⟡ ݁₊ . 💒. 𝓛ET 𝓣HE 𝓛IGHT 𝓘N. . . ୨ৎ .ᐟ
( 014. ) ━━ ❛ you should talk to matt. ❜

my eyes don't shed tears, but boy they pour
when i'm thinking 'bout you, ooh, no, no, no
💌
𝓣HINKIN 𝓑OUT 𝓨OU, frank ocean.

nick 🧸 ; nick
Viola 😚😚 ; viola

Viola 😚😚
hiii nick <3

nick 🧸
Hey queen
What's up?

Viola 😚😚
nothing much
you?

nick 🧸
Kinda busy w some college work but other than that nothing

Viola 😚😚
cool
also i wanted to
uh
well i was wondering if you've seen matt today?

nick 🧸
Hmm I don't think so?
He's been pretty busy in the workshop for the past couple of days

Viola 😚😚
workshop?

nick 🧸
Yk fixing cars and stuff
Why? Have you guys not been hanging out?

Viola 😚😚
no
but he said he was busy it's fine
i was just checking

nick 🧸
Yeah he's been trying to save up a bunch of money lately

Viola 😚😚
yeah makes sense
well thanks for telling me

nick 🧸
Anytime
You all okay tho?

Viola 😚😚
yess ofc!

nick 🧸
You sure?

Viola 😚😚
ofc
thanks nick!!!!

nick 🧸
You're welcome
But you're SURE nothing else is going on?

Viola 😚😚
nope!!

chris 😌 ; chris
Vi Harlow ; viola

Vi Harlow
heyyy chris

chris 😌
Yoo Vi
Wassup

Vi Harlow
not much
wbu

chris 😌
Yeah same

Vi Harlow
twin

chris 😌
Are you good?

Vi Harlow
yeaaaaahhh 
why?

chris 😌
You're acting funny

Vi Harlow
over text?

chris 😌
Your texting game is off

Vi Harlow
i think you're delusional

chris 😌
Hmm
Okay
You talk to Matt yet?

Vi Harlow
uhh
what?

chris 😌
?
What are you confused about

Vi Harlow
talk to matt?
wdym i always talk to matt
he's my boyfriend

chris 😌
Right
No yeah obviously
I just mean
Like....

Vi Harlow
chris.
pls explain

chris 😌
Naaaah I think you should talk to Matt

Vi Harlow
alright
do you know where he is?

chris 😌
Ummmm
No

Vi Harlow
bro
the workshop maybe?

chris 😌
Oh
Yes
He's definitely there
Probably

Vi Harlow
okay thanks

chris 😌
Np

𝓣HE 𝓝EXT morning is the first of many without a single word from matt. too upset to even be embarrassed about being needy or desperate anymore, viola texts him once again. it's just a simple hey, you okay?  — but the message goes unread, just like all her others.

she waits. sends him another that afternoon. and the next day, but there's still nothing. it's like he's suddenly vanished, conveniently right after what happened with julian at her house. it's driving her absolutely crazy.

each day, morning and night, she stares out of her bedroom window and into his, attempting to see if he's home. the window is always dark, however. his car leaves in the early hours of the morning and doesn't seem to come back, no matter how late she stays up that night. she hasn't seen him in days — save for that one moment on the sidewalk shortly after julian left.

the guilt, panic, and confusion is like a dull ache in her chest that won't fade. she's trying not to obsess over this, hoping that matt's just busy working, but it's hard. they'd joked about not having to hang out as much when mrs murphy went on her two-week vacation at the start of july — which is now — but after everything that's happened since that conversation, viola didn't think they'd actually go through with that.

every little thing reminds her of him. his hoodie still hanging on the back of her chair that she forgot to give back. when her mom made pancakes for breakfast yesterday and she noticed how they didn't have chocolate chips in them, like he would've liked. sza's album ctrl, which seems to torture her with every song that plays.

she's been checking instagram more than she cares to admit, frantically checking his stories, feed, and tagged photos. but there's nothing — he's gone quiet everywhere. his digital silence is just as loud as the real thing, and it feels like shit.

one night, three days in, she wakes up in a cold sweat after dreaming about the night at the lake. the kiss, and how perfect it had felt. how different they'd been from how they are now. she lies there in the dark, her chest aching violently. she wonders if he regrets it, wonders if he ever thought it meant something.

