Tw: Description of Panic Attack

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"Gyomei, may you pass the tea?" Amane inquired, her gentle eyes staring into Gyomei's empty ones. The halfling simply stood in her usual spot, against the garden wall, spear in hand, guarding the three being inside the room, the occasional cough falling from Kagaya's lips.

Gyomei simply nodded, his hand reaching out to the sound of Amanes hand, a kettle in hand. The woman gratefully accepted it before pouring the hot liquid into multiple cups beside her. She looked up to the halfling at the door. "Would you like some tea, (Y/N)?"

The woman didn't look away from her position, staring out into the gardens. "I'll be alright, thank you, however." (B/n) suddenly flew off the halfling's shoulder and glided over to Amane, its head flashing between the tea and the woman. The halfling smiled. "Although, if you poured some for them, that would be appreciated.."

The bird sung with joy, nodding it's head up and down. Amane chuckled at this, gently nodding as she reached for a small bowl. "I doubt that would be an issue."

It had been seven months since Genya had been sent off to the Swordsmith village, and the halfling found the mask crafted by the village chief, does, in fact, work. Very well, in fact.

She had found Sanemi a few days later to try it out, and when he cut his arm in an attempt to win, the woman, who wore the mask, didn't smell a thing. Her senses were perfectly intact, and, in fact, they almost seemed better, considering one of her senses was being blocked out.
For once, that match had a Victor, and it wasn't Sanemi.

She had also been practising with her new knuckle guards she had received at the same time as the mask. To say they were perfect was an understatement. The pointed edges, the curves of the metal, the weight...it was all perfectly balanced to the point the woman was in disbelief for some time.

She even had them on now, her spear held at her side like always, but her guards on her knuckles, almost weightless, but just the right amount of weight to remind you it's dangerous if used wrong. It was still a weapon at the end of the day, and it still held its risks.

It was also known that the trio of Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu had all awoken from their sleep. Unfortunately, she hadn't had the time to visit them. With her exhaustion rising, her to-do list filled, and the world around her throwing new things onto her shoulders everyday, she had no time to even consider that.

Zenitsu had been sent on a mission with other slayers kicking and screaming to not let him go on the mission, Inosuke had been sent on many smaller missions to help him regain his strength, and Tanjiro had gone to swordsmith village with Nezuko since his sword had broken in the fight in the Red Light District.

She was going to be the one to send him off to the village, but with her work building up and the constant desires of other people wishing to train with her, a kakushi had been the one to take him to the first checkpoint.

"It is pleasing to know the progress made within the corps." Gyomei spoke, being kindly handed a cup of warm tea, which he grabbed and held gently in his palms.

There was a hum from Kagaya, who was wrapped in bandages and covered with cushions around his bedding. "It is..very reassuring.." His voice spoke out, everyone becoming silent to hear his words.

Amane simply poured some tea into the bowl and allowed the small Robin to dip its head into the tea and drink with a happy chirp. "Now, Master, what is it you called me here?" Gyomei inquired, the halfling ears picking up on this.

Amane spoke for the weaker man. "We called you two here to speak of the future plans." The halfling blinked, turning to the scene, the woman already looking at her, meeting her eye. "Yes, that means you and Gyomei-san."

The halfling nodded, turning to move towards the three, sitting on her knees and laying the spear beside her. She nodded her head in respect, her hands flat on her lap.

"First things first; Muzan is aware of (Y/N)'s survival, and I have no doubt he is in the process of searching for her at this very moment."

The halfling blinked, lips parting in surprise. She was about to speak up about the topic, but Amane interrupted her. "He left you alive last time. I doubt he knew of your survival and so he planned to keep you captive until he knew what he was to do." Amane met her eye, the Robin beside her tilting its head. "We cannot put your safety at risk, and so, you will remain here until further notice. I have sent a message to the chief of the Swordsmith Village and he understands you will remain here for however long it takes. This also includes not being permitted to turn into a demon in the fear of Muzan locating you though that method."

"But, Amane-sama-" The halfling was interrupted when Kagaya weakly reached to grip her hand, her eyes snapping to the weak man as he held her hand in a weak hold. "Kagaya.."

He didn't say a word- likely unable to- and so, Amane spoke instead. "We know it may be restricting, and we understand that you may not agree to this...but if Kibutsuji gets a grasp on you, he will not let go. He will use you against us and you will likely die a horrible death." Amane explained, the halflings' lips pursing as she gripped Kagayas hand.

Gyomei nodded in agreement, his booming voice growing as he spoke every word. "I agree with Oyakata-sama. It will only cause more problems if that man finds you." He took a breath before he continued, looking at the halfling as if he could see. "And do not forget this is an order. You made a vow to obey every one set by Oyakata-sama."

The halfling only looked down, contradiction in her eyes and annoyance on her features. "....I know..."

"And so, you will obey our orders?"

"...yes."

Amane nodded at her before turning back ti Gyomei, taking note of the way the halfling hung her head in annoyance, no doubt holding her tongue. "With the retirement of Tengen Uzui, the sound Hashira, there are officially two hashira spots ready for taking, leaving the Pillars incomplete even more so than before." They glanced up at the woman, brows furrowing. "To replace this, Kagaya feels we should welcome the idea of potential training, allowing less experienced slayers to welcome more experience and strength."

