xix. desperate people find faith,
so now I pray to Jesus to

TWO-BIT, PONYBOY AND MARIA walked out of the diner. It felt weird to be in one of Johnny's favourite places without him but they thought that a muffin from his favourite diner would cheer him up a little bit.

Maria shoved it into her bag, not realising that the boys had stopped until she heard their voices cease.

She looked up to see what was the problem and that was when she saw the Soc's pulling up in front of them, getting out of their cars.

She took a step back so that she was standing between the two boys again. She looked to her right and saw some of the Shepard gang leaning against a car and she knew that they at least had backup in a fight.

Without hesitation, she reached up and took her hoop earrings out, putting them in her purse just in case something broke out.

"Lets see what they want," Ponyboy said.

Two-Bit scoffed at the idea. Why would they ever want to talk to a bunch of socs, especially the ones they would be rumbling tonight, "Why do we want to see what they want?"

They stood outside of the diners and watched as the boys walked towards the three of them. Tim, Curly and Andy stood up from the car and walked over, backing up their friends.

Maria squinted. She recognised some of them, Paul, Chet and Randy. He was Bob's best friend and now here he was.

"No jazz before the rumble, you know the rules," Two-Bit said, preparing to protect Pony and Maria if he had to.

He shook his head, eyes trained on Ponyboy, "We just want to talk to him,"

The boy looked up at them and Maria could see in his eyes that he wanted to do this. She couldn't understand his reasoning but nodded her head, letting it happen.

"Go ahead, Keith and I will keep an eye on you," she said.

He gave her a smile before the two of them walked over to his car which was in the distance. They stood there for a while and she wondered what they were talking about. Was the Soc apologising?

She leaned up against the diner as she watched, her mind drifting to Dally snd Johnng in hospital. What would they say about this situation?

Maria didn't think that it had been that long but then Ponyboy walked over without any injuries or a scowl on his face.

"You good?" She asked, hand on his shoulder. He nodded and looked over at Randy.

"Get the hell out of here," Two-Bit said.

The Soc nodded, "See you at the rumble,"

There was a tension in the air as they walked away. Maria looked over her shoulder at the socs and wondered what they had won from doing that.

"What did super soc have to say?" Maria asked as they turned the corner, the hospital in sight.

There was a sinking feeling in her gut and she couldn't help that worry for the boys build up inside of her with every step that they took towards the building.

Ponyboy shrugged his shoulders. He had been silent since the conversation, hands tucked into his pockets, head hung low like he didn't want to meet anyone's eye, "He just wanted to talk,"

They stopped in front of the hospital, almost like they were all too nervous to go inside.

She took a deep breath, walling through the doors and asking a doctor where they would find Johnny. The boys followed after her and waited as she talked to the nurse.

They followed her all the way to the room and stood outside for a second before walking into the room. She didn't know what she expected to see, but this wasn't it.

Maria had to stop the gasp from escaping her lips as she looked at the little boy.

She remembered meeting Johnny when he was a kid and now here he was, face down, burns all over his neck and arms.

"Hey Johnny," Pony said, not even sounding a little bit phased by the scene in front of hi.

"Look uh. You're pictures in the paper for being a hero, look at that," Two-Bit tried to show him the paper.

She could see the worry on his eyes. All of the boys doted on Johnny for their own reason.

Maria could remember the day when she walked down the street to see Two-Bit holding a broom that Johnny's mother had just used to beat him with. He was yelling at her, condemning her for what she did.

Ever since that day, Two-Bit had taken extra care when he saw the bruises on Johnny Cade's skin.

Now, seeing him like this, it broke all of their hearts. He had gone through so much. He had to make it.

"Thts pretty tough," Johnny said, his voice weak.

"You can look at it later kiddo," Maria said as Two-Bit pulled the paper away.

The words were hopeful. Like he had a later. None of them were really sure if he was going to make it but her blind optimism suggested he would.

"You want anything," Ponyboy asked, hands tucked into his pockets.

"A book man, can you get me another one," he asked.

Maria and Two-Bit shared a look, not understanding why he wanted to read a book right now.

Pony saw their confused expression and explained it to them, "I think he wants a copy of gone with the wind so I can read it to him,"

She nodded her head, it was a sweet gesture, "Of course, they've got a gift shop downstairs, we can go find it," she said with a smile.

