Nellie was walking down the hall with Matteo as they were on their way to glee club.

"God that party was almost a week ago and I still have a headache." Nellie mumbled as she held her head to her forehead. Matteo kissed her forehead and sighed.

"Maybe it's because you've been stressing about your math homework." Matteo replied as he shrugged his shoulders. Nellie sighed as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"That math homework was no joke. I broke down crying three times."

"Oh my god Brittanys pregnant." Tina exclaimed walking past nellie and Matteo.

"Holy crap Brittanys pregnant?" Matteo asked as they also walked past Lauren and Puck.

"It was only a matter of time." Puck mentioned.

The glee club sat in the choir room and Artie looked like he had seen a ghost.

"All right, folks. Regionals is in a week. It's time to get deep into our set list. Artie? You ok?" Everyone shifted their attention to Artie.

"Dude, what's the matter?" Jay questioned.

"My life is over. How am I supposed to support a baby? How could you not tell me about this?" Artie asked turning towards Brittany. Nellie still couldn't believe Brittany was pregnant. How could that have happened?

Could that even happen?

"Wait, Brittany are you pregnant?" Mr.Shue questioned.

"No, Artie just so happens to be talking about some random baby." Matteo snapped with a roll of his eyes.

"Definitely. I'm so sorry, Artie. I didn't want to upset you. I thought I could surprise you when I dropped him off. I'm pretty sure it's a boy." Nellie furrowed her brows. Drop him off??? Pretty sure it's a boy?

"Brit, how far along are you? How do you know the gender?" Nellie questioned.

"Um, babies don't get dropped off." Puck said.

"Wait Brittany have you been to a doctor yet? That's the only way to be sure."

"I don't need to go to a doctor. I just need to look outside my window. Three days ago a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I'm not stupid it's obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from." Nellies jaw dropped and she looked mortified at what Brittany was saying.

"What the hell?" Matteo mumbled.

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The next day Mr.Shue was writing the word sexy on the white board, which was sort of concerning to Nellie.

"Sexy." Mr.Shue said.

"For one I really hope that's not one of the requirements for regionals because if Rachel shows up in those tights we might as well sign away any hopes of winning this year." Nellie ranted. Rachel glared daggers at Nellie. She still never forgave her for cheating on Finn with her own brother.

"No this isn't about regionals. Im less worried about that right now and more worried about the fact that it's became clear to me that some of you have been lacking when it comes to understanding the uh..... the intricacies of adult relationships."

"Mr.Shue, we're not toddlers. Just say sex." Nellie said.

"Anyways uh, along with preparing for our regional next week, I want to spend the week educating ourselves about some of these....intricacies."

"Is this the appropriate forum for that?" Rachel asked.

"Look whenever we had Uh, issues in the past that are on our minds or giving us problems, it's always helped us to sing about it. So this week I have invited a special guest. Miss Holliday!"

"Yes! Oh my god thank you!" Matteo said looking up at the sky for the thank you part. Matteo say Miss Holiday as the mom he never had.

"Hola clase. Okay. So sex......it's just like hugging, only wetter."

"Yeah it is." Artie commented.

"Okay, let's start with the basics. Finn. Is it true that you thought you got your girlfriend pregnant via hot tub?" Nellie snorted. That was one of the dumbest things Finn has ever believed. The grilled Cheesus was a strong second.

"I have always been dubious."

"And Brittany? You think that storks bring babies?"

"I get my information from Woody Woodpecker cartoons." Brittany replied.

"Yeah, I'm going to have to start monitoring what you watch."  Nellie said patting Brittanys back.

"Well that's all gonna end right here right now. Because today, we are gonna get under the covers all together on the ditty on the dirty?"

"I'm so turned on right now." Puck mentioned.

"Uh, what about those who chose to remain celibate?"

"Oh well, I admire you. Although I think you're naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice."

"I do think this is a good time for a song." Mr.Shue always had to ruin the fun. But then again Nellie could never turn down a song.

"Oh yes, ok. Rule number one. Every intimate encounter you're going to have in your life is going to start with a touch. Hit it!"

[Do You Want To Touch Me?-Holly Holliday Plus The New Directions]

"So, just remember when you're having sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with. And everybody's had a random." Nellie turned towards Matteo who was looking away from her.

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Nellie and Matteo were making out in her room. Her shirt was off and so was his as Matteo was starting to slip off her pants.

Flashback:

"When you're having sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with."

"Wait. Stop." Nellie mumbled pushing Matteo off her and sitting up.

"You ok? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, it's just what Miss Holliday said at glee club was really bugging me. She said when you have sex with someone you're pretty much having sex with someone you've ever had sex with. I know we had sex already, I just wanna know if a girl had her her hands on her body before me."

"You mean if I've ever had sex with another girl before you?" Nellie nodded.

"Nel, before I got sober and I moved here I was a completely different person. I had sex with every girl in my path." Nellie scoffed and looked away.

"Wait. You're mad at me?"

"Why didn't you mention the fact you had sex with other girls?"

"I didn't think it mattered Nellie!"

"It didn't matter?! When we did it I thought we were both virgins. The least you could've done is say you weren't a virgin."

"Well I'm sorry alright? But don't shout at me because I made a little mistake! Nel, half the time I was high having sex with girls. You're the one girl I've done it with when I was sober."

"I-I'm sorry ok. It's just......I wanted to be your first." Matteo sighed and pulled Nellie onto his chest.

