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THE NEXT DAY couldn't have come any quicker. Max and I ended up beside each other on the shuttle ride back to the lodge yesterday. I tried to start a conversation with him but the shuttle was too quiet and every bit of sound could be heard by everyone. The only noise was from the engine and the busy street. It was absolute torture.

Today's activities were sleigh riding and ice skating. It's a calmer schedule as compared to yesterday's jam-packed one. When we got to the place for the sleigh ride, it was honestly a very amusing scene. Younger kids were so amazed at the sight of the horses, parents were trying to control their little ones, teenagers not knowing whether to be glad or bored, and the staff trying their best to keep everything under control.

"Okay so here's what we got," Dad said as he, Paul, and Luke came back from asking about how to hitch a ride. "There are a lot of sleighs but each ride lasts for about half an hour and each sleigh can carry seven people max. That already includes the guy who controls the sleigh."

"Okay, so we're going to split up again?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, but the line is quite long and we're tenth in the queue. So by the time it's our turn, it'll be noon." Paul added.

It's already 10 AM so we'd have to wait two hours. We all gasped at the waiting time. We all would've done without the sleigh ride but Tilly was super excited for this that she'd be super disappointed if we didn't ride. Tilly had a huge look of disappointment painted on her face as she knew that her chances of riding a sleigh were growing slimmer by the second. It broke my heart to see her like that and I honestly kind of wanted to ride too, so I was really hoping someone would come up with a bright idea.

"On the bright side, there's a huge cafe and bar and a gift shop right there! We can wait there since we have a number and there's a screen inside that flashes who's next in queue." Luke smiled as he gestured towards the cafe. So that explains the lack of a proper line and people all over the place.

"Well, what does everyone say?" Sara smiled as she turned to all of us.

Tilly looked at us expectantly with her big brown eyes, pleading us to say yes and wait. She jumped and cheered when we all agreed and said we'd wait. Dad went to confirm our spot in the queue before we headed off. Our dads, Luke, and the boys decided to check the bar while us women went to the cafe. Of course Sara and mum had to remind our dads not to buy and give any of the boys any alcohol.

We ordered some coffee, tea, and pastries before we got a seat beside the window. The cafe was beautifully illuminated with natural light and the heater was turned up just enough to keep everyone warm. Mum, Sara and Aunt Tessa chat for a long time while Tilly and I talked about everything under the sun. After that, mum and Aunt Tessa transitioned into a deep conversation, leaving me and Sara to talk while Tilly kept herself busy on her phone.

"Hey love, how are you? We haven't been able to talk much lately." Sara smiled sweetly as she shifted seats and sat closer to me.

"There are many ways this conversation can go. Which path would you like to take?" I asked her with a small chuckle. Sara was very much like my second mum, so I enjoyed conversations with her.

"Let's start with how you're enjoying the trip then tell me how you've been since after the formal."

"Well I'm really enjoying the trip. It's really fun here in Utah." I beamed. "I just kind of miss how our old trips used to be, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." She smiled empathetically.

"It's weird not being stuck to Max like velcro on a trip like this. It feels like I'm on a trip with my family plus a stranger."

"He's been very quiet recently, actually. It's not like him."

"Oh no! I broke him." I gasped.

"Well technically, you broke his heart countless of times." Sara chuckled and teased.

"Sara! Way to make me feel guilty." I laughed and she laughed along with me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!" She laughed. "But how have you been since the formal?"

"I've been taking it day by day. Trying to hold myself together and trying not to keep crying." I said as Sara nodded understandingly. Then I looked at her ashamedly as if I had committed a crime. "How's Max?"

"Oh boy..." She exhaled and chuckled. "He's terrible."

"Oh goodness." I sighed as I facepalmed.

"He's really trying to make it seem like he's so unbothered and that he's fine, but you can easily see right through him that he's not."

"It's my fault."

"It's no one's fault, love." She said so gently. I looked at her in shock and she just smiled at me before taking my hand in hers. "Max always had this go-getter mindset. If he wants something, he'll make sure to get it."

"Oh you bet." I chuckled and agreed with her.

