𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘

"𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒚 𝒊𝒔... 𝒚𝒐𝒖."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒 that had plagued the Bridgertons came to light and now everything seemed to be going back to normal. Anthony was living happily with Kate Sharma instead of Edwina, Daphne was back with the Duke and her child at Clyvedon Castle and everyone else was settling down from the busy season.

Everyone, but Eloise. She had not spoken to Penelope since she had found out about her being Lady Whistledown, though she had not told anyone either. Her mind had calmed since that night and she took it as her best interest to stay out of anymore scandal.

Though there was always one person one the forefront of her mind, no matter how much she tried to shake her out of it. Maria Sharpe. It was always her and though she hated her more than she hated anyone else for lying and breaking her heart, she could not stop how she felt about the girl.

Her golden, brown eyes, shiny brunette hair, a smile that could light up a thousand suns. She wanted to see her again, but she would not allow herself to permit the other girl that pleasure. She did not deserve it.

She tried to fall asleep a month after her last visit to the Sharpe girl, but the conversation flooded her brain and would not let her escape to her unconscious mind. So, she found herself getting out of bed, putting on some shoes and sneaking out to the swings that hung from the tree in the back garden.

The moon was bright overheard and the stars winked at her, making her want nothing but to start a new life out there. In the empty nothingness of the sky where no one else lived, where she would not be judged on every little mistake or detail.

And even then, she could not stop herself from wishing that Maria would come along with her on that journey. It started to infuriate her and she stamped her foot against the dewey grass with an agitated groan.

"You seem pleasant this evening, sister," Benedict's voice called out, making the girl turn to him with a sigh.

He chuckled at her exhausted expression and sat himself down on the other swing, looking at her with a quizzical stare.

"Must you bother me with your presence?" Eloise huffed, her breath coming out in mist before her eyes.

The sound of far off thunder rumbled and both Bridgerton siblings looked out to the clouds on the horizon that were dark and ready to rain hell on Mayfair. The lightning flashed soon after, highlighting the grey clouds even more.

"I believe I must," Benedict sighed in the same tone as Eloise. "There is a storm brewing."

"Literally or theoretically?" Eloise chuckled and Benedict only shrugged. "You are quite vague."

"I do take pleasure in that," Benedict smiled, taking out a cigar with a smirk. He lit it and took a long puff on it before handing it to Eloise, who took it gratefully. "You have seemed different lately, El."

"How so?" she mumbled back, cigar between her lips.

"I do not know... You seem darker? More cynical?" her brother commented, swinging slightly on the rope. "I want to make sure you are okay."

"Well, I assure you, Benedict," Eloise breathed out, smoke mixing with mist. "I am completely fine."

Another rumble of thunder sounded from the clouds, lightning following the leader with blind obedience, and it make Eloise roll her eyes and shiver.

"I believe the weather disagrees with you," Benedict chuckled, taking back the cigar and looking at the girl softly. "And so do I."

"And who are you to disagree with my feelings?"

"I am your brother, El," he smiled, taking another puff of the cigar. "I know you... and whoever this is," he used the cigar to motion at Eloise, "is not you."

"Why? Because I see the world as it clearly is? Misery," Eloise rolled her eyes, looking out the storm that rumbled over the trees.

"No, because you care what people think of you," Benedict said, nudging Eloise's shoulder as he swung sideways on the swing. "And you look heart broken. I noticed it that night before the Featherington ball, too, but it is clearer now. You seem wrapped up in it."

Eloise did not know what to say because everything he said was true. She had been wrapped up in it, for longer than she had ever wanted. The feeling of despair suffocated her and she deeply wanted a breath of fresh air.

"Does this have anything to do with you not speaking to Penelope Featherington?" Benedict guessed, but Eloise shook her head. He tried again. "The young lady you were visiting last month. The one that got mentioned in Lady Whistledown's newsletter."

The younger Bridgerton sighed, tears filling her eyes, and she looked to her dangling feet with a nod of her head.

Benedict took another puff of the cigar in the silence. "Hmm. Did she break your heart?"

