BAEKHYUN'S POV

It's been months after I left without giving any notices to Saemi. I cut off connections with her, but the feelings I've kept were still here.

F L A S H B A C K

"Baek, if you're not gonna do this, you'll completely lose everything you worked hard on. We don't want another issue coming after your scandal with Taeyeon—"

"Do you really need to bring that up, sir?" I looked at Lee Soo Man unbelievably. That was years ago! Can't we all move on from that?

"I'm just saying, son." He shrugged as he cleared his throat.

I have already decided. It's all for the best, yeah? If I leave the woman I grew to love, then there won't be any issue coming after her. She would live the peaceful she always had back when she haven't met me yet. And anyway, this has been our agreement ever since the arrangement was set with our parents.

E N D   O F   F L A S H B A C K

But the quenching of my heart just won't stop every time I remember her. Her eyes that speak just the right emotion when everything gets too out of control. Her smile that brings too much joy to me. Her heart that betrays her but still found its way to mine. We didn't plan on meeting each other but so far, knowing her has been the best thing that ever happened to me.

"Hyung, where are you going?" Sehun held me by the shoulder before I could even leave our dorm. I silenced him by palming his mouth as I put my index finger with my other hand to my lips.

The guys are all asleep. It's past midnight when I decided to go out when Sehun almost gave me a heart attack.

"You're going there again?" I quietly removed my hand from his mouth and turned my back at him to open the door. I didn't answer.

"What if someone sees you?" He hissed. I went out and soon enough, he followed behind.

"Then I guess they will see you too." I replied in a-matter-of-fact tone. He's lowkey warning me yet he still went out with me. Seriously?

"Yah!" My eyes widen in shock when I heard a voice coming from the door. I looked back and saw Chanyeol lowering the hood of his hoodie and silently closing the door.

"What are you doing?" I feel like I'm about to explode as I give him daggers.

"I'm coming with you."

"What?! No!" I exclaimed and went ahead to my car but the two only ran fast and got inside in no time.

I groaned in annoyance as I stop myself from banging my head to the steering wheel.

"This is fun," Chanyeol said to himself. 

My breathing is turning ragged just to contain myself from not straining this giant inside my freaking car.

"Since when did you know that Baekhyun hyung's sneaking out late at night?" Sehun asks from the shotgun seat. He's enjoying this too much he takes so many pictures with his phone.

"Since last week." My brows furrowed at his reply.

The whole ride was surprisingly noisy. These two boys won't stop blabbering things. I internally scolded myself for not being careful enough not to get caught but here I am with these two dorks.

"Where are we going anyway?" Chanyeol asked. I stayed silent and Sehun took the initiative to reply.

"You'll see when we get there."

I parked my car just across the street where her house is. This has been my usual spot ever since I saw her with Dongyoon in a café. Maybe they got back together? My instincts are telling me yes but my heart couldn't even accept it.

I have the perfect word to describe myself at this state. Pathetic. But I guess this is the only way I can aid my insanity.

"Whose house is this?" Chanyeol just won't stop asking questions. I was about to whip his butt off when she came out of the house. Time check: 4:17am.

I can see from my peripheral vision that Chanyeol's mouth agape at the sight of her.

"Don't you dare open that goddamn door." I muttered under my breath when I saw Chanyeol about to pull the door open. Sehun shook his head and motioned Chanyeol to do as he was told.

"What? Why?"

"Are you seriously asking me that?" I gave him a bored look. His lips turned into a thin line and I went back on staring at her.

"Until when will you do this?" Sehun asked. 

I don't know.

I've been doing this for months and everytime I see her, I just want to get out from hiding and embrace her so tight and just run away from all the things that could stop us.

I pressed my lips together and shrugged.

For the past few months that I've been watching her from afar, I've observed her routine. She would go out from her apartment and water the plants she planted in her front yard. Then she would go back inside and when she gets out, she'd drive to their shop.

"Why don't you give her anything so that she will know that—" Before Chanyeol could even finish his suggestion, I already started the engine.

"No."

I wouldn't take a risk. I don't want to ruin her life again. I don't want potential harms to keep on coming in her way. It's okay to stay hidden. It's fine for her not to know that I'm here. That I secretly watch over her. That I still like her. It's okay not to let her know that I still love her.

She doesn't have to know.

another late update. i am really sorry. i'm having this writer's block again :(