"Mi amor, in my eyes you are my first. When I had sex with you, it was like I never had sex with any other girl. Just you."

"I just felt insecure I wasn't as good as all the other girls."

"What? Oh please. This one girl I had sex with—" Matteo paused when he saw Nellies glare.

"The point is, you have no reason to feel insecure, ok?" Matteo lifted Nellies chin so she was looking into his eyes. "I know. I love you Matteo."

"I love you more. Now where were we?" Nellie giggled when Matteo picked her up and dropped her on the bed again, starting to make out with her again.

"Wait. We aren't going to tell Puck I lost my virginity right?" Nellie asked pulling away from the kiss.

"I'm pretty sure if he found out I wouldn't be breathing right now." Nellie shrugged in agreement before kissing Matteo yet again.

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The next day Nellies insecurity's washed away as she felt much better about the situation she used to have. Now, she felt better knowing Matteo saw her as her first. Looking back at the situation Nellie felt like a complete idiot. Matteo was a completely different person compared to now.

First off he was sober, which meant he no longer did drugs or anything. Matteo told her how rehab was the best thing that ever happened to him because he got to be away from his parents for a year and he got the help he needed.

So Nellie closed her locker as she pulled on her sweater (image above) seeing how it was getting cold in the building.

"A kiss for mi amor." Matteo pecked her lips once she had walked inside the choir room. Jay gagged and Matteo turned over to him.

"You guys are the most nauseating cheesy couple I have ever met." Jay commented.

"Oh please. Says the one who's making love eyes to Mercedes. I even caught you trying to hold her hand earlier." Nellie mentioned.

"I have no clue what you're talking about." Jay shrugged.

"Oh really? I'm pretty sure you guys were walking down the hall and I saw your hand go to hers."

"Well the jokes on you because we've held hands on numerous occasions!" Jay hissed.

"Aw." Matteo fake pouted making Jay throw his head back and groan.

Santana, Brittany, and Miss Holiday sat in the front of the choir room as they were getting ready to sing their song of the week.

[Landslide-Holly Holliday, Santana Lopez, and Brittany Pierce]

Throughout the song Nellie noticed Brittany and Santana stealing glances at each other. She didn't think anything of it, until she noticed Santana was wiping away tears coming out of her eyes.

"Pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends right? I wish you and I were that close." Sam whispered to Artie.

"Can I just applaud this trio for exploring the uncharted world of Sapphic charm? Brava, Brava." Rachel commented.

"My god." Jay mumbled under his breath as he ran a hand through his dark brown hair.

"Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany, doesn't mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?" Rachel's smile faded and Santana walked back to her seat wiping the tears that were still coming out of her eyes. Brittany looked hurt by Santanas words as she stood in the middle of the room.

Nellie took it upon herself to get up and escort Brittany back to her seat.

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The glee club sat in the auditorium as the Celibacy Club was going to preform their song for the week. Puck had tried to convince her to come back to Celibacy Club but Nellie declined saying she was never going back to that place, ever since that whole balloon incident.

Pictures of pies and other treats were displayed in the background and Nellie really had no clue what was going on.

[Afternoon Delight-Emma Pillsbury, Carl Howell, Noah Puckerman, Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray]

Nellie bit her lip trying to hold in her laugh and Matteo had to look away because if he didn't he was going to burst out into laughter. At the end of the song the only one who really applauded was Brittany who gave a standing ovation. Nellie hesitated, before starting to clap for her friends.

"Hi. Um, Holly here. So I'm a little confused. Isn't this a strange song for the-the Celibacy Club to sing?"

"But why? It's so wholesome. It was written during the Bicentennial to celebrate America and fireworks......"

"No, it's about sneaking out for a nooner." Nellie snickered and when Mr.Shue glared at her she cleared her throat to make it seem like she did nothing wrong.

"Yes. Exactly! A nooners when you have desert in the middle of the day right? Right Carl?"

"Well regardless, it was a great job, guys. Great number. Hey glee club, let's go."

"Gladly." Nellie mumbled as she stood up and started to make way for the exit.

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So Nellie and Matteo were forced to join the celibacy club. Jay tried to get Mercedes to join, until Mercedes had to explain to him what the celibacy club really was. So Matteo and Nellie sat across from Puck who was glaring daggers at Matteo. Honestly Nellie wasn't here for celibacy. She was there to have Santanas back, who had been sort of in a mood lately.

"Ok, I hereby call the Celibacy Club to order."

"Where's Ms.Pillsbury?" Puck questioned.

"She decided to take the hour she was spending here to use it to fix her sham of a marriage. In the interim, I'll be taking over."

"Because you love to take over everything?" Nellie asked raising a brow.

"Because I realized that while all of us making our celibacy pledge is wonderful, on day we're gonna fall in love with someone, and we're gonna choose to be intimate with them."

"Speaking of being intimate, what's with the hickey Quinn?" All eyes were now on Quinn who in fact did have a hickey on her.

"It's not a hickey."

"Oh, I know hickeys. I'm a freakin' connoisseur. I can make them into shapes like balloon animals." Nellie gave her brother a disgusted look before turning back towards Quinn.

"I burnt myself this morning with a curling iron."

"That's what they all say." Nellie snarked as a grin found her lips.

"The key is to use the curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from getting burnt." Brittany said.

"No." Matteo replied.

Nellie knew Detective Puckerman was going to have to come out soon to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Word count:2,240