"He's liked you for a long time now but he never pursued you, or pushed his feelings on you, or forced you to like him back because he treasured your friendship even more. It was one of the few times he didn't make use of his go-getter attitude. He always reminded himself that you're his best friend above anything else." She explained as she rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb. "He was always so afraid of losing you."

"And I'm afraid of losing him too! That's why I've been pushing away any romantic feelings because I'm so scared to lose our friendship." I sighed as she gently turned to me. "You know him best and you can see how he his right now. What do I need to do?"

"Okay first off, I'm going to give you the same disclaimer I gave Max. No matter how many people you ask advice from, at the end of the day it's your call on whether you'll take our advice into account or not." She said and I nodded understandingly since she had a point.

"Now here, actions speak louder than words, love. When Max couldn't bring himself to admit that he likes you, I already saw right through him. And when it was your turn to be in denial about your feelings, I could see how you really felt as well. The way you two acted around each other was more than enough proof to show that you guys had feelings going on. That's why you really can't blame people for thinking that you guys are together, or that you like each other at least, when you two are constantly cuddling and holding hands." She chuckled.

"Okay, true..." I chuckled as well and stifled a shy blush.

"And Charlie, I hope you know that what you have with Max is really special."

"The friendship or the budding romance?"

"Both." She shrugged. "The trust and love between you two is a trust and a love you can't find anywhere else. Every form of trust and love is different but what you two have is so beautiful and so special that I want you and Max to think of your next moves carefully. Because I know how much it's going to break you and him if you lose each other, and that's going to break my heart to pieces. It's going to break all of us to pieces too."

"Whatever situation we're in right now is already breaking me, honestly." I sighed.

"Just ride the waves, love. Allow yourselves to be led where you're meant to go. You can't stop and avoid things that are meant to be." Sara smiled as she gently caressed my cheek.

"Thanks Sara. I really appreciate it." I smiled back at her.

"Of course, Charlie." She nodded before wrapping me in a comforting hug.

"Okay, family, who's ready to go sleigh riding?!" Harvey beamed as he entered the cafe and caught everyone's attention. Like literally everyone in the cafe.

Sara and I let go of our hug and laughed at her son's silliness. We gathered our belongings and coats as we headed out and finally went for our long awaited sleigh ride.

——

When we got back to the lodge, us kids went ice skating while the adults enjoyed the sauna. The lodge has this huge outdoor rink and we obviously didn't want to miss out on the chance to go ice skating. Harvey had gone into the rink with Tilly, Leo and Alfie while Max and were still putting on our skates. While I was struggling to tie on my skates, a pair of hands carefully shoved mine away and tied my laces for me.

"This should be tied on right or else you're gonna have a hard time skating." Max said sternly, immediately bringing me back to the night at Winter Wonderland.

"Right. Thanks." I smiled down at him once he finished.

"Yeah, no problem." He said as he stood up.

He entered the rink and caught up to his siblings and my brother while I held on to the sides and watched them. I felt some sort of comfort that this time there wouldn't be a Keith Jones to ruin the fun. But this time there was a Max Mills who was obviously mad at me and probably wanted to be as far away from me as possible.

"Charlie! Charlie, come join us!" Tilly yelled from the centre of the huge rink.

"I'll catch up! Gimme a sec!" I called back.

I struggled to catch my balance on the slippery ice. It was a known fact that attempting to join them at the centre was going to be a tough feat. A hand popped in front of me and caught me by surprise. I traced the hand and looked up to see Max. He held his hand out generously yet his face remained so blank and empty.

"I'm fine. I just need to-"

"Don't be so hardheaded. Let's go." He said monotonously. I took his hand and he carefully led me to his siblings and my brother.

When we got to them, Alfie caught me and held me when Max had let go of me. I looked back at Max and saw him quickly tuck his hands back into his coat's pockets. The smile on my face vanished when I realised that there was no spark when he held my hand and there was no fear of letting go when he passed me onto Alfie. There was only wanting to keep holding his hand and wanting to see him smile.

"Tag! You're it!" Tilly smiled brightly as she tagged Alfie.

