❞Have you been smoking grass?❞

AFTER SPENDING, an unmeasurable amount of time in a swirling vortex, screaming and panicking, the ground appears under her feet, rudely telling her to calm the fuck down, leaving her sitting on a lighted platform with her ass hurting and head spinning. Her hands drop from the sides of her head as she realizes she is not in New York anymore; she can tell from the sudden absence of aliens begging for an ass-kicking.

She finds herself in a cave, instead.

Worriedly, she looks down at her hands, breathing a sigh of relief when she finds them solid and opaque, no longer translucent. The rubble on her shoulders and sticky alien blood dripping down her elbow make her cringe and aware that New York wasn't a hallucination. She taps her comm, but there is no whiny feedback and no way of communicating with her father.

" — Who are you?"

Her gaze follows the voice, finding a group of people, tall and looming, dressed like quacks with their weapons aimed at her. Bows, arrows, guns, crazy-looking boomerangs — you name it, these weirdos have it. 

"Who the fuck are you guys?" Alex's mouth practically drops open.

"Hey, we asked first!" A man dressed like a tampon on a heavy day snaps, folding his arms to his chest defensively.

"I'm Alex Stark, Hellfire," She interrupts herself with a groan as she gets up from the floor, brushing off the rubble and pushing a hand through her hair. She fixes them with a confident smile, "You've probably seen me on TV, crime-fighting, being fabulous, the family business."

The man dressed like a bat — bat guy, if you will — takes a step closer to her, tense and ready to throw hands, maybe even shurikens, "If you're a vigilante why haven't we seen you around?"

There's a lot for Alex to unpack in that statement itself, but she prefers to focus on the glaring issue, "Hero's the better term for it, isn't it?"

"Not according to the police," The Robin Hood look-a-like mutters under his breath.

"The police? Those bozos?" Her confusion increases tenfold, "They idolize us, we're their superheroes, not vigilantes, not —"

"Criminals?" Tampon-guy cuts her off, answering her question in one breath and a matter-of-fact tone, "Well, vigilantism — the whole kicking ass, taking names thing — is a crime."

Her eyebrows furrow as her mind begins running a mile a minute. Bat-guy speaks in a tone that screams for a lozenge or a cough syrup cocktail, "Where do you normally operate, Alex?"

She looks at him with wide eyes, "Around the whole damn world. Look, man, I'm an Avenger, wherever and whenever a bad guy springs up, we beat him up."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, first of all, who the hell are the Avengers?" Alex's eyes practically bug out of her skull at Tampon-Guy's words, "And second of all, Avengers? Really?"

"Who are the Avengers? You're kidding, right? Dude! We're it, we're superheroes! Hell, we're the people fighting the aliens invading New York!" She throws her hands up in exasperation and a subtle tone of panic, "Speaking of which, shouldn't you guys be helping with that?"

A new man joins the conversation, dressed in red and blue, a cape hanging from his ginormous shoulders and an 'S' on his chest, "Ma'am, New York is completely safe, no aliens are invading it."

She blinks, "Don't ma'am me, dude! What the fuck do you mean New York's safe? I was just there! The Chitauri were swarming the damn city while Loki did his stupid magic voodoo to become ruler of all seven realms!"

"Have you been smoking grass?"

Bat-guy sends the Robin Hood look-a-like a disappointed squint, to which the green pixie man responds with an offended shrug, before turning to Alex, "Loki, like the Norse god of mischief?"

"I mean... yeah," Alex knows how she must sound, but the truth is the truth, no matter how much of a fent addict you may sound, "Thor's pain in the ass brother with an unhealthy obsession with a glowing blue box."

"Glowing blue box?"

"Gods don't exist," A woman — who looks fucking gorgeous, by the way — with dark hair, golden eyes, and a golden headband to match, speaks.

Alex is shocked she can form coherent thoughts, let alone sentences after being assaulted by the woman's beauty, "But, I shared my gummy worms with Thor less than 24 hours ago."

"And some jazz cabbage, if you catch my meaning." The Pixie-guy sends an exaggerated wink Alex's way and she scowls.

"I'm not high, dude!"

"And, I'm not a billionaire!" Pixie-guy exclaims, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief.

Tampon-guy mumbles under his breath, a little confused, not expecting to be heard, "But, you aren't...?"

