I hate that I miss him. It's been weeks since I've written; I just can't seem to put my feelings into words. Over the past few weeks, I've had more time to think and I've grown tired of being consumed by anger. It only negatively affected my life as I've found myself lashing out at everyone: Ummah, my teachers, and even people I didn't know. I forgot how bitter it'd felt to be alone, but now I remember why I loved having Amir in my life. He's leaving for America soon anyway, so maybe it's for the best that we're not friends anymore. Still, it would be nice to be with him until he has to leave. I hate myself for missing him. He's sinful, I don't want to be tainted by him. Please Allah, give me strength and forgive me for having these thoughts.