— 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧 —

━━━━━━ ☽【❖】☾ ━━━━━━

I never expected to survive so long. And I can't decide whether that's a blessing from the gods or a curse.

The second my name was called, I remember all the blood rushing from my face while my eyes threatened to roll back inside my head. I remember looking out into the crowd while standing on that stage. Not a single pair of eyes met mine. That is none except Juneaux.

She looked at me like someone she knew from a distant dream. It didn't take long to return the look as we each experienced moments that reminded us of a happiness we once knew.

It was cruel if you really think about it. To meet someone who completes your other half by circumstances where you'll be forced to watch one another die... or worse: end that life yourself. You have no idea how badly I wish the circumstances were different. How I wish Juneaux and I met years ago when the other's presence would be enough to console the loss of our first half. But here we were: kids thrust into the arms of death for the twisted entertainment of those that called themselves adults.

I know Juneaux looks at me like I'm her little brother. She's mentioned a number of times how I remind her of Marcus. And sometimes I worry I could never live up to those expectations. Other times I know I could never live up the other boy who died a hero in her eyes. Because she promised between the two of us, I would be the one to live. I would be the one to go home, and there was nothing I could do to change her mind.

As much as Juneaux reminds me of my sister's kindness, she's like a parent I wish I had growing up—I say as if I'm not still a child. She looks after me in a way no one else ever had because it was my sister who needed my parents' attention, and even after she was gone, I was neglected and to blame.

The arena almost felt like a safe space. It was an illusion of the life I wish I had growing up—minus the constant threat of death. When it was just Juneaux, Rex, Honey, and myself, it felt like we could take on the world. Like we were a little family healing each other in the areas where we ourselves were not fractured. No matter how much the world took, and the waves beat against the walls of that home, we would not go quietly.

Only now Honey was gone and the dynamics of that family had changed the second we let a traitor step through the door.

True, I was eager to accept Romulus at first. I thought he could teach us how to survive, forgetting that we'd done just fine on our own. And then I heard the way he threatened and snarled and barred his teeth like a wild animal you'd find out in the fields that had wandered too far from its pack.

Juneaux said he was all bark and no bite. I think it's the only decision I've questioned up to this point. Rex might not always be the most open with strangers, but I don't think he's wrong now. If we're not careful, the wolf in sheep's clothing might just pick us off one by one.

But then he had to go and confuse me even more by saving my life. And now I'm not sure what to think when it comes to the tribute from district two.

The mouth of the cavern was too hot to approach, but I sat as close as I could anyone—still a good thirty feet away from the daylight. I almost missed the sun and the heat. It was reminiscent of home, but then I question whether I could consider district nine my home anymore as everyone I really care about is trapped in this cave with me.

"Is this seat taken?" Rex asked, gently introducing himself to the silence while he jokingly gestured to the ground beside me. His eyes were red and puffy, something that made me uncomfortable as Honey's death had been the first time I'd actually seen him cry.

"You can sit there." I nodded my head, pulling my knees up into my chest as I kept my eyes locked straight ahead where I presumed the horizon would be. Rex took a seat on the ground. There was a moment of silence then I continued the conversation. "I can't believe she's gone."

"It's better this way," Rex admitted. I turned toward him with a look of utter shock. His comment wasn't malicious, but broken and honest. "She was hurting so much. And as much as our parents and siblings will miss her. I was the one to look out for her. Only one of us was going to leave this arena alive, and even that had been a delusional hope."

"She's finally at peace," I quietly agreed, repeating what Juneaux had said to me earlier.

Rex slowly nodded his head. "I only hope that she could forgive me."

"It wasn't your fault," I protested. "The gamemakers are the ones that created the mutt. They're the ones who destroyed all of our lives by sending us here."

Rex released a bitter laugh. "Even so... I won't fail again."

"So then you'll fight to win?" I was hesitant to ask, fearing the answer that forced the corner of his lip to twitch.

He shook his head. "I was never here for myself. If I can't save Honey, then I'll help Juneaux."

"You've already done so much for us—"

"I'm going to help Juneaux," Rex repeated. "Even if she's grown distracted by the wolf and his fancy pelt."