Gyomei and (Y/N) listened intently, Gyomei hearing out the duo as the woman looked away slightly, brows furrowing. "Ofcourse, it must go through processing and the agreement of the Hashira, but with the upcoming threat of Muzan growing day by day, we think it may be placed into line depending on the amount of attacks by the upper moons reported."

"If we were to put it into action, I have no doubt Iguro-san and Shinazugawa-san will use it as an excuse to beat up lower ranks.." the halfling spoke out, Amane letting out a small chuckle at her truthful words. "How are we to know what could happen if someone were to refuse them? For example, Tanjiro-san."

Amane tilted her head, Gyomei furrowing his brows at the woman's words as she continued. "He is a strong willed boy. I have k doubt he will cause a problem if an opportunity were to arise. Especially with Shinazugawa-san, seeing how he stabbed Nezuko and Tanjiro-san retaliated." She looked down to her lap, the Robin still drinking from the small bowl. "How are we to know that others will not retaliate if one retaliation influences them..."

Gyomei nodded in agreement, taking a sip of his tea before he spoke. "I agree. How are we to know people will not retaliate with the harshness of the training?" The halfling still held onto the man's hand, gently caressing it with her thumb.

"This is where (Y/N) comes in." The latter raised a brow, waiting for Amane to deliberate on the point. "She will be the one to watch over the hashira. And with her ability to sense trouble, I have no doubt she will not be up to the task." She finished, (b/n) jumping and gliding to land on the halflings shoulder.

She nodded, bowing her head in respect. "I understand. I will not allow any retaliation to go underway." The Robin looked up at her before it nodded alongside her excitedly.

"Then it is settled. Let's move on, shall we?"

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"Oh, (b/n), I'm exhausted...." The halfling huffed, strolling down the corridors of the Ubuyashiki estate, anged rising from the bottom of her stomach. "I can help them...I can fight those damn upper moons better than any of them can...!" She grumbled, fists clenching at her sides.

The Robin flew beside her, singing its gentle tune in an attempt to calm her down, but she was exhausted and angry. "But I'm stuck here-again. I don't care if I die, that was practically in the job description!" She huffed, running a hand through her hair, her feet thudding against the ground of the estate.

(B/n) twitched its head to the side, flying to land on the woman's head, but in her fit of exhaustion, she attempted to swat it away. "I'm sorry, but not now..!" The bird cried off her head and decided to fly beside her again.

She gritted her teeth. She hadn't slept in days, everything kept piling on top of her like a ton of bricks, and she kept on having the Oyakata family use her oath against her- multiple times.

Yes, it was for her safety, and she knew it was for her own benefit, but to use an oath- which she swore on her life- against her in a way like that...it made her frustrated. It made her angry, and it made her want to do the opposite.

To grab her attention, (b/n) furrowed its brows, calling a battle cry before dashing towards the woman and swarming around her.

The halfling cried out in annoyance, attempting to swat away the bird, before she stepped back. She suddenly stumbled back, tripping over her own feet, the spear falling beside her.

When she fell back, she tried to reach out to stop the spear from colliding with the ground, her teeth grit, but unfortunately for the woman, (b/n) accidentally collided with the weapon, not thinking of where it went, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem was the fact that (b/n) collided with the button.

As she reached to grab it, the blade extended out, slashing down on her hand. The blade easily cut through her hand. It was only a second later that the woman's hand deattatched from her wrist and fell to the ground, blood soon pooling out onto the ground.

She gritted out a curse in pain, her other hand moving to cradle her lost one as she released a scoff. The Robin fell to the ground, releasing a small grunt in the process, but was able to shake its head and recover quickly.

It looked up, watching as blood spilled from the wound, and its eyes widened. It jumped to its feet, all before attempting to fly over to the woman, but she wasn't appreciative of this.

She gritted her teeth, rage spiralling through her gut before she swatted the bird away, and all of a sudden, patterns formed on her body, her demon form emitting from her rage. "GO AWAY!" She cried, sharp teeth shining in the hallway light.

The bird cried out in fear, flying back before she swatted it away and she stood to her feet, her hand unhealing and her eyes suddenly widening at what she just did.

She disobeyed orders and now-

*Buzz*

The familiar buzz of a biwa was heard.

They were waiting for her.

She opened her eyes, her heart stopping mid way, dread slowly creeping from her insides into her features. Her heart felt like it had clawed its way to her throat, seeing the all too familiar orange lights that produced a midas glow, the harsh panelled floors that once were stained with her blood, the patterned walls that seemed to move if you looked at them for too long..

All sound seemed foreign to her ears as a sudden ringing took over her hearing. Her eyes widened and her chest suddenly felt too small for her lungs. She felt as though a part of her had completely left her body. Her hands shaking at her sides. Her body became smaller, back to her human form as she began to pant for breath.

