𝟎𝟐𝟓,
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍: 𝗐𝗈𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗐𝗁𝗒 𝖻𝗒 red stray clays

𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐢'𝐬 𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰

I've never spent a birthday without my parents, and I don't plan on stopping now. My 19th birthday is five days and a trip back home was much needed.

No sweet tea hit like home.
No food hit like home.
No bed hit like home.
No place filled the comfort like home.

Nothing compared the feeling of home, it didn't matter where you lived because home was always home.

I couldn't wait to get back to the south which was crazy because when I was there I couldn't wait to leave. Everything here at USC was straight all my assignments were done and i had no classes to attend; so I'll be school stressed free.

"baby youn gotta go home for no good home cooked meal, i can make it right here just tell me all the ingredients and shit and boom home AND cooked", Juju whines. "you can't cook ju", I say stuffing my clothes into my suitcase folding them neatly to make it all fit.

Every turn I turned my back to grab a piece of clothing, Ju would go behind my back and take something out. I smack my hand as I catch her pulling my shirt out, "STOP", I yell and she groans.

"I don't want you to leaveeeee, it's gone feel like foreverrrr", she throws her head back flopping on the bed. "stop being dramatic, it's only for the weekend", I scold her packing a few more things.

She sighed picking her head back up, "you don't sound like you gone miss me, lemme found out", she said and i laughed a bit throwing my head back at her. "let you found out what?", i tease her taking a seat beside her on the bed.

"lemme find out you got a lil boo back home", Ju said in a joking manner but from looks on her face i couldn't tell if she was serious or not. "i dont, and i will miss you but i miss home", I assure her wrapping my arm around her torso snuggling into her chest.

Ju hums, "i know you miss home and im not tripping for real, i know much you miss home and you dont wanna spend your birthday without your parents", she says and i nod in agreement.

"did your parents ever do like a birthday tradition for you?", Ju asks growing comfortable at our embrace hugging me tighter into her. "yeah, my mama made these birthday plates for the whole family so that morning when you woke up you'll have breakfast on your birthday plate... it wasn't like nun big but i always liked it", I tell Judea.

She smiles softly, "that's cute, what your plate look like?", she asked me. "it's likeeee, it's like a rainbow on the top of the plate and at the bottom it's mani lu with lil gold coins surrounding name".

"ah she already knew what it was huh", Judea joked and i laughed at her. "pretty much", I joined in with her. "Well, now i feel like we have to make an tradition", she mentions.

I shuffle out of her hold looking at her, "like what?", I ask and she shrugs. "i dont know, we'll have to come up with an idea". I turn my attention back to my suitcase and back at her.

"Come with me", i say.

Judea looks at me almost if i grew two heads on my shoulders, "You want me to come home with you to Georgia?", She asks and I nod my head. "Only if you feel comfortable but think about it i can be our tradition or whatever....", I trail.

It was a lil crazy for me to asking my girlfriend that's lived in California all her life to travel with me back home to Georgia who haven't stepped a pinky into it.

"Okay", is all she says shrugging her shoulders like it was nothing. "I mean it's crazy but okay... it's not like I have nothing planned this weekend", Judea considers the idea.

A smile creeps on my face, "you sure? this ain't no Southern California, this is just straight southern". "Yes baby I'm sure, I'll come with you", Judea says. So that was that, Judea was coming back home to Georgia with me.

I don't think the idea really hit Judea until we landed in atl aiport, the confidence and the excitement she had from packing, the day before and all throughout the plane ride had vanished.

"you okay?", I ask her worried, fear that i might have pushed this stupid idea on her and now it was too late to take it back. she only nods her head in response stuffing her hands into the pockets of her sweatpants while we wait for our luggage.

a uncomfortable shift washes over me because if judea wasn't comfortable then how could i be, i didn't want to push it any further so i started to focus on other things.

biting the inside of my cheeks tapping my pointer finger across my folded arms impatiently waiting for our luggage, the crowded area and the noise didn't help smooth my nerves as much.

finally our bags came and i didn't waste no time pushing past strangers to grab them, "here", i say to ju as i hand her the black suitcase that belonged to her. "thank you", she mumbles.

her whole demeanor had changed and i didn't know how to fix it, maybe her coming here was a bad idea but her not feeling comfortable here hurt me little because this was my home.

"lets go, my parents are already outside waiting for us", i tell her and she nods her head following behind me as we exit the airport.

my ma and pa greet us with excitement hugging us tight with big smiles on their faces, "i can't believe my little girl got you all down here", my pa says chucking at the thought.

judea chuckles along with him but it's faint, "me either, but im happy to be here", she says firmly shaking her hands with him and then giving my ma a nice warm hug.