Eloise thought for a moment, not sure if she should disclose this information with her brother, but for some reason, she felt as if he would understand.

"Yes. And I, her," Eloise gulped, bringing a hand to her eyes, wiping away a stray tear.

"Oh, El," Benedict said, putting a hand on her shoulder which, for once, she appreciated. "I am sorry. I am sorry I did not realise sooner."

"It was my own fault for falling for the girl so quickly and so foolishly," Eloise mumbled, her lips trembling. "It was my own fault for being so careless."

"No, it was never your fault for falling in love," her brother shook his head. "Feelings can be unexplainable things, and they can appear at the best and worst moments, all you can do is hope you do not ever lose that connection. It is all we can ever hope."

Eloise turned her head to her brother, seeing him smile back at her while placing the cigar back between his lips.

"If you love something, they say let it go," Benedict sighed. "Do not listen to that stupidity. If you love something, you do not stop fighting until you get it. And if we all lose that will to fight, well, God help us all."

Eloise turned back, eyes shining, not with tears this time, but with hope. Her brother was right, for once in his life, she needed to fight for Maria, no matter what it took.

"Eloise, why are you still sitting here?" the man asked, eyebrow raised with a smirk. "Go confess your love."

She took a deep breath and nodded, jumping up from the swing and looking to her brother with a realisation. "What about mother, or our siblings, or the maids, or--"

"I will handle them. Do not worry," Benedict smiled and she felt her heart fixing itself with hope.

She hugged her brother's arm, feeling slightly awkward since she did not like physical touch. "I meant what I said, you really are my favourite brother."

He chuckled and shoved her away gently. "Go!"

She nodded quickly and rushed to the one footman at the front of the house that she knew would help her to visit her true love.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Maria had not felt worse ever before, not even when her brother would not forgive her for putting all those spiders in his bed, nor when she had figured out Penelope's plan to expose Eloise in hopes it would protect her. She felt despair all over, it had poisoned her heart and spread through her blood to her lungs, her stomach, her brain. She felt numb and it was because she had never loved and missed someone as much as Eloise Bridgerton.

She was the poison that flooded through her body, that caused her to want to cry at the single mention of her name, that caused her to want to throw up at the memories of their time together, that caused her to curse and whisper into the night when sleep escaped her.

Her brother had been worried for her, seeing her steep decline in pleasantness. She had gone from an exciteable, sometimes irritating young girl, to a stoic, unemotional grown woman. He wanted to simply blame it on his illness last month, but it had lasted to long to be that. The only thing that was left to be blamed was that girl who had visited just to shout at his sister.

Theo tried to question Maria on it, both softly and authoratively, but neither could get any answers. She had switched off and he feared only one thing would ever undo that.

That dreadful, stormy night, a month after that last visit from Eloise, Maria was finishing up outside the back of the printing store, covering the newly made newsletters and pamphlets with a sheet to protect them from the torrential rain. The raindrops raced down her cheeks, soaking her hair and sticking it to her face in ratty strands.

The rain did not change her mood because she could not get any more miserable. The thunder was just another sound in her dull world, the lightning another distraction from her constant thoughts of the Bridgerton. She covered the paper with the sheet, hoping to protect it better than she had Eloise.

Sighing, she put a hand through her wet hair, trying to see properly as she stood back upright from the slick, cobbled street.

When she looked up however, all she saw was a dark figure coming towards her from the corner of the courtyard. She furrowed her eyebrows, the rain blurring her vision, but the figure made their way towards her until they were only two metres apart.

A lantern was shining from the side of the printer's shop, only alight to help Maria see what she was doing, but it was not helping now as it only cast the figure's face into shadows under their blue cloak.

Maria felt a small feeling of hope breaking through her poisoned heart, chest tightning with a lack of oxygen. She did not want to believe so easily that it was the person she seeked, yet there was nobody else that would come to see her at this time of night nor in this weather.

"Eloise?" Maria breathed out and the figure stepped forward once more, pulling down her hood to reveal the girl's guess to be correct. "I-- I mean, Miss Bridgerton."

