𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐱
━━ 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓

The way to the Institute was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop. Not even the subway, which was one of Isabelle's favourite topics to complain about, could get them to start a conversation. All they could do was silently pray that Jace and Clary were fine, that they had found Simon and that Hodge was asleep when they got there because, dressed like that, they sure as hell had not been training as they had told him they would be.

Apparently, however, the Angel had decided he hated them that day because, as soon as they got off the elevator, they ran face first into Hodge, who was standing in front of it with his arms crossed and an angry expression on his face.

"Where were– where are Jace and Clary?"

The three of them looked at each other, debating what to say and who would be the one to receive Hodge's yells. They knew that, if they confessed what had happened, Hodge would most likely punish all of them to clean the whole library, book by book. On the other hand, he needed to know where Jace and Clary were in case they needed help.

"We went to a party," Isabelle began, tentatively, to which Hodge spat that he could clearly see that, judging by their clothes. "And Simon got turned into a rat."

"He drank something he shouldn't have. We didn't even have time to warn him!" Aria continued, leaving Alec the privilege of telling the most dangerous part of the story.

"We put him into Clary's backpack but he disappeared and Jace and Clary had gone to look for him."

"Are you all crazy!?" he yelled at them. "Why didn't you come to me!? Alec, you're the oldest. I thought you smarter than this."

"Well, you know Jace. He doesn't care about danger," Aria tried to calm the man in front of them. "But we're telling you now."

"What do you expect me to do now? Go get changed and start cleaning the library. Book by book."

There it was. 

They shame-walked to the library, where Hodge gave them the appropriate cleaning supplies. To be fair, they were the only ones that used them because punishing them to clean books was Hodge's favourite way of "making them learn their lesson". The truth was that, that way, he didn't have to do it himself.

"Where do you think they are?" Aria tried to make conversation, seeing how neither Isabelle nor Alec had said a word since they started dusting off the books.

"We have no way of knowing. See? This is what happens for– for– canoodling with mundanes," Alec spat, anger shining through his words. Isabelle snorted at the hearing of the word he had chosen to use.

"I wasn't canoodling with anyone. He came because of Clary."

"Oh, please, Aria, surely you're not that stupid. He wanted to get in your bed and you wouldn't even stop him," he continued, his words hurting like a blade to Aria's heart. "And everything to get back at Jace who simply doesn't care about it anymore."

"Alec," Isabelle warned him, seeing how Aria's face had changed completely.

The dark-haired boy took a look at her and, although he felt his heart wrenching at the sight of Aria's miserable face, he said nothing. His anger had taken the best of him and he had taken it out on Aria. She was feeling guilty enough about Simon and, therefore, about Jace and Clary being in potential danger. And now she would spend hours overthinking the fact that Alec had implied people only wanted to get on her bed instead of liking her for who she actually was. 

Not another word was uttered until the elevator sound resounded all over the Institute, which made the three of them run out of the library, much against Hodge's warnings. Just as they were getting to the elevator, they saw Jace, Clary and Simon getting out of it, filthy and covered in blood. Simon could not meet Aria's eyes, but neither could Aria meet his. Hodge, on his side, launched into a lecture that would make even the strictest of mothers proud, after which he ordered for the three of them to stay in the infirmary for some days, something that Jace would most likely enjoy.

Since they were limping, Isabelle and Aria helped the boys walk to the infirmary whereas Clary asked to clean herself first.

"Simon," she whispered at the boy, but he gave no signs of hearing her, which only prompted a sigh from the girl. Jace threw them both a look that proved indecipherable for Aria. If she hadn't known better, she would have thought that he pitied for her. But it is Jace we are talking about. He pities no one. 

"Hodge says he's on his way and he hopes you can both manage to cling to your flickering sparks of life until he gets here," Clary said when she walked into the infirmary, already clean and changed, apparently unharmed.