She looked once again at the boy lying there, completley immobile. Even if he survived, he would be paralysed. And they'd probably send him to prison. He would have no life left to live.

"Look after yourself Johnny," She said with a smile before walking out with Two-Bit.

They walked in silence through the hospital, past trauma patients and the food court before reaching the gift shop.

Neither of them knew what to say about the whole situation. It wasn't fair and they all knew it.

Maria didn't know what made the bile rise up in her throat but the next minute, she was rushing to the bathroom, throwing up the contents of her stomach.

Two-Bit chased after her, holding her hair back as she grabbed onto the sides of the bowl.

She sat there for a second afterwards, sure that the sickness was brought on by seeing Johnny in such a state. He was so young and it was so unfair.

Two-Bit didn't ask any questions, he just watched as she washed her face up. He handed her a few mints and she smiled before walking out of the bathroom.

"How's everything between you and Dally?" He asked as they walked back, hands in his pockets.

"Good," she looked up at him, a smile on her face, "We're good. He's looking at getting a job, a proper one,"

He chuckled, it was so uncharacteristic of his friend that it was humorous, "I never thought you'd actually date him,"

"Really?" She asked, eyes wide.

She hadn't realised that the other greasers had discussed this with Dally before. They must have all known about his feelings for her.

"He's always been too unpredictable. We always thought you'd be the one to make it out, Dally always thought he'd just hold you back," He explained.

There was silence as she realised it was right. She was staying in Tulsa because of Dally, because this is where they could build their life together. She didn't know where she would go if she could.

There was a gnawing in her chest as she realised it. This life with Dally was exactly what her mother had, and her mother before her. Trapped within the enclosure of Tulsa.

Two-Bit noticed the strain on her face and he looked down at her, "Can I speak openly?"

"Of course Keith, what's up?" She looked up at him, confused as to what was going on.

He smiled to himself, nobody but his mother called him that. Then his smile fell as he tried to figure out how to tell her what he thought, "I thought you'd marry Darry,"

She scoffed, "Darry? As in Darrel Curtis Jr?"

He shrugged, the two of them nearly having reached the ward, "You always seemed like a better match. Dally holds you back,"

They walked in silence until they reached the door and Maria thought about it. Was he really holding her back so much?

She looked into the room and saw Ponyboy standing with Johnny. He was unconscious and a lot of other nurses were standing by his side.

They stood in the doorway, "Is he alright?" Maria asked, that nervous feeling from the night he was injured bubbling back up inside of her.

"You can't see him now," the nurse said, ushering them out of the room.

"You make sure he gets this book alright," he begged, placing the book on the side.

They stood outside for a second, all three of them in shock over the state he was in. They all had the same thoughts but were too scared to say them out loud. He was going to die.

That's when they heard someone yelling and they turned to recognise the woman as Johnny's mother.

"He's my son! He doesn't want to see these no good punks and not his mother!" He exclaimed, being held back by a doctor.

"No wonder he hates your guts, you don't even care about him, you damn drunk!" Two-Bit yelled back at her, tears welling up in his eyes.

Maria placed a hand on his shoulder, maneuvering them away from the situation before it became ugly.

She rubbed her hand over his back as he teared up, the tears spilling over his cheeks. They stood in front of Dallas' door in silence, thinking about everything. Johnny didn't deserve to die, he didn't deserve a mother like that.

"You ready?" She asked and Two-Bit nodded his head.

She opened the door, adrenaline pumping through her veins and that's when she was greeted by her boyfriend. He looked fine, arm in a sling and a bruise on his cheek still but other than that, he was fine.

It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her chest. Dally sat up on his bed, legs hanging off the end.

"How you doing man?" Two-Bit asked, sitting down on the chair opposite him.

"We got you a gift," she said, handing over the little Teddy bear.

She remembered when he mentioned that he had to leave his childhood bear at home that his mother gave him when he moved to Tulsa. She hoped this would bring him some peace.

He held it in his hands, looking at it with a smile, "Thanks," he said, trying not to ruin his cool boy persona.

He sat up on the bed, stretching his arms out and leaning over. He pressed a kiss to her lips before standing up.

"It's good to see you guys man. I need to get out," He said, shaking his head.

He paced for a few seconds before sitting down again. She had never seen him so restless before.

