mystery of love
part one,

"How much sorrow can I take?
Blackbird on my shoulder
And what difference does it make
When this love is over?"

a peaky blinders story. . .

the war. . .

Mabel remembered the day that the men were sent away to fight in France. It was a torturous day and she never wanted to go through that again - she never wanted them to go through that again.

She remembered the look on little Finn's face as he waved his brother's off at the station, the way that he clung onto Ada's hand.

Mabel remembered the way that she went home and struggled to sleep - afraid that she would never see their boys ever again.

During her years still in Small Heath, Mabel found herself reading letters written by Thomas himself. She would wake every Thursday and rush to see if she had any post. And, most times, she did. All from Thomas Shelby.

And in every single one, he never failed to impress her.

But as time went on, his letters seemed to be filled with pain and upset. In one of them, he spoke of how he wanted to go home and it upset Mabel. She couldn't even imagine what the men fighting would be going through.

War was an awful thing. It killed many and left families grieving the faces they feared they would one day forget. It left wives and children wondering if the husband and father would return. Sisters waiting for their brothers. Mothers waiting for their sons.

Mabel found herself reading poetry when she had nothing to do. She even took up baking - she would make bread and biscuits. All of which Ada and Finn Shelby were incredibly thankful for.

The four years that the war had gone on for were painfully slow for everybody.

Especially the men who had to fight. . .

Tommy's chest was falling and rising rather quickly as he and Mabel lay with each other. Her head was resting on his shoulder, his hands moving up and down her arm. "I don't want you to leave," Her voice was quiet yet full of upset.

Tommy swallowed hard, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "Neither do I."

Mabel blinked harshly when feeling her eyes well up. She sat up and reached behind her neck to unclamp her necklace. He frowned at her with confusion and watched as she leaned forward, placing the necklace around his own neck.

Tommy stared at her, taking in her beauty once more.

"So you don't forget me." She whispered.

"I would never forget you, Mabel." He said, a hand making its way to her face. Mabel's lips turned downward into a sad smile. "I'll be coming home- whether that be in five months or five years." Tommy spoke with seriousness that sent a shiver down her spine.

Mabel looked down when feeling a tear fall down her face. "Come here," Tommy tutted, pulling her into his chest. "Don't cry, Mabel."

He could hear her muffled sobs and it saddened him. "I'll come back to you- if you do one thing." He stroked her hair. She looked up at him. "You just need to wait for me."

She nodded. "I can do that." She croaked.

Tommy pulled her in again and kissed the top of her head. "We need to leave for the station soon." He whispered.

Mabel wanted to stay there forever - she wanted to stay in his arms and never leave his side. That was what Tommy Shelby had done to her. That was how she felt about him.

The evening before would be the last that they would spend together for the next four years. And it would be the evening that the pair cherished whilst they were away from each other, wondering if the hell of the war would ever meet an end.

1918. . .

Mabel Harris found herself wandering through the cobbled streets once more - for the first time in two years. The smoke that invaded the air and the dirt that was buried so deeply into the cracks of the cobbled pavements were something that strangely felt like home.

The sound of her heels brought attention from the factory workers, their eyes following her as she walked through the fog.

Mabel had been one of the lucky ones. . she had escaped to the countryside, residing in the home of her Aunt and Uncle. She had enjoyed her time away - if that was a word you could even use. Most nights she would look up at the sky, wondering if Tommy Shelby was looking up at the same sky.

She liked to tell herself that he was - that he was still alive, that they were all still alive.

Mabel remembered the streets of Small Heath as if she had never left the city - not a thing had changed apart from the presence of the men who had returned from war only a few weeks prior. Some had returned home earlier than others, some had returned home during the war due to injuries.

Her eyes wandered over the home that blended in with the other houses on Watery Lane.

Mabel's knuckles collided with the wooden door and nerves began to fill her. "I'll get it!" An all too familiar voice called out from the other side. Mabel found herself smiling when being met with the face of Finn Shelby. "Mabel!" He gasped.

"Hello, Finny." Mabel chuckled.

He stood, mouth agape at the sight before him.

"Can I come in?" She hummed.

Finn stepped aside hesitantly and she entered the home. It still had that same homely warmth about it. Nothing had changed, it was all how she remembered it. "Who's home, Finn?"

"Well, Aunt Pol is at church. . Ada is out someplace and the rest are at the Garrison." He shrugged as if it were the normal routine.

