❝ you only live life once. ❞

"wake your ass up." my brother said punching me. "why dd big head ass in my crib?" he added. i groaned and sat up. i forgot dd was still here lowkey.

"david. you gotta go." i said placing my hand on his chest. "not yet." he said, pulling the covers over his head.

i looked at dami and shrugged. i laid back down and got comfortable. dd wrapped his arm around me and buried his head in my neck. "fuck up off my sister lil bro. i know how you treat bitches." my brother said feeling bad.

"we just chilling. i only met him last night damiir. im not one of those hoes." i said closing my eyes.

✮✮✮

"ima go desi. notti called me saying my ma going crazy cause i aint there." he explained. i frowned and pat his back before he left. "finally lil nigga left. you cannot be around him no more." damiir said stubborn-ish.

"stop acting like you're my dad dami. i'm 15, almost grown. i can make my own choices." i said already irritated because dd had to go.

i picked up my phone because it was going off.

Lil Not Not 💙
david mad geeked
what happened wit yall 🙂😉😉

me
nothing..
we went live
watched tv
and slept

Lil Not Not 💙

me
k.

i clicked my phone off because i clearly cant just hang out with a friend without someone thinking we were freaking.

it was only 11:23 am and i needed to plan something to do. i called up my heart, sy'rai.

"hi my love." she said picking up the phone. "what you doing today my heart?" i asked her. "ion got anything planned for today." she said somewhat unsure.

"you tryna go hoop at the park?" i asked her. there was a lot of static on her end until i heard. "ima be there in 20." she said running to get ready.

✮✮✮

i saw rai sitting on the bench talking to some girl. "i found this girl, she tryna play too." rai said pushing the girl forward. rai always inviting and meeting random ass people.

"aye wassup. you sugarhill dami sister?" she asked me. "mhm. what they call you?" i asked her sizing her up. "they callin me jayracks." she answered me. i nodded and took the basketball from rai.

i started dribbling and running towards the hoop. i jumped and shot the ball. jay chased sy'rai to get the ball back.

long story short, i demolished that game.

✮✮✮

we were making our way to the deli. i opened the door and heard that doorbell ring. i walked to the counter and asked the ock to make a ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and jalapenos. sy'rai ordered the same thing without jalapenos.

jay went to get a bag of hot fries and a bottle of canada dry. the cashier run us up and the total came to "$13.89" i handed him a $20 and walked grabbed my sandwich.

rai got hers and we were waiting for jay to put her stuff in the bag. i started eating my sandwich and i heard the doorbell ring. i continued eating my sandwich because in ny we just mind our business.

"DESIIIIII." ethan said running towards me. i turned the opposite direction and minded my business. "wassup baby ricooo." darrian said dapping up sy'rai. ethan dapped her up as well and smiled.

i turned my head and saw dd face turn red after talking to jay. "you met her before?" i asked dd. he looked at me but continued talking to jay.

i continued eating my sandwich and left out the deli. i was on my phone on instagram as i was walking off. i heard someone yell my name hoping it was dd trying to say sorry or something.

"DESI! can i get $10?" darrian asked me looking desperate. "oh." i said grabbing $15 out my pocket and giving it to him. "keep the change." i mumbled.

i made it to my block and sat on the stu. the time was now like 5:32 pm. i was on my phone listening to music and looking around.

i saw edot walk up to me. "wassup sis." he said giving me a hug. "damiir aint letting you in?" he asked me. "no, i'm just bored." i sighed. "sis go inside, it aint safe out in sugarhill." he said pushing me up the stairs.

i lazily walked up the stairs, sad. i went into the house and inside my room. i laid on my bed and opened instagram again.

theerealljayyrackss started following you 1h ago

i followed her back and then got a new notification.

[allfordesi]: theerealljayyrackss started a live video with ddosama: join noww 👅👅

i wanted to ignore it but i was genuinely curious. i joined the live and saw them both laughing.

"im tryna make you mine shorty." dd said throwing up oy. jay was laughing and nodding. "we gonna see." she smiled. i looked in the comments and read them.

nottiosama
hi desi 🤞🏽

allfordesi
@nottiosama hi pookie. 🫶🏼

precious_dd
who is this now 🙄

osamas.babymama
he got too many girls fa my likingg

sugarhilllddot
playing my cousin

jay was reading the comments and then she turned them off. "me and her aint even talking or none. i met her yesterday and we just friends, barely. dickhead." dd explained to darrian.

i felt my heart drop and i turned off my phone. i got up from my bed and walked to damiir's room.

i opened the door and saw him at his desk playing 2k. i sat on his bed and sighed. i got comfortable and heard dami yell, "SHOOT NIGGA SHOOT. SIGUE INTENTANDOME. PUSSY NIGGA." he yelled into his mic.

i laughed and sat up looking at the game. "sister cuss them out in spanish. you more accurate." dami said pulling the mic closer to me.

"basura como la mierda. yall no puede disparar por una mierda. Como conseguiste el juego pero no puedes jugarlo? vete a la mierda idiota." i said in spanish very fast. my brother nodded his head and said, "yep exactly."

dami can understand spanish just cant speak it very fast. mami was always tryna speak spanish around us to get us to learn. i picked up on it but dami wasnt interested.

technically its my first language because i learned it before english. but it was like a switch, i learned english at school and spoke spanish at home and in the hill.

as i grew up people was making fun of my accent so i stopped. my accent still kinda heavy but its not that bad. shit, i love it now.

my favorite thing about my spanish is how fast i can speak it and when i mix it with my english. anyways..

dami got off of his game and laid beside me. "so wassup dessss." he said yelling in my ear. "i'm sad." i said laying my head on his shoulder.

he wrapped his arm around and rocked me. "whats wrong." he said in a sympathetic tone. "just a little hurt." i answered. "dd?" he asked me. "sure." i added.

"i be forgetting how niggas act. i thought we was tryna be some last night and he fucking around with some bitch i met playing ball." i ranted. "we was at the deli and they was chopping it up and heheing. i was talking to him and he ignored me. and them darrian proceed to ask for $10. and then rai and ethan was love at first or something." i continued.

"he not no nigga to settle." my brother hugged me. "im being dramatic. i just met him yesterday." i laughed getting up. "nahh. i understand, you be attached quick. but me too." he said pinching my cheeks.

i smiled and left out of his room. "fuck dd." i mumbled going to lay down on my bed. i turned on shameless because i was out of it honestly. those some problems for tomorrow.

☆彡

𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃.

REVISED.
2 JAN. 2023

1352 words.