⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

"STOP IT! PLEASE, STOP IT!" Y/N yelled, standing between the two angry teenage boys - not that that was any help, given her ghostly body.

Her two worlds were colliding most violently, and it felt as though both were falling down around her. 

As much as she was attempting to put a barrier around her thoughts, control everything the way she 'should', the way she always did, memories of both Midoriya and Shoto were fighting in her mind.

They played like a movie, one scene replacing the next on a big screen, memories bringing love and pain and nostalgia and regret into a fight within her heart.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

"Ew! Your Quirk is for a villain - you're not going to be a Hero!"

Y/N was torn between crying and punching the person who'd said it, her chubby kindergartener hands curling into fists in her lap as she slumped in her chair, staring at the desk.

"Don't be mean! Y/L/N's Quirk is cooler than all of ours!" 

She raised her head, watching the defiant expression formed on the green-haired kid's face as he defended her.

"Thanks, Midoriya," she said quietly as the class dissipated to find something that would amuse the other six-year-olds more.

"I mean it, Y/L/N," he said, so seriously assuring, back then. "You're going to be a Hero."

"You're a good best friend."

"No, you're the best best friend!"

"No, you are!"

The two descended into giggles, laughing at each other and smiling so widely that Y/N had never forgotten the way it had felt to be that carefree and easy, once upon a time. 

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

Midoriya had been there for her, bringing so many good memories of her past life.

But any recollection of good times he brought was drowned out by the reminders of her death his mere presence brought her, in painful flashbacks and reminiscence. 

"Please, Y/L/N!" he yelled, his anger dropping for a moment as he desperately pleaded with her.

He'd grown up so much.

"You were my best friend, okay? I never got another best friend after you!" Midoriya was crying, she realised. In this moment, where she may as well have been hanging from one hand off a cliff, one life hiding at the lip of the rock, the other waiting in the drop below, he was still caring about her. "Y/L/N, don't let him make the decisions for you!"

Y/N turned to look at 'him', Shoto, who looked so conflicted and pained the emotions rapidly merged with her own. 

"She made the choice!" Shoto told Midoriya, flinging a hand to point in the ghost's direction. "And where were you when she needed you? When she was dying, where were you?!"

Y/N flinched - those words were sharper than knives, and hit far too close to home. No one had been there when she'd died, not really.

But Shoto had been there right after. Most importantly, she'd been there for him, a friendship and feelings so real it made her forget who, or what, she was.

Choose. Choose. Choose.

Both boys' voices echoed in her head, and she wanted to scream, dragged down into another memory.

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

"Y/N. Y/N. Y/N."

Just as the little ghost shook herself awake, floating into the air, she heard a small, embarrassed whisper.

"Never mind."

"I'm awake now," she said, loudly for the night, glad that she could speak at any volume she wanted. "What's wrong?"

Y/N floated forwards from the end of Shoto's bed where she curled up, most nights, like a cat. He was sitting upwards, rubbing his eyes.

"I can't sleep," he mumbled. "I just ... I keep ... I keep seeing Touya's face. Everywhere." 

His voice broke, disintegrating into quiet cries. "I miss him, Y/N."

Y/N extended her arms outwards, almost yelling out of frustration when her hands passed through his shoulders and he shivered. She settled for sitting in front of him, letting him cry all he needed.

"I'm sorry I can't help, Shoto," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"You're helping," he sniffled. "Just ... Just keep talking to me."

"Okay." Y/N inched closer, crossing her legs. "Here, I'll show you how my Quirk works and you can show me yours!"

She closed her eyes, the moonlight shining through tiny gaps in the blinds vanishing as some shadow blocked any light from entering the room. Shapes of human bodies began to shimmer in the air - made of white mist rather than Y/N's realistic form, each whispering in quite voices overlapping each other.

"These are all the people who have died in the past thirty seconds," the little girl explained, scarily calm for a kid talking about death. "I'll let them go now."

They vanished, and Shoto's mouth was hanging open wide with admiration. "Y/N. You're so cool."

"Thanks!" she giggled, acting like a kid again. "Show me yours, show me yours!"

Shoto held out his right hand, making three beautiful snowflakes that weaved around each other just above his palm. He then presented his left hand, a tiny flame sprouting and dancing in midair. Y/N inched closer, entranced by the fire, extending her hand to touch it-

"Ow!" she hissed. "How does it still hurt? I'm literally dead."

Shoto laughed as she stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked, frowning. 

He may or may not have forgotten about the flame in his hand, and, with his strong emotion of happiness, it expanded, setting fire to his bedsheets.

Both children let out a loud scream as Shoto smothered the flame with his ice, the noise degrading into quieter cackles as they held their hands to their chests, feeling their racing heartbeats.

"Shoto? Sho, are you okay?"

They froze at the sound Fuyumi's voice at the door as he told his sister he was fine, both returning to giggling when she mumbled "okay" and walked away.

"Thanks, Y/N. You make everything better."

≻───── ⋆✩⋆ ─────≺

Y/N might have been dead, but she still felt her emotions so excruciatingly clearly. She felt every second, every heartbeat, of the pain ripping through her intangible body as Shoto and Midoriya both took fighting stances.

"Please, Y/N," Midoriya yelled, over the roaring in her ears. "You're my friend."

"Stop it!" she called, directing this call mostly at Shoto, fully aware of how powerful he was. "Stop this."

He obeyed, dropping his hands.

Y/N turned to Midoriya, taking a very painful breath in as she forced herself to tell the truth. "I'm sorry, Mi- Izuzu, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have used Shoto as a middleman. Let's talk about this."

Both boys nodded, and Y/N felt relief sweep over her.

"Sit down with me. We have a lot to talk over."

⊱ ──────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ────── ⊰

thank you for reading this
book and i hope you enjoy it!
~ jazzi