Maria took a moment to look at him. He had bandages up and down his arms from the burns and she wondered how much pain he was really in. She knew he would never tell anyone though, too worried he would look weak.

"I saw my picture in the paper, I can't believe it didn't say wanted dead or alive," he said with a chuckle.

He was just rambling because he felt awkward. He fidgeted with thr paper in his hands before throwing it onto the bed.

"How's Johnny doing?" He asked, genuine fear in his eyes.

"I don't know about stuff like this but he didn't look too good," She said, shaking her head, "Pass out cold before we left,"

He pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket and Maria reached over, snatching them from his hands.

"You promised me you'd quit," she scolded

He didn't make eye contact with anyone. She could see the shame in his eyes though.

It was obvious that he felt guilty about everything that had happened between them. That he felt like it was his fault that Johnny was lying there, half dead.

"We gotta win that fight tonight. We gotta take them out, for Johnny man," They could hear the upset in his voice and the boys nodded.

They had to win. This was all out war between the socs and the greasers at this point and they had to get vengeance for what happened.

Maria looked up at Two-Bit and he nodded, taking Ponyboy out of the room so that they could have a moment together.

She didn't realise then that this was going to be the last time that the two of them would be alone together. She couldn't stop looking at him, wondering what their relationship was.

Was he holding her back?

Maria came to a realisation then that he wasn't. Her home was Tulsa, her friends, her family, her world revolved around this rotten town and she would let it drag her down to keep them.

She looked at the bruise on his cheek and wondered if he could be saved from his fate, dying at the hands of society.

She didn't even notice the tears spilling down her cheeks as she traced over the lines of his face, wanting to remember him like this forever.

"Whats wrong babe?" He leaned up, wiping a tear away from her cheek.

"I don't want you to go to the rumble tonight," she said.

"I gotta fight," he said.

This was one thing she hated. His stubbornness towards things like this. He would always fight, it was in his blood.

"You don't gotta, you can stay here and get better," she said, shaking her head.

"I have to do this. For Johnny," the words were firm and she knew there was no convincing him.

She just stood there silently, arms folded across her chest as she thought about it all.

She knew that he had to do it. He had to go and fight because this was what was best for them all. He would never let down his gang.

He stood up when he saw the sad look on her face. He never wanted to let her down and here he was, doing it again.

"I love you baby, you know that," he placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face up so that she could look at him, "I'll see you tomorrow morning,"

Using the leverage he had, he pulled her face towards him and pressed his lips up against hers.

The kiss was desperate, like he didn't know when he would be able to kiss her like this again.

Dally thought back to being in that church, the ceiling crashing down on them. All he thought about in that moment was that he had to get back to her. He had to.

She was the last thing that he was thinking about as he nearly died, and he knew that he had to make this second chance count.

She pulled away, forehead resting against his, "I love you too Dally," the words were soft, like she was afraid that if she said it too often, he would run away.

In an uncharacteristically gentle manner, he pushed her back onto the bed, his body on top of hers.

"Come on, my girl gets to have some fun before I have to rumble,"

"Not here Dal," She pushed a hand againt his chest.

He stopped her complaining by a simple kiss to her neck, lips sucking on her pulse point. Her eyes rolled back and she relaxed into his touch, forgetting where they were.

"Stay safe tonight," she said, hand tangling itself in his hair, "I don't want any of you getting too hurt. I'll be at the Curtis' so come see me,"

"Okay," he muttered, words muffled against her skin as he sucked another mark just below the collar of her shirt, "Now shush honey and let me work,"

She pulled him back up so that he was looking at her. Maria placed a hand on his cheek and just looked at him for a moment.

She traced his face like it was the last time that she would see him like this, lip turned up in a crooked smile, eyes wide and crinkled in the corners.

There was something about this moment that felt bittersweet.

She reached forward, moving away the wisp of hair in front of his eyes; she always told him he needed to cut his hair.

As she looked into his eyes, dark and stormy like they always were before the fight, she wondered if she could ever truly thaw the coldness in his heart.

Leaning in to kiss him, she wondered what their lives would be like without the gangs. Would she be able to kiss him without wondering if it was the last time she'd ever see him?

Would she finally have some peace?

She didn't know if the fear in her heart would ever go away but she knew that her love for him would never.

2932 words