𝐘/𝐍'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

The party was already in full swing by the time I arrived.

Madison and Mariah always knew how to throw a good party—not too crowded, not too over-the-top, just a solid mix of people who knew each other well enough to drink, talk shit, and pretend like we weren't all exhausted from work.

Music pulsed low in the background, and the warm glow of string lights stretched across the backyard, illuminating the space with a golden hue.

Laughter rang out from the patio, where Rudy and Chase were arguing over who could shotgun a beer faster. JD and Drew were setting up beer pong. Lili and Carlacia were locked in what looked like a very intense conversation about astrology.

It should've felt normal but it didn't. Because Madelyn was here and she wasn't talking to me.

She wasn't avoiding me, exactly. But she wasn't seeking me out either.She was across the yard, tucked into a conversation with Caleb and Austin, her arms crossed over her chest, her smile easy and light.

But it wasn't the same. It hadn't been the same in a while. And apparently, I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"You two look like a divorced couple co-parenting," JD blurted as he lined up a shot at beer pong, his eyes flicking between me and Madelyn.

Drew smirked beside him, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I mean—before, it was all Madelyn and Y/n, Y/n and Madelyn.Now, it's like..." He made a face, waving his hand vaguely. "Weird." I rolled my eyes, grabbing a drink from the cooler. "We're fine."

Madelyn, who had just walked past behind me, answered at the exact same time. "We're fine," she said quickly. Too quickly.

JD raised a brow. "Uh-huh." Lili, who had been watching the entire exchange, slowly took a sip of her drink, eyes narrowing slightly.

"Mmm. Sure." Her tone was so pointed I almost choked on my beer.

Madelyn shot her a warning look, but Lili just smiled into her cup, clearly unbothered. I pretended to focus on my drink, but I could feel Madelyn's presence behind me, like she was debating saying something. But she didn't.

Instead, she just brushed past, walking toward Caleb and Austin again, like the conversation never happened.

And maybe that was for the best. Because if I had to sit here and pretend like everything was normal one more time, I might actually lose my mind.
. . .

𝐌𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐲𝐧'𝐬 𝐏𝐎𝐕

I needed a break. The party was louder than usual, or maybe I was just too in my head to block it out. The drinks tasted weaker, the conversations dragged on, and every time I laughed at something, it felt like I was forcing it.

Like I was playing a part I wasn't sure I wanted anymore. Because Y/n was here. And I was pretending not to care that we hadn't spoken really all night.

I exhaled sharply, stepping outside onto the patio, letting the cooler air hit my skin. The pool lights cast a soft glow over the backyard, and for the first time tonight, I could breathe.

But, of course, that didn't last long. "Are we good?" I stiffened. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

I knew her voice too well. Knew the way she spoke when she was actually asking something versus when she was just trying to smooth things over.

And this? This was the latter. I turned, crossing my arms. "Yeah." I met her eyes, expression unreadable. "We're friends, right?"

Y/n hesitated. She hated the way that sounded. I could see it. But she nodded anyway. "Yeah. Friends."

I studied her, waiting for her to say more—to actually admit that things weren't fine. But she didn't.

She just stood there, her hands in her pockets, like she expected that to be the end of the conversation. And God, that was so frustrating. Because how could she act so unaffected?

How could she look at me and not see how badly this was breaking me? A bitter laugh almost slipped out, but I swallowed it down.

I turned away before she could see the disappointment creeping into my face. "Madelyn."

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to stay calm. "What, Y/n?" She hesitated. I could feel it. Like she knew this was her moment to actually say something real. To stop pretending. But then she just sighed, shaking her head. "Nothing."

That was it. That was all she had to say. I clenched my jaw, nodding to myself. "Right. Nothing."

I turned, heading back toward the house, because if I stood here any longer, I was going to say something I'd regret. I was tired of being the only one who cared enough to try.

But before I could take another step, I heard a voice behind me.

"Hey." I blinked, turning slightly. Carlacia was standing near the patio doors, watching me closely. Her expression was soft, knowing—like she had been paying attention all night.

"You good?" she asked. And that simple question nearly broke me. I almost said yes.

Almost.