The rain immediately poured down onto Eloise's face, dampening her hair until it flatten on either side of her shoulders. Her blue eyes shone in the lantern's light and a ghost of a smile sat on her lips.

"Eloise is fine," the girl nodded, making Maria raise her eyebrows in surprise. She did not want to believe that the girl had forgiven her, she did not believe she deserved that.

"Eloise, did anyone see you?" Maria asked, going to move forward, but she stopped, unsure of the boundaries that had been set between them. "I do not want you--"

"There is no need to keep me protected anymore, Maria," Eloise shook her head with a genuine smile. "I do not care if someone sees. I do not care if they judge. It would not be like me to care what people think."

"But... Do you not hate me?"

The question hung heavy in the air and Eloise swallowed, looking to her shoes, thinking for a moment. Maria did not know if she had said the wrong thing or not, breath quickening as she started to panic. But it would all be for nought.

"All my life I have been told that I would grow older, get married, have my husband's children and then settle down and wait for death," Eloise finally spoke in her usual cynical tone. "That was to be my destiny and that was all I was told. I was shoved in front of audiences, expected to play the part of the princess, to be just as perfect as my sister. But I was not like that. In reality, I am clumsy, short-tempered, too educated for my own good. It was everything nobody wanted in a wife because women are expected to be obedient and listen to their husbands with all the intelligence of a tea spoon."

The Bridgerton looked up and she met the golden, brown eyes of the Sharpe girl. She had never seen anyone listen to her so intently and it made her heart melt, at least what was left of it.

"Although, I do not believe that this is what my destiny is... to be the doting, caring, attentive wife," Eloise continued as she felt her eyes wander to the other girls lips, raindrops rolling to darken the pink.

"What do you believe is your destiny is, then?" Maria asked, her foot moving a step forward without her realising. Her eyes were looking directly into Eloise's, almost daring her to answer and finally confess.

"I believe my destiny is... you," Eloise breathed out, making her heart pound against her ribcage and Maria's eyes widen with childlike excitement. "You, Maria Sharpe, are what I want. You are like a forbidden fruit. Not to be touched, not to be looked at, not even to be thought of, but just one bite, and you had me. I was your's from the moment we met, and I believe I will never be anyone else's."

It was now Eloise's turn to step forward, her foot sinking into a shallow puddle, but she ignored the shiver that ran through her blood from the chilling water. She was more focused on the fact that Maria's face was inches away from their own, they were so close that if one of them dared to move one more step, their noses would touch and everything would be over.

"I have never wanted to hate anyone more than you, Maria," Eloise whispered, her warm breath hitting the other girl's lips, just igniting the fire in her stomach that yearned to lean forward and kiss her. "But that is nothing compared to how much I want to feel your touch. I want to feel your skin against my own. I want your eyes to only be on me. I want your lips on... my lips. I want you."

Maria could not stand it anymore and she put her hand gently to the girl's jaw, tipping it to her mouth. Their lips met and the connection was cemented. Thunder rumbled, lightning blazed, but it was nothing compared to the feeling the two girl's felt as their lips moved against each other out of desperation and passion.

Eloise sighed into the kiss, her throat aching from the amount of talking she had been doing, and she was happy that Maria had decided to stop her before she had lost her voice. Though, she was even happier that the brunette's lips were against her's, kissing her until they both needed breath, and even then they only stopped until they were sure they had to intake some oxygen.

"You talk a lot, Eloise," Maria panted, her smile creeping to her lips. "So much that your words mean everything and nothing at the same time."

Eloise took a deep breath, smirking up at the girl. "Just be quiet."

She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against the other girls once again. Maria welcomed it and kissed back at once, moving her hands to the girl's hips, while Eloise combed her fingers through the brunette's hair.

The rain continued to pour around them, but the girl's could not care less, because they were in a world of their own. They wished to be together, up in the stars like Eloise dreamed, or the Romeo and Juliet fantasy that the Bridgerton had thought up. Either was fine with them, as long as they never left each other's side again.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*