╰ ┈ " 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 "✎▫✧⭒...

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Sun rays peeked through the young woman's blinds as she lay dormant in bed. Beside her was her phone which played music from her favorite playlist. The room was mostly quiet, aside from the songs that came and left every few minutes. (Y/n) continued to stare at her blank ceiling with her mind churning and grinding its gears. There were many thoughts running through her head. A part of her wanted to get up, but her body refused to move at all.

It was like something was keeping her there. Her blanket held her down in a warm embrace, but she wanted to get up.

It might have been more than just her blanket holding her down today.

The thought of opening another letter from Jones made her want to stay in bed longer. Opening a new letter signified the start of the day. She could skip opening a letter today to help herself, but she remembers doing that before.

It happened a few days ago before she hung out with her mother. Strong feelings wouldn't rise up until halfway through the day. Guilt ate her up that day, all because she never opened a letter from Jones that day.

She felt guilty because her mind thought that she was abandoning Jones. She had already told herself that she would be there for Jones, and yet she didn't even say good morning to him that day.

The woman wasn't aware of how bad her attachment is. She had an idea but didn't think it was severe to the point where she felt tied to him. The letters seemed more like a burden to her rather than light reading.

But did she want to move on from Jones? No. Not when she felt as if she had some duty to uphold to the soldier.

who is most likely already dead.

She lingered in her spot longer, until she heard her phone buzz. Her head turned to look at the phone before she moved slowly moved her arm. She answered the call that came through and brought it closer to her mouth.

"Good morning." Her voice was hoarse.

"Vee~ Buongiorno, (Y/n)!" Felicia replied over the phone. "You sound very sleepy? Did you just wake up?" Hearing her friend's voice brought a smile to the young woman's face. Finally, some movement happened.

"I just woke up recently," the woman lied, "I should have woken up earlier than this. Are you coming by right now? I can get out of bed." She would try, anyway.

"No no! I was just calling to let you know when I'll be coming by! It might just be me today. Claire said she doesn't want to go out of the house today since she has a lot of work at home to do and Sorella is busy at work so it'll be just the two of us! Sorry to change our plans!"

"It's okay. I don't mind hanging out with you alone Felicia. Besides, we'll have more time for ourselves, you know?"

(Y/n) could hear the Italian woman squeak through the speaker. A small laugh leaves her lips as she turned her body over. More movement meant good news for (Y/n). She listened to Felicia talk about the plans for today, even if she's already heard these before. With these distractions at play, (Y/n) no longer thought about Jones.

She no longer felt paralyzed.

"I'll see you later, okay?" Her voice was growing louder, although still a bit hoarse. Felicia bid a small goodbye to her friend. (Y/n) put her phone down back on her bed while her music continued to play. Her (e/c) eyes stare up at the ceiling again. She hums as her thoughts continued to roam around in her mind. Each one fought for her attention, but she didn't seem to focus on them right now.

The young woman moved her fingers a little to show see if she was moving or not. When little wiggles turned to wrist flicks, she escalated to move the lower part of her body. (Y/n) propped herself up, her blanket running down her chest. She moved it aside. She slipped in her slippers before walking to her closet to gather clothes. She wanted a cute outfit that fit the season.

Spring, although it was turning to Summer soon.

She continued to the bathroom, where she took a long warm shower. She lost the habit of staying in the shower for a short while. She liked having long, warm showers since it felt like her blanket warming itself around her. It was a comforting feeling, especially since she hadn't been feeling like herself recently. Her water bill could suffer for all she cared.

She needed comfort and that warm embrace.

(Y/n) turned off the water and stepped outside. She gently pats a towel around her before getting dressed. She moved to the mirror to get her face ready. A natural look would look good today. Humming softly, she entered her bedroom again. She subconsciously approached her bed.

The box was underneath the bed at the exact spot she stood.

Her smiling lips faltered to a frown. Her mind started to turn its attention to Jones again and she found it hard to move. She couldn't do anything. Her stomach gnawed at her, biting and twisting and turning until she gave it attention.

She decided to pull out the wooden box and look at the bundle of letters.

There weren't as many as the rest have been opened. The end of these letters was coming close. How many more months of letter opening should she go through now? Three? Three more? She wasn't sure. It was already May.

Would there be a change in his pattern of letters? She wished that there was. She wished that whoever was writing these letters, be it Jones or someone masquerading as a World War 2 soldier, reveal that it was all a prank or that it'll end out well. She wouldn't know what's worse though.

Falling in love with someone's character that wasn't even real in the first place, or someone that had been alive in the past and is now dead.

The latter? No, maybe the former.

(Y/n) picked a letter from the small stack and sat on her bed. She gently ripped open the envelope and plucked out the paper. She hesitated to unfold it, expecting the worse to come from him.

"Please be okay," (Y/n) whimpered. She doesn't know how long her mental health can keep eating up Jones' sorrow and making it her own. She was clearly already dwindling, but she wanted to stay strong for Jones. It was all for him after all.

"What do you have for me today, Jones?" She pretended to be oblivious.

She already knew the answer.