But then I exhaled sharply, running a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Carlacia tilted her head slightly, waiting. I let out a short, humorless laugh. "It's exhausting being mad at someone you don't want to be mad at."

She sighed, nodding in understanding. "Yeah. I get that."

I swallowed, shaking my head. "I just don't understand her sometimes."

Carlacia's lips pressed together, and she glanced toward the house, like she was debating something. Then she looked back at me. "You want to know what I think?"

I huffed. "You're gonna tell me anyway." She grinned slightly. "Damn right." Then her expression softened again.

"I think Y/n has spent so long putting everyone else first that she doesn't know how to let someone put her first."

The words hit me like a brick to the chest. I exhaled, shaking my head. "That's not fair." Carlacia lifted a brow. "Isn't it?" I swallowed, looking away. I wanted to argue. I wanted to say she was wrong. But deep down, I knew she wasn't.

Y/n had built walls around herself so high that sometimes I wondered if even she knew how to let someone in. And maybe that's what frustrated me the most. Because I wasn't asking her to let just anyone in. I was asking her to let me.

Drew appeared beside us then, nudging Carlacia. "You making Madelyn cry out here?" he joked, holding a drink in his hand. I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. "Not crying." Carlacia grinned. "Not yet."

I sighed dramatically. "You two suck." Drew laughed, leaning against the patio railing. "Seriously though. What's going on with you and Y/n? It's weird."

Carlacia nodded. "Even JD noticed. And JD notices nothing unless it involves beer pong or free food."

I shook my head. "Nothing's going on." Drew gave me a flat look. "Madelyn."

I exhaled, shaking my head. "I just... I don't know what else to do. I tried. I told her how I felt, and she still—" I stopped myself, inhaling sharply. "She still refuses to let me in."

Carlacia and Drew exchanged a look. I laughed humorlessly. "God, why do I even care this much?" Drew tilted his head. "Because you like her."

The words landed so easily. So casually. Like they weren't the biggest truth of all. I swallowed, looking away.

Because as much as I wanted to deny it, to play it off, to pretend like it wasn't that deep... I knew. And maybe that's why it hurt so much.

Carlacia sighed. "Okay, just—be real with me for a second. Are you upset because she won't admit something's going on between you two? Or are you upset because you don't understand why she won't let you in?"

I pressed my lips together, looking away. Carlacia was always right.

I let out a long breath, tilting my head back. "I just—I know there are things Y/n hasn't told me about her past, and I get it. That's her business. But at the same time, it makes things so much harder."

Carlacia listened, letting me work through my thoughts. "She's so open with Caleb and Lili," I continued, biting the inside of my cheek. "But I guess that's just because they've known her practically their whole life."

I hesitated, voice lowering. "I guess... I just thought it'd be easier for her to let me in. After everything. After all the time we've spent together. After how close we've gotten."

Carlacia nodded slowly. "Yeah. I get that." Drew took a sip of his drink. "Y/n's just—she's built different. Some people grow up learning how to let people in. Others grow up learning how to survive."

That made my stomach twist. Because it was true. And I hated it.

Carlacia studied me for a long moment before she sighed. "Okay, but tell me something honestly. Do you really think she doesn't want you? Or do you think she's just scared?"

Deep down, I knew the answer to that. I knew Y/n felt something. I knew she wanted me. I saw it in the way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't paying attention.

I felt it that night— I froze. I let out a small, bitter laugh. "That night."

Carlacia's brow furrowed. "What night?"

Drew raised an eyebrow, suddenly looking a lot more interested in this conversation.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "The night we almost—" I cut myself off, groaning. "God, I can't believe I'm saying this."

Carlacia's eyes widened. "Wait, hold up. Almost what?"

Drew straightened. "Oh no. No, no, no." He held up a hand. "I don't like where this is going."

I felt my face heat up. "I mean, it didn't—nothing happened," I clarified, but that wasn't totally true. Carlacia looked at me expectantly. "Define 'nothing happened.'"

I hesitated, then groaned again. "Okay, fine, we may have been, um... kind of messing around on her couch, I may have felt her um—and you know—."

Drew physically recoiled like I had just slapped him. "Nope. Nope. I'm out." He shook his head aggressively, backing away.

Carlacia, on the other hand, looked way too invested. "Okay, wait. So you two were basically all over each other, and she still pulled away?"