Mabel furrowed her eyebrows and hung up her coat to reveal a rather pretty dress that was hiding beneath the fabric. "Do you have any idea when your brothers will be home?"

"Aunt Pol told Tommy that he needed to lock up the shop tonight- said she'd still be out." Finn paced around the home curiously, digging into the pockets of the coats that decorated the hooks on the walls. She watched as he snuck a cigarette from one of the men's coats and shoved it into his pocket.

Finn turned to her and winked. Well, it was a poor attempt - it was more like a blink.

"I suppose i'll have to wait here then, hm?" Mabel offered. His eyes lit up. "Will you play cards with me?" He asked. She nodded and he suddenly sprinted into the betting den which wasn't too busy before returning with a stack of playing cards. "Can we play snap?"

"We can play whatever you wish to." Mabel said softly.

That afternoon, Mabel found herself agreeing to almost everything Finn asked her to do. She played cards with him, made him tea, let him show her his collection of books. It was all lovely, really. She had missed him.

Her eyes had been glued to the clock ever since Finn dismissed himself to go upstairs. She wanted nothing more than to see Thomas Shelby's face again.

The sound of the door closing made her jump. She could hear the heavy footsteps in the other room, followed by the screech of a chair against the old floor. She hesitantly stood, smoothing her skirt and approaching the tall doors that separated the two rooms.

Her hands pressed against the handles for a brief moment and she took a deep breath.

When opening them up, she was pleased to see the face she had been longing for. He was yet to look up, assuming it was Ada or Polly. He had his elbows resting against the table and his hand against his forehead.

"I think you have something of mine," She finally spoke, her eyes landing on the golden chain that sat around his neck.

His eyes widened ever so slightly and he lifted his head. "Mabel. ." He breathed, a look of disbelief across his features. She offered him a gentle smile, her hands clasped before her. "When did you get here?"

She began to walk toward him, desperate to hold him. "This afternoon. . I was supposed to arrive last night but my train was delayed." She explained gently. Tommy stood when she reached him and the pair just stared at each other.

She looked just as pretty as he remembered her to be - if not more.

And Tommy - well, Tommy looked tired. He looked like a man who had seen the devil himself.
But even still, he was the most beautiful thing to Mabel.

He swallowed hard and his hands made their way to her face, cupping her cheeks.

There was something so relieving to feel his rough hands against her soft skin once more. It had been four years. Four years apart - alone.

"Hello, Thomas." Mabel breathed, placing her hand over his, "i've missed you." Her voice was just as genuine as it used to be - soft and sweet.
Tommy explored her eyes carefully before placing a long yet delicate kiss on her lips.

She began to smile, a relief washing over her.

"When Polly told me you'd ran off to the countryside, I thought you wouldn't come back," He breathed, his forehead against hers. "I didn't really run off. . just went someplace else." She put a hand on his chest. "And i'd always come back, you know that."

"You always said you wanted to get out of this place."

"With you, yes."

Thomas and Mabel lay quietly in his old home, the room completely silent apart from the sound of their hearts beating. Tommy had his arms around her, his fingers tangling with the ends of her hair.

"What was it like?" Mabel questioned cautiously.

He tensed ever so slightly. "It was like one big nightmare."

She tilted her head up to look at him. "You still have it- my necklace." said Mabel. Tommy looked down at the piece of jewellery and lifted it with his two fingers. "I promised you, Mabel. That i'd look after it." He mumbled, "and I didn't forget you."

"I waited for you- just like you asked."

He brushed her hair away from her face and said no more. Being back with her was one thing he had wished for most - other than returning home. The way her eyes glistened in the light provided by the old oil lamp took him back to the more simpler days - when they were young and didn't have to worry about anything but each other.

Mabel could tell the war had changed him. It had changed every man. At first, she believed that Tommy wouldn't change. No, not her Tommy. And he hadn't changed much but she could tell just by looking in his eyes that he had faced pure horror - he was a broken man, a shell of what he once was.

And that made her feel like she needed to look after him. Like it was her turn now to look after him.

And Mabel Harris wasn't one to give up. . .

season one

- where Mabel Harris is searching
for her old love in the eyes of somebody
who feels like a stranger.

or

- where Tommy Shelby loses
Mabel Harris.

• gracessecretshelby

- this chapter and the last are
slightly messy, i know, but the rest of the
chapters will not be set out the same way.
- there will be slow updates