by the fourth day, viola's going absolutely insane. she's snapping at her mom, ignoring her texts, and skipping deb rehearsals. her heart feels raw and broken, like the shards are cutting her deep inside.

she wishes she could go back — back to the car ride, the lake, the diner. before julian, before everything fell apart.

before the silence.

viola is half-dressed for bed when she finally breaks.

she grabs her keys and drives to honey's, even though it's one in the morning. she knows her best friend will be awake, anyway. the sky is a deep blue, stars blurred by thin clouds. it's peaceful as she drives, yet all she can think about is the fact that the only reason she's even in her car is because matt fixed it for her.

shit.

when honey opens the door, half-asleep in turquoise victoria's secret pyjamas and one sock, her expression shifts immediately from confusion to concern.

"dylan?"

viola doesn't even try to keep it together, biting her bottom lip to stop it from trembling. "i haven't heard from him," she says. honey blinks.

"who, matt?"

viola nods, wrapping her arms tightly around herself. "four days," she mumbles quietly. honey's eyes widen then, before she steps aside, ushering viola inside.

"okay, let's go back a little," she says, sitting down on the couch. "what happened?"

viola follows suit, sinking into the couch with her legs curled beneath her. she takes a deep breath, before beginning to unload the events of the past few days. the first mention of julian's name alone causes honey to roll her eyes, and it makes viola's heart sink.

"he saw it," she says then, quietly. "i know he did. he was right there."

honey presses her lips together. "his feelings were probably hurt," she says with a shrug. "he definitely feels the same way you do, so seeing you kissing your ex was probably not something he wanted to witness." 

viola shuts her eyes tightly, wishing it would make everything disappear. honey wraps her arm around viola's shoulders, pulling her into a side hug. "did you tell him off?" the girl asks then. "julian, i mean."

"of course i did. i practically screamed at him," viola retorts, unintentionally snapping at her best friend and immediately feeling guilty for it. "sorry..." she apologizes sheepishly, before taking a deep breath. "it doesn't matter what i did though, because matt probably thinks i wanted it."

honey frowns, lightly tracing circles on viola's shoulder with her finger. "okay, first of all, fuck julian. he sucks. i mean, we already knew that, but just in case you needed reminding."

viola chuckles under her breath. "thanks, honey," she smiles. 

"second of all," the girl continues, pointing at viola. "if matt really thinks you wanted that kiss, then he doesn't know you at all," she says. "but i think he does. i think he knows exactly who you are and how you feel. but he's probably spiraling over it, just like you did when you found out about daniella."

it makes sense, but viola still isn't sure. "i don't know," she mutters. "maybe he thinks it actually was fake, and that i was just using him."

honey squints at her. "and were you?"

"no!" viola throws her hands up in the air. "i mean, at first, yeah. we were... but it's not like that anymore, at least not for me."

"so just tell him that," honey says, nodding slowly. viola sighs and rubs her eyes.

"it sounds so dumb when i say it out loud," she replies.

"it's not dumb, dylan," honey disagrees. "it's honest. just tell him what you told me, that julian came over and kissed you without your consent. tell him how you feel, and that you're sorry for not saying anything sooner."

"what if he doesn't believe me?" viola asks defeatedly.

honey shrugs once again. "then he doesn't," she deadpans, and viola wishes she could disappear into thin air and never return. "but i think he will, because he's not stupid. besides, he obviously likes you as well," honey continues.

viola just narrows her eyes. "you don't know that." honey gives her a look. 

"viola," she says with a frustrated sigh. "he brought you to a hidden lake and kissed you. he volunteers for the deb ball preparations just to hang out with you. he started wearing his glasses only after you said they looked good on him. he fixed your car. must i continue?"

viola shrugs, a grin toying on her lips. honey sighs loudly. "he looks at you like there's nobody else in the world. happy?" viola blinks at her.

"that was disgustingly poetic."

"thanks. i'm going to use it in my college application," honey smirks, though her expression turns more sincere a moment later. "seriously though, you have to talk to him."

viola fiddles with her hands in her lap. "i will..." she murmurs, her tone everything but convincing.

honey frowns. "dylan."

"okay, i will!" viola exclaims exasperatedly. "just... not tonight."

honey rolls her eyes, but nods all the same. "okay," she shrugs. "but promise me that you will soon."

"promise," viola says, immediately cursing herself for it.

💌 ⋆✴︎˚。⋆ ━━ ava speaks !

chapters are getting shorter but if i combine them together it'll be too long UGHHHH

okay wtv byeee