LOTTIE HAD SEEN more death in the past year than she had ever seen before. The fear in her eyes as she watched people get torn apart outside of the mall, never being able to wear the new clothes they got at their favorite store, or the money they had wasted as their half-finished drinks splatter on the ground. Not that it mattered, anyways.

Or when she watched her father's life taken from her in front of her eyes, leaving her to fend for herself for the rest of the cruel world.

Or like just now, when a boy younger than her was taken for trying to enjoy his childhood with a toy. She watched as the parents weeped, the mother falling to her knees and the father, just feet away from saving his boy.

Lottie watched, and she couldnt shake the feeling that if maybe she had been a little faster, the could rip the toy out of his hands and thrown it a mile away. But, alas, you cant change the past.

The family was silent for a moment, and Lottie turned to walk away, trying not to be a bother for the newly grieving family. That was, until the daughter caught her eyes, motioning towards her.

Lottie blinked, and when she opened her eyes once more, the entire family was looking at her. Her lips twitched downwards, and she figured she should do something.

"im sorry" Lottie signed, her mouth moving with the hand motion in case they didnt know the language. She locked eyes with the father, and the pain in his eyes said everything.

"its not your fault" The daughter had signed, shaking her head. Lottie raised her eyebrows slightly at the words, mostly because she was a bit shocked at the sign. Moving past that, she bit her lip, chewing the dry bits and weakly pointed towards the forest.

"i should get home, i'm sorry for your loss" She told them, taking a few steps back, glancing behind her so she wouldn't step on anything loud.

The father furrowed his eyebrows, holding a hand out to stop her. "are you all alone?"

Lottie wasnt stupid. Throughout her years of normal childhood, her parents had taught her how to answer these types of questions. But then again, it was a family with three—sorry, two children, so how harmful could they be?

Lottie nodded, glancing between the family. At her answer, the man rubbed a hand over his face. "thats not safe"

Lottie refrained from rolling her eyes and rolled her tongue over her teeth. "Ive made it this far, where are you staying?"

"theres a farm, about half a mile from here" The man pointed south, and Lottie nodded slowly in thought.

"good to know, see ya." Lottie signed, turning around before they could stop her, disappearing into the forest.

——————

Opening a new book with tea next to her had to be one of Lottie's favorite moments. Before it all, she enjoyed a book here and there, mostly watching the television or playing video games with her father before her mother got home.

But now, it was all Lottie did. Books were better than most movies or shows in her opinion. The way you could understand the emotions the character would feel rather than having to struggle as you try to figure out the displayed emotion on an actors face. Unless that was just a problem for Lottie.

Flipping the page, she tucked her bookmark in on the page as she stood up and walked to the kitchen to unload her bag. Climbing on top of the counters, she unloaded the cans into the cabinets she had removed the door of with her father's screw driver.

Sometimes she looked at all she had done and figured she was doing too much, but scenarios played in her mind such as a knock of the hand slamming the cabinet shut, a quick death. That made her shake her head, remembering to be safe than sorry.

When she had finished the last can, she moved her legs out from under her to get down, and everything was fine. Until it wasnt.

Lottie's eyes widened in panic as her back hit the ground, the wind getting knocked out of her. Along with the inability to breathe, she realized the fall had made a noise. A loud noise.

She scrambled to her feet, she ran out of the large opening in the living room, sprinting towards her neighbors house, jumping through the open window she had prepared.

Rushing up the stairs into a closet, she gasped for breath, clawing at her shirt as if that would help. Finally gaining the ability to breathe, it took everything in the small girl to not gasp for breath loudly, instead silently, but quickly, breathing in and out.

Hearing the loud crash from next door, she hit her hand against her head as a self punishment for being so stupid. Lottie had sat in the closet for what felt like hours, wanting anything else but to face the creature face to—no face..? Anyways, she didnt want to be near it.

When everything was completely silent once more, she gently opened the closet door. Walking down the steps, she thanked the gods above that no stairs made noise.

With a slow breath, she stepped outside the window, deciding not to bother using the front door. She faced the side of her house, turning her head as she decided to walk to the other side to see the damage that had been done.

Lottie had heard the way the monster crashed through her walls, and Lottie hoped that it was still liveable.

She breathed out with closed eyes before turning the corner, her heart sinking to a bottomless pit in her body.

The entire wall was taken out, counters smashed and destroyed. She shook her head in disbelief, taking small steps forward as a tear rolled down her face.

She quickly put scenarios in her head to make up reasons why she could keep living at her home, but they all ended in tragedy. The main two being; Put a tarp up, too loud, death. Keep the hole in the wall and ignore it, the breeze feels nice, rain catches that breeze, blowing onto the open wood and growing mold, making it unlivable once more.

Lottie stood in disbelief, digging her hands into her eyes. Stupid. Is what she had called herself. Stupid stupid stupid. Tears rolled down her cheeks when she removed her palms from her eyes.

Turning her head to look south, debating the decision. With a rough hand, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and grabbed her old backpack, packing her things.

As she placed things in the bag, she paused, furrowing her eyebrows. Would they even take her? The thought racing through her mind.

Shaking her head, she realized it wasnt a big deal. if they didnt want her, she would simply find a new place. Maybe she would go house shopping for free, finding a nice big house without a dreaded hole in the wall.

All her hard work. The thought made her lip quiver, tears threatening to spill. She shook her head furiously, clenching her jaw. The sadness and disappointment quickly turning into anger. Anger for the world now, anger for the silence that now filled everyones ears and mind, and anger for herself. And she couldn't help but feel the slightest bit of anger for her parents.

Shrugging the bag over her shoulder, she took off on her journey. She once again found the path the family was caught walking, watching her step for any noise triggers.

She looked up, taking in the large area. The long fields with the large house in the middle. Mountains stretched behind the house, and Lottie took in the scene with admiration.

Breathing deeply, she walked across the long field to the house. As she stepped onto the porch, she had just then realized she had no way to signal the family she was there. Looking around at the porch with a frustrated look on her face, she saw a small light switch.

Chewing on her lip, she carefully turned it on, seeing a faint light through the available windows. Waiting patiently, the door opened slowly, revealing the mother.

At the confused and concerned look on her face, Lottie raised her hands.

"i screwed up."