(WTF IS A KILOMETER RAHHH 🦅🦅🦅)

(Warning: Caelus eats sweet treats that make him see weird 💩 — this chapter is mostly just Caelus being a menace)

Caelus was usually *mostly* immune to y/n's clowning, but her teasing hit a little too close to home this time.

'Is this... a date?' Caelus wondered as him and Firefly took a break following y/n and Aventurine's departure, enjoying some milkshakes that Firefly had bought for the two of them.

His mind was whirling as he tried to figure out what this entire situation was. He was still feeling some kind of way about Firefly dragging him into her mess, but... she'd bought food for him. And brought him to this cool place.

'I was kind of an 🍑...' Caelus thought to himself as the two of them lounged at the snack bar for a break. He gave her a sidelong glance but accidentally caught her eye as she smiled at him.

"Did you have fun? Penacony's Golden Hour is amazing, right?" Firefly inquired, and the trailblazer frowned. Her tone was kind of strange... was she-?

"You sound a little down. Everything alright?" Caelus asked quietly and his petite silver haired buddy blinked.

"Oh— I'm not sad, it's just that... this dream is so loving and forgiving." Firefly murmured, "It's vast and deep, much like an ocean. Even the humblest people can find solace here."

Her solemn expression faded, replaced by a warm little smile, "I really appreciate your help earlier — that's why I took the chance to show you this beautiful place. It was willing to accept me, even though I don't belong, and I've grown very fond of it. That's why I want to share it with others."

Damn. Now Caelus really felt like an 🍑hole.

He inhaled deeply, exhaling quietly as he rubbed the back of his neck, "Huh. So you are a stowaway, eh?"

"I— I'm a lawful resident-!" Firefly protested before grimacing a little and retrying, "Well, now I am."

"No worries, we all commit a handful of crimes in our lives. Come to think of it, I've probably wracked up a number of assault and battery charges." Caelus mumbled, "So don't worry about, okay?"

Firefly chuckled a little, why the heck was she laughing Caelus was being dead serious, but her gaze seemed to catch something that he didn't.

After a brief moment, she began to fidget, "Uh, Caelus? Could you come closer for a second?"

What?

Caelus gave her a quizzical look but shuffled closer.

"Closer, please. I have a question."

Oh. Uh.

Caelus shucked closer, resting his hands on his knees and crouching so they were actually on the same level. The side eye the girl gave almost made him laugh, but he fought to keep a serious face in case she intended to drop some trauma bomb on him out of nowhere.

"...did you travel here alone?" she whispered.

'What the? What kind of question is that?'
"My companions ended up in different Dreamscapes and I was on my own till y/n showed up."

"Oh, I see," Firefly murmured, "I'm not sure if you've realized it or not, but I took you through a very long, scenic route and visited all those places during our tour because..." she leaned closer, her expression serious, "Someone's been following you."

Caelus frowned, "Eh? Who?" he began to turn his head but Firefly grabbed him by the face, her hands squishing his face. He gave her a look of alarm.

"H-Hey!" "Don't turn around."

Caelus nodded hastily as his cheeks began to burn. He was certain that they'd begun turning red, "Ok, ok, I won't—!"

Firefly released his face and he tentatively touched his cheeks with a puzzled look on his face as she continued, "I'm certain that you're his target. He's been tailing us since we parted ways with Mr. Gallagher. Initially, I wondered if he was a friend of yours, but my instincts told me that wasn't the case."

"Well... what does he look like?" Caelus inquired, "Maybe I'll recognize him. He might not be a friend, but I've met a number of people. I might know him."

"Well... he's about 5 feet 9 inches tall, give or take. Judging from his strong build, he's well trained. He walks in long strides, but his steps are light and hardly audibly. That way of walking doesn't leave footprints."

'How the hell does she know all this...?'

"He looks like a skilled fighter, the covert kind, and he has large palms with slender and nimble fingers." 'What's with the description??? I can't even see that well!' "I reckon he has experience using knives, perhaps a shortsword or dagger... do you know anybody like that? Maroon jacket, emerald eyes, dark blue hair?"

Firefly suddenly turned, "Ah, he's coming our way."

Caelus already knew who it was before he turned to look, crossing is arms as Samoa Koski approached them with that damned smile of his.

