𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

"𝑬𝒍, 𝒅𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆?"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

𝐈𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐃𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐀'𝐒 𝐖𝐄𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 and Eloise felt herself rolling her eyes at the obvious effort put into every, little detail. The flowers all carefully pruned, pews set straight, dresses on point.

She felt more out of the ordinary as ever and the white roses that lined every bit of the church building reminded her of such. She was in love, yes, but with a girl. And that girl made her feel so many things that she wasn't sure she could hold it all in.

"It is a wonder I have found the two of you in the midst of all this opulence, is it not?" Penelope spoke, appearing beside Eloise and Colin.

"Quite," Eloise smirked back at her friend, happy to have someone to share her distaste with. "Her majesty's fondness for the diamond exceeds even what Lady Whistledown suggests."

Penelope was startled to hear the name coming out of the girl's mouth after it not being said for a while now, but she decided to not show it and look around the church instead.

"Daphne's wedding was not nearly as extraordinary," Eloise said, slightly bitter. "And she married a Duke."

"Perhaps the Queen requires our attention in new ways," Penelope suggested. "The weight of the Crown is quite heavy. Perhaps she seeks to prove herself still significant and equal to the task."

"Is that not the plight of all mankind?" Colin pondered.

"Well, I believe it is."

"Do not indulge him," Eloise groaned, looking disgusted from her brother and back to Pen. "He has been insufferable ever since returning from Greece. Or was it your visit with Lady Crane?"

This made Penelope's attention spike and both girls turned to Colin, making him start a little.

"The cause does not matter nearly as much as the truth," Colin covered for himself. "One must make a name for oneself if this life is to mean anything at all."

"A noble pursuit," Penelope complimented, completely smitten with the boy.

"Thank you, Pen."

The boy then looked between the two women, noticing the obvious differences. Eloise had her shoulder's slumped, a frown permanently on her face while Penelope looked as if the sun was always shining and her posture was straight and attentive.

"It is surprising that you and Eloise remain so familiar when you could not be less alike," Colin commented.

Penelope furrowed her eyebrows, looking to Eloise and then back at Colin. "What can you mean?"

"Well," Colin smirked, taking a sip from his flask. "You have sense."

Eloise chuckled sarcastically at her brother's joke, him slowly walking down the aisle to talk to someone else. Penelope smiled enjoyably and felt the brown-haired girl looped her arm in her's.

"It is a fool's errand to try to make an impression on those in good society who have not a single thought," Eloise complained, the two girls now walking down the aisle as well. "And what good is it anyway to make a name for oneself if it is only to be written on dance cards?"

Penelope frowned, not knowing what the girl was on about. "What of Lady Whistledown? She speaks of everyone without remorse."

"No. No, she does not speak of all," Eloise corrected, one girl in particular on the cusp of her mind as always. "Perhaps she simply does not know that there are some beyond the ton worthy of attention too."

Feeling slightly aggrivated, Penelope tore her arm away from the other girl's. "Are you speaking of Miss. Sharpe again, El?"

Eloise scoffed, but felt her cheeks heat up at the mere mention of the girl. "I have heeded your warnings. Theoretically."

The red-head gave her a pointed glare and Eloise continued to explain herself. "It'd be foolish of me to continue to visit her."

The other girl, knowing better, leaned forward in a low voice so as to not attract unwanted attention. "And what in actuality?"

Eloise scoffed again, but thought for a moment, then said, "I visited her just the other day."

Penelope sighed and the brown-haired girl still felt her face flame out of thoughts of the girl. She needed to speak, to cover her tracks, but she knew exactly what she was feeling and nerves that another might know as well made her want to throw-up.

"But it's not nearly as scandalous as you make it out to be," Eloise sighed, lying through her teeth. "It is only her thoughts I'm interested in."

"It is a friendship, then?" Penelope decided to outright ask and the girl stared back in disbelief that she was being questioned so easily.

Her voice came out shaky and her chuckle covered her nerves, she hoped. "Of course. What else could it be?"

Penelope knew her friend was lying to her and herself and she felt awful that Eloise felt she had to do that. So, instead of helping the girl figure it out, she walked to the Featherington's pew, leaving Eloise to bask in her nerves.

The brown-haired girl stood in the middle of the aisle, her heart beat spiked. She had come so close to almost collapsing. Could it be that Penelope knew exactly what she felt for the other girl and if so, how?

She didn't want to think about that right now, so she took her place next to her brother's, awaiting the wedding to begin. Although, instead of thinking about what would cause the wedding to be such a disaster, she could only think of Maria and how she only hoped that she could tell her how she felt.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After Edwina had rushed from the alter, much to everyone's surprise, those in attendance was ushered out into the palace's gardens, leaving Eloise to think more about what she had begun to decide during the bore of a ceremony.

When she had seen the look that had been conveyed between Kate Sharma and her brother, she had felt as if that could only be true love. And yet she was stuck realising that that was exactly what she felt and saw when looking into Maria's eyes.

She looped her arm with Penelope as they walked down the graveled path, through the crowded garden, finally feeling as if she was ready to speak.

"I've given much consideration to what you said," Eloise said quickly, moving at the same pace as she spoke. "About Miss. Sharpe and her degree of interest."

Penelope sighed, realising that this is not what she had wanted at all. "No. El, I did not intend you to think about that. You should put her out of your mind."

