𝚈/𝚗'𝚜 𝙿𝙾𝚅

"Hello." Ishigami-kun greeted, entering the student council room. I can feel my body tensing at the sound of his voice.

Every time you walk into the room, got me feeling crazy, shock my heart boom boom.

Any other girl would stare but me, I look away cause you're making me scared.

I'm trying not to breathe

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"Morning, L/n." he greeted, taking a seat beside me and placing his laptop on the surface of the wooden table.

He turned his laptop on and began working. I watched as he did his work. I didn't mean to. I just couldn't help but stare at his concentrated face.

"Is something on my face?" Ishigami-kun asked, taking a small glance at me. He kept the gaze locked on me. I'm sure he's waiting for my response.

I'm trying not to freak when you look at me. Gotta make a move, but I freeze. You don't have a clue what you do to me.

"I-It's nothing." I finally managed to squeak out. I turned back to my laptop screen to hide the massive blush that began to sear through my cheeks.

Boy, you make me shy, shy, shy! You make me run and hide. I feel like I get lost in time...whenever you're near me.

Boy, you make me shy, shy, shy! I'm fighting butterflies. Yeah, you make me lose my mind whenever you're near me.

Boy, you make me shy...

"Y/n-chan? Are you okay? Your face is like super duper red!" Chika-san pointed out.

"Oh uhm...it's nothing. P.E. class really got to me, so I'm still tired from it, but I can manage." I made an excuse.

Am I really that red? Plus, why am I even blushing?! Ishigami-kun just asked me a simple question, don't self-destruct because of that, dummy!

Maybe...I should just accept this feeling instead of putting it aside? Yeah right, I might get rejected because of my foolish thinking.

Rejection is a word that I don't wanna know, but a guy like you could kill a girl real slow.

"I-Ishigami-kun." I called out, he put his headphones down and turned to look at me.

"I-I was wondering if you're doing well in the...uhm...nevermind. S-Sorry for wasting your time." I apologized. I chickened at the last second!

A million words stuck up in my head, waiting to be said, but my tongue is stumbling.

(A/N: I used a few lyrics from the song called "Shy" by Jai Waetford. I changed some parts and removed some lyrics to fit the scene.)

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"I hear he has no one to talk to, so he tries to get L/n to pay attention to him."

"Yeah, he chases L/n whenever he sees her. She would always run away from him. I don't blame her."

"Ishigami's creepy."

I was just sitting at the table in the corner of the library, alone, and I heard a group of girls talking about my relationship with Ishigami-kun.

I believe those three girls are first-years. I remember a few of them from middle school, but it's quite vague.

The first-year female students loathe Ishigami-kun.

In his third year of middle school, Ishigami-kun stalked a girl that he liked and assaulted her boyfriend. Or so the rumor goes.

Ishigami-kun never gave his side of the story. As a result, he was suspended.

The girl transferred to another school, and the attacks on Ishigami-kun, in the name of vengeance for her, have never stopped.

I never asked him about the incident, nor did I ask for his side of the story, and I don't plan to until he decides to tell me. 

Ishigami-kun and I don't talk that much. We still walk back from school together, but it's mostly filled with silence.

My logic was flawed. I thought that if I'd distance myself from him and put these feelings aside, it would fix our relationship, but it's just making things worse than it already is.

I need to go talk to him and apologize. I'm planning to go back to being friends and plan my next move.

Should I confess and tell him my feelings?

Or

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Should I step back and pretend I don't feel this way?

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"Uhm...leader." I called out. It seems like the Cheerleading Squad is taking a break, I can use this as my chance.

"Yes? Yo, L/n-chan!" their leader greeted cheerfully like always.

I sometimes forget that I'm quite popular around school. I don't really like the attention, so I preferred to keep my head low.

"About one of your first-years, Ishigami Yu." I started, my cheeks heated up when I said his first name. It has a nice ring to it.

"Yeah, what about him? Do you like him or something? I can give you love advice!" the leader exclaimed.

"N-No! It's not like th-that!" I denied.

"Then what is it?" he questioned, tilting his head to the side.

"I just wanted to let you know that Ishigami-kun didn't join the Cheerleading Squad as a joke, so..." I paused.

"You don't have to tell me that. I've noticed." he placed his hand on my shoulder and gestured me to turn to Ishigami-kun.

He was drenched in sweat, it soaked the clothes on his back like a map of some foreign land. Sweat trickled down his face.

He worked so hard that even his long bangs had unveiled his left eye. He was panting like crazy.

"I know you want to go talk to him about something." he patted my back with a huge grin on his face.

"H-How'd you know?" I asked.

"You're holding a towel and a water bottle. You were planning on giving those to him, right? I don't mind, go ahead. Yee-crazy-haa!" he exclaimed, pushing me towards Ishigami-kun.

My small body collided with his tall figure. I stumbled and lost balance. I closed my eyes and awaited for the impact, but it never happened.

I opened my eyes and saw Ishigami-kun grasping my hand with wide eyes. He pulled me up.

"L/n...what are you doing here?" he inquired.

"I...uhm...uhhhh...." I stammered, trying to find the right words. He's holding my hand!

I took a deep breath and recollected my thoughts. That's right, I want to talk to him, that's it.

"Can I speak with you? It'll only be for a while." I managed to say that without stuttering.

"S-Sure." he dragged me off to somewhere private in silence. He still hasn't let go of my hand...

"You're working hard, huh?" I chuckled nervously.

"Yeah..." he replied.

"You're working so hard that you sometimes forget to take care of yourself again..." I muttered.

"What do you-" he paused when I started wiping the sweat that trickled down his forehead with a towel.

"I know it's hot outside, so beat the heat with water. You have to a drink a whole bottle of water after practicing, okay? I care about you..." I mumbled, handing him a bottle of water.

He stared at me with those eyes again. It was as if he was staring at a loved one. His pupils would dilate and they would have this odd sparkle when he stares at me.

"Look, I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. Just forget about that, okay? I want to go back to the way things were back then." I said.

"I'm sorry too. I read too much of that romance manga and invaded your personal space. I won't blame you if you hate me because of it." he muttered.

"What are you talking about? I don't hate you and I never will." I flicked his forehead, puffing out my cheeks.

"Break time's over!"

"You want to practice more, right? Go ahead, just don't forget to take care of yourself." I gave him a small smile.

"You can do it." I gave him a thumbs up. He seemed hesitant on leaving me alone, but I kept insisting until he gave up and went back to practice.

You have no idea how much I like you, how much you make me smile, how much I love talking to you, or how much I wish you were mine.

I like you, but I'm scared you will hurt me like they did.

I like you, but I'm scared I misread all of your acts like I did with them.

I like you, but I'm scared you don't feel the same way.

I like you, but I'm scared I'll like you more.

I like you, but I'm scared...I'm scared I'll love you and you don't love me back.

It wasn't love at first sight. My love for you formed gradually.

Your personality, your voice, your hair, your eyes, your humor, the way you give me a smile when see each other....

Gradually, it all came clear to me. I finally admitted to myself what I knew all along, but was too afraid to admit...I love him. I love Ishigami-kun. A lot.

It's fine if I'm nothing but just a friend to him. That's alright with me.

It's fine if I'm not the person who brightens up your day. It's fine if I'm not the one standing right next to you.

It's fine if you have no interest in me, it's fine if I'm not the one made for you.

But all I want from you is to be genuine, to take care of yourself, and be happy even if I'm not the reason for your happiness. That's all.

"Do your best...Ishigami-kun. I'll be watching and cheering you on, even if there's no one on your side."

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