"You mean Romulus?" I questioned rhetorically. "I mean, sure, I don't exactly trust him, but if he wanted to hurt us wouldn't he have done so already?"

"That's what he wants you to think," Rex contradicted. "He'll get close. Earn your trust. Then stab you in the back to satiate his own desire. Or worse, he'll twist Juneaux into his own murderous image."

My brow furrowed with confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Have you listened to their sparring sessions?" Rex asked. "He's trying to teach her how to kill. So far she's resisted the temptation, but once she crosses that line... there's no going back."

I swallowed. "Juneaux wouldn't—"

"Wouldn't she?" Rex interjected, interrupting my defense. "Have you seen how much time she spends with him? How she watches him as if he's the best thing to come waltzing into our lives rather than a dead rat caught by the cat and dropped at our feet. The Capitol and the gamemakers have a hand in all of this. They're the ones controlling the strings... And if I'm wrong, then tell me where Juneaux is now."

Rex looked at me expectantly. My expression remained blank while I shrugged. "I thought she was going to get some sleep. It's been a while since she rested."

Rex chuckled and shook his head. "No, she crawled right back into the wolf's den without realizing how much danger she was truly in."

"Rex, he's not going to do anything," I insisted, trying to calm down the wild look surging in his eyes.

"Harlan, wake up." Rex's voice was cold as he looked down at me. "There are only five of us left. Only one of is walking out of here alive, and I'm going to make sure it's not him."

Rex turned on his heels and stormed down the cavern corridor. I didn't hesitate to sprint after him, pulling on his arm as if that might deter him from the drastic decision his mind had made.

I didn't like the way I felt beside the tribute I'd previously looked up to. In this light, Rex was dangerous and unpredictable. And for the first time since being in his presence, I was actually frightened.

As Rex stormed into the sparring chamber, he kicked the pile of weapons lying on the ground. The clatter woke the pair of tributes who had fallen asleep on the other side of the chamber, slumped against the wall beside one another. Juneaux and Romulus looked more than startled as they both reached for a weapon. Juneaux was the only one to relax as she recognized who it was that had startled her awake. Romulus remained tense, picking up on my own unease far quicker that she did.

"Let's not be rash." Romulus's voice was low. A warning to think before acting.

"Why is he still here?" Rex asked accusingly, gesturing to Romulus while only addressing Juneaux. "Because I can only think of one reason. You've forgotten the rest of us and you've forgotten your word."

"Rex..." Juneaux stepped forward, trying to reach out to the other tribute. "It's been a long and emotional day. You've just lost someone you care about dearly. You need to rest."

"You don't know what I need." He looked hurt and betrayed. "What I need is for you to make a choice."

Juneaux glanced over her shoulder at Romulus, ensuring she stood between the two older male tributes as if she were a proper barrier. She understood neither of them were willing to hurt her, and unfortunately she was forced to use that to her advantage.

"Don't be a child," Romulus snapped, shaking his head. A statement that did not help the situation whatsoever, only fueled the fire of the rivalry. As Juneaux helplessly stood between them—picking neither side—it was apparent that Rex believed she'd made a decision.

"Wrong choice."

Rex knelt to the ground, lifting his hand-crafted spear from the pile. Juneaux rushed forward, but the distance between them was too great, and Rex had proven himself a better marksman than anyone had anticipated.

I closed my eyes, turning my head so that I wouldn't have to watch the moment that Romulus was impaled. I considered covering my ears so that I wouldn't have to hear the grunt or groan of pain, or the sound of him choking on his own blood. I just couldn't bring myself to watch another ally die—even if I didn't consider myself friends with Romulus that didn't mean I pleasured the thought of his downfall.

Yet none of the above occurred.

Instead... a pinprick of warmth blossomed from my sternum, radiating throughout the rest of my body as if I'd stepped outside of the cavern and embraced the blistering heat. It was uncomfortable and suddenly it was difficult to breathe.

The world felt like it was falling around me in slow motion as I opened my eyes and wrapped my hands around the shaft protruding from my chest. The burning sensation was replaced by a bone-chilling cold as I met her eyes on my descent.

"Juneaux..."