Pixie-guy glares at his so-called best friend while Bat-guy extends his hand, a hologram floating above his wrist, and Alex sees New York, safe and secure, totally not in tatters thanks to Odin's bang-up job as a parent.

"That's New York, alien-free and safe, there are no superheroes named the Avengers there," Alex's eyes widen further, "And there is no Stark Tower, no structure by that name has ever existed in this world. So, now, whoever you are, I want to know how you got into the League's headquarters."

"I told you! I'm Alexandra Stark, I'm — I'm Hellfire, a superhero."

"The jig is up," Bat-guy tells her sternly, watching as her hands dart to her clothes, reaching into her pockets. He stiffens, hands reaching for his concealed weapons.

She notices, and huffs, despite the panic swimming in her gut, "It's just my phone."

He opens his mouth to say something further, but she beats him to the punch, pulling up a picture of her father and her, showing it to them, "You're telling me you don't know who that man is?"

All of them look clueless.

A guy dressed in green with a glowing symbol in the middle of his chest offers consolation, "He looks like an asshole."

To which, Pixie-guy responds quickly, "Look who's talking, Jordan."

Bat-guy sends him a glare for mentioning Lantern-guy's last name, but Alex is occupied with the matter at hand, "But, that's my dad, that's Tony Stark, billionaire, philanthropist, genius — he's Ironman!"

"Kid, there's no one by that name in this universe!" Pixie-guy throws his hands up in exasperation.

Alex pauses, mind-buffering for a moment. Pixie-guy and Tampon-guy exchange a glance of worry while Bat-guy watches her in suspicion. Alex slaps a hand over her mouth, in awe and frustration, "Fuck! Fucking hell, I should've known, god-fucking-damnit!"

Pixie-guy mumbles to Tampon-guy, "I'm kind of scared."

She holds her hands out in front of her, assuring the spandex-wearing group vehemently, "I swear, I'm not some nutcase, but just hear me out — is any of you a scientist?"

Tampon-guy puts a hand in the air, "Here!"

*

" — I think I'm gonna pee my pants!"

"I pity the janitor," The Robin Hood look-a-like, AKA Oliver Queen, the multi-millionaire tycoon, formerly billionaire (before Wayne Industries acquired some of his most expensive islands), mutters, folding his arms to his chest as he pops another cheese puff in his mouth.

"This is so cool, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!" Barry talks a mile a minute, zipping around Alex who sits on a gurney, legs swinging as she chews on licorice. Her face is clean and free of rubble, the same, however, cannot be said about her folded-up Hellfire jacket and the black shirt she is wearing. Barry appears right in front of Alex, who chokes on a piece of licorice, "You are so fucking cool!"

Hacking up a lung, Alex manages her most flattering grin, "Guilty as — hack!  — charged! I am — koff, koff! — fucking cool!"

"And very humble, apparently," Oliver snorts to which Alex responds with a middle finger.

"You know, I never thought I'd meet someone from a different multiverse under these circumstances, I mean, sure, I've created my fair share of multiverses but I haven't met someone from an entirely different universe whose universe I haven't had any hand in creating. But, anyway, what's it like over there?" Alex catches about 45% of whatever Barry's rambling about. She's about to gather up an answer based on context when he gasps, "What about my alternate self in your universe? Am I a scientist there too? Or an actor?"

Alex frowns in thought, "Come to think of it, there is an actor — "

"Sharing information between multiverses is dangerous," Bat-guy, AKA Bruce Wayne, the multi-billionaire tycoon, with not only a permanent frown on his cowl but one on his face as well, says, "We don't know how this simple exchange might affect the entire universe."

Barry deflates while Alex rolls her eyes, "Alright, jeez, no sharing information. Should I tape my eyes shut, just in case?"

"Your eyes? No. Your mouth... well." Oliver ducks with a laugh as a piece of licorice goes flying past his head. 

Bruce rolls his eyes, folding his arms to his chest tiredly, "Have you finished examining her?"

"Just about. I'm running her DNA through the database to see if her our-universe self is out there, or if her her-universe persona absorbed into her our-universe self. Which is what should happen according to the multiverse theory, and if it is —"

"Barry." Bruce needs a vat of coffee (not just any coffee, but a caramel macchiato, with 10+ pumps of espresso and 4 packets of sugar on top; Barry's special recipe) to keep up with the hyperactive speedster.