She caught both of us by surprise as she started the game. Alfie turned to me with a mischievous grin and I begged him not to tag me. But what would I expect from my younger brother? He tagged me and let go of me before all of them started skating swiftly away.

I tried to tag Leo but he was good at dodging me. I tried to tag Alfie but he sped up every time I came nearer. I wanted to tag Harvey but he was holding Tilly, and if I tagged either of them, they might end up tumbling down. That leaves one last option. I skated quickly towards Max who hadn't turned around to look back even though he knew I was behind. I held my hand out to reach for his coat and tag him. But my balance had betrayed me.

Once I tagged him, I lost my balance so I tightly gripped on his coat causing him to lose his balance too. He caught me and protectively wrapped his hand around my waist as we both struggled to stay standing. Next thing I know, we stumbled down with me on top of him and his back on the cold ice.

"Hi." I gasped, my heart beating excruciatingly fast since this was the first time we've been so close to each other since the formal.

"Hi." He replied, also quite shocked at what just happened and at the proximity of our faces.

I got off of him and he stood up before helping me up. As much as I wanted that to be an opening for us to go back to normal, he was being so cold and so distant. Our siblings caught up to us and laughed at our misfortune. The game continued and Max went off to tag Harvey. The two quickly skating around the rink and almost bumping into some people was a very amusing sight for us. It reminded me of when we were little and they'd always chase each other around the house or the playground.

Ice skating with the boys and our siblings was the type of fun I didn't know I've been craving for a while now. It was a very good choice to go skating while the adults went to the sauna. But I couldn't help but notice how cold and distant Max was being towards me the whole time. And it really, really broke my heart.

——

After spending hours in the ice rink, we all decided to finally get some rest before dinner. Alfie and I took a warm shower before we flicked through the many different channels.

We watched one of those Hallmark Christmas movies before I messaged Harvey and asked if we could talk. Thankfully, Max was going around the lodge with Tilly and Leo so Harvey was alone in their room. I asked Alfie if he wanted to come with me but he said he was going to keep watching telly instead.

I grabbed my hoodie and my newly bought Uggs, which were already my favourite even though this was only my second pair, and headed to their room. I was suddenly getting super nervous as I waited for Harvey to open the door. Thankfully, he opened up before I could lose myself in an abyss of overthinking. He smiled welcomingly and allowed me into their room.

I smiled at how it was how I expected it to look. It was a bit of a mess and their luggages were spread across the floor in a failed attempt to zip them closed. Harvey said he shared his bed with Leo while Max and Tilly shared the other bed. I jumped onto Harvey and Leo's bed then Harvey jumped in right after me.

"Finally I get to give you a sermon too." He said as he tucked us under the covers.

"Excuse me?" I chuckled, slightly taken aback.

"I was kidding. Let's talk. What's up?" He smiled cheekily as he turned to me.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? You came to me, remember?" He asked with an annoyed look on his face which made me laugh. "Sorry to break it to you but I'm not a mind reader, Charlie."

"Well yeah. And you kinda sorta are. Trust me, you already know what I'm gonna say." I said as I tucked myself deeper into the sheets and laid my head down on the pillow.

"You got me. Spill the tea." He smiled and raised his hands up in surrender.

"I kind of got everyone's insight and advice already but I still need yours."

"I'm flattered, I really am, Charlie." He smiled, making me smile too.

"You're my best friend too, Harv. Your opinion matters to me."

"Stop that! I'm going to cry!" He gasped as he pretended to fan away his invisible tears.

"Stop that! You're such a drama queen!" I laughed as I slapped his arm.

"Right, because there's only room for one drama queen in this friendship and it's gonna be me." He said very seriously.

"Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown." I smirked.

"No. I think I'm good." He said then fixed his invisible crown as I laughed at his silly antics. "Okay, seriously now, what's up?"

"'What's up?' Harvey, you know what's up." I said matter-of-factly. "I told you and Summer things would all go downhill at the Winter Formal. Maybe if I never went, then maybe Max and I would still be alright. I messed up, Harv. I messed up so badly."