If only Pen knew how much the girl plagued Eloise's thoughts. And to hide this, the girl chuckled lightly.

"I know it is..." she cleared her throat, the nerves flooding her body again. "Odd, but I assumed ours was merely an intellectual bond, a fr- friendship based in like-minded thought and rigorous conversation. But what if you are right? What if she feels more?"

Eloise felt her breath catch in her throat at the single thought of the wonderous girl ever liking her back. On the other hand, Penelope stared, dumbfounded, at her friend for even saying it aloud in this society.

"I never said--" Penelope exclaimed, but she recovered herself and took advantage of the opportunity. "El, do you want her to feel more?"

The brown-haired girl looked at her friend, speechless, for once in her life. She looked at Pen with her eyes wide, spluttering, trying to come up with anything but the word "yes".

"My feelings about her feelings do not matter if I do not know for a fact what it is she is feeling," Eloise blurted, looking around to make sure nobody else could hear clearly. Then she saw her friend's confused face and she started to wander further from the crowded gardens.

"Perhaps you have already gone farther than is wise," Penelope warned, following after her friend. She hated that she had to do this to her, but she needed to protect her at any cost, even if that meant breaking her heart. "Have you not heard of all the trouble that befell Lady Mary because she chose to marry beneath her station? Let alone someone of the same sex!"

Eloise stopped out of pure shock, yet she did like the thought of marriage when it came to Maria. "No one speaks of marriage, Pen. I am speaking of... clarity of thought. I simply would like to know."

"But why?" Penelope demanded.

Eloise let out a breath, not having seen her friend so insisent on a matter... well, ever. "I can accept certain mysteries. I may never know how men came to be considered leaders when women are clearly better suited. I may never understand why the modiste tortures her own clients with tight bodices and scratchy fabrics. I may never know how Miss. Sharpe really knew of my name before our introduction. I may never even know who is behind Lady Whistledown."

The red-head looked at her friend, her mind wandering at how stupid Maria was to have said the girl's name without pretending to have learnt it, but then thought of how it had been distracting for Eloise. Her friend hadn't been so caught up in finding out who the woman was and that had made it easier for Penelope. But she couldn't let Eloise get caught up in this mess.

"And you could accept such a mystery?" Penelope asked, feeling her chest tighten.

"Of course not, but..." Eloise denied, not believing she could back down from anything. "Those are mysteries I may never solve. This one with Maria-- Miss. Sharpe, I can."

"But what good will it do?" Penelope continued. "It is not as though you can act on it."

That seemed to bring Eloise down to earth and she felt her shoulders slump and a frown adorn her face. Her friend was correct, but she had never once backed down from a challenge. Would this really be the one time she did? When she was so close to feeling complete and utter happiness?

"I suppose... if I know for sure, it will be a relief," Eloise spoke, her voice quieter. "It is the not knowing that makes it feel like... torment. To turn over in your mind the events of a mere conversation. To- To look at all of the evidence and still not be sure. It is a pleasing, stimulating, thrilling kind of torment."

Eloise picked up some grapes from the nearby buffet table, placing one in her mouth at each adjective.

"Have you ever felt that way?"

Penelope looked out in to the greens, swallowing. "No. I can only imagine such a thing."

Her eyes wandered as Eloise continued to take grapes from the buffet. It met the scene of Colin who stood around with some of the other men, and she knew exactly of the words that Eloise spoke.

Though, Eloise didn't pay any attention and only thought back to how much she wished to see Maria again, as much as Penelope had warned her. She felt as if she needed to know how the girl felt about her, just for educational purposes, of course. She would not need to know for any other reason, well, maybe because she was completely head over heels for Maria Sharpe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Eloise stood awkwardly by the exit path of the palace, a footman stood nearby while the girl was about to hurry away, hopefully with no other eyes watching her. That was not the case, however, as Eloise began to make haste, Penelope ran up behind her.

"El?" the red-head called, but she had to quicken her pace when Eloise continued to run away. "El, whatever are you--"

"I have made a decision to visit Maria now," Eloise let out in a breath, stopping and turning around to the other girl.

"Eloise, it is your brother's wedding," Penelope reasoned, looking around. "People will notice."

"This is why no one will," the brown-haired girl spoke quickly, anticipating seeing Maria again. "Everyone is worried about Anthony and Miss Edwina. They'll hardly miss me."

"Simply because an opportunity presents itself does not mean you should take it. Surely there are other things to do. Have you seen the peacocks?" Penelope tried to pull Eloise away, but the girl didn't move.

Eloise had to admit the birds were pretty, but they could not compare to Maria's attractiveness. "It is vexing to think only of her thoughts when I should rather be thinking of my own."

"I..." Penelope feeling at a loss for words at her friend's continious defiance. "I do not know what to say."

"Say nothing," the taller girl smiled. "That is all I ask. I am only telling you now because you are my friend, and I do not wish for secrets to set us apart."

She grabbed the Featherington's hand, clutching it tightly in hope's that Penelope understood. And she did. The red-head could understand that the girl was deeply in love and could only congratulate her for going and getting what she wanted. Something the girl had never been able to do herself.

Giving a nod, Eloise smiled appreciatively, squeezing her friend's hand. Penelope only wanted to protect the girl, but she couldn't stop her from the only thing that was more powerful than society. Love.

Eloise let go of her hand and turned with a deep breath. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. She was going to finally know Maria's feelings and thoughts, know her on a level where they were one.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*