moment, the weight of their conversation settling between them. then, harry smiled, a small, lopsided grin that made her heart ache in the best way. "come on," he said, gesturing toward the nearby tesco. "let's get you something to eat before you start crying again."

millie laughed, the sound shaky but genuine, and they walked toward the store together.

outside tesco, the glow of the fluorescent lights cast a strange kind of intimacy over the moment. millie paused, looking up at harry as he held the door open for her.

"thank you," she said softly, her voice carrying more weight than the words themselves.

he looked at her, his expression unreadable for a moment, and then he smiled. "for what?"

"for being you," she said, her cheeks flushing.

harry's grin softened into something warmer, and he stepped closer, his hand brushing against hers. "you're a soppy twat," he smiled, but there was no malice in his tone.

"shut up," she said, rolling her eyes, but her smile betrayed her.

and then, before she could overthink it, she rose onto her tiptoes and kissed him. it was soft and tentative at first, but when he kissed her back, it was like everything else melted away.

when they finally pulled apart, harry was grinning like an idiot. "outside tesco? really? you couldn't have picked somewhere more romantic?"

millie laughed, her cheeks burning. "shut up. it felt right."

"yeah," he said, his voice softer now. "it did."

౨ৎ

as they walked into tesco, the air felt lighter, the tension between them easing. millie felt a sense of relief she hadn't realized she'd been carrying, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. the quiet comfort of harry's presence felt like a balm for the ache in her chest. she still had a lot of healing to do, but for the first time in a while, she felt like she wasn't doing it alone.

they walked side by side, the sound of their footsteps in sync with the gentle hum of the city around them. the night was cool, but not cold enough to make them uncomfortable. harry's presence beside her was grounding, and millie couldn't help but steal glances at him every so often. she couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this at ease with him, or with anyone, really.

"can we go home?" she asked softly, her voice almost shy, the vulnerability in her tone making her heart race.

harry looked at her, a playful glint in his eyes. "home, huh? i thought we were just getting food?"

"yeah, well," she said, a small smile tugging at her lips, "i don't think i can handle any more emotions for one night."

he chuckled, the sound warm and familiar, a sound that made her feel like everything was going to be okay. "fair enough. let's go home, then."

they continued walking, the quiet between them comfortable in a way millie hadn't expected. she wasn't sure what to say, but the silence didn't feel heavy anymore. it felt like a kind of understanding, a space where they didn't need words to communicate. it was enough to just be with him.

when they reached her flat, millie stopped in front of the door, her heart beating faster now, like she was on the edge of something important. she turned to face him, suddenly aware of how close they were. the warmth of his body, the steady rhythm of his breathing, it all felt so right. the kiss they'd shared outside tesco was still lingering in her mind, and for a moment, she couldn't help but wonder if everything was really going to be okay.

"i'm really glad you texted me," she said, her voice soft but steady, the words feeling heavier than she expected. it wasn't just about the walk or the conversation—it was about everything, about how much she'd missed him, how much she still needed him.

harry smiled, his thumb brushing the back of her hand. "me too. i've missed you, millie. i don't think i'll ever stop missing you."

millie felt her heart skip a beat at his words, the sincerity in his voice making her chest tighten. she opened her mouth to respond, but the words didn't come. instead, she found herself looking up at him, her eyes searching his face for something she couldn't quite name. there was a tenderness in his gaze, a quiet kind of affection that made her feel seen in a way she hadn't felt in a long time.

"i know i've been distant," she said. "and i'm sorry for that. i didn't mean to shut you out. i just... i didn't know how to let you in. but i want to. i want to let you in, harry. i just don't know how to do it without falling apart."

he stepped closer, his hand reaching for hers, his fingers gently curling around hers as if to offer a kind of reassurance. "you don't have to have it all figured out, millie. i'm not asking for perfection. i'm just asking for you. all of you. the good, the bad, the messy parts. i'm here for it all."

her breath caught in her throat at his words, and she felt a tear slip down her cheek before she could stop it. she hadn't realized how much she needed to hear that, how much she needed to know that he wasn't going anywhere, that he wasn't expecting her to be perfect.

"you don't know how much that means to me," she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "i've been so scared of needing you too much, of depending on you, because what if you leave? what if i'm too much for you?"

harry's expression softened, and he gently cupped her face, his thumb brushing away the tear that had fallen. "you'll never be too much for me, millie. i promise. i'm not going anywhere. i'm here, and i'm not leaving."

she closed her eyes, leaning into his touch, feeling the warmth of his hand on her cheek. she didn't know how to explain it, but in that moment, she felt like everything was finally falling into place. the fear, the uncertainty, the guilt—everything seemed to melt away in the softness of his touch.

"thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible, but it carried so much weight. "thank you for being here. for not giving up on me."

harry smiled, his lips curving up in a way that made her heart flutter. "there's no giving up on you, mills. i'm not going anywhere. not now, not ever."

the words hung in the air between them, and for a moment, everything was still. the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them standing in the quiet of the night. and as millie looked up at harry, she realized that maybe, just maybe, they were both ready to take the next step.

"i'm scared," she admitted, her voice trembling slightly, "but i'm not as scared as i was before."

"i know," he said softly. "and that's enough. we'll take it one step at a time, millie. no rush, no pressure. just us."

"you plus me is us." she let out a small laugh, feeling a sense of peace settle over her. it wasn't going to be easy, and it wasn't going to be perfect. but for the first time in a long time, she felt like she was ready to try. ready to let him in. ready to heal, together.

they stood there for a moment longer, neither of them speaking, but both of them knowing that something had shifted between them. they didn't have all the answers, but they had each other. and that was enough.

"come on," harry said, breaking the silence with a soft chuckle. "let's go inside. it's freezing out here."

millie laughed, her heart lighter than it had been in weeks. "yeah, okay. let's go inside."

and as they walked into her flat, hand in hand, millie knew that, for the first time in a long time, everything was going to be okay.

AUTHOR NOTES!!
hey y'all.......
im gonna try n update weekly but i HATE proof reading :((((
also i saw gracie in manchester and during the wdwgn brigde someone held up a picture of lexie grey n mark sloan so im rewatching their love story again and im at a few eps past their breakup n mark's ignoring lexie cuz she slept w alex and my heart is 💔💔💔
I love lexie grey and mark sloan but right bow mark sloan is on timeout
Ok bye