"Hey, well if it isn't my most loyal customer, Caelus? It's been such a long time, old friend!" he greeted happily, pausing when he got a good look at the young man's face, "Huh? What's with that look?"

Caelus crossed his arms and looked away.
"Should've been longer."

"What was that?"

"It's nothing."

"What a coincidence to run into you here! Oh my, I'm in luck today!" Sampo chimed as Caelus rubbed his temples, wondering if he could just walk away, "And it's Miss March 7th too!"

"That's not March 7th."

"Nope, I'm Firefly."

"Eh? Really?"

Caelus was enjoying his time with Firefly despite his initial hostility, but Sampo was screwing it up.

Why the hell was he here anyways?
Shouldn't he have been on Belobog?
Did he board an IPC ship in secret or something?

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten those brownies before getting in the dream pool..." Caelus mumbled, dragging a hand down his face with a nauseous look.

'I'm going to shut off my brain and I'm not turning it back on until this piece of 💩 goes away.'

And that is exactly what Caelus did. He shut off his brain, as one does when you're reluctant to speak to someone else. And when you refuse to write this entire quest. I didn't want to play it, why the hell would I write it. Anyways—

Caelus did, however, wonder what exactly his h/c haired companion was up to at the moment. She'd rushed off in such a hurry, it was almost a little suspicious...

'I'm glad to see she's feeling better, but she's almost looking a little too happy... the artificial kind of happy.' Caelus noted, 'I know we were all really hoping she'd have a good time here, but it's almost like someone just ripped the trauma and bad memories right out of her and I don't like it.'

'She's still herself of course, I have no doubt about it,  but something doesn't feel right to me...'

And Mimi! Mimi was nowhere to be found!
Which was odd because personal possessions that were brought into the Dream Pool were transported along with them.

'Should I be concerned?' Caelus wondered before a little pinch to his shoulder snapped his brain right back on, "OUCH!"

"Oh! Sorry..." Firefly cringed before offering Caelus a tissue, "You've been out of it for the last thirty minutes so I got worried. And... you're drooling."

"Oh." Caelus took the tissue and wiped at his mouth with an embarrassed look before glancing at the giant eyeball looking at them, "Oh, hey again." he glanced at Sampo and scowled, "You're still here..."

"It's ready," Dr. Edward *the eyeball* announced as he presented a dream bubble to the trio, "Please close your eyes and rest your forehead against the dream bubble."

"Huh?" Caelus mumbled, "What is this..."

"Your friend had us running around doing errands to make it," Firefly explained as Caelus gave the smiling Sampo a mean side-eye, "If you don't want to, we can just... not use it."

"Not use it? But it's made just for my loyal customer and his little friend!" Sampo chirped, "Give it a go, I insist. I wish you a pleasant time."

"PISS OFF YOU DAMN 🚚 HEAD, IM ON A GODDAMN DATE!" Caelus snapped before snatching up Firefly and throwing her over his shoulder.

Firefly let out a shriek after suddenly being scooped up, managing to get out a, "What are you doing—?!" right before Caelus hauled 🍑 in another direction.

As he ran, knocking people over in his desperation to get the hell away from Sampo 'the Stinky Man' Koski, Firefly looked a little rattled from his sudden decision to flee.

"Firefly! Do you know anywhere we can go for some damn privacy?" Caelus demanded and the girl nodded.

"Uh— well, yeah. Just head to Dream's Edge—" Firefly managed to say as Caelus skedaddled.

As they were running, the sound of someone crying for help reached Caelus's ears. He intended to run right past them, but couldn't help skidding to a halt when he spotted... a little clock man?

"Help! Help! Someone's dying!"

"Woah... those brownies really were no joke..." Caelus murmured as he stared at the clock curiously, "What's the problem, little guy?"

"Wasn't I clear enough?! Someone is dying! Please help!" the clock cried before pausing, "Wait— you can see me?"

Firefly gave Caelus a frown from where he still had her slung over his shoulder, "Caelus? Why'd you stop?"

"Sorry, there's a walking clock talking to me..." Caelus mumbled before squirming, "Man, I should buy goods from that guy again. This 💩 hits."

"Can you really see me?" a nod from Caelus, "Tick-tock! Wonderful! This is awesome! Please, I need your help saving Misha!"