"Stop that, Charlie. Don't think of it that way. The night went well until it didn't." Harvey said but he just gained a death glare from me. "Right, okay, that sounded like shit and was of no help at all but..."

"But what?"

"But look on the bright side, yellow! We're here, aren't we?"

"Where exactly is here?"

"At the lodge, doofus." He said blankly as he lightly whacked me on the forehead.

"And that's supposed to help how?" I laughed as I shoved his hand away.

"It's supposed to be time for you and Max to heal." Harvey said with a look as if to say that that was something I already should've known. "Look, I know it sucks that you and Max have to go through this so many times. 2019 was definitely not your year as friends because you've kind of spent half of it mad or not talking to each other. But after you two have had your time apart, you guys go back to each other like nothing ever even happened!"

"It's not exactly fun anymore, yellow. It's actually getting really tiring. What's the assurance that 2020 won't be the same?" I sighed in defeat.

"You like each other! Sure, you ended 2018 on a rough end then started 2019 by not talking, but 2020 is going to be your year! It's going to be Max AND Charlie's year!"

"I'm not telling him I like him, if that's what you're implying." I said nonchalantly as I tucked my hand under the pillow I had my head on.

"Well whatever. I know that somehow and some way, you two are going to make 2020 your year and it's going to be so much better for you guys."

I didn't respond. A silence of defeat veiled the two of us. I sat back up and we both sat cross-legged facing each other. I fiddled with the sheets while Harvey was thinking of what to say next. Even he knew I was a lost cause at this point.

"Look, I don't know what you wanted to hear from me, Charlie. You know I'm terrible at giving advice, but I'm good at telling you the truth. And the truth is that Max really, really loves you—as a friend and as someone more than a friend. I'll let you decide where that is." Harvey said as he lifted my chin to look at him. "He really cares for you, Charlie. You mean so much to him. I'm gonna make a wild guess and say you mean the world to him. And I know he means a lot to you as well. Frankly, I know that you really, really love him too."

"I see the way you smile when you're with him. I know how happy you are when he's around. I also see how he smiles when you're around and how happy you make him. And under all that, I know how sad you two are when you're not together and when you're like this." He sighed as I ran a hand down my face in exasperation at myself. "It's like Max is your better half and you're his better half. 'Max and Charlie' is like Max and Harvey—an iconic duo that comes like a buy-one-get-one deal."

"Hey Harvey, I saw mum and she said to start getting ready for dinner. Leo and Tilly went to grab something from Alfie and..." The voice of Max cut our conversation as he mindlessly entered the room then shut the door, completely oblivious of my presence. When he looked up and saw me, he blanched like he saw a ghost. "Hi."

"Hi." I simply smiled back with a shy wave.

"I'll be in here." He said as he entered the bathroom without taking his eyes off me then quickly shutting the door.

"Don't take too long! Charlie won't care how you smell like! She's too busy whiffing in the cinnamon aroma of the lodge!" Harvey called out to Max. I shot Harvey a look to tell him to take it back.

"Kidding!" Harvey laughed then turned to me while scrunching his nose and shaking his head. "Not really."

"In my defense, the lodge smells great! The cinnamon scent is everywhere! And it smells like vanilla in the rooms!" I laughed as I took a whiff. The rooms really did smell like vanilla and it was utterly soothing.

"Yeah, now you know how you smelled like when we were younger." Harvey chuckled as if he was glad I realised my crime.

"Whatever." I laughed and rolled my eyes. I turned to the closed bathroom door and decided that it was time for me to head out. There was no point in continuing the conversation when Max was already there. "I better get going. Thanks Harvey. I really appreciate it."

"I'm always here, Charlie. I hope that knocked some sense into you." He smiled as I stood up and put my boots on.

"Oh it sure did. Knocked me too hard actually." I teased and he laughed.

"I see both sides of the picture pretty well so you think about it, alright, yellow?" He said seriously with a knowing smile.

"Alright, yellow. Thanks again." I smiled as I headed for the door.

"I'll see you at dinner."

"See you." I responded before shutting the