Her eyes scanned the paper in her hand. It didn't have the normal letter format, rather, it looked like a journal scrap that made its way to the envelope. It couldn't be from a journal though, since it was the same size as standard letter paper.

A pitying smile made its way to (Y/n)'s face as she stared at the words. It looks rushed, with words some illegible. Some of the words were crossed out and replaced. There were tear stains on the paper again.

He's rambling.

I was having a good day today, for once, but then all of a sudden Alex puts me in a room with Charles. We sit around for a few minutes and then, all of a sudden, Charles starts talking. Charles says that he shouldn't be in the same room as someone useless and incompetent. I know damn well he was referring to me because of that look he gave me. I know my glasses are broken and I can barely see without them, but I know that look of disdain.

I don't even know what I did to provoke that sort of response?! I was just sitting there! I didn't even look at him!

I know he hates me. I know he blames me for everything. I know he blames me for James' death. I know he blames me for us being here. He doesn't say it outright but I know damn well that it's what he's feeling.

But come on, I didn't even look at him and he still chooses to put me down.

I didn't want to say anything to him. I already know the truth. I already know all the things he hates me for. I hate myself for those things too, I don't need him telling me what he hates about me. I already tell myself the same shit, it wouldn't be any different.

The conflict would have been avoided if I just left the room, I know, but I didn't want to leave. I was doing it for Alex. It looked like he had good intentions, although, I'm not sure if it was like that. He wants me to reconcile with Charles so we could work together again. Alex said so himself, since I didn't say anything to defend myself. It made Charles angrier though.

I wanted to continue the silence, but then, he said something so fucked up. I don't have pride in myself anymore, but I have pride in my relationship. Charles can talk shit about me all he wants but as soon as he talked shit about my girl, everything just seemed like a bottle blowing up. He has no right sullying my girlfriend's name, especially when the bastard has one of his own.

I remember his words vividly.

"You're still thinking about that broad of yours huh? You're always prioritizing her over what's going on over here but does she do the same? No. No, she doesn't. What do you think she's doing now that you're not back at home? She doesn't even send you letters back. For all we know she could be marrying someone else now!"

It makes me want to scratch and tear my head. I want those words out of there but there's a stupid echo and I just don't know what to do anymore.

I don't want to think that she has someone in our bed. I don't want to think that there's another guy in her life. I'm doing so much for her. I don't want to think about that.

No. NO.

He doesn't understand. He can't understand.

How could he? He was never there to see it happen. He was never there to see her. He says I'm selfish for prioritizing her over everyone else. Well of course I would! She's my everything. She's all I have. She's all I'm clinging on to because I clearly can't tell anyone else what the hell is going on with me. He would understand if he cared more about his damn girlfriend.

I hate him. I hate him for it. I hate him.

He doesn't understand. He says I'm crazy over a relationship. I don't give a shit about him anymore.

He can go to fucking hell for what he says.

(Y/n) stared at the letter in her hands. She thought about how a journal scrap could have made its way inside the envelope. Maybe he had confused it for something else? Why would he treat this letter like a journal and proceed to send it back home? It was odd. She can't piece together Jones' thought process for this one.

Maybe the soldier was thinking that if his beloved saw the letter, she would sympathize with him? Well, it was kinda working for her. A part of her sympathized with Jones, but it could just be her way of trying to make him feel better.

Still, she didn't want to think much into it. Her mind didn't want to work too much today, considering that she has to conserve her energy to keep up with Felicia today.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Jones," is all she could say. She wished there were more words.

The woman pressed her lips against the paper and tucked it back into its envelope. She hid it away in her drawer and sighed.

(Y/n) walked around her home and visited her backyard for some fresh air. She needed to pass time and she needed to distract herself. She can't think about the soldier she had to care for. She needs to think about herself.

If she had the capacity to do that anyway.

The woman stood around in her backyard and stared at the lush trees around her. She learned something on the internet that helped with a busy mind. It said to have something else in her brain. It was best to distract herself from the topic she constantly thought about.

She tried thinking about anything else, but her mind drifted off into the faceless soldier. His pain managed to nestle itself in her chest. Her lips pursed into a frown. She sighed and closed her eyes.

She needed to calm down.

For a moment, she tried being still. She erased everything in her mind, from thoughts about today's outing to thoughts about Jones. She worked tirelessly to push everything aside just to have a piece of clarity and peace.

Calm.

Composed.

Happy.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. That must be Felicia.

(Y/n) sighed and pulled out her phone. She wore a smile as she entered her home again to grab her things. She could hear the cheerful Italian ramble in the speaker as she walked to the driveway. There Felicia was, sitting in her bright red sports car.

"Ciao, Bella!" Felicia called over, "Come on! Get in here before I race out of here! They have a sale at the plaza today and I want my hands on the new Prada bags!"

The young woman rolled her (e/c) eyes and got inside the passenger seat. She buckled up and rested her back against the leather seats. She took in a deep breath as she looked around. Nothing much has changed, except for the new smell of flowers. The last time she had been in this car, it smelled like cherries.

At least the smell isn't strong.

"I haven't been in your car in ages, Feli. I forgot how comfortable these chairs are," (Y/n) mumbled. She pulled the lever to recline her seat just a bit.