Barry flushes, scratching the back of his neck, "Sorry. I mean... yeah, she's fit as a fiddle, there's nothing wrong with her on an atomic level."

"Neat!" Alex cheers, waving around a stick of licorice in celebration.

"Alright," Bruce sighs, deeply exhausted by the prospect of having to deal with any more people, but alas, such is the life of a vigilante with two kids at home to take care of, and countless more at work. He glances at Alex and Oliver, "Let's go."

He starts walking without waiting, Alex blinks, shrugs, and then follows him, while Oliver splutters, fumbling his cheesy puff packet, "Woah, woah, Brucie, why me? Take Barry along, he's raring to go!"

"Exactly," Bruce informs him over his shoulder and Alex turns around to stick out her tongue at Oliver who flips her off, grumbling and cursing under his breath as he stalks after them while Barry waves them goodbye, disappointed; but he regains his shine when a machine on his right beeps. 

"Watch it, kid." Oliver sneers.

"Don't break a hip, old man." Alex rolls her eyes. 

*

She has been making slow progress with Bruce, she has cracked numerous jokes (all of which were received with a small unbothered shake of the head), and she has called him numerous nicknames — Bats, Dracula, or, Oliver's very own, Brucie — but all she has gotten is an annoyed groan... so, baby steps.

Instead of despairing over not cracking Bruce Wayne, she turns her gaze to the Justice League cave — which, as it turns out, is not the League's cave but their younger counterparts, the Young Justice team. The cave is just a glorified bomb shelter, except for the high-tech screens and awesome internet. 

" — Agh! Does the suit come equipped with the muscles?" She groans, rubbing her nose as she glares at Bruce who just rolls his eyes, looking at her like she's a fly that bumped into him, while Oliver grins, patting her back. She has decided that despite Oliver's grumbling and teasing, she likes him, he reminds her of Clint with connotations to her father. 

Bruce taps away on the access pad before him and Alex peeks over his shoulder but he notices and covers it with his other hand and she huffs, rolling her eyes. Beep! Beep! Beep! Whoosh! The door slides open and Bruce enters with Alex and Oliver trailing behind him.

The room is sleek and distinctly not cave-like. There's a circular table in the room, facing a large wall of screens with a computer pad jutting out from it. Bruce goes over to the computer pad while Alex and Oliver sit down on opposite ends of the table, sending each other dirty glances, "Unfortunately, we don't have any way of sending you back immediately —"

She narrows her eyes at him, "Unfortunately? I think you mean, thankfully. You should be glad you're stuck with me."

"Not everyone has shit taste like you, kid."

She glares at Oliver while Bruce rolls his eyes for the nth time, "Anyway, since we can't send  you back, Barry's using your blood sample to find your file in our world while we decide what to do with you."

"Are you going to kill me?"

"I might," Oliver announces and Bruce wants to kill himself, maybe even take Oliver down with him.

"No," He says, giving Oliver a stern glare before turning to Alex, "We need to figure out the housing situation, we can't let you live on the streets —"

" — Sadly." Oliver hums and Alex flips him off.

" — And we must figure out the superhero situation. Given your age, you should join the Young Justice team, but seeing as you don't have a senior superhero working with you, you can, technically, be put in the Justice League. But I don't recommend it, since you're just a kid."

"I've fought aliens, dude."

"Right, and could you tell us again how that fight ended?" Oliver asks, perching his chin on his hand, smiling at her serenely, "Oh, that's right! You got sucked up into a magical portal and dropped into our laps!"

Alex's face sours and she leans back into the chair, pulling out a pair of glasses she's been fiddling around with since last summer and placing them on her face. She flips Oliver off with both hands and the old man's serene smile sharpens mischievously. 

She resists the urge to smile back, preferring to watch as the A.I. she downloaded onto the specs, E.L.A.R.A, comes online. Stealthily, she taps the side of the specs, turning on silent mode. Words appear in the air before her, Good morning, Ms. Stark. What can I do to help you?

She taps the side of the glasses again, typing out the words, Hack into this cave's main computer system, flag all identity files, using Morse code. 

"It would be best for you to join the Young Justice team, getting you accustomed to this universe is important, and after you've done that, we can indict you into the League."

"So... basically, I'm not a sidekick but I'm on a team of sidekicks?"