"I wish he'd hurry," Jace complained, even though he was sitting up in a comfortable bed with two girls willing to bring him anything he asked for. When Clary asked if he was in much pain, he was quick to reply, "No. I have a high pain tolerance. Well, it's more of a large and tastefully decorated foyer but I do get easily bored. Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you'd get dressed up in a nurse's outfit and give me a sponge bath?"

"I think you misheard. It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath.

Jace's eyes travelled to Simon on the bed next to his, who winked at him, "as soon as I'm back on my feet handsome."

Aria could not help but let out a chuckle that caught the boy's attention, but he said nothing as Jace murmured that he should have stayed a rat. Clary moved then to Simon's bed, which Aria took as her sign to walk up to Alec, who was sitting alone on the windowsill and didn't look too happy.

She couldn't hear their conversation, but she could perfectly see how Simon leaned forward and kissed Clary sweetly on the cheek. Her eyes connected with Isabelle's, who was by Jace and who was also looking at her. She shrunk under the pressure of their eyes, but her mood changed once again when she saw Alec running after Clary into the hallway of the Institute. They all assumed that he wanted to know what had happened, since Jace had told them next to nothing, so they didn't worry too much.

When it was clear that the two boys needed nothing else, Isabelle and Aria walked out of the infirmary and to their rooms. Or so was the original plan because Aria decided to climb her way to the training room, where she knew she would be alone. That didn't go according to plain either however, because Alec was already there by the time she arrived. 

"Everything okay?" she whispered, softly, as she walked towards him. As hurt as she was by his previous words, it was clear that there was something going on with the boy.

"Yeah," he responded, his tone harsh. Aria stood there for some more seconds in complete silence, unsure of what to do until Alec spoke again. "I pushed Clary against a wall and threatened to kill her."

"Hey, I wanted to do that," she joked, climbing to one of the beams and sitting down beside him, their feet dangling in the air. "What did she do?"

"She told me that Jace had said I was a coward because I have never killed a demon. And that I am in love with him."

Aria's heart jumped at the hearing of those words, knowing how much of a sensitive topic that was for Alec. "You're not a coward, Alec. Jace would never say that. Would a coward have told Hodge that Simon had been turned into a rat?"

"Did you know too? About Jace?"

"I'm in love with Jace too. I have an eye for that," she admitted, resting her head on Alec's upper arm.

"Do you love him?" he whispered back, aghast at the confession. He knew that Aria liked Jace, that she was enthralled by him, but had never thought that she could love him.

"Of course I do. But, sometimes, love's not enough."

Some seconds passed before Alec spoke again, "I'm sorry about what I said before, in the library. I...  I shouldn't have said that. I know that a sorry is not enough and that you're going to overthink what I said but I didn't mean a word I said."

"It's okay, Alec. Do not worry."

The two of them stayed there for some more time until Aria took a look at her watch.

"Am I so boring to be around?" Alec tried to joke, although his voice was still plaintive.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come to the greenhouse to see the midnight flowers bloom. Maybe that will cheer you up," she suggested, hopeful that he would say yes.

"I'm not in the mood," he confessed. "But you go. I know you love them."

"How do you...?"

"You used to ask me everyday to take you there when we were younger. You were scared of how dark it always was," he reminisced with a soft laugh. "Go on, we'll talk tomorrow."

"I love you, Alec. You're the best big brother and mentor a person could ask for," she told him as she got down the beam and walked out of the training room. It didn't take her long to reach the ladder to the greenhouse but, when she got there, she saw that the light was on.

"Hodge? Are you...?" she began to ask as she climbed the steps. When she got up, however, she almost bumped into Jace and Clary, who were kissing. "I'm sorry, I'm– I thought– I'll leave."

"Aria," Jace called her, but she was climbing down already. She didn't even bother reaching the last step. Instead, she leapt down and practically ran to her room, her breathing shaking. She had known that Jace liked Clary, it was blatantly obvious, but seeing them kiss was another matter entirely and something she would erase from her mind if she could. She hadn't even seen the flowers.