"I changed the leather a few weeks ago so I don't know how it feels to other passengers. Sorella told me not to change them because they would be too tight or something like that. I don't know what's she's on most of the time!"

Felicia pulled out of (Y/n) driveway and drove off.

The drive to the shopping center was quiet, aside from the radio. It played a variety of tunes, ranging from English, Italian, and Spanish. Felicia had offered (Y/n) the aux cord but the woman refused, saying that she was too embarrassed to put on her own music.

They argued about it for a bit before Felicia let it go. She was happy regardless of whether (Y/n) played her music or not.

Once the women pulled up at the parking lot, Felicia made sure to lock her car and made sure that everything inside was secure and out of place. The woman patted her short skirt and fixed the ruffles of her top. She put her sunglasses up, showing her bright brown eyes to (Y/n).

The woman's (e/c) eyes stared at them and sent a small, tired smile. She felt her friend hook her arm on her own and dragged her outside of the parking lot. (Y/n) assumed that they were headed to the high-end fashion boutiques today, which are things that she couldn't really afford. The items inside were pretty but they were never really something she could get.

The (h/c) haired woman followed the cheerful brunette's steps as they walked around the mall together. Every once in a while, Felicia would look down at her phone and eagerly type something. (Y/n) had to take the lead, which made them wander around.

(Y/n) was almost confused as to why she was letting her lead, especially since she doesn't keep track of where the high-end fashion stores are at. The woman looked at her friend, who still stared at her phone. She saw the curious curl at the end of her hair bounce with every step.

"Hey," the (h/c) woman called out to her, "weren't you in a rush to get to the Prada store or something?"

Felicia looked up from her phone. "Oh!" she squeaked, "Mi dispiace! I was! Sorella just kept texting me about Claire. Says I should get her something in the Prada store while we're there. I guess I ended up daydreaming about what to get her. Why are you asking?"

"Because I've been leading us around and I didn't want to ask where the store is," (Y/n) confessed. "We've been walking for like... 20 minutes anyway, so it's not really a big deal. How long is the sale gonna last?"

"For the entire day," Felicia answered. Their walking pace slowed for a moment. The brunette took in the information and (Y/n) watched as her lips twisted into a smile.

"We can just visit the Prada store last! Or even all of the high-end stores last!" The Italian looked at her friend, "You're okay with that right? We can visit the stores you want to go to first while I think about what to get for Claire! And maybe for sorella too!"

"Are you sure? Isn't it first come first serve for stores like that?" (Y/n) frowned, "We can always just visit your stores first before we can explore the place, that way we could finish shopping for your things. We can just do window shopping afterward."

"Yeah but if we do mine first, we're going to be carrying a lot of bags."

"True." A sigh of defeat leaves the (h/c) haired woman's mouth. "We can do window shopping for now, but you have to tell me where to go afterward."

There was a bright look on the Italian's face. Looks like she was scheming something again, but (Y/n) doesn't know what. Frankly, she doesn't want to know what her friend has up her sleeve this time. The young woman focused her attention elsewhere, letting Felicia cling on to her arm.

(Y/n) had to look at her banking app first to see if she had enough funds inside her bank. She doesn't want to milk herself dry, especially when she has some bills to pay this month. She looked at her numbers and softly smiled.

She had enough to indulge herself today. She put her phone away in her pocket and stared straight ahead. They wandered around the complex together, visiting stores that interested (Y/n).

Felicia would follow her like a puppy. She made comments about everything the woman pulled from the racks and shelves. They were pretty light and some were questions.

Whenever they were near the register, the brunette would pull out her wallet and offer to pay it for her. (Y/n) would always turn her down and pay for her own things. Felicia would buy things for herself too, but they were small things like jewelry and trinkets.

The women agreed to share the burden of carrying the bags. Felicia tried to take most of the work for this too. They had a small disagreement before Felicia let it go. (Y/n) had a small smile to show that she felt happy winning that one.

Felicia and (Y/n) took their lunch break after an hour of shopping. They rested at a restaurant inside the complex that cooked Italian food. It was apparently a place that Felicia frequented whenever she visited this building. The two women gently sipped their drinks and talked amongst themselves, with Felicia leading the conversation. She mostly talked about her family, her relationships, and the paintings she's been doing.

Things were going smoothly for the women, but then Felicia focused the light on her friend.

"How about you? How have you been feeling?" There was concern in her friend's voice. That look in her light brown eyes said everything too. (Y/n) could see out of the corner of her eye that Felicia was reaching her hand toward her friend. Of course, the woman let their hands link to one another as a sign of comfort. She wanted to know that she was doing ok.

Well... mostly okay, anyway.

"I'm okay," (Y/n) lied.

The last thing she wanted was for her friend to get worried about her. She was glad that she didn't have to put too much effort into things since Felicia takes her word for it.

It made (Y/n) feel bad, but she had to.

Felicia's eyes brightened up again and a smile was seen on her face. "I'm glad! That's very good!" The Italian squeezed her friend's hand. "What about relationships? Have you found anyone special yet? Like, come on it's been months! Surely you're seeing someone by now!"

The young woman didn't know what to tell her friend.