I sighed, nodding. Carlacia's eyes narrowed. "So why did she stop?" I hesitated, because honestly? I didn't fully know the answer to that.

But I had a guess. I swallowed, voice softer now. "I think... she realized how close we were to actually going there, and it scared her."

Carlacia watched me carefully. "And you think it's just about her being scared of a relationship?"

I looked away. "I don't know." Because what if it wasn't just that?

Carlacia was quiet for a second before she sighed. "Madelyn, I'm gonna be real with you. If you wait for Y/n to decide she's ready, you might be waiting forever."

That hit me harder than I expected. I swallowed. "I just... I don't want to force anything."

Carlacia shook her head. "You wouldn't be forcing anything. She already wants you. That's obvious. But wanting someone and allowing yourself to have them? Those are two different things."

Drew groaned, shaking his head. "Can we please talk about literally anything else?"

I laughed, nudging him. "Oh, shut up. Don't act like I haven't heard stories about you and girls before."

Drew gagged. "Yeah, but that's me. You're like a little sister to me. I don't wanna hear about—" He motioned vaguely at me. "—whatever the hell that was."

Carlacia snickered. "Drew's just mad his baby sister is growing up." Drew scowled. "I hate both of you."

I smirked. "Love you too, Starkey."

Drew sighed dramatically, rubbing his face. "I need another drink."

Carlacia shook her head, smiling slightly. Then she turned back to me, her expression more serious. "But for real," she said, voice softer now. "What are you gonna do?"

I exhaled slowly, eyes flickering back toward the house—toward Y/n. "I don't know," I admitted honestly. "But I think I'm done waiting."

Carlacia studied me for a second before nodding. "Good." Drew sighed. "I hate this."

Carlacia smirked. "You'll live." He groaned, muttering something under his breath as he walked back inside. Carlacia laughed before nudging me lightly. "You okay?"

I swallowed, forcing a small smile. "I will be."

. . .

I needed air. The party was still buzzing inside, laughter and music mixing together in a dull hum, but I felt disconnected from all of it.

My head was pounding. Not from drinking, not from exhaustion—just from everything. From Y/n. From my conversation with Carlacia and Drew.

From the way Y/n had spent the night pretending nothing had changed. From the way she still joked with everyone else like things were normal, like we hadn't spent months tangled up in something we refused to name.

Like she hadn't pulled me in just to shove me away. I sighed, wrapping my arms around myself as I stared up at the sky. I didn't hear her footsteps right away. But I felt her. I always felt her.

"Are you really gonna avoid me all night?"

I didn't turn around. I wasn't ready. Instead, I let out a slow breath, gripping the railing a little tighter. "Didn't realize that's what I was doing."

Y/n leaned against the railing next to me, not too close, but not far enough away, either. "You remember our bet from the fair?" she asked lightly.

I stiffened immediately. She was joking? She was actually standing here, trying to joke about that? "You know, the one I won? "

I clenched my jaw, my entire body going rigid. She really thought we could just laugh this off? I shook my head, keeping my voice steady. "You don't get to joke about that."

Y/n blinked, caught off guard. "What?" I turned to face her then, and the words came before I could stop them. "You don't get to act like nothing happened," I said, voice sharper than I intended. "Like you didn't pull me in, make me feel like—"

I cut myself off, swallowing hard. I couldn't even finish the sentence. Because saying it out loud made it too real. Too painful. Y/n's expression shifted, her usual calm, unreadable mask slipping for the first time all night.

"Madz—"

"Forget it," I muttered, shaking my head, turning away.

I wasn't doing this. I wasn't going to stand here and let her play this game anymore. "Madelyn, wait."

I did. I didn't know why. I should've kept walking. I should've left. But I didn't. Because no matter how much she pissed me off, I still wanted her to fight for me.

To prove that I meant something. I turned back around slowly, crossing my arms. "What?" Y/n exhaled, rubbing the back of her neck. "Are we really gonna do this here?"

I huffed a bitter laugh. "Do what? Have a real conversation for once?"

She clenched her jaw. "That's not fair."

I raised an eyebrow. "No? Because it kinda feels like it is."

