Chapter 19: Bittersweet

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"(N/N), please. Just wake up..."

You were jolted awake on an island. Two violet eyes stared down at you, glittering with concern.

Sitting up, you were surprised that the area your hand landed on wasn't cold and watery. Instead, it was warm and solid. Forgiving. You lay back down, staring at the dreary sky. Your eyelids slid over your dull (E/C) eyes. You decided to focus on your breathing instead of the skeleton in front of you.

"(N/N)? Are you awake?" The skeleton asked anxiously, leaning over you. If you died here with him, it would be a terribly sorry death. At least you'd be dying by his side. He flinched at the selfishness of the thought, and how easily it came.

"...(Y/N)?" The skeleton, now only lightly chained to the ocean breathed. If you didn't wake up to your real name, you wouldn't wake up at all.

You stirred irritably. He allowed himself to breath again.

"...Don't call me..." You blinked a few times, confused that you weren't in your bed. Pulling yourself into a sitting position again, you came face to face with violet eyes that you had seen so many times.

That lingering feeling you thought had left for good returned.

"Oh! (N-N/N)," the skeleton stuttered, adjusting his crown. You noticed that the sound of chains was less frequent, as was the buzzing in the air. "Thank the stars, I thought you weren't going to wake upโ€”"

"Were you watching me sleep?" Although you did trust this strange skeleton, it was always weird to wake up with him near you. Well, not always. His face was adorable when it was dusted with violet.

"Well, not... not really," he confessed warmly. You let out a sigh of relief. At least he wasn't a creep.

Your eyes lit up as you smiled, "Thanks for not being weird. It's nice to have a friend to confine in." He smiled back, although it looked almost pained.

"...You're welcome?" You laughed at his unsure response, making him laugh too. It was a pleasant sound. Your face heated.

After the laughter died down, the two of you fell into a comforting silence. The quiet sound of water lapping on the sides of the island filled the air as you tried to think of something to say.

You thought back to all of the nights you spent with this skeleton: sharing jokes, talking about books, and even just sitting with each other. It was always so... nice. Yet there was something about him, something familiar about the way he moved and looked. You took a breath.

"(N/N), Iโ€”"

"...Who are you?"

The chained skeleton's breath caught in his throat. You noticed the chains begin to pull him downwards again, as if daring him to say something. A low chuckle rang cut through the thin air. You recognized it immediately, and glanced back at the skeleton. His pupils shrunk in fear, and he looked up to you. His eyes already seemed to be apologizing.

"(N/N), please d-don't get the wrong ideaโ€”"

You furrowed your brow before finally looking around. Your surroundings were certainly different than all of the other times you had visited.

The sky seemed to be less clouded, and you weren't on the surface of the 'ocean.' You and the skeleton were on an island. It wasn't huge, but it was still nice. The ground was warm and solid, and there were even a fewโ€”

Wait.

Biting your cheek, you dared to look again. There were flowers on the island. Their petals fluttered gently in an invisible wind, their violet hue dim yet vibrant. They were almost everywhere, some even blossoming before you very eyes.

Violet buttercups.

Holy shit.

Suddenly, the island rumbled under your feet. Or was that just your head, beginning to tumble and turn? The edges of your vision went red as your mind cleared of most thoughtsโ€”except one. You stumbled, barely hearing the violet eyed skeleton cry out in concern. Everything blurred together in a swirl of black and violet.

The flowers. How he looked familiar. The way everything looked. How Nightmare's eye was sometimes violet, and he was almost passive. How Nightmare was so unsettled by the flowers that sometimes blossomed in your room, the flowers that only bloomed when you saw him...

Violet eyes. Violet buttercups.

The final piece clicked into place.

You exploded into a hyperventilating mess, causing the skeleton to jump in surprise. "(N/N)! (N/N), calm down!" He reached over to grab your shoulder but you yanked away. Hard. Landing on the ground with a soft thud, you scuttled as far as you could from the skeleton.