She sat down on her bed, debating herself between deep-cleaning her whole room or trashing it only to deep-clean it later. The decision never came to fruition, however, because somebody knocked at her door. Expecting it to be Isabelle or Alec, she opened.

"Aria," Jace breathed, so close to her that she could smell him, a smell that she had comitted to memory.

"Think about putting up a sign the next time–" she began, but was interrupted by the boy in front of her.

"I'm sorry."

"Come again?"

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have seen that."

"It was not a secret that you liked her, don't worry," she tried to brush the topic off, even though her heart ached.

"I know, but one thing is you knowing that I like her and another one is you seeing us kiss. Especially with our... history." He didn't know whether to stay there, on the door, or to come in, so he chose the latter and closed the door behind him so nobody would hear them.

"I'm used to it by now, you know?" Aria sat down on her bed while Jace remained on his feet.

"I know. And I didn't realise how much of an asshole that made me until I saw your face back there. It looked like you were about to cry. I wanted to punch myself."

"I would never cry for you, Jace. I know better," she lied, straight to her teeth, even if she knew it was no use. It was a matter of pride.

"You know, that would have been a better lie if I didn't know it was a lie," he chuckled softly and took a seat beside her. "Don't worry, nothing else happened. I think she likes Simon."

"Is that supposed to be a relief?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." The two of them have never been so close yet so far. Every single time they had been in Aria's bed, they had been glued to one another and now there seemed to be a whole world between them, only in the span of a few days. "Don't tell me you liked him too."

"I don't think so, no," Aria whispered, looking down at her hands. "I think I liked the fact that you saw that he liked me. I thought... I don't know, that you'll realise that I was still here. That you'd see me."

"I always see you, Aria. I always have. Why do you think I keep coming back to you?" He was closer to her now, which made her heart jump.

"Because I'm here," she let out a soft laugh, playing with her ring. Her eyes travelled to Jace's own hands, where his family ring rested. "Because I will always be. And that's why I hate myself the most."

He didn't answer, so Aria lifted her head to see that he was still there, looking at her. His eyes travelled to her lips, swollen from biting them so much. He cupped her cheek, feeling how Aria stiffed.

"Can I...?"

"Yes," she replied, almost inaudibly. She knew that was wrong. She knew that that was probably the worst decision she'd ever taken and that she would regret it as soon as it was over but she could not resist him, especially not how he was looking at her. He leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue moving expertly as soon as Aria opened her mouth.

At that moment, she wanted to think about nothing else. Not about him kissing Clary, not about how many times they had fought that past week. The only thing she wanted on her mind was that he would always go back to her, that she always saw her. Jace's hands travelled up her shirt all the way to her bra.

Their kiss was savage, quick, a clear sign that they had not felt each other in days. The only sounds in the room came from their mouths and from Jace deftly unclasping her bra with one swift movement, his right hand still cupping her cheek. He broke the kiss for a few seconds, asking Aria permission to take her shirt off, but she took the matter into her own hands and removed it herself, her bra coming off with it. She didn't even take the time to feel embarrassed at being so exposed. She wanted him, right there and then.

What followed was a complicated dance that involved limbs and lips and a constant asking for permission, even though they knew neither of them would say no. Their hunger for each other was obvious and the moans coming out of their mouths made that even clearer.

They enjoyed each others bodies up until the last moment, in which, exhausted, both of them collapsed into each other, their breathing quick and encompassed. They remained there for some minutes, trying to regain composure and to get their limbs to work normally again. 

Jace moved his body to be besides Aria's, who turned around to look at him. His cheeks were flushed and his hair sweaty, but yet again, hers was probably as well. Once Aria felt able to stand up again, she walked to the bathroom, where she peed and took a shower while Jace remained in her bedroom. 

She took a look in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and her face glistened with drops of sweat but there was a side to it that she had never seen before. She smiled at herself softly before opening the door.

To be honest, she expected Jace gone by the time she got out of the bathroom, but he was still there, already dressed and sitting on her bed. Their eyes connected as soon as she got out of the room, the soft vapour from the hot water exiting it as well.