"Who the hell are you."

"Ah, right. My name is Clockie, I'm a famous celebrity in Penacony! My friends and I keep the peace in this small town. You must know them! Hanu, Mr. Soda, Origami Bird, Hamster Ball Knight...."

Caelus pursed his lips as a pensive look settled on his face, "Sounds like the different kinds of edibles that shady dude was trying to sell me..."

"What." Firefly gawked at him.

Caelus shrugged at her, "I'm not picky with my food."

"What— no, whatever." Clockie shook his head, "Misha! Misha is in trouble! Tick-tock! Help! Help!"

"Keep ticking and tocking and you'll get stomped, you're giving me a headache!" Caelus snapped.

"Uh, Caelus? Who are you talking to? You're really scaring me here," Firefly said in a nervous tone as the gray haired trailblazer finally set her down.

"I'm seeing a talking clock." Caelus murmured as he rubbed at his forehead, "I was really hungry so I didn't think twice about buying those edibles, but I didn't think the hallucinations would be this bad."

The silver haired girl sighed, "You have a problem... anyways, you mentioned a talking clock? You mean Clockie, right?"

"Yeah, can't you hear him whining?" Caelus grumbled and heaved a sigh when the girl beside him shook her head.

"No, I don't. Where is he?"

"Tick—!" Clockie choked when Caelus sent him a glare, "Ahem, I guess I'm only visible to those with the innocence, kindness, and honesty of a child, like this kid here clad in gray!"

"Look, I'm not a kid. It's those damn brownies because I am anything but innocent." Caelus retorted.

"Don't care, my gray friend! Since you can see me, you've gotta help me rescue Misha! Please! Before it's too late!"

"He's asking me to help someone. Apparently they're gonna die." Caelus told Firefly, "The hallucination will probably go away if I do what he asks, so let's just go."

Firefly shrugged, "Alright then, if someone really is in danger we ought to go check and make sure they're okay."

"Great! Quickly! Follow me!" Clockie cried before running off as fast as his little legs could take him.

Caelus followed, Firefly trailing after him, and they did indeed find a bunch of suspicious men follow a little blue kid and... Acheron?

"Huh, something really is happening over there," Firefly murmured, "Guess those aren't just hallucinations."

"Tick-tock! He's there! Right there! See, Clockie doesn't tell lies!" Clockie exclaimed as Caelus let out a sigh.

Oh boy, what was this about?

"Everyone, please stay calm..." the little boy said in a frantic tone, looking a little alarmed as the group of dudes glared at Acheron.

"You broke the rules, and now you're gonna pay the price!" the man snapped at the purple haired woman.

"Yeah! Punish 'em, boss!" the gang members exclaimed while Acheron stood there looking unimpressed.

She heaved a sigh, "How did it come to this..."

"Why do I keep running into people I know..." Caelus grumbled before glancing down at Clockie, "Okay, little guy, what do you want me to do. Beat them over the head with my baseball bat?"

"No!" Firefly gasped before clearing her throat when Caelus gave her a puzzled look, "I mean— n-no, we shouldn't do that. You could get in trouble. We should try to resolve this peacefully."

"Urgh... fine." Caelus mumbled before glaring at Clockie, "Just get to the point. What do I do."

"Use Clockwork!"

"What the hell is— you know what? Nevermind."

He pointedly ignored the rest of Clockie's rambling as he swiped through the little tutorial pop up, getting a feel for it before turning and walking off before the poor little guy could finish talking.

Look— he just really wanted a normal vacation.

Caelus tapped the boss dude's shoulder, "Yo."

"Mind your own business!" the dude snapped, "I have to let that lady know she's messed with the wrong guy—!" "CLOCKWORK PUNCH!!!"

Caelus abruptly sucker punched the dude and the other gang members jolted, looking alarmed. The man fell to the ground, laying there for a moment. Caelus actually thought he'd knocked him out for a second.

"WHAT THE?!"

The man was left reeling for a second before suddenly... bursting into tears? His sudden hysterics left everyone else looking alarmed while Caelus gave his knuckles a kiss with a proud little look.

"I've done it again," he said with glee while Firefly gave him an almost mortified stare, clearly disturbed, "I mean— oh dear me, ain't I a big bad meanie for making you sob like a crybaby?"

