THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
fragments || five hargreeves x reader

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: WE REALLY DO HAVE A WEIRD FAMILY

Written By: peachyhxlland

°•.☆.•°

The four of you eventually ended up in a salon, where Allison was working, after eating tacos. Allison was opening some wine as music plays in the background. Not long after, all of you started talking about your problems during your stay in Dallas. "The nerve of that man." Allison groaned. "I mean, one thing goes wrong, and he's on a warpath. I mean, doesn't know who I am? No, no. No, Ray, you know exactly who I am. You just can't handle it." Allison ranted as she combed Klaus' hair.

You were sitting with Vanya as you watched her pretending to shoot bottles in front of you two causing you to giggle. "Pew, pew." Vanya mimicked the sound of gunshots quietly. She closed one eye and pretended to focus on her targets and shoots again with her imaginary bullets. "Pew, pew."

"I'm protecting him." Allison continued to rant and softly slapped Klaus in irritation. "Ow." Klaus winced. "From what?"

"The end of the world, for one," Allison answered.

"Is the world really gonna end in six days?" Vanya asked.

Allison froze for a moment before continuing on styling Klaus' hair. "Well, it did last time, and we did everything Five could think of to stop it."

"So we basically depended on him?" You questioned.

"Well, he's the one who knew about the apocalypse. What we can do is to help him prevent it but it didn't work. The world still ended." Allison sighed.

Klaus sat up straight to take a cigarette before standing up. "Hey, wouldn't it be weird if Five grew up all hot?" Klaus then smirked at you while the two women groaned. "What?" Vanya asked in disbelief.

"Wouldn't that be weird?" Klaus walked over to you and nudged you teasingly. You stayed silent, not letting any reaction escaped in your face or mouth.

"Eww." Allison groaned.

Klaus turned to Allison in surprise. "Oh! Oh, eww! Eww!" He mocked. "Please, Miss 'Luther was my lover'." Klaus teased her with kissing sounds earning a gasp from Allison. "We have never even kissed."

"Holy shit, you two were a thing?" You gasped in astonishment, grabbing a bottle of wine. "We really do have a weird family."

"Yeah, and even if you two never kissed, you guys were making me a little stick moon-dog eyes at each other all through puberty and breakfast and all that."

Allison sat down on the chair that Klaus was previously sitting on and rested her legs up on a stool.

"Aren't we all brothers and sisters, or...?" Vanya asked in pure confusion.

Klaus snorted while Allison tried to explain. "Well... technically, it—"

"'Technically'?" Klaus questioned. "If you have to word... use the word 'technically', you're already in trouble." Klaus giggled.

"Okay, can... can we focus?" Allison asked. "I mean, clearly we're not saving the world tonight, but maybe, maybe, we could at least try to save my marriage."

"At least you got married." You sighed as you drink the wine.

Klaus, who pouring liquor on his flask and started dripping, eventually stopped. "No!" He exclaimed to Allison. "No, because that's like... that's like asking a nun how to hump someone's leg."

You snickered as you continued drinking.

"I mean, who in this room knows shit about relationships? This one?" He pointed to Vanya. "In secret love with some farm Frau."

"Her name's Sissy," Vanya informed.

"Which is an improvement on her previous love interest, the serial killer."

Allison's eyes widened and shook her head at Klaus telling him to stop but the sentence was already said. Vanya and you gasped. "What?" Vanya turned to Allison for some answers who whispered in response. "Later." She whispered.

"Meanwhile, I'm carrying a torch... for a soldier, I haven't technically met yet, and Luther is in love with his sister."

"Okay, again, we are not biological."

"Still pretty fucking weird." You told her, snickering, as you drink again.

"Says the woman who's also in love with her brother," Klaus said with a smile. Your smile dropped and looked at your siblings. "I'm what?"

"Face it, everyone! The healthiest long-term relationship in this family was when Five was banging that mannequin."

Your face expressed disgust but you laughed. "Jeez." You laughed. "Desperate much? Does the mannequin have a name?"

"I think it was Delores," Allison replied.

Your smile faded again, blinking, and setting the bottle down. 'Oh my fucking—' You instantly turned to Klaus. "So you're telling me, Five had sex with a mannequin? A fucking mannequin?"

"I don't know. I suck at flirting since I spent my twenty-five years in the future with Delores."

"Delores? Who's Delores?"

Klaus shrugged. "Probably. Most likely, yeah."

"You take care of Delores while I distract them."

"What? No way in hell am I gonna babysit a fucking mannequin!"

"Just trust me."

"I'm fucking risking my life for a mannequin. If I die on this one, blame it to the fucking mannequin or maybe the little old man."

You scoffed, facepalming mentally, as you drink more liquor. 'So that's Delores. Now I fucking remember her.'

"Anyway!" Klaus exclaimed. "The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love..." Klaus raised his arm up. "... is how to screw it up."

"Oi..." You sighed. "Cheers to that." You mumbled.

"Cheers." Vanya and Allison agreed in unison. "How do you guys deal with this?" Vanya asked.

"What?" Allison asked after drinking her own bottle of wine.

"I mean, all of it. The time travel, seeing the dead, the end of the world."

"Well, I get really high," Klaus said. "Allison... Allison... lies to herself." His statement earned him a rolling stool towards him which was kicked by Allison herself. "(Y/n) drinks her sorrows away and eventually her brain started breaking, unable to function properly. And you, Vanya, suppress all your emotions deep, deep down until you... you blow shit up."

"Yeah, I'd really like to not do that anymore," Vanya confessed.

"Well, you've got six days, missy."

"What the hell are we supposed to do with six days?" Allison questioned.

"Panic and die." You sighed. "This is too much pressure honestly."