"you okay lil guh, you was so happy on the phone but now you here and look like you done seen a ghost", my ma says wrapping me into her hugging me tight.

im happy or at least i was but i couldn't help but pick judea brain, "im sorry ma, i am happy just a lil jet lag", i lie and she hums placing a kiss onto my cheek. "well lets get yall home so yall can rest up for supper".

when we made it home, my ma and pa backed off us a little bit allowing us to settle in before dinner. "you okay?", i ask judea again but it sounded more like i was asking myself the same question.

ju stopped her digging through her suitcase and looked over at me, i sat the end of the bed criss cross applesauce with my hands in my lap fiddling with my thumbs moving them in a circular motion.

"yeah im fine, you?", she returns the question. i turn my lips to the side and nod my head, "i think so, i was so happy to come back home and you seemed excited to but when we made it to the airport... it's like you did a whole 360," i tell her.

in therapy, my therapist told me that it was better to talk about feelings while their still happening instead of bottling them up till the point where i snap and i wasnt sure if it was working but now was worth the try.

judea lets out a soft sigh walking move taking a seat on the bed across from me, "is this a bad idea?", i ask her. "i am happy to be here and im sorry i steered you wrong... its just when we made it to the airport it finally kinda hit me", she says.

"what? what hit you?", i asked her wanting her to elaborate more. "that we're moving on to the next step mani", she grabs my hands into hers as she looks at me. "but you seemed so uncomfortable and off and i didn't like it... is moving to the next step a bad thing?", i say.

she shakes her head, "no, this is just my first real relationship and im doing things stepping out of my comfort zone and it feels good because i know im doing it for somebody i love", she assures me.

"so you're okay?", i ask once more and she laughs a bit, "yes baby im okay, im more than okay... you?", she once again returns the question and i nod my my head with a big smile.

ju leans into my resting her forehead onto mines looking me in the eyes, "i love you", her voice soft but filled with love. "i love you Ju", i smile at her giving her a soft kiss on the lips.

after a nice shower and a long nap, ju and i made it downstairs for dinner. ma was standing by the stove wrapped in her apron while da fixed the table.

"there go the sleepy bugs", he says as we come down the last step into the kitchen. "how'd yall sleep? alright?", he ask and i nod at him while ju replies with an "yes sir".

ma undos her apron and walks over at the table, "im glad yall sleep good but yall should've waited because this food finna put yall right back to sleep", she says and i laugh because she right.

"what you cooked ma?", i asked her walking over to the stove lifting the covers off the pots but she smack my hand in return. "don't be playing over my food nie", she scolded me.

i roll my eyes playfully, "but i made some collard greens, roast, roasted potatoes and i put some bread in the oven". i looked over at judea smirking because this was finna be her first southern meal. "well let's hurry say prayer and get eating, ain't no point of letting the food get cold", da say.

we say prayer and wash our hands before we start making our plates, ma fixes da plate and i fix ju her plate and then we fix our own sitting down at the table.

i hovered my fork over my food more focused on how ju will react to the food, she tastes the greens first nodding her pointing her fork at the food and she continues to do that for everything she tastes before she looks at my mama.

"miss brown this is toooo good, what you put in here?", Ju asked with her mouth still filled with food. my mama laughed, "my foot chile", she say and ju pauses turning her eyes up at my ma.

i laugh loudly along with my pa, "don't scare that girl nie, you know she don't know what that mean", daddy says to ma. my mama covers her mouth, "oops my bad".

"what it mean", Ju asked wiping her mouth with a napkin. "it means the food is good, when somebody say you put yo foot in this... it's an exaggeration", i tell Ju and she lets out an series of ohhhh.

we continue to eat dinner sharing conversations around the table, when we finish ma and da rest on the couch while me and ju clean up the kitchen.

"so now you see what im talking about", i say rinsing the dishes handing them to ju to place them on the rack. "hell yeah, almost wanted to eat the whole house after that first plate", she says and i laugh at her. "i sure couldn't make no food like that for you back at usc even if i tried", she goes on.

i hum at her, "thank you for coming, i know you didn't have to but you did", drying my hands off with a towel. "of course, any place with you is home really", she says and i smile at her.

ouuuu she always knew what to say and how to say it.

i walk over to her pulling her into a hug resting my head on her chest, she snuggles into my rubbing her hand up and down my back. "tomorrow when you wake it'll be your birthday", she reminds me.

"i knowwww", i squeal a bit and she giggles. "this will the first birthday we've spent together since we were like 12?", she mentions and i nod my head, "sum like that".

she sneaks a kiss onto my forehead, "and now we'll be spending them together forever", she whispers into my ear before traveling her lips down to my neck placing a soft delicate kiss there.

"forever", i repeat and she hums, "see you get it".