"They are not sidekicks," Bruce tells her, having learned his lesson after someone screamed at him about it. 

"Plus, no one'd want you as a sidekick, kid."

"Is it your hobby to argue with children or just a bad habit?"

"Bad habit." He winked and she saw a sliver of her father in his expression. Just cockier, more guarded, and definitely more dangerous.

Bruce continues, "We can find you a mentor, you won't be able to learn everything you need to know from your peers in the Young Justice team."

"Yeah, they're a bunch of chuckleheads with low impulse control, and now common sense," Oliver mutters.

Bruce eyes him, Look who's talking. Alex notices and stifles a chuckle, "So, who's gonna mentor me?"

"It's your choice," Bruce says before Oliver can butt in, the blonde man glares at the brunette who just stares back impassively, "It also depends on who your mentor was before... this. And if you didn't have a mentor, then I'd suggest someone like your father, someone who fits his personality best."

"Yeah, earlier you said something like billionaire, playboy... something, something, right kid?" Oliver raises an eyebrow and she nods, he grins suavely, "Dare I say, I think I'm just who you're looking for~!"

Alex blinks, "But, you're not a billionaire."

Bruce covers up his laugh with a cough and Oliver glares at both of them, "I am! Goddamn it, I am!"

Ms. Stark, all identity files have been flagged. The words interrupt her field of vision as Oliver turns to Bruce, arms folded to his chest and a scowl on his face, "So what? You're the perfect fit for her mentor since you're a billionaire?"

"I'm not a playboy."

Oliver raises a tall eyebrow.

Bruce growls, "Fine. I'm not a genius, alright?"

The blonde shrugs, "Yeah, alright, that checks out. But if not me or you, then who? We don't have any other rich people, everyone else is dirt poor or not human."

"We'll worry about that later, first we need to make a fake file for her in this world,"

"That still doesn't make sense," Alex mutters, "According to the theory all of us are supposed to exist in each universe, which means that in this universe there's supposed to be a version of me that exists."

"So what? You're an anomaly kid, Barry and you can obsess over this later, but first —"

"Oh my god." Alex's eyes widen as her mind starts running again. Bruce and Oliver share a miserable glance as she jumps up from her seat, bouncing in excitement, "Oh my god!"

"Ugh, what now?"

"E.L.A.R.A, have you accessed the main computers?"

Affirmative, Ms. Stark. A dull voice rings out in her ears, vibrating through her earbone. 

"Access the displays of this room. Locate Alexandra Stark's file, please."

As you wish, Ms. Stark.

"Ok, so she's definitely high, right?" Oliver, perplexed, turns to Bruce who pinches the bridge of his nose. The screens in the room flicker and Bruce tenses, taking a step toward Alex, but before he can say anything, she turns to them.

"I have a theory!" She announces, placing her hands on her hips proudly.

"Oh great, she has a theory, hear that Bruce? This sky-high kid has a theory."

Alex and Bruce pay Oliver no attention, she begins explaining, "If we factor in a few things like the proposed multiversal equation — the one that's in my universe, the one that can be used to travel the multiverse if we have the power of a black star —  then we know that when two versions of the same person from two different universes meet... their conscious' get overlapped."

There's a momentary silence. Oliver, predictably, is the first to break it.

"So you absorbed the version of you that existed here?" At Alex's nod, he turns pale, "That's freaky."

"If you did absorb another version of yourself, do you have any memories of your other self?"

Alex shakes her head, "No, no see, the two different versions of the same person, they meet in one of those versions' home ground, the one that comes from a different universe, that's me, absorbs the other. The prevalent conscious is the one that comes from a different universe, this process is fast but it takes time for the rest of the universe to settle into place..."

"When everything settles, we're gonna forget meeting you in the cave?" Oliver prompts.

"No," Alex grins, "Because when I met you guys in the cave I altered your consciousness, so you'll be aware that I'm not from this universe, but the rest of the world won't."

"So, you mean that when everything settles —"

The screens in the room flicker, the display going white with an image in the top right corner. Oliver breathes in awe as he reads the name at the top of the screen, " — Alexandra Stark will come into existence."

Bruce, though stupefied by the file, is more concerned with other pressing matters like — "Did you just hack into the cave's systems using your specs?"

"A.I. glasses, get with the times, old