"Party?" Klaus suggested.

You nodded at him. "Or that. Party is less fun than panicking and dying but I would choose party all day."

Vanya sat up straight in realization. "I'm gonna tell Sissy that I love her." Klaus let out a sharp exhale. "I don't want any secrets." Vanya continued.

"Yeah." Klaus nodded.

You nodded too. "Mhm."

"Yeah." Allison stood up from her seat, agreeing with Vanya. "Yeah, yeah, you're right. Yes, 'cause, you know, if... if it's all gonna go tits-up, the least I could do is be honest with my husband."

"Oh... does that mean I have to face my cult?" Klaus sighed. "I just hate group breakups. It's why I stopped dating twins."

Vanya threw her hands up. "This family's amazing."

Klaus cackled as he stood up. "Yeah, sure."

"Okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves."

Klaus embraced Allison and waved at you and Vanya. "Come here, (Y/n), Vanya."

"Come ooon!" Allison giggled. "Get over here."

Vanya stood up first and approached her siblings, jumping up and down like a bunny, hugging Allison and Klaus. You sighed happily, setting the bottle down, and hugged your siblings. "I love you guys." Klaus stated, hugging you all tight.

Allison laughed until gasping when she heard a song on the radio. "Oh! You guys! I love this song!" Allison separated herself away from you, Vanya, and Klaus to turn the volume of the radio up. The four of you started dancing, not caring about anything but just dancing and being with each other.

After the song ends, the four of you went back to your seats, sighing happily. You were about to grab your bottle again until you heard voices.

'Oh, that was fun.' It was Klaus.

'That was tiring.' Said Allison.

'It's been a while since I've danced.' Vanya said.

You turned around and smiled. "I can hear y'all, you know."

The three paused before exchanging looks and then looking back at you. "What?"

"Klaus said dancing was fun, Allison said it was tiring, and Vanya said it's been a while since she has danced."

Klaus chuckled nervously. "We didn't say that. That's probably just in our minds."

"I think you can read minds, (Y/n)," Allison said.

Vanya snapped her fingers, grinning at you. "We have an awesome sister, y'all."

"I can read minds?!" You gasped loudly. "Holy shit! Can I also look into someone's memories?"

The three looked at you in surprise this time. "Well, we actually don't know," Allison admitted. "Dad didn't even tell us everything about our powers. Maybe you can practice it."

You slumped back to your seat, nodding in understanding. "Um, hey, Allison."

"Hmm?"

"I know what you did to me."

Allison froze while Vanya turned to Klaus and Allison, getting interested and curious. Klaus then turned to Allison, drinking his liquor. Allison sighed. "(Y/n)..."

"It's alright."

"No, it's not. The world is ending in six days. At least let me apologize to you formally. You didn't deserve any of the pain you've endured. Everyone doesn't deserve this kind of experience or pain. You deserved so much more, (Y/n). The actions I've done, well, they were terrible especially to you."

You stared at her as she continued.

"I love you (Y/n). You and Vanya both mean a lot to me. What I've done isn't okay and I understand if you forgive me or not."

"Allison." You said calmly. "It's really alright. I know you didn't mean it and you regretted it. I understand."

Allison smiled before standing up. You stood up and she welcomed you in her arms. You hugged her back, smiling. "Thank you, (Y/n)."

°•○●○•°

Five followed Lila on an abandoned building seeing her break the window glass of a door from afar. Lila, knowing she was being followed, went inside. Five followed, entering the building sneakily. He spatial jumped inside, quickly catching up to Lila. Lila stopped running when she heard a 'whoosh'. She turned around to see Five. "What's your game, crazy lady?"

"Who cares?" Lila questioned. "You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me."

"Oh, I remember."

"Well, come on, big talker. Let's get this done."

"All right." Five spatial jumped to reappear behind Lila but she quickly turned around, kicking right in his face, and chuckled. Lila continued running as Five stood back up, wiping the blood off his face. He glared at Lila before chasing after her.

When he was close enough, he spatial jumped and appeared right in front of her causing Lila to stop. Five gave her two kicks on the face. Lila fought back and punched him in the face and even dodging some hits from Five. The two continued to fight. Lila jumped over some boxes and just as Five was about to approach her, she was gone.

Five was confused. 'Where the fuck did she go?' And then he heard a voice behind him. "I'm waiting." Five glanced back at the area she was supposed to be until shrugging and spatial jumping appear in front of her only to find her gone again. 'What. The. Fuck.'

Five heard laughter from behind so he quickly turned around to see Lila laughing. "Fed up yet, Five?" Five, clearly getting irritated and frustrated, grabbed a pipe, spatial jumping to hit her but instead hit something else. Five threw the pipe down and looked behind him to see Lila throwing a kick right at him. Five quickly dodged, sliding his feet off on the ground, causing her to fall right on the ground.

The boy approached her, stepping on her throat but Lila was struggling to lift his head up so he couldn't stomp her right there and then. "You're better than I thought." Lila wheezed out.

"And you are entirely average." Five replied back. Seeing Lila softly choking from the pressure of his feet, he decided to call out someone he knows who's watching the entire time. "You can come out now."

Soft footsteps were heard behind Five but he knew who it was. It was the Handler with a cigarette between her teeth. "Well done." The Handler commented. "You figured it out."

"Well, it wasn't very hard. She fights like every one of you Commission drones."

"Hmm." The Handler hummed, impressed. "No matter, here we are. Together again. I've gotta ask... did you miss me, you little shit?" Five looked up, glaring intensely at the woman who hired him years ago while Lila coughed and managed to laugh.

-•-°-•-°-☆

All chapters were made and ready to publish. The chapters will be published every Tuesday and Thursday at 6 pm (Philippine Time).