Y/n sighed, looking away, like she was debating what to say. And that made me even angrier. Because why was this so hard for her? Why did she always hesitate with me?

"Why is it so hard for you to let me in?" I asked, my voice quieter now, more tired than anything.

Y/n tensed, shoulders stiffening like she was bracing for something. But she didn't answer. I let out a humorless laugh, shaking my head. "See? This is exactly what I mean."

She sighed. "It's not that simple, Madelyn."

"Yes, it is," I snapped. Y/n exhaled sharply, pressing her palms against the railing. "I have responsibilities. I have Storm, my job—I don't have time to—"

"To what?" I cut in, stepping closer. "To let yourself be happy?"

Y/n blinked, startled by my words. I swallowed hard, my throat burning. "Because that's what this is, right? You don't think you're allowed to have this. To have me."

She exhaled slowly, like she was trying to stay calm. Then she finally looked at me. And the words she said next cut through me like a knife.

"I don't want to feel like a charity case in your world, Madelyn."

I froze. Everything inside me went cold. And then? Then I felt something else. A sharp, burning anger that masked the deep, hollow ache that came with hearing her say that.

"When have I ever made you feel like a charity case?" I asked, my voice quiet but laced with something dangerous.

Y/n hesitated. She couldn't even answer. Because she knew she was full of shit.

I shook my head, my throat tightening. "Y/n, I have been begging for your attention since day one."

She looked away. I kept going, because now I couldn't stop.

"I told you that you were different. That you saw me beyond the fame, beyond the interviews, beyond everything that people expect from me."

I swallowed hard. "And you know what sucks?" I asked, voice quieter now, more vulnerable than I wanted it to be.

Y/n didn't answer. So I answered for her.

"I actually thought I was different to you, too."

Her face changed. Like she hadn't expected me to say that. Like she hadn't realized just how much this hurt. I laughed bitterly, swiping a hand through my hair. "I don't even know why I'm wasting my breath."

Y/n stepped closer. "You're not." I scoffed. "Really? Because it kinda feels like I am."

Y/n exhaled sharply, looking away, her hands gripping the railing like she was trying to hold onto something steady.

That pissed me off more. "You keep acting like I don't know you, like I don't see you, like I don't understand what's going on in that head of yours."

Y/n finally turned to face me, her expression tight. "Because you don't, Madelyn."

That stung. I sucked in a breath. "Then help me understand!"

She shook her head, jaw tightening. "It's not that simple."

I let out a bitter laugh. "You keep saying that, but it sounds like a bullshit excuse at this point."

Y/n's eyes darkened, her posture shifting like she was getting ready to argue back.

"Oh, so now my feelings are bullshit?" she asked, her voice laced with something sharp.

I ran a hand through my hair, frustration pressing down on my chest like a weight. "That's not what I'm saying and you know it."

"Then what are you saying, Madelyn?"

I took a step closer, staring at her, searching for the real answer she wasn't giving me.

"I'm saying I don't get it. I don't get why I had to spend months thinking that maybe, just maybe, you actually wanted this—wanted me—only for you to decide that you don't."

Y/n's face flickered. It was fast. Barely noticeable. But I caught it. That tiny hesitation. That flash of emotion before she buried it. Before she shoved it all down again. I swallowed hard, my voice quieter now. "Because I don't think that's the truth."

Y/n's throat bobbed as she swallowed. She looked at me like she wanted to say something, like the words were right there on the tip of her tongue.

But she didn't. She didn't say anything. And that? That pissed me off more than if she had just told me she didn't care. I laughed humorlessly, stepping back. "Wow. You still can't say it."

Y/n exhaled sharply. "Madelyn—" I shook my head. "No, seriously. I just poured my heart out to you, and you're just gonna stand there and say nothing? Pretend like none of this happened?"

She looked away. Like a coward. Like she couldn't face me. That was it. That was my breaking point. I felt my voice crack as I spoke again. "Do you even know how hard this has been for me?"

Y/n's head snapped up, surprised by the raw emotion in my voice.

I swallowed, my hands shaking slightly. "I have spent months trying to be patient, trying to respect whatever walls you've put up, trying to prove to you that I'm not going anywhere. And you—"

My breath caught, but I forced myself to keep going. "You