Her eyes scanned everywhere at a million miles a second. Dashing from the walls to the floor. To the lines between the ground, to the hued lights that would. In most cases, it would remind someone of comfort, but these ones...they brought anything but comfort.

She panted, falling back to lay against one of the walls for support, even though she was still sitting. She could feel herself reaching for her throat. Panting, her chest rising and falling faster and faster.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. No air made it to her lungs. Nothing would ever feel like it was allowing her to breathe. The world around her felt like it was blurring together. It felt as though she could only see through tunnel vision.

She panted, almost wheezing as she curled into a small ball. The ringing in her ears grew almost unbearable, her hands covering her ears to try and silence it. Nothing worked.

First person POV

"I....I c-can't.." It was from my lips, most of the blood, minus the slowly healing wound on the side of my face, but it continued to spill nonetheless. The bags under my eyes should have been enough evidence of exhaustion for that demon, but he ignored them, he simply didn't care, and worked me until my insides were begging me for sleep, until my body cried so much that it made blood leak past my lips effortlessly as I shook on the ground.

He scoffed, shaking his head as he glared down at me. "Is this really what a warrior should look like?" I tensed, unable to move my body, only able to feel the glare digging into the back of my skull. "I guess that man was right about you, after all. You're just a weakling." I could only whimper, closing my palms against my ears desperately.

"No...I-I just..." I tried to reason, but at this point, I was just trying to fool myself even more intowas a deeper spiral of disbelief and pain, one I would rather face than whatever this. "I-I just..."

"Come on, prove me wrong, then."

It was always those words over and over. She used to say them all the time, my mother. She always did want me to prove them all wrong, and look where it's gotten me...I'm useless, helpless, people less. I was ever so lonely, so filled with agony, so filled with what I could only describe as rage, rage I would never be able to release.

"Bu-"

"Do it. I saw your fighting spirit that day." The demon began, his fists clenching as I whimpered below him. "Are you trying to tell me it was some sort of roose? A one time thing?" He scoffed, shaking his head in disapproval. Akaza turned the other way, only turning his head so I could hear his words. "Perhaps you really are useless." That was all he said before his feet began to walk forward. "..Perhaps...that's why your mother got killed."

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Nobody's coming to save you. Get up.

I wasn't told that, not by Muzan, not my Akaza, not even by any of my siblings, who I haven't seen in years...no.

I told myself that.

I didn't have any choice. That was the only way I could ever continue on, that one painful, awful phrase that had to keep repeating through my mind, day in, day out.

I knew it to be true, even as the years passed and I began to grow up, it only became more prominent in my head, constantly repeating as though it was the only thing that mattered, and it was.

There was no one else to raise me, just me and Akaza, day in, day out. No one else was ever around, I hadn't seen any of my family in what- five years? By now, I was around fourteen, not even old enough to be considered a proper teenager or even an adult. To them, I was just still a kid. A kid no one, except Akaza, should concern themselves with.

A helpless little kid with no hope of freedom.

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I grunted, my fists clenched and my breaths radged with pain as I clenched my teeth shut. I wanted to scream until my lungs gave out, until everything inside me was dead and I had to start again. I wanted nothing more than this pain to go away, but that was easier said than done.

Akaza had been so busy teaching me combat and defence, he forgot all about this little thing he likes to call healing as a demon. It was only the other day he came to this conclusion, even after I finally managed to land a solid hit on him for the first time since I started this training thing.

He realised he had to snap me into place, and fast. I didn't know this at the time, but after this many years, it would be about the time Muzan came to check up on us, to make sure we had been disciplined and put into place to serve under him as powerful warriors none of us agreed to be in the first place, but that was just how it went.

Just like five years back, the only thing I could ever control here were the bandages I wrapped around my chest every morning, ones that, by now, were soaked with blood, and would need changing soon.

I gasped, crimson slipping past my lips as Akaza pressed his foot against my back, his teeth grit, my blood covering him from head to toe. "You know I don't like this, (Y/N), but you have to heal." He gave no more words, reeling his arm back before throwing his clenched fist down onto my back.

*Crack*

I cried, feeling the bones practically shatter on impact, his foot now pressing harder into the wound. My body was shaking, more than it had ever shaken before, even after all of that hellish training, and yet my body still found new extreme ways to express this little thing we call pain, even after all this time.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I shook my head, unable to form proper words. My mouth could only release small, barely audible, stutters, even as my lips trembled and my palms dug into the ground beneath mez shattering the wood of the infinity Fortress beneath my very fingernails.

I could feel the wound in my side closing up, but it was slow. So agonisingly slow it hurt even as it tried to free me from this pain. I wanted it all to be gone, for all of this pain to finally go away, for me to escape this place and live in solitude, to live freely and in the purest of peace only the gods could imagine.

Surely I deserved it?

"Come on, (Y/N)!" Another reel back of his arm, his foot digging deeper into my back as I clutched at the ground, unable to do anything else.

*Crack*

Another punch, but this time it was to my other side, the one that wasn't bleeding. But I was bleeding internally by now, especially after that hit that sent my bones to hell, as if they were never there to begin with.

Choking out a gasp, the floor cracked beneath my fingers, which held on for dear life as my body stung with