Ignoring the hurt and fear on his face, you gasped, "Y-You..?" Composing yourself, your face shifted to anger. "You..."

Wincing, those violet eyesโ€”ocean deep, so deep you could get lostโ€”stared into you hopelessly. "Please, (N/N), please. I didn't... I don't..." He trailed off into silence as you glared hard at him.

Tears filled your eyes. "Y-You killed them. You killed them!!" You were shouting now, anger coursing through your veins. You were half in disbelief, half in fury.

The chained skeleton was almost as panicked as you were. His eye sockets were lined with tears. A sound almost like bones snapping suddenly filled the air, and he collapsed in pain. His lower leg was almost cracked in twoโ€”with darkness seeping out of the snaps.

You nearly screamed.

"(N/N)! (N/N), please just listen!" The skeletonโ€”Nightmareโ€”begged, as tears began to fall down both of your faces. "I-I tried! I really... I really did! I tried not to... to... to do any of that! But... I was weak. I'm weak. I'm so weak..."

In any other situation, you would have felt sorry for him. Maybe even given him a hug. You would have had sympathy.

But not now. Not anymore.

"Maybe if you were stronger," you whispered, "My family would still be alive."

Tears dropped soundlessly onto the island. Was it just you, or was there less land than earlier?

Nightmare looked away, closing his eyes. "I'm begging you," he stammered quietly, "Understand that I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. I just... I just wanted..."

"...You."

The confession was abrupt and painful, like a slap in the face but kinder. You reeled from the invisible hit, your mind racing faster than a race car.

He only wanted you. He... He loved you.

The feeling that had been bugging you for so long swelled up to it's full power, suddenly peaking into the light of your mind. You bit your lip so hard it bled.

It was mutual.

You couldn't believe yourself. You really couldn't. How could you loveโ€”the word almost made you choke now, in this contextโ€”a murderer like him? He killed your family and friends, dammit! He took everything from you!

And yet here you were, loving and hating him at the same time.

You looked him in the eye and said nothing. Your head buzzed and twisted with mixed feelings. But before you could say anything, an inky tentacle rose from the ocean and wrapped around Nightmare.

You screamed.

He clawed at it, muttering 'no, no, no' over and over again. The small attacks did nothing, and something you could only call laughing filled the air.

Smaller tendrils branches out from the first, tugging Nightmare down even harder. The skeleton looked up at you, eyes shining with tears.

"(N/N), I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I wasn't strong enough. I was never strong enough. I couldn't even save myself. I was never good enough for anyone. I was never good enough for anything. Even you. Especially you." He rambled on and on, his face growing closer and closer to the murky darkness.

"Please, (N/N). If I could take it all backโ€”if I could take it all back, even to go back to that hellโ€”I would. I would do anything to justโ€”just not make anyone suffer anymore. Please, you have to believe me! I didn't want any of this! I'm sorry, (Y/N)! If I could just die right nowโ€”just kill myself and get it over withโ€”I would!"

You stared at him, tears blurring your vision. How did this even happen? Nightmare looked at you, head almost fully submerged.

Giving a weak smile, he whispered shakily, "I'm sorry."

And he was gone.


:):


A sudden pain in the back of your skull opened your eyes, forcing you awake. With a shaky hand, you brushed your fingers against your face.

You weren't surprised to feel wetness on your cheeks.

With a shaky sigh, you sat upโ€”only to come face to face with Nightmare. But was it really Nightmare? Or just some sort of covering, a virusโ€”a Darkness.

His smile was gone, replaced by a straight face. His eye was a sharp cyan, although the tiniest prickle of violet lined the edges. Were those tear streaks on his skull? It was hard to see with all of the black tar covering his shell.

"(N/N)." His voice sent shivers up and down your spine. It was chilling, now that you knew the two were the same. There was a distinct difference; Nightmare's voice could barely be heard under all of the distortion.

"We need to talk."

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