The gangster kept sobbing, "It isn't your fault. I just suddenly... thought about my mother on my home planet... I haven't seen her in so long-!"

Caelus wore a 💩 eating grin, "Oh yeah? That's funny, I just saw your mother the other night."

"Y-You did...?"

"Mhm, I had her bent—" he suddenly remembered Misha was still there and cleared his throat, "—ley repaired at the mechanic. Ahem. There was a bad car accident, you should go call her."

The gang leader didn't have to be told twice, running off while his confused gang ran after him shouting for him to come back.

After that, the little group was left alone together.

"O-Oh, it's you again!" Misha breathed as he gave Caelus a starry eyed look, "Thank you for your help!"

"Misha, are you an acquainted with this gray haired fellow?" Clockie inquired with a curious look.

"He's an esteemed guest I recently befriended. I told you about him, remember?" the little bellboy hummed before giving Caelus a warm smile, "Thanks again for what you did. If you hadn't come to defuse the situations, things could've gotten real bad."

'Oddly enough, they didn't seem to notice him,' Caelus thought with raised brows before glancing at Acheron.

"Thank you, Caelus. It's a nice surprise to be seeing you again," Acheron greeted with a little nod.

"It's no problem at all. Mostly." Caelus grumbled.
'I wanna leave and hang just with Firefly...'

Noticing his little pout, Acheron tilted her head, "Sorry about this. Did your little date get interrupted?"

"DATE?!" Caelus and Firefly cried.

"Sorry for the interruption, I'll leave you and the beautiful lady to it." Acheron hummed with a nod, "Though I am curious about why that man suddenly ran off crying. If you don't mind me asking, what did you do?"

"Yeah... I'm kinda confused too. What just happened back there?" Firefly inquired with a frown.

"Clockwork, or something... let's me 🚚 with people's emotions like how my ex girlfriend 🚚ed with mine."

"What?"

"That's what the talking clock said anyways, neither of you seem to be able to see him or Misha though." Caelus remarked with an uninterested look,I think only I can see him either because I've got child like innocence or because I ate those edibles."

Acheron stared at him for a long moment before crossing her arms, "I'm too old to fit the criteria for that, nor do I eat edibles, so that explains why I can't see him like you can. But if Clockie does exist, that explains a lot of things."

"Eh? You can see me too?" Clockie inquired.

Acheron looked towards him and Misha, but not quite at them, "I can feel the presence of something inexplicable, but it's a shame I can't communicate with him like you can." 'Go away, I'm busy.'

Caelus decided to shut off his brain until the yapping ended because he's uninterested in idle chatter.

"Welp, time to go." Caelus abruptly announced as he began dragging Firefly away, "See you later."

'Why is my vacation getting screwed up, huh? I guess the Clockwork 💩 is a bonus but I want this over with.'

. 　。　　⋆　　•　 　ﾟ　　。 .　.　.　。 .　。
⋆　　　。　　 ⋆。　 ඞ 。　 . • . . ⁎ 。　. 　。　.　　⋆. 　　。 .　 .　　 . ⋆. 。. ⁎ 。•　 　ﾟ　　。

Y/n didn't know what the hell was happening but she really she like it one bit. She kept glitching through walls and 💩, phasing through solid objects and slipping through floors.

What was causing it? Who knows!
But something didn't feel right.

Her body didn't feel right.
She didn't feel right.

Sure, it's a dream, everything is a bit wonky in a dream, but y/n couldn't shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong. And the weirdest part?

She couldn't get 🚚ing mad about it.
Physically couldn't. Completely unable to.
And the heaviness on her shoulders ever since she'd left the Luofu, it was gone. There was emptiness where sorrow and grief was supposed to be, and it felt so horribly wrong.

'What's happening to me? Am I going insane?' y/n wondered as she wandered through the Memory Zone, looking somewhat dazed.

Weary and tired of everything, she wandered about until— a certain smell reached her nose. Oh? Was that...

"Steamed puffergoat milk!" y/n gasped.

With renewed energy, she eagerly followed the scent until she happened upon a little bar nestled into an oddly safe corner of the weird realm she'd stumbled into.

The bar was unoccupied, save for a familiar brown haired Bloodhound. OH MY GOD, IT'S GALLAGEHR!!!

Almost as if sensing she was