He walked up to her, "I should..."

"Yeah, you should," she whispered.

"We'll talk tomorrow, okay?" he caressed her face and, leaving a soft kiss on her forehead, he walked out of the room.

Aria waited a few minutes, just to make sure that Jace had had enough time to reach his room, and then ran all the way to Isabelle's, not caring if she was already asleep.

────────────

As predicted, Isabelle was indeed asleep, but she jumped to her feet as soon as she heard the door to her room open.

"What the fuck happens?" she exclaimed, her eyes suddenly open when she saw Aria standing there. "What's on your face? You're glowing."

"Something happened. Something you're either going to love or to hate."

"Probably the latter," she admitted, getting into her bed again and leaving space for Aria to lay beside her. "Go on."

"Jace and I... well, I caught Jace and Clary kissing and then he came to my room to apologise and we talked and–" she began rambling, wanting Isabelle to get the full picture.

"Aria Fernvale. Tell me that you haven't just fucked Jace."

"I did," she confessed, looking at Isabelle. "But– but me said he saw me, that he always saw me and that–"

"And you just told me that you caught him kissing Clary?"

"Yes. But he came to apologise because he saw how it affected me and he said that it didn't matter because Clary liked Simon anyway and it just kind of happened, really."

Isabelle got out of her bed and started pacing back and forth, trying to figure out how to phrase her words, "Aria... Clary likes Jace. And he likes her back. This was just... you know why he did it, right?"

"Maybe... well, maybe he wanted to. Maybe he wanted me."

"I'm not saying he didn't. He always will, in some way or another, but this was just out of spite. He couldn't have Clary so he went to you as he has done many times before. I just don't want you to get disappointed when you see them together again. I'm sorry I have to tell you this but... no one better than me." Isabelle's voice was soft, careful, knowing that the information was not easy to digest.

Aria looked down at her shaky hands, twirling her ring on her finger. She would be lying if she hadn't thought about that. In fact, deep down, she knew that was exactly the case, but she didn't want to admit it.

She had felt so good when Jace came to look for her that she hadn't even bothered to remember all the times that he had gone to her room just because he had just dumped the girl of the month. And now that reality was dawning on her, that the bliss of the moment was over, she realised how stupid she had been.

"What do I do now? Do I go and yell at him? Stab him? Or do I just act like nothing happened?"

"Honestly, I'd go for the stabbing option but I think the safest bet is to show him that it mattered as little to you as it did to him," Isabelle sat down beside her again, putting a hand on her leg. "Even if I know that is not the case."

Aria nodded, silently. Of course it was not the case but Isabelle was right as she (almost) always was. She had sworn herself one time that she would show no signs of weakness in front of Jace and she had failed herself one time too many. After every argument they had had in the last week, after threatening each other with knives, she had let him in once again without any kind of hesitation.

Isabelle kept her there for some more time, making sure that she was alright. She knew Aria better than anyone, they had grown up together and had gone through every single difficult moment in the life of a girl together, which is why she knew that, if she could, Aria would go straight to Jace and kick him in the face. All while crying her heart out in the process. Sometimes, that is what being a girl is like. Once she had made sure that the girl would be okay, at least through the night, she let her go.

Aria, on her way to her room, however, came across Clary. Her red hair was messy and she had a notebook in her hand. Normally, she would not have given her the time of day, but everything changed when she realised the way she was coming from, which was the way from a particular boy's room.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, trying to make Clary believe she did not want her roaming the Institute alone.

"Not that it is any of your business," the red-headed girl replied, her words harsh as an obvious continuation of what had happened that day, "but I needed to see Jace. Anything wrong with that?"

"It'll do you good to be careful around here, Clary. You really don't want to be on our bad side," Aria warned her. She really wanted to be on good terms with Clary, especially because there were no signs of her leaving any time soon, but she made it so difficult at times that Aria figures having her scared would be more useful.

"I'm not afraid of you, Aria,